Cottageboss Girlcore

Girl whose most frequent mistake is inaction voice: wow I keep making mistakes I better not do anything

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

Today round ass puppy revealed to me, exhausted, at the end of my rope, that her training wasn't working not because she didn't understand, she did, she did, but instead because treats, chicken, turkey and pork apparently weren't enough motivation. She began obeying every word with startling accuracy as soon as she was offered something else. Doing backflips and stunts with pyrotechnics as prompted for the promise of a pea. A pea. She's a dog. A pea. A pea. A pea. I have to carry peas around now. On my person. Personal peas. 🫛 peas

hands you a flashbang with the pin removed. hold this for me, okay?

i bet cavemen were doing some pentatonix acapella shit all the time

i feel like ive missed out on so much in life. i wish i had been born different. there’s so much grief in this feeling

efforts towards a "positive vision of masculinity" or whatever are so funny because what these guys are trying to figure out is literally "what's a way of being a good person that's Not For Girls™"

sorry for being dramatic but this post did irreparable damage to the english language

my bad damn

World Heritage Post