Everything's In Order- Except My Head

if you are only a good cook if you have access to premium ingredients at whole foods or above prices then you arent really a good cook

to get a job you have to have 10 years of experience in every possible tool and task that could even tangentially be related to what you'll actually be doing and then you have to prove that you're the smartest person in the world and you're organised and proactive and have great problem solving skills. and then if you beg on your knees like a dog enough and actually get the job, the entire first week will be doing spent reading shit like: 'MANDATORY HEALTH AND SAFETY TRAINING: if the floor is SLIPPERY or BUMPY, you might TRIP. this is BAD. please take this test to check your knowledge. question 1: is tripping bad? yes/no'

I can feel The dryness of those markers in my bones

Fun fact those dry markers were supposed to have water put into them to make them work. You take off the bottom thing and pour water in and bam, instant marker success. Only learned about this four years after I’d lost my set 🙃

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

Hey. Reblog to save some poor kid lots of grief.

Fucking what?!

Every ‘90s child on Tumblr raises their head in outrage.

I just stood up so fast and snatched mine out of my closet brb going to the sink

OH MY GOD

WHAT

What?!

A lot of adulthood is shouting “AUGH MY LAUNDRY” hours after you put it in the washer/dryer and running to go fetch it

oh shit my laundry

reblog to save someone’s laundry

There are two dragons inside of you. One hoards knowledge and the other hoards trinkets. They’re both very excited when you bring them to a museum

Tumblr Code.

good god this just crossed my dash in the year of our lord 2023

I LIKE YOUR SHOELACES??? IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024??

Let’s take it to 4 million, folks!

almost there!

TO 4 MILLION!!!!!!!!!

THE ORIGINAL SHOELACES POST?? ON MY DASH IN 2024??

shoelaces. on your dash. in 2025.

I was about 30 minutes past having scrolled by this when my Tumblr feed bugged, and suddenly every single post was replaced by this one. Not even reblog spam or anything, it just plain overlaid the existing posts, tags and all. I've never felt more in-tune with what it means to browse Tumblr

@hellbraiser

No stop you don’t know what you’re about to unleash