where is the rat

yeah I'm an airship mechanic. I got that big ass wrench and the boots that are too big, but also, and this is important, goggles I do not use correctly

classic forehead protector goggles

this is like in the wizard of oz books when Dorothy realizes that every animal-- even animals from the regular world-- can talk when they're in Oz. so she's like, "Toto, look, I just want to know if you can talk. Why don't you talk?? You should be able to talk here, do you want to talk??" and Toto just says "no" and never talks again. all like fifteen books he can talk and chooses not to except to let Dorothy know that he can talk, and simply doesn't want to. iconic

just overheard my dad on the phone going “yeah, i’d be more than happy to buy her daughter off of you, how much would you be willing to trade her for?” and got Very Worried for a second before remembering that he manages dairy farms for a living. surely there’s gotta be a better way to word that man

Happy 10 year anniversary to this absolutely foundational post

#really cannot emphasize enough how much iguanamouth changed the site’s sense of humor and therefore the timeline of the western world

Someone is eating a fresh orange in this McDonald's. I smelled it and my head snapped up like a hunting dog. That smell doesn't belong in this wicked place

so are all the christians gone yet or is this going to be an afternoon rapture

it happened but the only true christian on earth was a green-breasted hummingbird. he will be dearly missed by his friends and family who assumed he was eaten by an outdoor cat, but other than that, life remains unchanged

You can add it as an extension to Firefox now: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/udm14/reviews/

i am not autistic i'm not!!! *my telekinesis stacks all objects present in the room*

The thing is sometimes you really do have to chuckle darkly