GOT MY BLOOD STOLEN BY BIG PHARMA

girlfriend (nonbinary)

there was a cloud shaped like bart simpson in 1852 and nobody recognized it

there was a cloud shaped like lois griffin in 1344 china and everyone recognized her immediately

turn around and drive 581 miles in the opposite direction to see bucee. fuck you

When the world is cruel and unwelcoming, press ZL to turn into a squid

He's beautiful

$39.99

✔️ 39.99

i need akinator.com for diseases and viruses and infections that affect the respiratory system and otherwise

Accidentally made the mistake of looking towards the sun while diving underwater. I was met with the most beautiful sight in the whole world, I fear. It was a mistake because I am but an air breathing creature and no amount of diving will ever satisfy my need to bask in the light refractions and see the fluid ceiling above my head waltz with the sun and the sky.

"I love you but you're doing wrong in a way I cannot condone" and "I hate you but you're being wronged in a way I cannot stomach" are top tier and I need more of them.

concealing a terrible wound not out of pride, necessity, or even a guilty lack of self-worth, but for the simple pleasure of knowing something that nobody else does

Went to the penis store to see what they had. Shouldn’t have gone to the penis store.

What did they have?

Aisles and aisles of the stuff

Weird how “masturbating and falling asleep in the late afternoon” isn’t regarded as a cherished summertime tradition

every sunday afternoon this gets like 4,000 additional notes