thoschei truther

quare desine dum licet pudico, ne finem facias sed irrumatus; leave off while you still can with your modesty, lest you make your end skullfucked.

i don’t want what you have, i wanna be you.

yes, you do fucking want this job. then, you’re going to have to fucking swallow this whole fucking life and let it grow inside you like a parasite. getting bigger and bigger and bigger until it fucking eats your insides alive and it stares out of your eyes and tells you what to do.  

they make me feel sick

please check out under the cut for my translations of all the catullus lines, because i think late republic roman invective shares a remarkable amount with the thick of it in terms of masculinity, obscenity, domination and homoeroticism.

🥬🫚 fiveturlough week is 1-7 june 2026. more details below. 🫚🥬

I drew those aliens that I hate again

the parasite

To: Oliver Reeder

Subject: Drool-Coated Shit

Ollie

Thanks for the seven-page email on the media strategy for Ben Swain’s book. It was fascinating. I didn’t read it all because I printed it out and reading it sent me to sleep so the last few pages were blurred from the drool that spilled all over them as I fucking slept.

Seriously, Ollie, why are you sending me this shit?? I don’t care. Do you think it makes you look big? Because it doesn’t. It makes you look like a little prick.

Here’s the media strategy for Ben Swain’s book: 1) Book comes out. 2) No one gives a shit. Got it? You can do your crummy party if you and dickless Ben want to chase titless policy wonk chicks around wobbly tables full of piss white wine, but for your info there’s a fuck of a lot of simpler ways than getting a hand job than writing a whole fucking book.

Very worst

the parasite

"Nero's eunuch bride playing a role in the vicissitudes of the imperial succession" The Thick of It & the life of Nero;