Stars...can't do it. Not today.

how the absolute FUCK am i supposed to live long and prosper in these conditions

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

Remember when you could look things up online. Do you remember how we used to search

I can't watch a television show until a demon possesses me and compels me to do it

people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now

The older this post gets the funnier it becomes

My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.

that’s how fucked up our world is now

Happy Moon Landing Day! ❤️👩‍🚀🌛

apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

the procrastinator’s mind will invent distractions you’ve never conceived of in order to avoid tasks even a dog could do.