Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

people with uteri are never gonna have a perfectly flat stomach. they’re always gonna have a little pouch, because that’s where we keep our bees.

once a month the moon angers the bees

let’s stop seeing sex as the biggest thing you can do to show someone you love them

everyone knows that the real way to show someone you love them is to find them a really cool rock. not a diamond. just a neat rock that you think they will enjoy

honestly ? you’re so right

I want to see them do an episode of The Price is Right with ultra rich people I want to see Mitt Romney try to tell me what he thinks the price of dish soap is

I’M GONNA PUNCH YOU

My sides

those are some fancy guitars

i’m done with yall

catch me in target lusting after kitchenware like a 45 year old mother of three

Not hearing someone for the third time, so chuckling and hoping for the best

me: *flips dogs ear inside out* me: can u..,. hear better like this

2 hang

Pretty much how I sing to every Disney song

You’ve just got to belt them out! 

Yet he is the one they “Debunked” until the Photographer had to step in and say “Yes I took those pictures and yes that IS Bernie.”

Lmfaoing that’s wtf I said

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IMPORTANT

@qunaributts

If Hogwarts is the finest, high class school for witches and wizards I’d love to see a spinoff movie of one of the more ghetto, inner-city magic schools.

when u broke af but u strongly support treating yourself