Magic Wonders

This past year helping the love of my life confront his depression has been one of the hardest tasks I’ve ever faced, one night of us drinking so much his lips got losses and I’ve never heard him so upset..... talking about how he wanted to die, he didn’t see a point in living anymore, and much more, hearing him talk like that really sobered me up at that moment. Even after that night, he wouldn’t really talk to me about his pain, as much as I would check in on him or thought we were in a good moment…. Only for it to fade away so fast, at times it seemed for no reason. He would hold onto things he wanted to address to me, they always came off so forced?.... rushed?.... I don’t know if I’m even describing it well enough for you all, at times he seems to pick fights for no reason. The last one we got into I had enough and told him I don’t want an apology, I want him to go get help and see someone for his depression. I have also done the same this past week, he saw his doctor 2 weeks before me and has been on some anti-depressed… I too am on some as of this past Friday, it had really helped him with opening up and talking about his feeling more, which is good I hated seeing him hold it all in and eat away at him. I never thought this man would ever look at himself and even think he is not worth anything, that he is a failure, for not being further in life….. I couldn’t understand how he could feel or see that in himself, he still has those moments where he scares me….. He tells me to trust he won’t do anything foolish and I trust him with my whole heart, everything that I am, I trust him with my being…. Please don’t break my heart……

Things are much better for him, his libido has gone up for him like crazy, takes his time to talk to me more about his feeling instead of getting upset…... 7 years now together I never would have thought he would have kept those dark feelings to himself when people say check in on your loves ones I feel hopeless…. I was checking in but he refused to share with me, what if he never shared…. I don’t like to think about all the times he went silent on me… how many times has he come close without me knowing? I’m scared to know or even ask at this point, I don’t want to trigger him…. I’m doing what I can to fill his life with joy and love hoping it will heal him along his journey. Supporting anything that brings him joy, and seeing him happy has always filled me with so much warmth and joy; it was hard to see it fade away. I feel partly to blame for that though he has told me not to blame myself…. It’s kind of hard not to, I know he has forgiven me but I don’t know if I have forgiven myself for even knocking him down far enough that he feels the way he does. And with what happened this past week with Jason frank A.K.A (Tommy Oliver the green ranger) moments leading up to his death (suicide) he had been arguing with his wife, they were going through a divorce and in the midst of their second argument, he locked himself in his hotel room where he then hung himself in the restroom. I have followed that man's career for years and was hoping to meet him someday, you just never know what people are going through alone. he was always smiling, teaching children karate, going to con's.... and so much more. it's why I keep pushing my husband to connect, to talk, and to keep trying to heal. I want to know that he not giving me a fake smile, that he will tell me and reach out when he is near the edge.

On November 18th, 2011, a peaceful protest was held in UC Davis. A branch of “Occupy Wallstreet”, Occupy UC Davis was intended to protest police violence on UC campuses. The police responded by hearing their concerns, agreeing and then pepper-sprayed the protesters. That’s right, they attacked students that were protesting the fact that they attack people. source

If you’re thinking “Oh man, someone got some compensation for this, right!?” Yup. Someone did. The cop. 

The stress of being the poor victim netted him a $38,000 in worker’s comp. 

That’s more than a lot of people make in a full year. source

UC Davis “Investigated” this. And the guy who conducted the investigation was a Police Chief William J. Bratton - Chairman of the private business that provides UC Davis’s security. SOMEHOW there wasn’t enough evidence to charge the officers involved in this incident. source

It just came out that UC Davis has paid $175,000+ to a private “Image Management firm”, who is putting all of that sweet, sweet dollar into manipulating Google’s search engines, as well as other networks, to make it a lot LOT harder to find reminders that this happened. Read that what-proper: 

They’re spending almost $200,000 of school funds to escape being remembered for this awful incident.

source

A spread for when you have a bad feeling about someone that you just can’t shake💣

The Conjuring Arts Research Center

Living in NYC is interesting because you come across places you wouldn’t think exist. The Conjuring Arts Research Center on 30th and 5th ave in Chelsea is an organization that is “dedicated to the preservation and interpretation of magic and its allied arts, which include psychic phenomenon, hypnosis, deceptive gambling, science and history of playing cards, mentalism, ventriloquism, juggling, and sleight of hand techniques.”

LAVENDER LEMONADE

Perfect for Litha and super easy and delicious.

2 lemons

2 spoonfuls of dried lavender flowers

75g sugar

2 c water

I found these ingredients on Pinterest, but this is how I chose to make it:

That design document predated the decision to exclude gay relationships in the game. Its pages described a web of social interactions, in which every kind of romantic relationship was permitted. That week, Barrett confounded the expectations of his disbelieving boss. He successfully wrote the basic code for social interactions, including same-sex relationships. 

“In hindsight, I probably should have questioned the design,” Barrett, who is gay, said. “But the design felt right, so I just implemented it. Later, Will Wright stopped by my desk,” Barrett said. “He told me that liked the social interactions, and that he was glad to see that same-sex support was back in the game.” Nobody on the team questioned Barrett’s work. “They just pretty much ignored it,” he said. “After a while, everyone was just used to the design being there. It was widely expected that E.A. would just kill it, anyway.”

In early 1999, before E.A. had a chance to kill the design, Barrett was asked to create a demo of the game to be shown at E3. The demo would consist of three scenes from the game. These were to be so-called on-rails scenes—not a true, live simulation but one that was preplanned, and which would shake out the same way each time it was played, in order to show the game in its best light. 

One of the scenes was a wedding between two Sims characters. “I had run out of time before E3, and there were so many Sims attending the wedding that I didn’t have time to put them all on rails,” Barrett said.

On the first day of the show, the game’s producers, Kana Ryan and Chris Trottier, watched in disbelief as two of the female Sims attending the virtual wedding leaned in and began to passionately kiss. They had, during the live simulation, fallen in love.