mufflekip

my god, these bitches gay! good for them.

guilty gear 2.0 better add more ways to frot

Lowkey we should create a giant manmade blood device to attract ticks away from humans and its a giant blood container that pumps like a heart and emits phermones that attract ticks and mosquitos and we should call it Mother

casual survey: reblog if you want to kiss a girl right now

like to charge reblog to cast obviously

hot take but i think cars should be required to have communication radios just like big semi trucks. we should all be able to talk to each other on the road. not bc this would help in any way but because i want it to sound like a counterstrike lobby every time i drive somewgere

the problem with calling inanimate objects “girl” is that once you start you cannot stop. I said “girl” to the dishwasher because that bitch would not close no matter how hard I whacked her pussy. what is wrong with me

everyone's always like "yesss trans women ARE women" until you actually mean it beyond just a slogan and then they start arguing with you

trans women are women except they don't experience misogyny and terfs hate them for being men and they have male privilege and they must atone for their disgusting maleness and

im shadowmaxxing bro. im gloompilled. i would never enter a sunbeam like some sort of light-loving suncel. now if you’ll excuse me, ive got to get back to dark corner farming

Holy Knight of the East just texted me “you need vitamin D bro.” what is that. whats a vitamin

You got followed by 7 porn bots

We would fully accept any Japanese buckaroo

Foreigners will never understand how someone like Rawhide Kobayashi would immediately become a beloved local fixture in whatever small American town he ended up in.

every single time someone pulls the "How would you AMERICANS like it if someone came to AMERICA and" reversal, the answer is always "we'd fucking love it"

Named by his superior by conventions one would apply to a super chill stray cat

The modern equivalent of Judean historian Yosef Ben Mattityahu being formally adopted by the Roman Emperor Flavius Vespasianus and changing his name to Flavius Josephus

what’s the pink they put in pink lemonade that makes it so poppin

that’s pussy babe!