Anxiety Filled Bisexual

just found out today that moths can make their genitals vibrate to throw off a bat’s sonar

we can too you’re just not skilled yet

Me helicoptering my dick so the cops can’t triangulate my cellphone signal

I’m such a “nah I got it” and suffer in silence type of person.

coherent people are the worst..like stop making sense for one fucking second. say some nonsense every once in a while. literally so boring if i can understand every word you say like shut up or say some dumb shit i swear to god

Fuck a book. Fuck an essay. Fuck an university. From now on the only thing that makes u smart is making a beautiful large loaf of bread and ONLY that!!!!!!!!!!

This completely destroyed me I can’t stop laughing

it’s past fucking midnight and my grandmother got up and keeps loudly tearing paper right next to my room

by the way the reason there’s paper tearing is because she reads books by fucking tearing them apart page by page as she moves through them instead of just flipping the pages like a normal human

Sometimes I forget not every girl is bi, like some girls will see a beautiful woman and still be able to breathe just fine? Unrealistic. Blocked.

People are sending me kale recipes like they honestly believe I will try to eat bird food

I’m sorry I’m hung up on the part where op owns peacocks

OP Tell them I love them!

Are they good guard birds?

I saw a post on here the other day about how sexy it is when women wear their keys on a belt loop and I just have to say that the things lesbians find hot are so fucking funny. Like, “oh, fuck, that’s convenient.”