MarshmallowFae

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‎ “When Allah loves a servant, He selects him for Himself, chooses him for His love, and devotes him to His worship. Then He occupies his concerns with Him, his tongue with His remembrance, and his limbs with His service.”

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baz [رحمه الله] said:

❝These are some of the morals and characteristics of the believing men and women. They help, protect, and support one another. They do not envy, cheat, betray, insult, or call each other by offensive nicknames. They do not slander or do anything that may hurt or cause feuds, enmity, and division; instead they love and advise and exhort one another to do good for the sake of Allah. They, therefore, enjoin the good and forbid the evil amongst them. Such is the behavior of the believing men and women.

With these manners societies prosper and affairs are straightened. In addition to this, the believers perform Salah [Prayer] as prescribed by Allah, in a state of tranquility, Khushu’ [the heart being attuned to the act of worship], and devotion; in its due times; and fulfilling its conditions, pillars, and obligations. They perform it as Allah has prescribed, each in its due time.❞

Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!

My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".

The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...

One says "Students! Looking for a great part-time job that works around your school hours? Apply inside!"

The other one says "No under 18s allowed after 5:00pm without an adult."

‎"Be pleased with everything that Allah does with you. For indeed He does not prevent you except to give you. He does not test you except to protect & save you. He does not give you ill health except to cure you. He does not give you death except to give life to you + So beware of not being pleased with Him even for the blink of an eye. Such that you fall in His eye."