Pope: Why are there 6 more dogs in our apartment?
JJ: They're golden retrievers. They retrieve gold. I did this for us!
Pope: you gotta be fucking kidding me

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Pope: Why are there 6 more dogs in our apartment?
JJ: They're golden retrievers. They retrieve gold. I did this for us!
Pope: you gotta be fucking kidding me

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Another messy drawing because I've listened to this song a LOT thinking about them, and I needed to take it out of my brain.
I think this group just suits JJ's mood so much when he's high and comfy with Pope in the hammock. (They always end up kissing)
A thought that has been plaguing my mind for the past couple of days is the representation of abuse in OBX and how it creates different characterization. More specifically with Rafe and JJ.
Not really touching on Rafeās mental issues, you can tell that Wardās opinion of him really matters especially in the first season. And I feel like a lot of that steams from needing Wardās approval and never really getting it. And THAT stems deeper from how Wardās main avenue for abuse is clearly verbal abuse and neglect as a result. He would never really hit Rafe bc if he showed up with bruises at the next banquet, that would make Ward look bad. Regardless bc Ward chooses to verbally abuse Rafe, berate him and disregard him when heās actively asking for help, he creates someone who questions their own ACTIONS. We constantly see Rafe talking abt how heās āfucked something upā and yeah admittedly he shouldnāt be doing half the shit that heās doing. And Iām not excusing his actions. But I think this is a result of a BOY who needs help and was ignored still trying to get his dadās approval that heāll never get.
And where Iām going with the difference of characterization here is that Rafe thinks heās always wrong. In the sense that heās always making the wrong decision, can never do anything right, āneeds assistance constantlyā, and is overall useless. AND THAT IS BC OF WARDS WORDS. JJ on the other hand thinks he as a person if fundamentally bad.
Bc Luke hits JJ with a side of verbal abuse he internalizes it differently. Bc ppls brains are wired to protect them, I think JJās brain has blocked out some of the worse beatings. But not necessarily the words. And I think the words hurt more than the beatings but even the words Luke uses are different. Heās not attacking JJās actions, heās attacking him as a person. And even if heās attacking his actions itās always āyouāre dumbā and not āwhat you did was dumbā. Calling him a āpiece of shitā etc. Heās curating this thought that JJ is a bad person somehow and by extension it subconsciously makes JJ think he DESERVES the beatings. Bc eventually the bruises will fade but the words are still there. And that could lead to the reason JJ does such outlandish impulsive things. Bc in his head heās already bad so how much worse can he really get? Ppl are going to leave him anyways right? He might as well speed up the process, itāll hurt less that way. Like canāt really get any worse if heās already been living at rock bottom.
AND THAT helps me move to my next characterization. Rafe fundamentally believes heās weak bc of his abuse and will submit to Ward bc of that. And I think he does a lot of the crazy shit he does to prove to himself and Ward that heās not weak. While JJ never thinks heās weak bc he can take the punches and the kicks and the hitting. But he thinks heās bad fundamentally where Rafe doesnāt think heās bad just useless.
And I personally think this affects their close relationships a lot. Like ofc the abuse affects how they act in their close relationships. But I mean these specific characterizations.
Like we all know the āJJ doesnāt think he deserves Pope/to be with him bc heās bad/ will never amount to anything in his head and thinks Pope deserves betterā. And I think he does think that but they get through it. I think whatās worse and more heartbreaking for Pope is the little shit. Like JJ actively choosing not to eat as much food bc he doesnāt think he deserves it. Or JJ asks why Pope said he loves him bc āhe didnāt do anything to deserve itā (when JJ says that the first time Pope almost sob cries bc of how sad that implication makes him). Or even JJ trying to ignore his birthday bc āhe doesnāt deserve it this year after what heās doneā. And that just leads to Pope, all the Pogues and the Heywardās (bc itāll be a cold day in hell before Mama Heyward lets JJ continue to be malnourished) actively working to deprogram JJ.
With Rafe itās soooo different than Barry expected. He knows abt the abuse from Ward (bc Rafe told him abt anything he didnāt already see) but he hasnāt seen Rafe with it. Like once they are dating and both finally relax around each other Barry starts to pick up on little things. Like how Rafe says āsorryā way too fucking much. Like if he thinks heās breathing too loud heāll say sorry and then hold his breath. Barry shuts the sorry shit down immediately. Unless Rafe actually does something that Barry warrants a sorry heās not allowed to say it. (He would leave it to Rafeās discretion but he believes him breathing is wrong half the damn time.) Rafeās real quiet bc he doesnāt want to say the wrong thing or annoy Barry. Rafe also tries to prove that heās useful and worth keeping around by cleaning. To say Barry shuts that shit down too is an understatement. Not only does he constantly reiterate that he wants Rafe to talk he is constantly asking him shit to get him to talk. He helps Rafe with cleaning and makes him create a schedule so itās not like heās cleaning when heās feeling useless bc that makes his brain think heās earning his keep.
Sorry this is so long I just had one thought and let it keep going
#what a love confession looks like

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We got more JJPope in the first 5 episodes of this season than in all of s3. We're so back.
Be your best friend I protect you in the mosh pit And I'll defend you in the gossip You know how people like to start shit and pop shit
talking about signaling
Kiara you need to open your eyes soon and notice your man is looking for a man