This one time I was going grocery shopping and I ended up buying a slice of carrot cake as a little treat for myself and I ate it in my car in the store parking lot. But I failed to remember that, oh yeah, eating cake makes you thirsty and I didn't have anything in the car to drink except the gallon of milk I had just purchased. So I opened it and started drinking straight from the gallon with the frenzied desperation of a newborn calf.
As I'm consuming my dairy ambrosia, a man pushing his cart back to his car seems to notice my movement in his peripheral and turns around to make direct eye contact with me as I'm sitting there in the grocery store parking lot absolutely horking down milk straight from the gallon. We stare at each other for a solid five seconds. He starts walking to his car faster. I haven't been to that grocery store since.
