arf shnarf

mr. substance abuser has a suggestion for how we should spend the afternoon

that's MS. substance abuser to you

sorry women sorry sorry sorry you can kick me really hard in the head

not to sound like a spartan but sex as a bonding ritual between two male friends is so underrated

there seems to be a fundamental disagreement between microwave oven manufacturers and the producers of microwave meals over whether the customer should know the wattage of their microwave or if such details should be abstracted away from them

the microwave rice demands 800 watts of power for 2 minutes, but all the microwave can offer me three settings: one low, one high, and one somewhere in the middle. I turn it to the one in the middle as I happen to know 800W is the average power of most microwaves. the light comes on and the bag of rice starts slowly turning, but rather than hearing the usual rumble of the microwave, I instead start hearing short snippets of conversation - words snatched from the ether. the lights flicker and a chill runs up my spine. the voices remind me of those "spirit boxes" ghost hunters use. I double check the setting on the microwave. "ah," I say, remembering that I had set it to medium,

time to make a post on tumblr. surely no one will interpret it to be as offensive and bad intentioned as possible.