megafoning the entire human race

the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

hm. i feel terrified of everything. surely large ice coffee will ease this terror. surely

i spot a plus size honey across the bar and start to chat her up until her bisexual boyfriend with a magic the gathering tattoo comes over and starts yelling at me so i turn him sideways so he can't make another action until his next turn

having a soft small pet is like, you are so vulnerable, you are biting me, I am responsible for your fragile life in almost every way, your knife hands are in my stomach, I love you more than anything, stop eating plastic you heathen, I cannot save you from the slow march of age or explain to you the divergence of our life spans which consumes me

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

can we focus on the gnome for a second

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

these are the people i have to share a highway with

locusts are SO fucked up. imagine if your apartment complex got too crowded during a drought so everyone in it started overproducing serotonin until they gained 100lb of pure muscle and then chewed through the drywall of every building in the neighborhood

they do this over in philly

In the name of the faggot, the dyke, and the holy tranny, I bless you. Go forth my child, and have as much gay sex as possible

Queer Slur Heritage Post

i dont even know where the bit ends and i begin

love how goethe’s faust is like i am so hungry. i have been shoveling the ashes of the world into my belly searching for a crust of bread, stupidly searching, killing myself for a world that does not have bread anymore. since there is no bread, let mephistopheles bring me gold to eat. let him chop silver into salads and boil diamonds for my soup, and let me live like that until the day i am full—that is to say, let me live forever. and then marlowe’s faustus is like 24 years of demon boyfriend sounds good to me. does it sound good to you? it sounds good to me

I want to see the vampire who lives in this. I bet his name is Chad or Hunter.

And he's ready to crack open a boy with the cold ones.

This websites like We gotta destroy capitalism We gotta end racism We gotta create Community. And then want to kill you for being loud outside.

This website is a suburb