The Boy Who Likes Blue

how did these people manage to take over the world

A cough is just a crunchy breath

OMG everyone I know the ACTUAL story behind the gif this time! Yes, it’s in Australia– that’s a big angry goanna that wandered into a popular restaurant. All the Australians in the vicinity went OH FUCK NO and cleared off, because goannas are mean. The waitress you see there is a French exchange student, who was quoted as saying something to the effect of “I thought it was a weird ugly dog” and had no idea it was a reptile that wanted to rip her arms off. She’s been hailed as a hero who saved diners.

It’s amazing what power “not knowing” has.

The thing I especially love about this is this is a pretty dangerous animal, except she managed to defeat it by just fucking grabbing it by the tail and walking too quickly for it to turn around. Once again the animal kingdom is thwarted because we evolved opposable thumbs, long limbs, and reckless bravery.

weird, ugly dog thwarted by foreign exchange student and polished floors 

my take-home lesson here is that nobody in france has ever first-hand seen a dog

operation: glow up

mission failed

I hate this fucking dystopian incoherent meme of a year

How I want my bank account to look like by 25.

Claiming it.

Waaaaay up 🙏🏾

11:11am on the receipt.

Reblog for prosperity, and success. May you always have what you need.

That’s what I’m saying

In other words, this is the ATM receipt, reblog and money will come your way.

Doesn’t hurt to try.

A lot of adulthood is shouting “AUGH MY LAUNDRY” hours after you put it in the washer/dryer and running to go fetch it

oh shit my laundry

reblog to save someone’s laundry