chlorophyll kid

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

Every single note and comment is comedy gold and I'm wheezing from laughing so hard

aye can i get uh………ingredients on my burger

beetroot?

you want beetroot?

you want fucking beet root?

ingredience

this post feels exactly like a conversation you would witness in a dream and think was completely normal and then wake up and think “what the fuck?” for a single millisecond and then immediately forget about completely

Trans guy named William whos deadname is Penny

They said I was only a penny 🪙.... I said I'ma keep it 💯... and gave them a Bill 💸

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

Fuck the haters. I believe in you

“well. plays the cards i’m given” has profoundly changed something in me. litany against wallowing in an unsatisfactory situation

Shaggy Rogers is a young adult human man that eats dog treats and his friends don't even care. They act like it's normal. Not only do they know he loves eating dog treats, but they know he'll do scary dangerous shit just to eat dog treats, and they use that to their advantage. "Oh you don't wanna get asbestos poisoning in the scary abandoned building? What if we fed you a dog treat?" And he says yes and he does it and eats it and they act like that's a normal thing for a human guy to do. But then again, he also eats 10 feet tall sandwiches in one bite, so maybe he's not even human. Still fucked up that they manipulate him like that though. But whatever. Forget I said anything.

at the point and click adventure club straight up unsure what to do next

Goin' up to a girl like "She doesn't want to talk to me right now. She doesn't want to- She doe- She doesn't want to talk to me right no- That's the bartender, but I think I've had enough for toni- I can't leave, the party's just getting started!"