Okay, so everyone keeps bringing up the dick sizes of the male characters. I have a few friends who read ASC as well, and the other night, we divided up all the chapters between ourselves and took notes every time there was any sort of reference to a penis. We combined direct evidence (ASC direct quotes, descriptions, comparisons, and words from Breaniebree herself) and estimated the lengths and girths of the characters. We are grown women and this is what we did on our Saturday night. God help us. But let’s settle this!
So here are our estimations given ASC textual evidence:
(Girth = circumference)
Remus- Length: 9.5-10in + Girth: 6-6.5in
Sirius - Length: 6.5-7.5in + Girth: 5.5-6in
Harry- Length: 8.5-9in + Girth: 6-6.5in
Ron- Length: 7.5-8in + Girth: 4-4.5in
Neville- Length: 5-6in + Girth: 6.5-7in
Theo- Length: 5.5-6in + Girth: 4.8-5.2in
Seamus- Length: 4.5-5.5in + Girth: 5.5-5.8in
Dean- Length: 7.5-8in + Girth: 5-5.5in
Draco- Length: 7.5-8in + Girth: 5-6in
Blaise- Length: 7.5-8.5 + Girth: 5.5-6in
*Bonuses* (opinions based on body descriptions, experience, and logic)
Arthur- Length: 7.5-8in + Girth: 4-4.5in
Bill- Length: 7-8in + Girth: 4-4.5in
Charlie- Length: 6-6.5in + Girth: 6-6.5in
Percy- Length 7-7.5in + Girth: 4-5in
Fred and George- Length: 6-6.5in + Girth: 5.5-6in
Science proves that there is in fact correlation between height and penis size. For the taller and lankier Weasleys (Arthur, Bill, Ron, and Percy), it makes sense that they would have a longer length and thinner girth. For the stockier Weasleys (Charlie, Fred, and George), it makes sense they would be closer to a medium length and thicker girth.
Harry is probably closer to 9in, Ron closer to 7.5in, Sirius closer to 6.5, and other characters lean more to one end of their given range than another, but we left some leeway for those who picture them different.
Average penis size is 5-6in length and 4.5-5in girth. In this story, many of the main characters tend to be on the bigger side, but that’s not unrealistic in our opinion, given their cannon character mannerisms.
In the end, it doesn’t matter. They are all perfect in their own way. No ‘too small’ and no ‘too big’ shaming in this community. They can probably all offer a better time than 95% of men can. 😂
Hi, Anon!
I opened this before work this morning and I not only was laughing so hard I was wheezing, but I full on snorted!
This made my entire day!
The pure thought that went into it... the research... the planning... AMAZING! This is now canon to ASC, hands down! Also the mental image of a bunch of "grown women" chatting about ASC on a Saturday night is the absolute best image you could give me for people loving my story. I hope you had wine (I imagine wine).
I LOVE that you divided up the chapters AND TOOK FUCKING NOTES!! You lot are my heroes!
And the bonus add-ons = priceless!
You have facts, you have my notes, you have my tumblr discussions... this is pure gold!
Thank you so much for sharing this with me! 😍😂💖⭐️
