LION-HEARTED GIRL.

○ birthday starter for @magpiemi

it’s crazy how much things can change in a year. but, at the same time, it’s also crazy how much they can stay the same. lucas’ relationship with yeji has grown a lot and they’ve had plenty of ups and downs, and despite everything, he still feels sad by all that he has to offer, the same way that he did the previous year. of course, that’s because he barely has anything to offer at all. he hoped that he would no longer be in as awful of a situation, yet it seems as though things have gotten worse in a sense. even though he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be here, he ignores it since he knows she would be far more disappointed and sad if he did nothing at all. if showing up is enough of a gift in her eyes, then he wasn’t going to let her down.

even though he no longer needed her to let him in, it’s become a bit of a habit for him to use the key. it’s scary, kind of… he is realizing how comfortable it is, and how much it feels like simply coming home. he knew that he was treading in dangerous waters given his life, yet he wasn’t strong enough to do whatever his brain told him would be best. he simply needed her too much, and she needed him, so he was able to justify it.

he lets himself in these days and when she hears his voice call out to her, she thinks giving him a key had been the best decision they’d ever made. it feels distinctly domestic, the way he moves through the apartment like he’s lived here as long as she has and wraps her in a hug. ( it’d taken all her resolve not to run and jump into his embrace; her dignity and the risk to her recently healed arm just about the only things barely holding her back. ) 

It’s not rare to see the lineup for members change; accidents happen. Either they get caught by the MPD or die in the field. It’s hard not to get attached to her members, especially the ones she calls her daughters. In a world where men have the power, the support and love from an all-female gang are astounding. However, the tightknit relationship has a few rules. If one of the rules is broken, it’s not as friendly. A gang is still a gang, after all.

Upon the news of their beloved con artist betraying them halted activity. Only a few knew what kind of ‘betraying’ happened, and Qian was not one of them. In less than a week, another update spread which no longer associated Yeji ( @magpiemi ) in Corvus, or alive. Although Qian’s alias—and nickname—is more for the prostitutes, it’s for everyone as well. So her heart shattered. Yeji is young, amongst the babies of the crew. Qian gave her oath of protection but she never expected to protect the girl from Corvus too.

She mourned by overworking, taking every business opportunity offered and working long shifts at the hotel. Emotions aren’t easily processed by Qian. Instead of facing it, she drowns it with work. She’ll never be caught being weak.

One of the offers she took was for a technology unveil party. A popular brand name is revealing their new toy and Qian was invited. A hall full of single, nerdy businessmen? Jackpot. She’ll have them all staying at Sunrise Star hotel by the end of the presentation.

           That’s what she thought.

Her black off-shoulder open-legged dress caught the eyes of many, but her eyes were caught on a familiar figure working her adorable, charming smile.

( tw !! brief mention of bruises/injury )

Fuck, she wishes she knew what she was doing here. The whole point of her distancing herself from Corvus and risking quite literally everything to do so was to create a new life for herself — to be as close to good as she could, to deserve the life she wants. But old habits die hard and with an unhealthy coating of make-up to cover her lingering bruises and as little pressure on her mostly-healed arm as possible, she’s wandering around a business party full of rich men for the picking. She’s tempting fate just by being here, tempting herself into old practices or worse, being spotted at all regardless of if she’s doing anything illegal, but here she is, making more dumb decisions because that’s all she seems to be capable of doing. 

Somehow, so far, she has managed to only make idle small talk. Sure, she’s has nimble fingers around a few watches, but her handbag is empty besides her own phone and house keys and she has no accomplice. Reminding herself of what she has to lose this time sobers her up a treat, but apparently not enough to escape as soon as possible. She blames it on the free food and sips of sparkling every so often. 

he wonders how much she knows. probably not much, he reminds himself. her sister only got a few of the details, and he doesn’t even know if she shared her little knowledge with yeji. thinking back to the night before, he feels a tightness in his throat. he recalls the absolute dread he felt when he first realized that the “poor girl” was the one person on this god forsaken island that he was willing to die for. he would have taken all of the oxygen from his lungs if it meant that she could breathe, yet that meant nothing, because there wasn’t much he could do about it. he’s just glad that she’s okay… relatively okay, anyway.

