Photo- online search; didn't see credits (not my photo)
I was going over discharge instructions from surgery 2 weeks ago before throwing them away ( I did look at them when I got home after the procedure). I had scalp cysts removed, and the surgeon wrote that I should eat more vegetables. Seems she kinda needs some info on what I already do/don't eat to make a helpful suggestion. I've got a fridge full of produce, and more in the freezer. My eating disorder is not a secret, especially when I had the NG tube hanging out of my face as I did during the surgery.
I 'get' that she was responding to me not being an x-ray in a swimsuit. But my eating disorder history is well documented. The physical damage from decades of restriction is well documented. She saw me on 2 occasions with an NG in my nose for fluids to keep my kidneys working, with kidney damage BECAUSE of the restrictive eating disorder, NOT diabetes (another common assumption). Basic side effects of starvation are low heart rate and blood pressure. According to my nephrologist, I didn't have enough blood flow to my kidneys BECAUSE of restricting so much for an extended period of time (years) that my kidneys are permanently damaged. I constantly have to defend trying to do what is best for my body to people who don't work in that field, or who don't have any relationship with me aside from 2 appointments (pre-op and day of surgery). She did a great job with the surgery, as did that entire team of people who were assigned to me from pre-op to discharge. I'd recommend her to anyone needing a surgeon. That doesn't change. She is very good in her specialty. Food suggestions? Not so much.
Even a seemingly benign comment like that is extremely triggering. My head just wants not to eat at all. Again. (Or is it 'still'?). This is the kind of thing that leads to worsening of the restriction and increases the feeling of worthlessness. Any comments about food or eating towards someone who struggles to justify eating at all can lead to all kinds of repercussions that were very likely not intended to be problematic. The eating disorder part of my head just hears "you're too fat to eat anything". That's all it ever hears, no matter what I eat, and I like veggies and fruit a lot.
However constructive it was meant to be, the appropriate things would have been either to say nothing and stay in the surgeon lane (removed scalp cysts weren't asking for a salad the day of surgery), clarify that I'm getting in enough fresh food, and/or ask if I'd like a referral to a dietician whose very specific education in nutrition (and some specific to eating disorders) would be much better suited to deal with someone whose brain only hears that food is bad. It is NOT helpful to leave WRITTEN instructions on what to eat without any clarification, no matter how they were intended, especially when there is no relationship with that provider that involves food. I know I'm fat. I also know that for me, unsolicited advice on eating and food intake isn't useful if I am not in a place to receive it as helpful, or it catches me off guard.
Just because someone can leave instructions on something outside of their specialty doesn't mean they should. Read the 'room' (or face). Note the medical history. And if it's outside of the area of expertise, leave it alone.
gummygunk
pixelskylines
blakekathryn
