I only like tomatoes when on a sandwich

im a transgender athlete and my sport is fucking both your parents separately on the same night. i know the odds are always in my favor because of my natural aptitude and it's not fair to you but that's why i do it

Do you ever get a wave of nostalgia for a hyperfixation that’s never coming back with the same sort of melancholy with which you mourn a lost childhood friend

Like “you consumed my every waking moment for six entire months, and now I haven’t thought about you in years…I miss that passion”

Giant isopods are so cool but what’s with the sexy funk music

most sexual motherfucker in the ocean. 

not to be a communist on main but these are literally the modes of alienation under capitalism that marx described

PLEASE be a communist on my posts its literally capitalism thats making me feel this way

if you’re not vaccinated i will NOT look at your pussy

Remember being like eleven years old and just filled with primordial rage. I think I could have killed a man with my bare hands when I was eleven. What was up with that

naruto self insert fic im a social worker and i kill the third hokage with my bare hands and make sure all these children graduate high school

#if my therapist had one of these bad boys in his office he could unlock a spectrum of mental disorders only perceptible to shrimp

Epic Win! found a loose ibuprofen in my pocket