then, he wonders what happened to her in the first place. he has a million questions, but he doesn’t know if he is even owed an answer. despite wanting to ask her, he figures it isn’t his place. he hopes that she’d choose to tell him all on her own, but he didn’t want to push. after all, he wasn’t sure how fragile she currently was. under normal circumstances, lucas wouldn’t pick the word fragile to describe yeji, but looking at her right now… he was afraid that she’d shatter if he so much as softly touched her skin. he was terrified of that happening, especially if he was the one who causes it.

lucas feels unsure, lost, and confused on a daily basis, but this that he was experiencing currently was an entirely new level of it. he didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say… but, yeji practically decides for him, at least for now. he hates seeing and hearing her cry, but he also gets it. he guesses if he was in a similar situation, he might find himself doing the same exact thing. but, despite how bad it hurts and the way that witnessing it tugs on his heartstrings, he manages to remain mostly collected. as much as he is at any given time, anyway.

although his feet wanted to move as soon as the request left her lips, he hesitated. he continued lingering in the doorway for a short moment, though it isn’t long before his legs act seemingly on their own. his brain doesn’t even have a chance to catch up by the time that he’s beside her, but once it finally does, he’s confused about what to do again. he was standing next to her bed, within her reach, but now what? “yeah, yej… it’s me. please… don’t… you don’t have to cry.” it’s not true. she has every reason to cry, and he’s aware of that. he just hates seeing it.

finally, he reaches down and gently takes ones of her hands and holds it in both of his, looking down at her with sadder eyes than he intended. “can i get you anything? you thirsty? hungry?”

she doesn’t want to trick herself into thinking too much into it, but he seems hesitant, unsure. perhaps it’s just her own misunderstandings, her own tiredness making his movements look sluggish and delayed. if the roles were reversed, how would she react? wouldn’t she be stunned into a moment of silence, too? what was she expecting? for lucas to just forget everything they’d said last time they saw each other and rush into her arms like everything is okay? even if he’s forgiven her, even if he no longer holds any anger at her or their situation, how could he pretend she isn’t bedridden, arm broken ( probably; she’d been under the influence of so many painkillers when it was all explained to her that now it just feels like a blur ) and usual bright spirit crushed? when has lucas ever seen yeji cry of pure sadness and relief like this? 

but he does come to within her reach, whether it takes him a minute or an hour, and the touch of his palms either side of her hand makes her heart warm. it feels like her entire body sighs, almost all the weight lifted from her small shoulders. she wants to put her other hand on top, but she can’t move her arm to meet them, so instead she rubs her thumb the best she can against his skin. 

“what else am I supposed to do?” she whines, a little of her infamous attitude shining through despite everything. “I missed you so much. thank you for coming.” a cough racks her lungs, her throat dry and the pain in her chest constant and immobilising. she doesn’t say she almost didn’t think he would come. after all, he has his own demons; in her moment of weakness, she’d considered herself another of them. she’s just another nuisance, another complication. however, finding out he’d been there when she was found, she liked to think he’d at least come for the peace of mind knowing she’s in safe hands, that she’s healing. lucas could be more mad at her than he’d ever been, but she believes more than anything in his warm heart. she hangs her head. she doesn’t deserve his heart. chewing on her bottom lip, her neck clicks at the speed with which she looks back up at his question. 

it was a rainy day. a sad, rainy day. the sky was crying alongside Yejun and that was comforting.. sorta.

he was holding back his tears because once again, he felt a bit more lonely.. dont get him wrong, he likes being alone but, he doesn’t want to always be alone.

he wants a friend too. just someone who would be there for him even when he pushes them away.

yejun was walking around outside, he left his pets inside his small apartment and he just had his phone on him along with his earbuds. he looked around him and he saw people walking about together, two people underneath one umbrella, close together.

it felt like he was one of the only people who was walking alone in the rain. he had his hood up and his earbuds were blasting music. he didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt the tears falling down his face instead of raindrops hitting him. the sun was slowly coming out and he was already at Pebbles Park.

he was too tired at the moment to turn around and go back, so he just went to the nearest tree.

it was shaded and right next to the sidewalk. he leaned against it, wiping his tears away, “why does it have to be so hard… why does it have to be so hard to find a friend..”

she wishes she knew why she’s out this early. the sun is barely rising and she should still be curled up in bed, especially with how late she’d drifted off to sleep last night ( hadn’t it been one, maybe two hours ago? ) but here she is, coat tightly around her and buttoned all the way to her chin, braving the morning. ( night? ) 

it’s calming this time of day. there’s only a few people out; couples spending time together, joggers getting their early fix. pebbles park isn’t a place she’d be caught up in when the sun has set; she knows what’s traded here and what it does to someone she loves, she wouldn’t dare. but now, with it rising in the sky and a new, familiar warmth washing over her, it’s safer. not safe, but better. 

