Maladaptive Daydreamer

beautiful women will be like “i baked a cake” and you will say “oh ? what flavour is it” and they say well its a honey rosewater apricot pistachio cardamom vanilla fig jam earl grey poppyseed orange blossom extra virgin olive oil chiffon sponge soaked in raspberry elderflower champagne lipgloss pomegranate matcha ginger blueberry cherry blossom magnolia petal almond passionfruit persimmon syrup with whipped amalfi lemon limoncello ricotta goats cheese honeycomb black pepper bergamot lemon thyme lemon balm rosemary chantilly whipped cream cream cheese feta cheese italian meringue frosting . like ok. i want to spend the rest of my afternoons walking around inside your beautiful mind like a garden

sexual knifeplay is indicative of weak character. I could never get aroused from being stabbed because that would mean that I failed to parry it

I’m going to perform medical malpractice on you cuz I love you

?????????????????????

Never forget

Absolutely love this post. Think of it every time I use a wooden spoon

Girldick this, boydick that, I’m hunting MOBY Dick

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.

everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.

I love how safe everyone in the comments feels about being entirely dependant on a potentially psychopathic benefactor 😁

im nice…..

He’s literally nice

we studied this post in my english lit course

the catholic church just called and said the 7 deadly sins are now gooning, price gouging, FOMO, binge watching, ragebait, mukbangs, and reaction videos with just someone in the corner pointing at the content and nodding along

bought a big black umbrella recently and now every time i use it i think about "thought the cunt was turning into a bat"

hey everyone my tummy hurts but please don't cry too hard for me. a few tears are fine though.

its always scary to me how you can just do anything like i could spend the last of my money right now to ride a train for 3 hours and then just be stuck out there and walk around until i die of exhaustion