Get that Lich a phylactery liches love phylacterys

you fucking suck at burger

Ezcuse me ladies everything you just said about wile e coyote being a cocksucking faggot and being passed around at college parties and sucking his husbands cock and cruising at home depot has been echoed and amplified out your open ground floor window to our leasing office where we are discussing not renew8ng your lease when its up and we all have heard everything you just said

I love browsing cover-up tattoo stuff when every once in a while there's someone asking "how do I cover up this unspeakably idiotic thing" and people are like "please do not cover that up, that's fucking amazing." You just have "shrimps is bugs" written on your leg now. That's your legacy.

Have you seen that one weasel tattoo that someone was asking coverup advice for? One of the best tattoos I've seen.

It's so fucking beautiful I'm in tears. Laughing so hard I'm crying but what difference is that really.

the mystery bruises you're getting aren't from anemia or something stupid like that. they're from me. i go into your house while you're asleep and softly hit you with hammers until i am satisfied