Memes

Take a step back and breathe if you need to. You can't take care with your writing when you aren't taking care of your own personal needs.

I always remembered him as the bloke from the Nescafe Gold Blend ad from before he was in Buffy.

It’s the last thing you expect Zayne to be carrying as he steps inside the house. Of course, he seems completely ambivalent about it.

“It’s for you.” He hands over the bag, hand brushing your waist when you kiss his cheek in greeting.

“It’s not my birthday, right?” You smile as you pull away the light pink paper, finding a gorgeous baby blue teddy inside.

“Wow! It’s…it’s beautiful Zayne.” Despite being confused, you can’t help but admit it really is gorgeous.

“I’m glad you like it.” He presses a kiss to your temple, one you lean into happily.

“Can I ask why you bought it?” You set it down to loop your arms around his neck, leaning close to him. His arms wrap around your waist, hugging you.

“I thought you would look beautiful in it. And…” He trails off as if unsure he should voice the second reason. But you know him.

“It kinda turns you on to buy my lingerie for me, doesn’t it?” His ears begin to redden, so you know you’re right on the money. You can’t help but laugh, leaning in to kiss him.

“They’re quite expensive. Let me take care of it from now on.” He mumbles against your lips, making you laugh once more.

have some mechabat week day two

And Flambae looks down to see what he’s gesturing to just to find his left nipple bruised all to hell, like all dark and swollen and shit.

All the guys promptly huddle around him, staring at it and poking fun/expressing concern like:

“Dude, who purpled your nurple and how do I stay on their good side?”

“It—it looks really ba—not—not good.” 

“Not good? It looks like someone shut it in the feckin’ door!” 

“That’s one serious titty twister, bro.” 

“What is a ‘Titty Twister’? I am unaware of this human custom.” 

And Flambae, smug bastard that he is, immediately straightens up and puffs out his chest, framing the bruised nipple with his hand and showing it off. “That’s right, everyone gather around and get a good look. This is what it looks like to have a feral little freak pawing at you every night.” 

“Robert did that to you?” Punch Up asks. 

Sonar whistles. “Damn, he’s nastier in the bedroom than I thought.” 

“That’s right, bitches, be horrendously jealous,” Flambae boasts. 

“I’m not really jealous,” Sonar counters. “I do suddenly have an intense fear of showing my nipples around Robert. When's the last time he had his shots?”

Flambae scoffs. “Please, he wouldn’t be interested in your bat-nipples. He only likes mine.” 

Then the comms suddenly click on and Robert’s voice is in their ears asking, “Hey guys, what’s going on? The girls are already dressed out and clocked in.” 

"Yeah, compare dicks on your own time," Visi says.

“Rob—Robert," Waterboy speaks up, "did you reall—actually—Flambae—”

“Robbie, my man,” Sonar butts in, “You almost tore Flambae’s nipple off!” 

There’s a surprised pause, and then all the women on the comms are talking over each other, demanding to know what he’s talking about and asking if they can see.

And then Robert says nonchalantly, “Oh, yeah. I meant to give you some cream for that, Flambae.” 

In the midst of everyone freaking out at what Robert just admitted to so casually, Flambae practically preens. “No fucking need, Bob-Bob, I like it.”

Robert snorts. “Of course you do. It’s a testament to that mouth of yours.” 

All the guys quietly lose their shit—like, oh shit, Flambae’s head game is so good Robert mauled him afterwards. Sonar’s shaking Waterboy back and forth like a ragdoll, Golem gives Flambae a high-five, Punch Up gives him an impressed nod. Phenomaman is looking on in polite confusion.

And Flambae is standing proudly in the midst of it all, extremely fucking satisfied with the way this situation is playing out.

Meanwhile the real explanation is that Robert tends to lay on Flambae’s left side after sex, which puts his left nipple right at eye level. Which wouldn’t be a big deal, if not for Robert’s habit of viciously pinching it whenever Flambae says some heinous shit during pillow talk. 

Okay yeah, Flambae may have stretched the truth a little. He didn’t get that bruised nipple in some sort of sexy payback for giving life-changing head, but as plain old regular payback for running his mouth while Robert was within pinching distance.

Don’t get him wrong, Robert’s still a feral little freak—he just tends to hide the evidence in less visible places.

Smth smth playing with fire snort, happy pride 🏳️‍🌈

Uncensored version w fireplay here