small and bitter like a shot of espresso

hgfxdesyu5i6r7touih;obvgjcfesyudfiuygbj

real friendship is sending them a link to something terrible so you can both be traumatized at the same time

Ain’t no law in space boi

where! has! my! passion! gone! I had it abundantly when I was a child, and I must have dropped it along the way, but I cannot figure where!

oh hey folks fun update, i found my passion again? i just had to find my right outlet, get to a place where I have aspirations, dispel apathy and pursue what I love, it’s all good and swell!

reblog this to find the right outlet, get to a place where you have aspirations, dispel apathy and pursue what you love, and rediscover your passion.

My real life therapist: Okay, before we start, I found this hilarious video I know you’d love.

my old therapist: oh SHIT wait look at this, i got it off amazon! *reaches into her purse and whips out a fidget spinner* it GLOWS in the DARK.

i told my therapist once that i played minecraft on peaceful mode to calm myself down and she told me “you need to try putting your brain on peaceful mode”

can the guy who brought it in let me raw him

I need it.

yes

why do teenage boys go through that phase where they just imitate female moaning noises

it’s the only way they can hear it

every bisexual who reblogged this feels specifically individually targeted by this post

You better say that.

Sorry if this isn’t the right place but I felt like its important to add, this is the most real shit I have seen on my dash in a while. After I got my license I drove everywhere, constantly picked up my friends and really just drove like a maniac making dumb decisions left and right. Now one of my best friends is a WoC and I helped her get her license and I always told her ‘9mph over the speed limit and the ticket gets thrown out in court’ because that is what I’d been taught. One day she was driving and I mentioned that to her and she kept insisting that it was 5mph. It took me YEARS to realize PoC can’t afford that extra 4mph!!!!!!!!! White teenagers are the dumbest group on the planet, please don’t let them talk you into their dumb shit!

Conversely: White people, don’t get your black friends into trouble. What is just dicking around to you is a potential death sentence to them. If you are any kind of friend, you won’t put them in that kinds of harm’s way.

Important addition

I went to see Bo Burnham’s new live show and I brought my cat with me because, idk, it seemed like a good idea? So Bo was doing his comedy thing and all was good until he stopped mid-song and yelled to “put the lights up!” The audience was all. “Haha, okay maybe this is just part of his act,” but then he singled me out and asked, “Is that a cat in your lap?” I had no choice but to answer that it was because it was obvious and I was not going to LIE, everyone can see that it is a cat. It turned out that my cat had been sneaking off to Bo Burnham’s house every now and then and he thought it was a stray and he had gotten kinda attached so now Bo and I co-owned a cat together.

I am SO dissapointed this is a dream and not a real thing

😂😂😂