however, when yeji hears what sound like muffled tears, it’s hard to keep walking. perhaps one day her big heart will be the death of her, but for now, it backtracks her to a boy near a tree just off her path. she crouches down at an arm’s length away, far enough for a head start if she needs to run but close enough that he can see her offering him a reassuring smile. 

everything felt wrong and lucas had no idea how to make anything better. he didn’t feel in control of his life at all, and while he kept trying to remind himself that no one really is, it didn’t seem to help. he knew that there were millions of people who had a better grasp on their situation than he did, and he felt kind of envious. after what happened two weeks ago, he didn’t think anything could get worse… and yet… life loved proving him wrong every time he felt that way. as if it wasn’t bad enough that there was a chance that everything with yeji had fallen apart, now… he came close to losing her, and not in a way he was willing to. this is exactly what he had been nervous about, exactly why he ever opened up his big, stupid, selfish mouth.

when things looked this bleak, lucas always tried to find the good going on. no matter how awful life can get, there is always something to be happy about, always something to be grateful for. as he searched his brain and sat in his pitch black room, he couldn’t see anything. there was literally nothing… nothing that made everything seem like it could be okay. right as he was about to give in and find some other way to make things feel bearable, his phone buzzes. he picks it up to see who was contacting him, holding his breath and praying it wasn’t the gang, and then…there it was. the good thing. he could breathe again.

without a second thought or the opportunity to overthink anything, lucas sends a quick text back and leaves his room as fast as he can, grabbing his keys and tossing his jacket over his shoulder then slamming the door. if he’s lucky, he won’t have to see those four walls for a while, because the mere sight of everything that haunts him is enough to make him sick right now. he just needs to focus on the good… the good… “i’m coming, yeji,” is softly whispered to himself as he puts on his helmet and situates himself on his bike.

he’s thankful for the spare key given yeji was obviously in no state to let him in, though he still didn’t feel comfortable walking in without warning, so he texts her that he’s coming down the hall and waits thirty seconds before entering. he knows she isn’t sleeping, yet he still softly clicks the door shut and locks it behind him before making his way inside.

“yeji?” her name comes out hoarse and quieter than he intended, and he clears his throat and bites down on his lower lip before making it to her bedroom doorway. he was hoping he’d smile when he saw her, but her injuries felt like kick in the gut, leaving him breathless again. still, he tries his best not to look too worried, not wanting to scare her. “hey.”

she won’t deny that she isn’t more grateful than she’s ever been to be alive, but it’s impossible to shake the feeling that there’s still something missing. worse, she knows exactly what it is and not quite how to fix it. her entire body aches, yearns to stretch out, for her toes to touch the floor and the tips of her fingers linger far under the ceiling even at their highest, but she’s trapped, stuck to the supposed comfort of her bed. she’d slept through the day, the multitude of god knows what in her system the only way to get her at enough peace to drift off. but when she’s awake in the middle of the night, alone in the silence, she can no longer pretend she doesn’t feel his absence. it’d only been a couple of weeks, but it feels like forever and a day too long since she last saw that stupid smile and twinkle in his eyes. though, the last time they spoke, she didn’t see either of then either. 

maybe he doesn’t even want to see her. she’d been told he was there when she was rescued, but that could mean anything. it’s coincidence, she’s sure, but after that— how long did he stay? did he worry? does he think she’s naive and reckless to have ended up like this? she pulls her knees up a little, not quite to her chest but as close as she can get them before the pain in her right leg especially is too much to bear. she reaches for her phone on her bedside table, catching the sight of her empty glass on the corner. it even aches to breathe out a small sigh. he’s still her lock screen. smiling at her like she’s the sun, the moon and all the stars in the sky. nothing quite like how she’d felt when she spoke to him last. 

but time had passed since then, circumstances had clearly changed. perhaps even if he didn’t want to reconnect, he would at least give a little of his time to come and put her out of her misery— tell her that this is their end. it’s the middle of the night, she reminds herself, he probably won’t even see it until the morning, but she opens their chat, anyway, and begins to type. 

