Surprise! Scientifically described in 1898—and last spotted in 1913—the red-crested tree rat (Santamartamys rufodorsalis) was thought to be extinct for more than a century. That changed in 2011, when two observers in a Sierra Nevada de Santa Marta nature reserve in Colombia stumbled upon this critter. This long-whiskered rodent can grow up to 17 in (45.7 cm) long. It’s nocturnal and arboreal, though little is known about this species’ behavior. The red-crested tree rat is listed as Critically Endangered, due to loss of habitat. 

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

This cheeky boy is a Phidippus Regius Everglades, and he has the cutest personality 🥹 Another cutie without a name though.