edwin's inherent weakness and struggle with magic compared to what's 'normal' for a magician, that he's dealt with and been ostracised for his whole life, as chronic illness. his string as a disability aid, something he needs in order to simply keep up with his peers in the way that's expected of him in day to day life. how much energy and thought and focus goes into the simplest of actions, the rationing of his magic for when he truly needs it, making those judgments of when he can and cannot push that no one else would think twice about doing, not to mention the fine care and finesse he needs to employ to achieve the things his peers can do without thought. that oh so careful consideration of everyday tasks, and the disdain that comes with being "weak" or incapable as decided by society and having to juggle that judgment with his own self worth, and living with the knowledge that no amount of practice or effort will make it go away
jack is more obvious, his loss of magic as a disability developed later in life that goes along with his present disability, via accident or illness. the endless battle of adjusting to a new normal he never wanted, reworking day to day life while still being trapped by the muscle memory of what he used to be able to do. most importantly there is the volatility of his emotions, an anger at the unjustness of what was taken from him and a very long road to acceptance that sometimes isn't even conscious, a new life and new habits and new adjustments forming around the old ones whether he likes it or not, because he has no choice. the taboo nature of discussing such a thing in society, his name becoming a hushed topic among peers because no one dares to consider such a horrible fate for themselves, his existence a cautionary tale for those lucky enough to not have gone through it
alan's absence of magic entirely as a disability from birth, a limb/physical difference, HoH or visually impaired. something he doesn't feel the lack of, because he's never experienced a life where he had it, gets on just fine in his day to day life no matter how some people might find it tragic. but still, the envy of those who can do what he 'should' have been able to as well, who have the abilities he lacks and think nothing of them. he doesn't need them, doesn't necessarily even want them, but something about it is just a little bit unjust in a way that can be hard to shake. living with a constant what if things had been different, what would his life have been then. the same, but terribly different too
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
turnnoffyourmind
gracieabrams
gummygunk