it’s the simplest of messages but she rewords it for fifteen minutes, unsure how to communicate with someone you desperately want back but don’t want to push away by accident in the process. and when she hits send, she tugs the blankets over her head with her better arm, as if hiding in the darkness will make it all easier. however, a single sheet can’t protect her from the unexpected beep of her phone and at first, she thinks it’s a ‘not delivered’ notice, but there he is, a name atop the smiling face of her wallpaper and the words ‘I’m coming’ underneath. 

she hears the click of her lock moments after another message tone. it’s careful, quiet, so she knows it’s definitely him without even seeing the text. that’s when everything hits her. he’s in her apartment, on the other side of her bedroom door and— right in front of her. 

it has been a while since she saw yeji and honestly, it felt like a breath of fresh air. even if it wasn’t going to be a long date, hyunmi still got to spend time with the other girl at their favorite corner store filled with all kinds of sweet.

“what are you picking? it’s on me!“ she says, wrapping an arm around yeji’s own, pulling her close to her as she looks at the menu on top of the counter. there were so many things she likes, so many things she wanted to get, but she was going to wait and see what yeji wanted first. it had been a while since she saw the girl, and honestly, with the lack of actually seeing her and lowkey thinking yeji was avoiding her, it made hyunmi worry.. but she didn’t let it show, there was no need to worry her with anything. with time, and with hyunmi being there to make sure yeji takes care of herself.

“what about that?“ she asks, pointing at a specific item on the menu “wasn’t that your favorite? it was last time we came here.“

maybe yeji’s sweet tooth is a little dangerous, but a treat every now and then won’t hurt anyone, right? it’s not like she spends all her time in here, and she never had the essential childhood experience of spending her pocket money on candy either! ( not that eating it all now is good for her dental hygiene at all either, but thankfully she knows that, even if it’s a hard pill to swallow. )

“on you?” she blinks, a mischievous smile curving the corners of her lips. “well, in that case, I’m tempted to order everything!” her teasing is obvious, if not from the aforementioned smile, then the giggle that follows it. she scans her eyes over the menu and honestly, she thinks she could eat everything listed. if only she wouldn’t get a stomach ache fifteen minutes in. “there’s so much to choose from.” she pouts, eyeing what she always used to have and hesitating — isn’t it a little sad to have what you always have? especially after not seeing each other for so long, wouldn’t it be rude? 

it’s weird. part of him feels like he said something wrong, another says that he should stick to what he said because it’s the truth. while he does go to events like these more often now, it still feels foreign to him even though it should feel… routine. when he was young, he only stayed with his mom whenever his dad offered to take him to these, saying it’s “too boring”, only for his father to agree with him, letting out a playful sigh before going on his way. he only gets into these events now mainly though columba and even then he’s playing different roles in order to get the job done. he never has time to fully enjoy the event because he has to finish a task and get away from the crime scene as soon as possible. so to have the little opportunities thanks to his dad’s role as an officer and being an myc intern, it makes him truly experience that life as he is. but he can’t necessarily explain that to the girl, considering she’s a stranger. so all he does is laugh bashfully and shrug. “still can’t get fully used to it,” he says instead. “even though i’m going to these a lot now, most of my life i just… imagined it.”

the dress code. he definitely sees with her point on it as he nods and hums in agreement to it. he’s glad he’s able to get a good outfit like this, but it’s still not as flashy as some of the people there. that’s sort of how he wants to be, though. as social as he is, he’d rather be in the shadows with where his life was now. maybe if he was a news anchor, he’d be more willing to show himself. but with venom’s life and his life as an intern, he’s comfortable blending it with everyone else. like any other star in the sky that isn’t sirius (pun and also… a fact!), he wishes to be admired from afar. “i mean, i wouldn’t know. i’ve lived here all my life,” he says with a little laugh. “it would be nice to travel the world and see for myself, but don’t have the time for that now.” he grins as she mentions the dress again, nodding as a way to compliment her. at the question, he’s already prepared to say his reason for coming. “ah, the news station i’m interning wanted to cover this event and they got an invitation, so i’m here to help out with that. free food’s definitely a good bonus, though.”

she can understand it, truthfully. she’s been doing this since her early teens, when her father would force her out to steal money from the rich to fund whatever criminal activity he believed himself to be the mastermind of. under the watchful eye of his soldiers, she’d have to blend in without question, but their presence always made it hard to feel completely natural. now they’re not here, but she still can’t ever shake off the feeling that someone’s watching her. perhaps it’s corvus, or his 'ghost’ still haunting her after almost a year of being free, but whatever it is, she tries her hardest to ignore it. there’s no use making herself paranoid for something that just can’t possibly be there, especially not if she doesn’t want her past to continue biting her in the ass when she least expects it. “makes sense. I think, sometimes, the wait for the next event is long enough that you’ve forgotten everything to expect from attending the last one. you know what I mean?” she smiles sweetly, her eyes wrinkled at the corners. 

