are you a doctor yet

today i just (remembers to maintain privacy online) did something really cool. you have to trust me

I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.

what a day!!!!!!!! nothing happened and i was tired

love books. because it’s like what if something happened

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

Bro this coffee cake is lowkey cumming in my ass right now

I don't think so

*getting really defensive* I’m literally getting cummed in by it right now

im so hungry i could eat a meal

we all have the homie that's a cautionary tale

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE