@nilesfreeman’s Writing Blog

The Jacket

Finn sat against the wall of the ship, one of his hands clinging to the jacket he wore. It was Poe’s. It was stupid to wear it, Poe was dead after all, but Finn couldn’t find it in him to take it off. The Resistance pilot had helped him escape the Order, that meant everything to Finn. He held the jacket a little closer and drifted off to sleep.

Rey asks him about it, and he just brushes her off. “What’s with that jacket of yours?” Rey asks. “You never take it off.” Finn tugs at his sleeve self consciously. “Belonged to someone important.” She noticed the sadness in Finn’s eyes and didn’t press him further.

Finn sees him across the way. He wonders if his eyes are deceiving him, if he’s just hoping it’s real. But when Poe wraps him in a hug, all his doubts disappear. “That's my jacket.” The statement catches Finn by surprise. “oh, s-oh.” He begins taking it off but Poe stops him. “Keep it. It suits you.” Eh hits Finn on the arm. "You're a good man, Finn." Finn feels his cheeks begin to warm. “Man, you have no idea how happy I am that you’re alive. I thought you were gone.” Poe smiles and hugs him again. “I’m here, buddy.” He pulls away and holds Finn by the shoulders. “You gotta tell me all the crazy shit that happened.” Finn nods his head eagerly. “There’s a lot to tell.” Poe claps his shoulder. “I’m glad you made it, Finn.” Finn sighs as he lets himself relax. “Yeah, me too.”

Finn finally takes the jacket off that night. He carefully drapes it over a chair in his living quarters before sitting down on his bed to take his boots off. A knock from the door makes him look up. Poe is leaning against the door frame, an easy smile on his lips. “Hey,” Finn says. “Hey,” Poe replies. “Just wanted to check on you. You doing ok?” “Better now that I know you’re alive,” Finn answers honestly. Poe smiles teasingly. “You were worried about me?” “I was,” Finn says as he takes off his second boot and sets it aside. He looks up at Poe. “You were my symbol of hope. That’s why I wore the jacket, it reminded me to have hope.” Poe’s smile turns genuine. “I never woulda got out of there without you.” Finn smiles. “You’re a cunning guy, you would’ve figured it out.” “I don't know about that. Give yourself some credit.” “Either way, I’m glad we both made it out alive.” Poe pushes off the door and moves to sit beside Finn on the bed. “How’re you adjusting to life in the Resistance?” “Probably a hundred times better than living under The First Order.” Poe smiles ruefully and pulls something from his pocket. It’s a nutrient bar. He breaks it in half and hands one half to FInn. “They’re strict on rations around here, but I snuck this. Kind of a celebratory nutrient bar.” Finn laughs and takes a bite of the bar. It was almost tasteless, but Finn couldn’t complain. He was sitting in his own bedroom with a man he admired, having just narrowly escaped death. “Thanks.” Poe raises his half and gently bumps it against Finn’s. Finn laughs quietly before noticing Poe’s troubled expression. “You’re worried about Rey, aren’t you?” Poe nods his head. “Yeah.” Finn looks straight ahead. “Yeah, me too.” “I mean, I never even met her, but I think she’s more important to the Resistance than we think.” Finn takes another bite and swallows the dry nutrient bar. “She’s strong. She’ll be back, I know it.” “So you two got pretty close, huh?” Finn looks down at the floor. “I suppose so.” “You got a girl back home?” “Stormtroopers don’t have families.” Poe nods solemnly. “Maybe you should go for it with Rey. The First Order doesn’t control you anymore, so what’s stopping you?” “Nothing, I guess,” Finn answers. “I just don’t know if I see Rey that way.” “Oh.” Poe isn’t sure what else to say. “I’ve never loved anyone,” Finn says after a moment. “I’m not sure how it feels.” He looks at Poe. “Have you ever loved someone?” Poe’s face grows white in color as he looks towards the door. “Yeah, a long time ago. He was a pilot like me, died fighting the Order.” Finn’s shoulders slump. “I’m sorry.” “Don’t be,” Poe says with a shrug. “It was a long time ago.” He smiles at Finn. “If you love someone, you’ll know it.” “How do you know?” Poe sighs as he tries to think about how to explain it. “You just...know.” “What if you’ve never loved or been loved? How do you measure love if you have no prior scale for it?” The question rattles Poe to his core. The thought that no one had ever loved Finn was jarring. A man so deserving of love had never been shown it. It seemed cruel. “You let people love you,” Poe answers after a minute. “And then you learn to return that love.” “I don’t think anyone on this base even likes me.” Poe shakes his head. “That’s not true.” Finn looks at him. “I like you,” Poe says. “That’s gotta count for something.” Finn surges forward, closing the distance between them. Poe’s eyes open wide in surprise momentarily before he lets himself melt into Finn. He wraps a hand around the back of Finn’s neck, pulling him closer. When they part, they stare at each other for a few seconds. Poe speaks first. “I didn’t expect you to do that.” Finn’s cheeks burn with embarrassment. “Me neither.” His heart drops as he realizes that might not have been what Poe wanted. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes quickly. “I wasn’t thinking, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Poe smiles softly and takes Finn’s chin in his hand, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Finn exhales in relief. “So you’re not mad?” Poe laughs quietly and shakes his head. “Of course not. I’ve been waiting for that to happen since we met.” Finn smiles. “Really?” “Yeah.” Finn kisses him again, because he really can’t get enough of Poe. He manages to get Poe onto his back, and the two are soon a panting mess. Poe breaks out laughing in the middle of it, and Finn pulls away self consciously. “What’s funny? Am I doing something wrong?” Poe shakes his head and holds Finn’s face in his hands. “No, you’re doing great. I’m just blown away.” Finn runs his hand down Poe’s arm. “Why?” “Because you’re amazing.” Finn kisses Poe’s temple. “So are you. You’re the most amazing person I’ve met.” “You did grow up under the First Order, so you bar’s probably pretty low.” Finn shakes his head. “I mean it.” Poe gives a small smile and reaches up, gently rubbing up and down Finn’s bicep. He kisses Finn, if only so he doesn’t have to respond. “I should get back to my quarters,” Poe mumbles. “I’ll never hear the end of it from Leia if she catches wind of this.” Finn nods in understanding. Poe grunts as he rolls off of Finn and sits on the edge of the bed. “Hey, we’re good right? I mean, I don’t want things to be weird between us.” Finn smiles. “Yeah, we’re good.” Poe returns the smile and leans down to kiss Finn one more time. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that, he leaves without another word. Finn watches as he goes, holding a hand over his heart.

Takes place after tfa when Finn wakes up in the Resistance base

Finn wakes up, head cloudy and aching. He reaches up, rubbing at his temple and letting out a low groan. He hears something shift beside him and his eyes fly open. A smile tugs at his lips as he sees Poe in a chair beside his bed.

Poe’s face lights up.

“You’re awake!”

Finn gives a gentle smile. “Yeah.” He shifts and sits up against the pillows, wincing in pain. “How long was I out?”

“Too damn long,” Poe answers.

Finn rubs his head. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”

Poe can’t help his smile. “Really? Thought you’d be disappointed I wasn’t someone else.” He hopes Finn can’t note the jealousy in his voice.

Finn’s face twists in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“Just thought you’d want to wake up with Rey at your side.”

Oh…

Finn clears his throat. “You’re not too bad, I guess,” he jokes. Poe smiles.

“I should tell you, Rey left.”

Finn’s heart drops. “Where’d she go? Is she ok?”

“We found the rest of the map to Luke Skywalker, she went to find him.”

“Why didn’t you go, too? You risked your life to get that map to the Resistance.”

“Wasn’t my place to go,” Poe answers with a shrug. “She was meant to.”

Finn nods in agreement. “I am glad you’re here, Poe.”

The pilot lowers his head to hide his smile.

“C’mon, I couldn’t just leave you here on your own.”

Finn closes his eyes for a second. He was still tired, but he wanted to stay awake, if for no other reason than to be with Poe.

“Thanks for that,” Finn says quietly. “Not a lot of people would stick with me.”

“Why do you think that?”

Finn shrugs. “I’m a traitor, and I get the feeling that a lot of people around here don’t trust me not to go back to the First Order.”

Poe sits forward and places his hand atop Finn’s.

“You’re not a traitor, you’re the bravest man I know. You knew that what the Order was doing was wrong, that they would kill you if you turned against them, yet you still risked your life to save me.” Poe squeezes Finn’s hand. “I don’t know a lot of people who would’ve done the same.”

Finn turns his face down. “I think I’d do anything for you.” He looks up in jaded horror at the realization of what he’d just said.

Poe just smiles and slowly stands from his seat, their hands still intertwined. He leans down and kisses Finn softly. It’s chaste and it’s over soon, but it leaves Finn’s head spinning and his heart pounding inside his chest. He stares up at Poe, eyes blown wide.

“You just kissed me,” he says, dumbfounded. Poe laughs, the lines under his eyes wrinkling.

“I did. Is that ok?”

Finn swallows and sits up further, tugging at Poe’s hand to drag him down close enough to kiss him.

Sam rolls over in bed, burying himself deeper under his duvet. He wraps an arm around Bucky's waist, hugging him closer.

“Hey.”

Bucky groans as he begins to wake up.

“Do you smell that?”

“Hmm?’ Sam mumbles. Bucky rolls onto his back, sniffing the air.

“Something's burning.” His eyes go wide. “Where’s Ava?”

Sam sits up, his eyebrows furrowing. “Shit!” He and Bucky scramble from their bed, sprinting down the stairs. They find their daughter in the kitchen in front of the stove.

“Ava!” Bucky rushes to the stove, scooping Ava up in his arms. “What are you doing?”

Ava giggles and wraps her arms around her father's neck.

“I was making pamcakes.”

Bucky has to smile, even though he should be scolding her. Behind them, Sam sighs.

“Aves, you know you're not supposed to touch the stove.”

Ava pouts. ‘I wanted to surprise you for Fathers day.”

Sams expression softens. “Baby, you didn't have to do that.”

Ava frowns, her eyes beginning to get glassy.

“Hey,” Bucky says softly as he sets her down on the floor, crouching to her eye level. “How about we all make pancakes together, ok?”

Ava’s face lights up. “Really?”

Sam smiles and picks her up.

“Yeah, c’mon.” He sets her down on the counter. “What’d you put in them?” he asks, picking up the stiff pancake from the stove.

“All the right ingredients.” Ava shrugs. “Flour and water and bakin’ soda.”

Sam laughs. “That’s all you put in them?”

Ava pouts her lips. “That’s all I knew how to read from the book.”

Bucky picks up the cookbook and looks over the recipe. He smiles, leaning down to gently kiss Ava’s forehead.

“You did great, sweetie.”

Ava smiles up at Bucky. “I did?”

Sam woke in a cold sweat, heart racing as he sat up and ran a hand over his face. He slid off the bed and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Bucky woke a minute later, noticing Sam’s absence. He sees the light on under the bathroom door and decides to check on Sam.

“Sam?” he asks with a quiet knock on the door. “Babe, are you ok?”

Sam shuts off the facut and sighs.

“I’m fine. Just give me a sec.”

Bucky waits by the door till it cracks open.

“Sorry if I woke you up,” Sam says with a grimace. Bucky shurgs his shoulders.

“Don’t worry about it.” He examines Sam carefully. “Wanna talk?”

Sam runs a hand over his face and shuffles back towards the bed. Bucky follows him, sitting cross-legged on his side of the bed.

“Sorry,” Sam says again.

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.” Bucky places a gentle hand on Sam’s knee. “I know it’s been hard since everything happened.”

“I’m just scared I’m gonna fuck everything up. Steve left me with with this monumental task, and the world’s eyes are on me. I can’t mess this up.”

“You won’t.” Bucky tells him. “You have everything in you that you need to be Captain America.”

Sam gives a small smile. “Thank you. Sorry for being weird.”

Bucky leans across the space between them and presses a kiss to Sam’s temple. “You weren't being weird, you were just worried.”

“I really don’t know if I can do this.”

Bucky holds Sam’s face in his hands and looks in his eyes. “Baby, you can do anything. You’re Captain America, after all,”

Title: Room for two

Square filled: Bed sharing

Warnings: None

Summary: Sam and Bucky are on the road after a mission, and are forced to crash in a motel

The motel receptionist slid the single key card across the counter.

“Sorry about the inconvenience,” he apologizes halfheartedly. Sam smiles politely.

“Don’t worry about it.” He swipes the card up and heads back to the car where Bucky is waiting.

“You look annoyed,” Bucky says as he pulls their duffle bags from the trunk, handing Sam his.

“They’re out of two twin rooms.”

“What’d you get?” Bucky asks, following Sam across the parking lot to their room. Sam swipes the key and unlocks the door, opening it wide enough to let Bucky see.

“One double.” He pauses, unsure. “I don’t sleep much anyways. Take it.”

Bucky says nothing and pushes past Sam into the room, tossing his duffle on the bed.

“You sleep. I know you do.”

“Not much.” Sam shrugs as he closes and locks the door behind him.

“You want the first shower?”

“Too tired. I’ll shower in the morning.”

Bucky shrugs and heads to the bathroom without another word. Sam takes the left side of the bed and clicks on the tv. He falls asleep with a nature documentary playing.

Bucky comes out of the bathroom ten minutes later, a white towel wrapped around his waist. He moves quietly, making sure not to wake Sam. Once he’s changed into pajamas, he climbs into the bed and under the covers, turning off the tv, leaving the room silent besides the buzz of the air conditioner.

Sam exhales loudly and rolls into his stomach, his arm tossing over Buckys abdomen. Bucky holds his breath until he knows for sure Sam’s really asleep. After a minute he lets himself relax, and finds he doesn’t mind the weight on his stomach. His eyes drift shut as he falls into sleep.

Bucky wakes at 2:43 am. That was almost a record. Sam’s limbs are tangled in his. Bucky carefully untangles himself and walks to the bathroom. He shuts the door and splashes cold water on his face, exhaling heavily. The harsh fluorescent light makes his eyes ache.

After drying his face, he goes back to the room only to find Sam laying awake.

“Sorry,” Bucky whispers. Sam sits up on the headboard.

“You ok?” Sam asks.

“Fine.” Bucky crawls back into bed. “You’re a cuddly sleeper.”

Sam chuckles and rubs the sleep from his eyes. “I told you I didn’t need the bed.”

Bucky shrugs and turns his head to look at Sam. “I didn’t mind,” he says quietly. Sams lips pull at the corners. He looks at Bucky for a second more before quickly leaning across the bed to kiss him. Bucky inhales deeply and reaches up, holding either side of Sam’s face in his hands. He lets himself relax as Sam kisses him, a strange warmth flowing through his body.

When they part, they both look nervously at each other.

“Hey,” Sam whispers. Bucky smiles and kisses Sam again, leaning into him. He smiles against Sam’s lips.

Sam lightly thumps the back of his head against the wall, staring at the ceiling. He’s bored out of his mind. At this point he’d rather The Soldier try and kill him, maybe add some excitement to being stranded.

Sam picks up a pebble and tosses it at The Soldier. It hits his artificial arm, making a clink sound before dropping to the ground. The Soldier doesn’t even glance up. No matter how much Sam taunts him, The Soldier is unfazed.

“So, what’s with the arm?” Sam asks. “Did they try and make you into some kind of brainless cyborg?”

“He called you what?” Nebula asks through gritted teeth. Mantis shrinks away, holding her knees to her chest and looking down at her blanket.

“I-It doesn’t matter, Nebula.”

“It does.” Nebula lifts Mantis’s chin with her index finger. “You are no one's pet, and you deserve to be treated with respect.”

“I appreciate you saying that, but it’s not the truth.”

Nebulas eyes grow hard with anger. “Who taught you that?”

Mantis swallows. “Ego did.”

“Ego is dead now,” Nebula says firmly. “He holds no power over you. No one does. You are your own person, and you deserve so much better than to be told by men that you’re not enough.”

Mantis smiles softly and presses her forehead to Nebula’s, letting her eyes flutter shut. “It is admirable that you want to protect me, but I can do that myself.”

Nebula loosely laces their fingers together. “I know you can.”

Nebula sits with her feet propped on the control panel, playing with one of her knives.

“Nebula, where’s Mantis?” Gamora asks. Nebula doesn’t even look up.

“I’m not her keeper, sister.”

“You may as well be,” Drax says. Nebula looks up, her eyes glaring daggers at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Everyone stops to watch how this will play out.

“It means she follows you around like a pet.”

Nebulas hand tightens around the hilt of her knife. She stands, towering over Drax. “Say that again,” she growls.

“She’s your pet.”

Nebula lunges forward, planting a knee on Drax’s chest and burying her knife into his right pec. He yells out in pain, forcefully pushing Nebula away.

“Nebula!” Gamora screams as she rushes to Drax’s side.

“What the hell are you thinking?” Quill asks. Nebula resheethes her knife and quickly leaves the room. She makes her way to Mantis’s room, closing herself inside. Mantis is sitting cross legged on her bed.

“I heard screaming, what happened?”

“I stabbed Drax.”

Mantis’s eyes go wide. “Why would you do that?”

“He said something about you,” Nebula says as she paces in front of the bed. “I couldn’t just sit there and listen to him talk about you like that.”

Mantis crawls across the bed, reaching out for Nebula’s hand. “Nebula…” she says softly. Nebula stops pacing and takes ahold of Mantis’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” she says stiffly. She sighs, running a finger across Mantis’s palm. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to show you I care about you, so I did the one thing I do know how to do.”

Mantis laughs quietly.

“That is very sweet, Nebula.”

Nebula gives the smallest of smiles.

“I just want you to be treated right.”

“You treat me right.” Mantis stands from the bed and kisses Nebula. “What they think of me doesn’t matter, as long as I have you.”

Nebula kisses Mantis softly, her lips lingering on Mantis’s after the kiss ends. “I love you,” she whispers. Mantis smiles and wraps her arms around Nebulas waist, resting her head on Nebulas shoulder.

“I love you, too.”

Nebula places a hand on the back of Mantis’s head, holding her close to her chest. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly. “I’m trying not to be the monster my father made me into.”

Mantis lifts her head and looks up at Nebula. “I have seen monsters, Nebula, and you are not one.” She gently holds Nebulas face in both her hands, looking at her with loving eyes. “You are simply...misguided.” Mantis places a hand over Nebulas heart. “But I know that your heart is in the right place. It always is.”

Nebula lowers her head and shuts her eyes as Mantis caresses her cheek. “There is not a single evil thing about you.” She presses their foreheads together, letting her calmness flow into Nebula.

“You didn’t know me before,” Nebula argues, no fire behind her words as a warm feeling fills her stomach. “I did horrible things, and what I did today made me realize how easy it is to go back to that.”

Mantis lightly shakes her head. “Listen to me,” she says, voice gentle but firm as she reaches down and takes Nebula’s cybernetic hand. “You are the kindest person I’ve met, and you are not the actions of your father.”

Nebula swallows and nods. She lowers her head, capturing Mantis’s lips in a slow kiss. Mantis wraps her arms around Nebula’s neck, walking backwards towards the bed, giggling when her back hits it.

Nebula slips from Mantis’s room later that night. She goes to the bridge where the other guardians are. Drax has a blood stained bandage on his chest. Nebula stands in the doorway, her arms crossed. Everyone turns to look at her.

“I want you all to listen to me, because I’ll only say this one time as a warning,” she says coldly. “If I hear any more offhand comments or digs directed towards Mantis, I will not hesitate to repeat what happened earlier.” She looks pointedly at Drax. “You will all start treating her with respect, because she’s no one’s pet, or a game to make you feel better. I don’t care how broken you are, she’s not your entertainment, understand?”

Everyone nods their head, not daring to say a word. Nebula swiftly turns on her heel and begins down the hallway.

“Nebula!” Gamora calls after her. Nebula doesn’t stop. “Nebula, wait.” Gamora catches up to her places a hand on her shoulder. Nebula quickly turns, tightly grabbing Gamora’s hand and glaring at her.

“Do you have something to say, sister?”

Gamora’s expression softens. “I’m glad you’re letting yourself be happy.”

Nebula drops her sisters hand, surprised at Gamora’s words. She clenches her jaw, trying to regain her icy composure. “Thank you,” she finally says. Her eyes drift up to meet Gamora’s. “I am happy.”

Bucky finally looks towards Sam, eyes heavy, dark circles below them.

“Sam, do you love me?”

Sam’s eyebrows draw together.

“Of course I do. What kind of a question is that?”

Bucky’s gaze falls again to the stairs.

“And I care about your well being.” Sam plucks the cigarette from Bucky’s hand. “So stop smoking these. I shouldn’t even have them in the house.”

“You should get back to bed.”

“You coming?” Sam asks. Bucky looks up, catching the pleading look in Sam’s eyes. He hands Sam the pack of cigarettes and stands up.

“Yeah. C’mon, let’s go.” He takes hold of Sam’s hand and helps him up. Once Sam’s on his feet, Bucky wraps an arm around his waist and kisses him.

“I’m sorry if I worried you. I’m just…” Bucky sighs and closes his eyes

“I know,” Sam says softly. “It’s ok that we don’t have everything figured out yet, but we will. I promise.”

Bucky grimaces.

“I love you.” The words nearly get caught in his throat. They still feel foreign to him.

Sam kisses Bucky’s forehead gently, holding him close to his chest.