heliosxmi

Hoseok tried to smile back, yet he was sure that it was anything but flattering. On top of feeling completely terrified, he was finding it hard to regain his balance as the room continued to spin. He felt bad that she was wasting time on him when there was someone out there who probably could use her help. Right now he just felt like he was being a nuisance, not only to her, but to himself as well. He has always took on the role of being that shoulder someone could lean on, not wanting to burden those who are around him. Constantly wearing a brave face wanting to reassure everyone that they could depend on him. However, in this situation, he has been stripped bare from any sort of courage that he’s mustered up over the years. He feels vulnerable, he’s to the point where he can’t even force being brave. His mask has cracked, the truth seeping at the seams. Despair eating away at him as the situation seems more and more unbearable.

As he continues to spiral mentally, hopelessness overtaking his train of thought, a comforting hand reaches out to steady him. He apologizes once again before expressing his gratitude, finally feeling as if he could regain his balance. “I’m okay? I think. I hit my head on the door right when - whatever this is happened.” with a trembling hand, Hoseok reached to touch his forehead, wincing when he touched a tender spot. As he continued to self examine his head he listened to the other describe what events had transpired. “Bombs? Really?” with his free hand, he covered his mouth in shock wondering who would have the audacity to pull such a stunt at such a huge event. Considering how big of an explosion there was that would be the most logical thing to assume in this situation. “Wow, I just thought we were having an earthquake or something..” he mumbled to himself as he glanced down at the rubble on the ground, how did he get himself tangled in such a mess. Maybe he should have listened to that small voice in the back of his head telling him not to take this job when it was offered to him. It was too simplistic for anything not to happen. He felt the panic trying to rise once again, but with a heavy swallow he tries to calm himself down.

“No, yeah I think I can walk now.. Just felt a little dizzy is all.” Hoseok takes a few steps towards the other, though his eyes don’t miss the way she hops on one foot before reaching out to him. He stares at the young woman with concern as he reaches out to her as well, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “The more important question do you think that you can walk? You asked about me being injured, but what about you?” He did a once over, looking at her face down to her feet, worry lacing his voice. Before they could help anyone else like she had mentioned he needed to make sure that she was alright too ( considering she was the most stable between the pair ).

An earthquake perhaps would have been better. The outcome would still be the same; chaos, panic rising in her throat, injuries, fatalities... But at least there wouldn’t be the lingering voice in the back of her head that this isn’t quite over yet, that there’s still darkness haunting them in the shadows cast by the moon’s light. She doesn’t know who did this, doesn’t believe it to be Corvus though she knows they never would have told her regardless, but she does know that the first strike is very rarely the last. Bombs do a lot of damage, but there are survivors, perhaps ones that they hadn’t intended. Better yet, bombs create this very atmosphere — the rushing, the impulsive decisions, the selfishness and the mistakes. It’s so much easier to take lives in chaos, when no one is thinking straight, when everyone feels alone. Her actions at the riots back in June had been more than enough proof of that. If it hadn’t been for Lucas... She dreads to imagine would have happened to her, standing out in the open like a sitting duck, just waiting to be shot. 

Maybe that’s why she’s so determined this time around. Maybe that’s why the adrenaline that pumps through her veins forces her to move despite the pain, rather than freeze in anticipation of it. Maybe that’s why when she spotted him alone, she didn’t hesitate to reach out her hand. She’s cautious, of course; she’s a stranger to him, and amongst the rubble, how can he know who to trust? But she’s never uncertain that she wants to help, never doubts that this is the right thing to do. 

“Well, this is Myeongcho, after all.” She mutters, a hint of sadness but a larger sprinkling of disappointment. This is Myeongcho, an island torn apart by crime and murder and she’s part of it, at least the former — why should anyone be surprised? Should she be more worried that she can tell the difference between an earthquake and a bombing by the tremors under her feet? “Are you new around here or are you just in shock?” She asks, curiously tilting her head. If he’s new, she thinks there probably couldn’t be a better yet simultaneously ( and understandably ) worse way to be introduced to the island she’s always called home. Better to know what he’s in for than get his hopes up, but better also to not be trapped inside a building not too far from collapse. 

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