#lucasmi

there’s a part of her that doesn’t want to admit it — that he’s right. at first, she’d wondered if it was just another step in a con, like her own. if she’s being played, wouldn’t she know? doesn’t she recognise her own game? but it’s lucas. it’s mid-afternoon naps in each others’ arms, it’s the terror in his eyes at the riots when she found out the truth and all the stupid texts she keeps him up with when she can’t sleep. without his speech, without the mind games, why would she ever trust anyone else? why would she trust someone she calls her family, yet she’s only seen on work, someone who she lures in prey for and exchanges regretful ( in her case, at least ) glances with across the room, over someone who has worn their heart entirely on their sleeve since the moment they saved her life? but it stings, because him being right means that she’s wrong. 

corvus are her family. corvus took her in when he had nothing else, nothing but the money she stole from her father and no way to explain it. all she’s ever known is gangs; sneaking her hand into someone’s pocket or running amok in their bank accounts. now he’s asking her to give it all up? but not for him, for her. for her safety, for her youth and her future. she can’t have it all, despite what freedom had always promised her. the question he leaves her with is: is it worth it? 

she’s curled up in a ball in her bedroom when it begins; the downward spiral into realising that nothing is as perfect as she’d convinced herself it was. her perfect family, her easy job, the boy of her dreams, even repairing her relationship with her sister... suddenly she can’t breathe and it doesn’t even matter because she’s alone. lucas wouldn’t want to see her, seulgi... she doesn’t know if she’s quite ready yet for that, and corvus... would they care? a week ago, she wouldn’t have hesitated, but now she couldn’t say. certain members, yes, she’s sure of it, but as a collective— as a group that’s supposed to welcome her with open arms, she thinks maybe they’d be crossed tight. 

but it doesn’t have to be that way; not for all of them. surely, there’s people that will understand, friends she trusts to help guide her. when she meets shiah at the edge of the city that night, she doesn’t really know what she wants yet, not for certain. 

when she leaves, what little is left of her knows there’s no other way. 

“you want to what?” 

yeji hesitates. “l-leave... you know, I’m so young and I’ve got so many years ahead of me and I’m not... I’m not exactly valuable, right?” her motive never passes her lips. even staring into the face of danger, she would never use him as a shield or a weapon. if they can’t be together, then he can at least be alive. “I bring in a little cash and that’s about it— I’ve only been here a year.” 

she scoffs. “it’s not that easy, birdbrain. you think you just pack up and go whenever you fucking want?” yeji flinches, her heart racing. 

“I thought you’d understand— I trusted you to at least try to understand where I’m coming fro—” 

she never gets to finish her thought, nor any that come after it besides run; besides escape, get away, as far as your legs can carry you and it turns out it isn’t that far, but thankfully it doesn’t have to be. the bus stop is only twenty minutes away, fifteen at this pace. the driver doesn’t say anything, he’s probably used to it, and on the way home, she hovers over his number before scrolling a little further. 

he doesn’t want to see you. don’t let him see that you’re too fucking stupid to handle this alone. you’ll only make things worse. 

“h-hey, c-could you meet me at my a-apartment, please? o-or the bus stop down the road? outside the convenience store, yeah. n-no, it’s... I d-don’t feel g-good. I’m on the bus right now. yeah, I’ll stay on the p-phone, I promise. hey, seulgi? I... thank you.” 

one, midnight.

i. LEAVE A LIGHT ON ( ACOUSTIC ) / TOM WALKER

tell me what's been happening, what's been on your mind. lately you've been searching for a darker place to hide, that's alright. but if you carry on abusing, you'll be robbed from us. I refuse to lose another friend to drugs. just come home, don't let go. 

( 💌 ) please. I know I’ve sent over twenty texts but please... just reply. please let me know you’re okay. your grandma said you weren’t home. where are you? come home. come to mine. come to me. please.                 DELIVERED 2:33 AM ✔️

ii. BLACKOUT / FREYA RIDINGS

if you would've just let me in, who knows what could've been? they tell me to forget, but I don't want to. your face is all I seem to see. how can I blackout you?

