🐝💖🐝

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

˙ʇɐqʇᴉnɹɟ ɐ ǝɯoɔǝq oʇ pǝpᴉɔǝp ǝʌ,I

Anon bb come back i can change for you

im always up at ass o clock doing god knows what

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

oh this is my post

the king has abruptly fired 60% of his wizard staff, so he’s about to be abruptly surprised at who floated 100% of his formerly floating sky castle

I heard they're planning to maintain their levitation rites with autonomous constructs from now on, saying wizards are going to be totally obsolete within the season... so, ah, I'd invest in falling island insurance.

They put a little garnish on food in pictures and on cooking shows because most food is pretty ugly actually

My spicy soup with cheese is absolutely delicious but if you photograph that thing it looks like some kind of vomit

There’s a reason that they pay people to move individual pieces of spaghetti around with tweezers

Listening and nodding sympathetically: I dunno dude sounds like you should kill gorm

i should kill gorm

the other day a friend of a friend referred to "busting out of your abdomen like the alien from the Predator films" and I was completely caught off guard. like I guess that's - that's not wrong. the alien was. okay she was in the Predator films. well some of them. but like. she had her own. she's the alien from the Alien films. like. they have her name on them. he's not "King Kong from the Godzilla films"

there's also a reason it's not called an "abdomenburster" but one issue at a time

it's like when headlines refer to a famous woman via her husband. that's not "Predator's wife" she's got her own franchise!!

the fresno nightcrawlers

what's the dewey decimal number for foreskin. coward

prostrating myself at your feet for my lack of composure thank you for your wisdom