Absurdity Is The Source Of Awesomeness

I have not posted this one here? How have I not posted this one here, yet? I posted it during inktober last year on instagram but shamefully not here, it seems. Ah, well... it fits pride month. Hooray to all you bisexuals (and aces, because we know how Kal is...) out there! Sandra has something for you, too!

Young, handsome people on a daring mission. Will they find their way through a besieged city and a dark strange world (and into each other‘s heart)?

We lovingly refer to October 10th as „Shakadolin Day,“ as it’s the six-year anniversary of Brandon tweeting „I could see a world where Shallan and Adolin would go for it, but Kaladin is as prudish as I am, so I doubt you’d persuade him. 🙂 For now, we’ll have to leave that to the imaginations of the fanfic writers.“ 

Prompting many to ask „Wait, is this confirmation that Adolin is Bi?,“ „So Kaladin’s obstacle is his prudishness, not his orientation?,“ and „What do you mean ‚for now‘???“

And in Sandra’s series being prudish is just a challenge not an obstacle 😉

Cheers to all of you! And extra cheers as always to the amazing @priscellie who created the beautiful cover mock up with my illustration 🩷🩷🩷 ID by the wonderful @cosmereplay with additions by me

look inside

Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...

what adventure games softlock you like that?

Not that I'm blaming you or anything. Probably a coincidence.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

I pulled some stories from my texting and social media lists, so if you see duplicates, that is why.

Hollanov Coded Fics

🏒 English Lessons with Ilya | 1.1k

In which Ilya Rozanov self-appoints himself the official unofficial English tutor to one very confused Luca Haas

🏒 Party Planning | 1.2k

Zane Boodram tries to plan his next barbecue. Ilya Rozanov refuses to let anyone know peace. Shane suffers in silence (mostly).

🏒 Fairy Godfather | 1.5k

Ilya is determined to buy the Pike children's love

🏒 Where Is Shane Hollander? | 1.6k

Shane Hollander is missing. He never made it to the cottage, and no one knows why.

🏒 I Loved Meeting You | 1.6k

Shane Hollander covers the Ottawa Centaurs with a discipline that borders on devotion. He was meant to be on the ice himself until his childhood best friend died and hockey became something he could only endure from the outside. When superstar Ilya Rozanov is suddenly traded from Boston to Ottawa, Shane can hardly breathe around the news. He will do whatever it takes to become Ilya’s assigned reporter, to earn proximity, to recover the career he lost and the man he has studied for years as if admiration could substitute for touch

🏒 Shane Hollander, #1 | 1.7k

🔒Nobody had ever not described Shane Hollander as competitive. And certainly nobody who knew him had laughed at the idea that he was possessive about his husband. Shane grinned, and clicked on the stupid Twitter tag

🏒 You’re Giving Me Gray Hairs | 1.8k

the young Centaurs players have made it a goal in life to stress Ilya and Shane out at all times.

🏒 No Angry Kitten | 2.1k

ilya sends shane yet another picture of an angry kitten. (a texting & social media fic)

🏒 Kiss Me Thru the Phone | 2.2k

As told through a series of texts, memes, and very bad attempts at flirting while trying to be casual.

🏒 Ilya vs Omegaverse | 2.2k

Ilya discovers the omegaverse and makes the idea of a pregnant Shane everyone's problem

🏒 #RedditGate | 2.3k

In which Shane Hollander's Reddit account is discovered by a Twitter user and sub-sequentially Ilya Rozanov's account is found by association

🏒 #Hacked | 2.7k

The Official Ottawa Centaurs account gets hacked

🏒 You Will Never Escape Me | 2.8k

Surely Ilya Rozanov knows how to behave in groupchats with his peers and colleagues

🏒 Ilya’s Ipad Baby | 2.8k

Ilya is an online menace much to everyone's dismay

🏒 Like for Like | 3.1k

A nostalgic what-if where, instead of meeting at the World Junior Hockey Championships in 2008, Shane and Ilya meet a full year earlier - in a hockey group on Facebook. (Part 2)

🏒 One Mane Advice Column | 3.2k

a childless Ilya Rozanov is somehow the go to guy for everyone's parenting advice needs

🏒 Shane Hollander vs. the Power of Friendship | 3.4k

Shane gets added to the Ottawa Centaurs WAG group chat and gets the support network he didn't know he needed.

🏒 Kissgate | 3.5k

Twitter is thrown into chaos when a FanMail video leaks showing Ilya and Shane in a passionate embrace

🏒 Timeline Debates | 3.6k

A few months after Shane and Ilya’s relationship is revealed, Twitter begins to speculate about the timeline of it all. Ilya fans the flames.

🏒 In Good Company | 3.7k

The first few days after Shane and Ilya are outed, as told by group chats and social media

🏒 Ilya Rozanov vs The Power of Love | 4.0k

Ilya gets added to the Ottawa WAGs group chat.

🏒 Trending #Hollanovorce | 4.0k

The online discourse around Hollanov spans a wide range of people, places, and topics. But there is always one constant.#HOLLANOVORCE just will not stop trending.

🏒 Lily & Jane Take Over Twitter | 4.6k

The hockey twitter world explodes when a new Shane fan account under the name "Lily" pops up. And all she tweets about is how bad she wants to fuck Shane Hollander.

🏒 Mixed Messages | 4.7k

Hayden finds out about Ilya and Shane

🏒 Mistakes Have Been Made | 4.8k

Ilya gives Troy Shane’s number.

🏒 I Collapse Into Your Arms | 6.1k

A timeline of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov's rise into the NHL and their relationship told through the lens of hockey stan twitter.

