"And miles to go before I sleep..."

HERE WE GO!! #thewalkingdead season finale... I’m ready... 👀 #noimnot #twd #loveit #twdseasonfinale #twdfamily #thewalkingdeadseasonfinale #lucille #lucillegivemestrength 🙈 #selfie #metalheadgirl #empathlife #soberlife #nightowl #comics #horror #nerd #love #beyou #fuckwhattheythink #shineon ✨ #fighter #survivor #warrior #staystrong 🖤💛 https://www.instagram.com/p/BvsZWMrnnrm/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1croo2waao2wy

100 days sober... so damn thankful... I want to repeat what I said in my “90 days/3 months sober” post - so I’m gonna do just that: Self love is more important than I can put into words - and even typing that makes me feel “egotistical” (I have no self esteem but that’s a whole other issue, don’t mind me.) Truly - loving yourself enough to want to live for you, to want an actual life for you... is everything. Beginning to learn self love, wanting this for myself, and a fire inside is what got me from waiting with open arms to die by the bottle after living by it for so long to finally and truly wanting to live in every sense of the word. There were a few times I was laying on deaths doorstep... but thankfully, I’m here. Is it hard? Of course - but is it worth it? More than I can express. Sobriety is a complete rebirth and a constant battle. I’ve had some horrible things happen (not related to the sobriety) the last few months, and my demons have been trying me hard... but I refuse to let any of it break me. And of course, I’ve been dealing with the demons that drove me into addiction in the first place... There’s been a lot of days spent in bed crying and struggling, but that’s okay, I’m getting through it and I’ll continue to - one day at a time. 🙏🏻 If you’re reading this and thinking “I wish I could get sober...” Trust me, I believe in you, you can do this. I can’t tell you how many posts I saw before recovery and thought to myself “I wish...”, I had been addicted since I was 10-12 years old, I couldn’t imagine living without it... and then I finally wanted sobriety for myself, and here I am. It still shocks me in the most amazing way and I don’t take a moment for granted. You’re worth it - don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Don’t be afraid to reach out 🤝 There is always hope... I sincerely mean that. 💛 #100dayssober #thankful #soberlife #rebirth #soberaf #odaat #justfortoday #fightagainstdepression #soberasfuck #irefuse #5fdp #soberissexy #doitforyou #beproudofyou #loveyourself #youareworthit #beyou #fuckwhatpeoplethink #shineon ✨ #empathlife #metalheadgirl #nightowl #IAmMe #fighter #survivor https://www.instagram.com/p/BvCSnmnHB80/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=7p3rsvrz7eb6

✨🖤💛 #stars #moon #sky #love #nightowl #findtheothers #vibes #spiritual #empathlife #hope #love #support #soberlife #odaat #spoonie #fibromyalgiawarrior #fightagainstdepression #recovery #survivor #fighter #warrior #staystrong #beyou #fuckwhatpeoplethink #shineon ✨🔥🖤💛 https://www.instagram.com/p/BufC7z3nRFb/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vdui7w1dju4s

Another picture I got from the Orlando show in December 💃🏻🤘🏻(There’s so many I haven’t gotten to post yet 🙈) Here’s to hoping a Florida date is announced for the next tour soon 🙏🏻🤞🏻♥️ @5fdp @ivanmoody #5fdp #ivanmoody #love #rock #metal #orlando #concert @cfearena #fivefingerdeathpunch #morepicstocome #musicislife #photographer #photography #concertphotography #loveit #ffdp #metalheadgirl #nightowl #knucklehead #knuckleheads #knuckleheadfamily #5fdpfamily #rocksober #soberlife #sobrietyrocks https://www.instagram.com/p/BuSmksSnDsO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=z723c7ssa7ro

This last week has been rough. Negan’s had a tummy ache, I’ve been running around like a headless chicken, and then WHAM... I get an email from the sick fuck of a stalker from back in October... I’ve done all I can, now I just need to breathe. Please, if someone has/is harassing, violating or hurting you in any way shape or form PLEASE know it’s not your fault - don’t be afraid to report them and seek out help and justice. Always keep fighting for yourself... You.are.worth.it. And to those of you that sent me messages the last few days making sure I was okay, thank you ❤️ from the bottom of my heart. It means a LOT. I took a few days to myself and I’m keeping my head up and facing everything head on while keeping my head on. Always keep fighting and never let anyone put out that spark inside of you that ignites your soul 🔥🙏🏻🔥 #survivor #fighter #warrior #staystrong #soberlife #spoonie #fibromyalgiawarrior #fightagainstdepression #nightowl #empathlife #metalheadgirl #fightforyourself #youreworthit 🙏🏻 #justice #awareness Some #humans are #monsters in disguise. #yourenotalone #itwillallbeokay #fightforyou #soberasfuck #odaat #justfortoday #soberstrong #alwayskeepfighting 🖤💛 https://www.instagram.com/p/BuJfO_9nlLw/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18v32fssrngw8

Good morning y’all 👋 Who else is ready for more sleep? 🙋🏻‍♀️😂🙈 Time for some coffee ☕️🙌🏻 💃🏻#goodmorning #happyweekend #sleepyselfie #nightowl 🦉 #metalheadgirl 🤘🏻#pinkhairdontcare #soberlife #odaat #empathlife #soberaf #thankful 🙏🏻 #soberasfuck #sleepy #spoonie #fibromyalgiawarrior #fightagainstdepression #survivor #fighter #warrior #staystrong #alwayskeepfighting 💟 #beyourself #beyou #fuckwhatpeoplethink 🖕🏻 #shineon 🤸🏻‍♀️✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt8Ym0UnWJe/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=d5e7g4208a0v

2 months sober today... And it blows my mind. Please trust me when I say this: You are worth fighting for. No matter how dark and hopeless it seems, don’t give up. Tomorrow is never promised and those of us blessed with a tomorrow will see that the sun does rise - and so do we. Stay strong and always keep fighting - we’re in this together 🙏🏻🤝💞 #rise #risefromtheashes #phoenixrising #thankful #soberlife #soberfamily #love #thankyou #recovery #empathlife #nightowl #fightagainstdepression #suicideprevention #spoonie #fibromyalgiawarrior #odaat #justfortoday #soberaf #survivor #fighter #warrior #staystrong #twomonthssober #blessed #alwayskeepfighting https://www.instagram.com/p/BthtUp7H5t_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=16pr71p2pd5nm

The sun’s just starting to come up but I’m thinking maybe I’ll take my camera on an adventure today, we’ll see 🙏🏻 #goodmorning #photographer #photography #selfie #selfieception #nikon #camera #pinkhairdontcare #nightowl #soberlife #soberaf #metalheadgirl #empathlife #igers #spoonie #fibromyalgiawarrior #fightagainstdepression #survivor #fighter #warrior #staystrong 💛 #love #beyou #fuckwhatpeoplethink 🏃‍♀️🙌🏻💯❤️ #shineon ✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/BtTG3oGndvD/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=faoseywilzh3

Exactly. #quotestoliveby #empathy #compassion #wereallinthistogether #humanbeingsbeinghuman #takecareofeachother ✨ #empathlife #nightowl #soberlife #soberaf #spoonie #fibromyalgiawarrior #survivor #fighter #warrior #staystrong 🤝#regram / #repost credit to @sobermode 🙏🏻💟 https://www.instagram.com/p/BtTEo3tnLKS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=bp4gibtyjnhz

Having a really hard night and feeling all over the place so I’m sure this will be a mess 🤦🏻‍♀️ but this too shall pass. One thing I don’t think many people realize is that recovery is truly a rebirth... Not only do you have to re-learn how to do everything without the “aid” & dependence of drowning yourself in a bottle every second of every day, you also have to learn how to survive without it and begin living. There’s nothing easy about sobriety and there’s nothing comfortable about it, it’s a constant struggle, but it’s a struggle worth fighting for -and anything worth fighting for isn’t easy. Not only was I willing to die by the bottle, I embraced, accepted and expected to... but something changed; For the first time, i wanted to get sober for myself and live, truly live... and I can’t explain how thankful I am to be alive and 57 days into my new life of sobriety. And these two... I’m so thankful and blessed to have these two right by my side every step of the way ❤️ My sweet furbabies who I love unconditionally, more than life itself. ❤️🐶🐰❤️ to think that I rescued them when really, they rescued me, and continue to every day... (and yes, Negan is legitimately hugging me in that first picture 😂❤️ my sweet cuddlebugs ❤️) #thankful #sobriety #blessed #love #furbabies #negan #nivens #pupper #bunny ❤️🐶🐰❤️ #soberlife #soberaf #odaat #justfortoday #fightthegoodfight #alwayskeepfighting #metalheadgirl #spoonie #fibromyalgiawarrior #nightowl 🦉 #empath #empathlife #survivor #fighter #warrior #staystrong 🙏🏻❤️ https://www.instagram.com/p/BtSsUf8HhFk/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1kdma5y76juel