Things my new physio has said to me, part 2.
“So I know we agreed to give you a break this week and just do general massage for pain relief but I’m not sure how you’re actually breathing right now so we’re going to fix that real quick. The human rib cage is not supposed to do that…that is…stop that…”
*
“Do you remember our discussion about the use of a safe word if the pain gets too much? Good. Cause this is going to hurt.”
*
“…what kind of blog?”
*
“You know I’ve been called a sadist many times—I’m glad you find that funny, because you’re the one who keeps coming back for more.”
*
“You’re flinching, what’s wrong? What do you mean it tickles?“
*
“Stop laughing. I have a reputation to maintain.”
*
“So when did you shatter your left leg, was that in the car accident? …are you sure you never broke this leg? Fractured? …are you absolutely sure? It’s just…okay, hang on.”
*
“Oh, I see, it’s your right hip causing the inversion on the left knee…okay then. Good to know. We can work with that.”
(No one has been able to figure out why my body is turning inward and my step is uneven, so this is pretty huge for me as I’ve lost a lot of lower mobility over the last five years. He’s pin pointed it to a pelvic subluxation that doesn’t present as a typical pelvic subluxation, which is why no one noticed it when looking at why my kneecaps hurt (but not my actual pelvic area when walking). We also had a fun and open chat about painful sex, and how my diagnosis of vulvodynia “without cause”, likely stems from this. So we have a goal to get my pelvis working again \o/)
*
“On a scale of one to wanting to punch me, how bad does it hurt when I do this? Ha, missed.”
*
“You can call me names if it’d help. I don’t mind.”
*
“Okay raise your middle finger at me. On the arm I’m working on.”
*
“It’s going to feel like I’m pressing my knee into your back. And that’s because I am.”
*
“Okay, on three, give me all your weight and let me twist for you. Trust me, you don’t want to fight me on this. We’re getting your shoulders to sit level tonight if it kills one of us, and I’m not the one with my neck in someone else’s hands.”
*
“I love your hat. You should see mine. Here look, it’s a Tilley. It keeps the sun from reflecting off my bald head and blinding unsuspecting birds.”