( 💌 ) I can’t stop worrying about you                 SAVE TO DRAFTS? NO ( 💌 ) let me in. I know you’re home, I can see your light on. you don’t have to do this alone. I’m always here. let me take care of you.                CAS IS TYPING...

iii. HUMAN / DODIE FEAT. TOM WALKER 

I want to give you your grin. so tell me you can't bear a room that I'm not in. paint me in trust, I'll be your best friend. call me the one. this night just can't end. 

( 📞 ) “you can’t call me your best friend for the first time over text, asshole! I want to hear you say it out lo—”                DISCONNECTED ❌

iv. LET YOU LOVE ME ( ACOUSTIC ) / RITA ORA 

I should've stayed with you last night instead of going out to find trouble. that's just trouble (yeah). I think I run away sometimes, whenever I get too vulnerable. that's not your fault. 

( 💌 ) are you pushing me away? am I too annoying? don’t you want to spend time with me anymore? why do you always stand me up...                SAVE TO DRAFTS? NO 

v. SOS ( ACOUSTIC ) / COREY GRAY 

can you hear me? s.o.s. help me put my mind to rest. 

( 📞 ) “just talk to me, cas. keep talking to me while I come to you. don’t disappear on me or I swear to god...”                ACCEPT VIDEO CALL? YES 

two, dawn.

i. ONE / LEWIS CAPALDI 

you don't know what you got till it's gone, know when it's right till it's wrong. in search of perfect when you had it with you all along. you broke her heart down with ease. now I'm pickin' up every piece. you must be so hard to please. 

( 💌 ) I’m so glad I told you about everything — about seulgi, about my dad, about how I felt. you always seem to have the right words to make everything better. I always thought he loved me and even when I didn’t, a part of me still couldn’t accept it. you have no idea how much it meant to hear it from someone else. from you. thank you. goodnight, cas. sleep well ❤️                DELIVERED 1:56 AM ✔️

ii. DON’T DESERVE YOU / PLUMB 

I don't deserve your love, but you give it to me anyway. can't get enough, you're everything I need. and when I walk away, take off running and come right after me. it's what you do, and I don't deserve you. 

( 📞 ) “sounds like a shitty day... wanna get pizza and watch a movie? today doesn’t have to be all bad, you know. what do you want? I’ll order while you ride over here. safely. don’t you dare go fast or get distracted.”                  CALL DURATION: 23 MINUTES

iii. BROKEN / JESS GLYNNE

you always have the words that never let me down, let me down. always make me laugh somehow. you tell me don't worry when I've done wrong. it's something that I'll never know; how you can love someone so broken, so right? 'cause all I ever wanted was a little bit of paradise.

( 📞 ) “you know you’re not as bad as you seem to think you are, right? you think I don’t know you help the elderly cross the street and I bet you even save kittens, too. you can’t fool me. don’t give me none of this ‘bad to be around’ shit; we’ve been over this, cas. I’m right beside you, no matter what.”                 VIDEO CALL DURATION: 1 HOUR, 6 MINUTES

iv. HERE WITH ME ( ACOUSTIC ) / DANIEL ROBINSON

can I tell you something just between you and me? when I hear your voice, I know I'm finally free. every single word is perfect as it can be and I need you here with me. when you lift me up, I know that I'll never fall. I can speak to you by saying nothing at all. every single time, I find it harder to breathe, 'cause I need you here with me. 

( 💌 ) are you busy? can you call me? I’m sorry I’m a pain. I had a nightmare... don’t come over. it’s too late and too far, but... I need you.                BIG BIRD IS CALLING... 📞

v. INTERTWINED / DODIE 

skin, heat, hair in your mouth. feet touching feet. oh, you and I, safe from the world, though the world will try. oh, I'm afraid of the things in my brain, but we can stay here and laugh away the fear. 

