Just Trying To Figure This Shit Out

I got my name and gender marker changed last Tuesday

The first pic is 13 months on T, last pic is probably almost 2 years pre t.

I’m getting some length and thickness

I recently stood up for myself for the first time. To my dad. I got tired of the repetitive misgendering and deadnaming. My fiancé commented on a political post of his and he immediately started blowing our phones up trying to get us to answer. He even made mom call us. He then called my sister to have her get ahold of me. It was 9:30 pm and I have to be up for work at 5. My phone wouldn’t stop. I finally told him to stop and that the least he could do was to quit calling me by my old name. Fucking liberating. He hasn’t talked to me since and I’m okay with it.

Nobody warned me about the hours I’d spend in front of my bathroom mirror and think about how much I hate my body. Nobody warned me about how many hours of my life I’d spend thinking of ways to make my chest look non existent. Some days, I’m perfectly content with binding. Other days, it makes me want to die knowing I have an extra constrictive layer underneath a basic gray T-shirt. Some days, I choose to wear a sports bra because I genuinely don’t care about how I look. Some days, I choose to wear trans tape while other days, it makes me really sad knowing that I have to wear anything at all and have to soak my chest to be able to take this tape off. I’m a protectionist when I put my tape on. That’s my biggest downfall because it’s not always the most comfortable. I’m trying to work past that. The imperfections is what makes it perfect. Trans can be beautiful. It can also be the most self destructive thing that exists.

Scruffy

Check out my GoFund Me link!💛🏳️‍🌈