I’m rather a big fan of ice cream. Whether it be soft serve, hard scooped, gelato, sorbet, I will enjoy it no matter the form that it takes. But I do have preferences as to how they are served, and what flavors and toppings that might be in it. These are just my opinions, but know if you disagree you are wrong. And I hope you enjoy being wrong.
I jest.
Maybe.
Either way, I would like to talk about what I believe are the best flavors of ice cream as well as how I must dislike or like certain toppings to go with my ice cream.
Starting off, I shall explain my favorite flavor and way of it being served. I rather enjoy Chocolate Fudge, or Dark Chocolate flavors. I prefer richer, more bitter flavors in honesty. Chocolate itself is such a mix of both bitter and sweet that the flavor just simply sits right with me. I do not mind chocolate bits or bits of thick fudge within the ice cream as I like the small contrast between the two textures, but there are times where I simply will not be in the mood for that. As for how it is served. I prefer gelato over all, but if I did not have that option, I would probably pick soft serve as the texture is nicer on the mouth. Toppings wise, I cannot stand things that have such differing textures from ice cream itself. It’s like an assault on my mouth, I cannot stand it. I do not mind sprinkles or even marshmallows, but I would prefer my ice cream with no toppings other than chocolate shavings or things that melt as you eat them, like the ice cream. Gummy bears and nuts are examples of things I could not stand in my ice cream. However, strangely enough, I do not mind frozen fruits within the ice cream, like how some strawberry ice creams contain frozen strawberry bits. I don’t particularly like ice cream in cones, but I can eat it if it's cake cones. I cannot eat waffle cones. It disgusts me. I prefer ice cream either in a cup or a bowl, something of the sort. It is less of a mess and it is easier to eat in my opinion. I do also enjoy popsicles. Those are easier for me to enjoy, actually. I prefer it over gelato or soft serve ice cream as it is easy to take around and have with me if I ever feel the urge to have some ice cream. One thing I cannot stand is fruit flavored soft serve ice cream. It disgusts me. If ice cream was to be fruit flavored, it should either be a popsicle or a sorbet. There is no other way to go about it. It is not that I do not like fruit flavors, as strawberry ranks on my favorite flavors, but I cannot stand some fruits like mango as a soft serve or gelato. It, again, disgusts me.
Some things I would like to address are arbitrary flavors I have been made aware of or have had my own personal issues with. I’ll start off with Cookie Dough ice cream. I have never liked Cookie Dough, and those who do are wrong. The dough mixed in with the ice cream disgusts me more than you could ever comprehend, it is not a joking matter. I hate the contrast between the two, it makes me physically sick. I do not mind the chocolate chips or the base vanilla flavor, but I seriously cannot stand it all together. Another flavor I heavily dislike is Rocky Road. Rocky Road is a flavor for those who enjoy the mixture of textures assaulting their mouth. Nuts and Marshmallows mixed together disgusts me. Truly. You have one creamy, one thick and fluffy, and one hard texture. That mix makes me gag just thinking about it. I cannot stand Rocky Road. If you eat that around me, I will assume you hate either me or yourself.
One more that I have heard of that I personally find as a transgression against me is Butter Pecan. It is a little better than Rocky Road, but it has the same issue as it has roasted pecans within it. It is disgusting, do not eat it around me. As for ice cream flavors made based on other food such as pasta, pizza, lobster, or anything else, like baked beans, I hope you suffer eternal hell for enjoying those flavors. One flavor that I did not hear about until recently, that I am rather upset about, was called ‘Goody Goody Gumdrops’ or something of the sort. The bubblegum flavor? Mixed with gummies? The color being green? I could not be tempted with even a gargoyle to eat something as vile as that. I apologize to the person I know who mentioned it who knows and or likes it, but you are vile for even showing that to anyone. Another flavor I never understood was the flavor ‘Superman’ . It is apparently a mix of fruit and vanilla flavors but I cannot stand it. It is stupid, be creative. The same goes for the Cookie Monster ice cream flavor.
I understand that this is not a gargoyle rant but a conversation I had been told of by a friend had encouraged me to make this, and I wanted to be completely transparent as to what ice cream I do and do not enjoy, as I rather enjoy ice cream a lot. Thank you.
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