( 💌 ) when you’re with me, I feel like I can take on the world.                 BAD BOI IS TYPING... 

vi. SAY YOU WON’T LET GO / CHLARA

I met you in the dark, you lit me up. you made me feel as though I was enough. we danced the night away, we drank too much. I held your hair back when you were throwing up.

( 📞 ) “hey. this is... a voicemail. you’re asleep in the next room but I want you to hear this when you wake up before you think about leaving or... feeling bad. I’d do this a million times over to know you’re safe. the only hard part of this for me is seeing the sadness in your eyes but the joy when it’s all over... it’s so worth it. so don’t you dare worry about me. you’re everything I need. I hope you slept well. your snores give me the impression that you are, but... heh. see you soon.”                 DISCONNECTED ❌

vii. WALK IN THE SUN / MCFLY 

I wonder what it's like to fly so high, or to breathe under the sea. I wonder if some day I'll be good with goodbyes. but I'll be okay if you come along with me. 

( 💌 ) if you went away, would you take me with you?                 L(OSER)OML IS CALLING... 📞

viii. TIGHTROPE / MICHELLE WILLIAMS 

hand in my hand and we promised to never let go. we're walking the tightrope. high in the sky, we can see the whole world down below. we're walking the tightrope. never sure, never know how far we could fall. but it's all an adventure that comes with a breathtaking view. walking the tightrope. 

( 💌 ) are you doing it? are you looking at the stars? aren’t they pretty? next time we can’t sleep, we should go out on your bike somewhere quiet and watch the stars. is that okay? is it too much?                DELIVERED 2:07 AM ✔️

ix. DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF / NATALIE & BEN WOODWARD

don't be so hard on yourself, no. learn to forgive, learn to let go. everyone trips, everyone falls. so don't be so hard on yourself, no. 

( 📞 ) “you always tell me all the shit I went through wasn’t my fault, so when are you going to see that yours wasn’t your fault either? what happened with your family... that’s not on you, cas. just like mine. we both have to learn to be kinder to ourselves. you taught me that.”                 CALL DURATION: 1 HOUR, 37 MINUTES 

x. HERE COMES THE SUN / JACOB COLLIER FEAT. DODIE

little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting. little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear. here comes the sun. here comes the sun, and I say it's all right. 

( 💌 ) my heart skips a beat when you call me sunshine.                SAVE TO DRAFTS? YES

three, daylight.

i. WOULD YOU BE SO KIND / DODIE 

oh would you be so kind, as to fall in love with me, you see, I'm trying. I know you know that I like you, but that's not enough. so if you will, please fall in love. I think it's only fair, there's gotta be some butterflies somewhere. wanna share? 'cause I like you, but that's not enough. so if you will, please fall in love with me.

( 💌 ) when are you going to fall in love with me, huh? asshole...                 DELIVERED 7:18 PM ✔️                PHONE SHUTTING DOWN... ARE YOU SURE? YES 

ii. KISS ME ( LIVE ACOUSTIC ) / THE MACARONS PROJECT 

kiss me out of the bearded barley. nightly, beside the green, green grass. swing, swing, swing the spinning step. you'll wear those shoes and I will wear that dress. 

( 📞 ) “did you really mean it? about my first kiss? you’re sure it’s not weird that I haven’t had it yet? isn’t it corny wanting to wait for the right guy?”                ACCEPT VIDEO CALL? YES 

iii. I DON’T CARE ( ACOUSTIC ) / ED SHEERAN 

'cause I don't care when I'm with my baby, yeah. all the bad things disappear and you're making me feel like maybe I am somebody. I can deal with the bad nights when I'm with my baby, yeah. 

