you're never going to get back to being your old self bc that's not you anymore. things have changed, life has gone on, circumstances have altered. you can only be who you are now and who you will be in the future. there is no going back. you can be similar to the old you, you can perform activities that the old you did, but returning to that person is not going to happen as that is a skin you have already shed and it simply doesn't fit anymore.
in a similar vein, just as you can't force yourself into the shed skin of the old you, you also can't do anything about your alternative lives. the "I could have gone pro", "I could have lived like xx if not for that relationship", "I could have been a doctor if not for my mom's bad advice". you have to let those alternate universes go. you can't stay mad in the real world while you fantasize about what could have been. the choices you made in life have shut those doors behind you. focus on moving forward and opening new doors.
