Eggcelent Blog

girls love him for his poor posture and pathetic demeanor

geologists talking about shield volcanoes

i love you. this post is only about shield volcanoes 🌋 now. everyone else fuck of❌

can i sit under your desk and chew on the wires? 🥺👉👈

movies peaked when sets had unmoving painted skies and rocks carved out of styrofoam

Absolute fuck machine

i’m going to write an among us fan fiction completely in voice to text while i take a bath

and i won’t delete anything. here goes

it was a sleepy morning on the among us ship. It wasn’t really morning because they were in space but it felt like morning because all the little crewmates were waking up. What they didn’t know is that there was an imposter among them. They didn’t know which one of them was the imposter until they got a message from ground control telling the little astronaut boys that there is an imposter among them. Ground control warned them that the imposter is gay and if it sees the other among us crewmates and decides to capture and kill them it will either kill them or make them gay with a gay kids. This was scary to the crewmates because they all had wives and children at home. Crewmates reproduce exactly like lizards. In every way. One of the crew mates was about to call a meeting emergency meeting to discuss this matter when suddenly tragedy struck. they were scared that a gay kiss on the lips would turn them gay or kill them so scared that they didn’t notice that the oxygen on the shit was about to be depleted. Two little crewmates ran to fill the oxygen back up and do their tasks. They ran down the hall with their little feet pitter patter on the linoleum spaceship for. It was white and orange. The color of a Creamsicle combined. Secretly these two crewmates have had gay sex but both of them are married with wives and on the down low. They trust each other. Tragedy struck when read who is secretly the imposter came and he shot both of them in the back of the head with a normal gun like what people use. This was very scary. Surely the imposter would kill again. End of part one

stop asking me for part two because part two is and orgy and i cant say it out loud my step dad craig will catch me

WOW THIS ONE IS TOO CLOSE