100% of dissin' you

i'd truly be fucked in her situation because rumpelstiltskin is not a name that would come to mind for me

drink more tea. no, like, a LOT of tea. drink it for the caffeine. If anyone in your life gets on your case about how much caffeine you’re intaking, start talking about antioxidants. they will have no response to that because nobody knows fucking anything about antioxidants. including you.

you can use your paws to cause events

any day now folks

this could be big

trojan king SHOCKS greek warrior by begging him for the body of his son in perfect dactylic hexameter

after my last concussion I had this weird thing for a few weeks where I like, didn't want to get hurt? like if I thought I might get hurt doing something that made me not want to do it. has anyone else ever experienced this?

I always gotta stop for like 30 seconds when someone says atp. I'm like I know they ain't invoking my very good friend and on-and-off lover adenosine triphosphate, but who else could it be?

I mean at this point it could be anybody

We can't rule anybody out........

Fucker

I'm being dragged in the group chat bc I accidentally wore two different pairs of shoes to the theater. I wasn't even in a hurry, I have no fucking excuse for not noticing this

I totally forgot about this oh my god

Mercury is the most charismatic substance in the universe. Like, there are a lot of things that historical scholars have been wrong about, but you usually understand why; flawed hypotheses, inadequate measuring tools, half-truths, secondary factors that muddy the results. But people across Eurasia saw that shit and just assumed it must be the key to immortality, despite a mercury tonic being literally the opposite of an immortality potion. And they kept trying it despite all obvious evidence. Taoists burned through emperors like lab rats. No other metal has this much rizz