( 📞 ) “well, of course I make you happy. I’m me. but... hearing it makes me happy, too. I was always so trapped, but you make me feel free. it’s good to know that you feel the same.”                CALL DURATION: 57 MINUTES

iv. NEVER SEEN ANYTHING “QUITE LIKE YOU” ( ACOUSTIC ) / THE SCRIPT 

when it's right it's more than right, ‘cause you feel it more than feel. I could take this moment now right into the grave with me. 

( 💌 ) I know we did... basically nothing all day but... today was perfect. more than perfect. thank you ❤️               SWEETER THAN HONEY IS CALLING... 📞

v. ALL MY LOVE / GEORGE EZRA

all my love is yours. all my time is ours. all my reckless dreams and all my restless hours. no matter where you go, baby, I'll be there. no matter where you go, baby, I'll be there, I'll be there.

( 💌 ) so about that summer wedding...                BEACH BABE IS TYPING...

vi. I REALLY LIKE YOU / CARLY RAE JEPSEN

who gave you eyes like that, said you could keep them? I don’t know how to act or if I should be leavin'. I'm running outta time, going outta my mind. I need to tell you something, yeah, I need to tell you something, yeah. I really really really really really really like you, and I want you, do you want me, do you want me too?

( 💌 ) I really!!! like you!!! really like!!! I want to marry you one day kind of like!!! and I don’t know how much longer I can hold it in!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! please kill or kiss me!!! I don’t mind either way!!!!!!!!                SAVE TO DRAFTS? YES

vii. I BELIEVE / JONAS BROTHERS

every night, every day, how about every lifetime? yeah, I know what they say, and that's fine. 'cause I'm here to stay through the good and the bad times. babe, you send me to space and you're mine, yeah. 

( 📞 ) “you and me? forever? you’re sure? you know that means you’re stuck with me, right? no matter what? you definitely want that?”                 CALL DURATION: 2 HOURS, 14 MINUTES

viii. ALL ABOUT YOU / MCFLY 

yesterday you asked me something I thought you knew. so I told you with a smile its all about you. then you whispered in my ear and you told me, too. said you made my life worthwhile, it’s all about you. 

( 📞 ) “why are you laughing? it’s just a question! what if you have other girls you want to spend time with! I m-mean— other friends!”                ACCEPT VIDEO CALL? YES 

ix. ANYWHERE WITH YOU IS HOME / KHS, SAM TSUI & ALYSON STONER 

oh and I'll go wherever the wind blows, just as long as you are by my side. and I'll be wherever this road leads, just as long as you are here tonight. anywhere with you is home.

( 💌 ) you would? you’d take me with you? just say the word. where do you want to go first?                 MR WORLDWIDE 🌍 IS TYPING... 

x. ABSOLUTELY SMITTEN / DODIE 

did you just whisper in her ear? words she only dreamed to hear? pretty lady, look at how he's smiling, I think he likes you! and it's too late, you believe in fate, you're absolutely smitten, you'll never let her go.

“not if I can help it.” it’s the cliche thing to say, as if they’re in a blockbuster action movie with little more plot than whatever allows the directors to get in as many explosions and billion dollar cars as possible. he can’t help but cringe a little once the words leave his mouth, but they’re not dishonest even if they are embarrassing. he will get them out of this sticky situation alive — whatever this showdown even is. he’s not sure he’s even the real target here for the frustrated hydrus members, which is a new experience for him but not all that unpleasant. maybe once upon a time he’d have been insulted, but nowadays, he just wants to get home and nurse a hot cup of tea and cuddle with his boyfriend. 

scanning his surroundings, he spots an alleyway a desperately far twenty foot away and makes a break for it only after tapping the other man’s wrist and exclaiming, “follow me,” just loud enough for him to hear and not their company. he isn’t the fastest runner in the world, nor the stealthiest, but he’s good at hiding in the shadows once they reach the secluded area. a finger to his lips to signal for the other to keep quiet, he peeks out into the street to find themselves alone. hydrus have always been humiliatingly easy to outsmart — at least to him.