🏒The Friendships We Made (and Ruined) Along the Way | 6.3k

Jackie and Shane trick Hayden and Ilya to bond over planning for Shane’s birthday (My summary)

🏒 hi shane, is this still available? | 6.6k

While in search of a roommate, Ilya comes across an interesting Facebook Marketplace listing from Shane Hollander

🏒 Cheer Up, Hayden Pike | 7.1k

Hayden Pike finally realizes he never actually double-checked any of his videos

🏒 Clickbait | 8.4k

Sequel to Like for Like, an AU where, instead of meeting at the World Junior Hockey Championships in 2008, Shane and Ilya meet a full year earlier - in a hockey group on Facebook. (Part 1)

🏒 Ain't No Hollaback Girl | 10.2k

Shane and Ilya, unbeknownst to each other, are sexting on Grindr while still being rivals on the ice.

🏒 Shane Hollander : Most Wanted | 10.3k

Set after Shane comes out to his team. Now that more and more people find out he is gay, he is also getting a lot more male attention. Meanwhile Ilya gets progressively more jealous and wants to remind everyone exactly who Shane Hollander belongs to. Also they're idiots in love

🏒 Nice Men in Montreal | 10.7k

Shane makes a list: reasons to Come Out on one side and to Stay Safe on the other. It's definitely not meant to accidentally star in the background of his mom's Instagram post for fans to find. But now that the world knows, maybe Shane can finally let himself have everything he's wanted. If only Ilya didn't go out and get engaged the next day. Which is fine! Rozanov was settling down? Shane could settle down, too. He would find himself a nice man

🏒 Let's Get Physical | 11.0k

Midway through the fall semester, Ilya takes a bad hit and is taken off the ice during the game. Shane comes up with an unorthodox solution to fulfill Ilya's physical needs while he recovers, and Shane's academic needs for extra credit.

🏒 Jane Has Been Added to the Chat | 11.5k

Shane takes his revenge for all of Ilya's embarrassing thirst tweets.

🏒 Lily My Friend | 14.4k

Hayden gets unwittingly roped into a business partnership with Shane’s secret girl Lily behind Shane’s back but at least he gets a kind of cool friend out of it… even if she is oddly reluctant to call them that

🏒 @ LilyHollander24 Liked Your Tweet | 16.4k

What's a girl to do on a lonely night in Boston? Make a burner account to stan "her" secret boyfriend publicly, no holds barred

🏒 Roz's Mystery Girl | 17.8k

'Jane' gets added to the Centaurs WAG groupchat, after Wyatt notices Roz wearing a ring...

🏒 You’ve Got Mail | 24.3k

While trying to write to his friend studying abroad in Moscow, Shane Hollander accidentally reaches Ilya Rozanov

🏒Oh My God You Should See Your Faces | 28.1k

Shane and Ilya go on the press run to end all press runs, courtesy of Yuna Hollander

🏒Re: Hi | 60.1k

Shane and Ilya sending emails throughout the years. What happens when they meet?

🏒 Operation O Canada, or The Hollander-Rozanov Method of Soft Launching a Marriage | 118k

In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era

🏒 Texting Trends | WIP

A series of texting trends the Centaurs do on Ilya, who in returns has to do on Shane. Because everything is about Shane

🏒 User Error | WIP

a Grindr AU

🏒 Take Me to Church | WIP

in which Ilya texts the wrong number and starts chatting with Shane, who is convinced that he can save Ilya with God's love

🏒 Shane Hollander Doesn't Understand Hazing | WIP

Shane Hollander becomes Captain of the Metros, Ilya officially hates Hayden Pike, and there’s new “girl” coming to the Montreal Met-Hoes chat

🏒 Date or Not Date: SMAU

🏒 Shane & Ilya: A Dating Simulator

shane stumbling into the living room half asleep: why is scarface on

ilya, holding a baby upright like she pays rent here: she likes it

“FOR THE BABY?!”

“shh, watch. club massacre scene comes on and her little eyelids get sooo heavy. is like magic.”

“ILYA.”

---

ilya bouncing a half-asleep baby at 3am like “listen carefully, malyshka. americans say they landed on moon. this is lie. filmed in hollywood basement. very embarrassing for them actually.”

(the baby is eating its own hand): goo goo gaga gaga

“exactly. all a bunch of goo goo gaga. RUSSIA was first in space. first satellite. first man. first dog. we would have gotten moon too if we did not have, how you say, Problems.”

shane from across the room: babe i really don’t think we need to start geopolitical propaganda before she can hold her own head up

“silence. baby must know truth.”

“When he died the ravens sat in the trees outside for a week, watching. Taking turns. A horde of raccoons tried to break into the house every night, tearing at the siding. Eventually they gave up, but it was unsettling.”

are we the baddies: SFF subgenre focused on agents of an imperial power realizing that and grappling with what to do next, in contrast to stories focusing on the scrappy rebels resisting said imperial power

I could fix him (the empire): SFF subgenre where the colonized subject being nice and/or sexy enough Ends Colonialism, frequently tied to the John President of Racism problem

librarian bait: books centered on the transformative life-changing power of books and libraries, cousin to books focused on the transformative life-changing power of storytelling and narrative in general

college brochure fiction: stories where the protagonist has an artfully arranged group of diverse friends who are as flat as paper and whose cultural backgrounds never come up meaningfully

It hails from an immortal tumblr post by penultimate-step, except not immortal apparently because I get 'not found' when I try to go back to the original. So here's the text: