Mallefizz is back

“So. How was your date?”

Regulus did a double-take at Potter’s question, shocked that the older boy’d even known about his plans the past weekend. He shouldn’t have been so surprised, though. For some reason, James Potter seemed to know everything there was to know about everyone in Hogwarts.

He glowered. “He was a half hour late. And then he asked me to pay for the meal,” he murmured, not wanting to relive the awful experience. He still wasn’t sure why he’d agreed to go out with the other boy in the first place. Probably because he’d been trying to forget about the actual feelings he had for a certain dark-haired, bespectacled Gryffindor…

Potter winced. “Ouch. Red flag.”

Regulus snorted. “Needless to say, I won’t be seeing him again.”

“You could date me, instead.”

Regulus’s stomach fell out of his arse, as it frequently did when James said things like that. But, saving face as he always did, he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Sure, alright. Pick me up at eight.”

This time, though, James didn’t back down. “Reg…” he murmured, eyes full of sincerity. 

“What?” he hissed, refusing to make eye contact, his whole body tense.

“Can you just put me out of my misery already?”

He turned, shocked at the other boy’s tone. “The fuck do you mean? You’re the one who’s been joking about this for ages, James, I can’t–”

“I haven’t been joking. Not once.”

Regulus gaped, gaze zeroing in on James’s expression, trying to sense any insincerity in his words. But he found none.

So he swallowed and braced himself. “Fine. Saturday. Eleven.”

The Gryffindor lit up like the sun. “Wait–really?”

“Yeah. Just–I swear to Salazar, if you’re a minute late, Potter–”

But James was too busy grinning so wide Regulus could see his molars. “I won’t, I swear! In fact–I’m going to go downstairs and wait by your common room now!” He began to run off, leaving Regulus wide-eyed.

Also me: *proceeds to write 95% Wolfstar microfics*

Remus: I'm trying to read.

"Oooo, I bet I know!" Peter shouted, bouncing a little on his bed as the four of them sat around in their dorm, unashamedly gossipping about who Regulus Black could possibly be dating.

The rumors had been going around for weeks. Regulus, who was notoriously aloof and often downright cruel, with a resting bitch face even worse than Sirius's, was seeing someone. But the Slytherin refused to say who, even when Sirius had hounded him for hours about it. So, naturally, the four Gryffindor boys had resorted to debating which Hogwarts student was unlucky enough to be stuck with the swot.

"Who, Wormy?" Sirius demanded, feeling like they'd exhausted every possible option.

"James!" Peter yelled, whirling around to point wildly at a completely shell-shocked looking James Potter.

The room was silent for a moment as Peter grinned, Sirius gaped, Remus looked uneasy, and Jame sat frozen.

Then, Peter burst out laughing. "Ha! Kidding! Imagine, though?"

Immediately the tension broke, and Sirius began laughing as well. "Oh Merlin," he wheezed. "Too bloody funny, Wormtail."

After about five seconds, James joined in. "HA! Uh...HA! Yeah. Too funny," he murmured, an odd expression on his face.

Some usually quiet part of my brain: you still haven't read Choices or Crimson Rivers, or disintegration, or...