Toelpel @ Home

Got my drivers license.

And saw lots of cool flowers. Also 3 crows and 2 pheasants

Yesterday something strange went down.

It is Sunday, around 10:30am. I am planning my Monday, and I am stressing a lot, 4 big appointments and 2 of them are overlapping. Each is equally important. While doing all of this, my stomach is starting to scream, and because of this my stress goes from "I can handle it" to full crashdown panic mode. Pain is an excellent catalyst. By accident, I take my anxiety medication instead of my painkillers. The panic wants to move out of the disco so I sprint to the bathroom, there I realised my mistake. With the magic of buying two of them, I immediatly top myself off with the correct pills.

Time moves too slow while my instestines stab me with the force of 74 tiny dwarfes who really want to build that wall and smash me with it)

Then, *poof* NO PAIN?!!!!!!! HUH?!!!!!!! (context: my pain medication is not the addicting / strong kind, it "only" pushes my pain usually from an 6-7/10 down to a 3-5/10 If I am lucky.) but at that moment my pain went from an 7 down to a 1!!!!!!!!!!

Gut-Brain Axis is so interesting

If you dear reader, also have stomach pains / issues / flare ups since like forever without any clear patterns causing them, and you have tried lots of things without them working, you should ask your doctor if anxiety meds could help you. In my specific edge case they helped a lot.

I love them both so much. They are the exact right kind of crazy.

We watched phm together, had BBQ, And played two new boardgames.

I wish I would have more skill talking with people in general, I like to listen to their stories, and life in between, including ALL the boring bits and pieces.

My friends > Some rando content creator.

This is how we said goodbye to each other + the arm scratchy thing from rockys language.

Song list:

Darkside - skydxddy

Solace - Good F**king music

Droeloe - Only be me

DAT ADAM - DFA

But sneezing?!!!!!!! Now my neck and my right shoulder hurt in a moderate pain. By sneezing while holding something in my left hand?!!

That is a new one. Next time before sneezing I will do a 3min warmup.

This is Merlin, he is a chill cat from my neighbours, we are friends until he kills a blackbird, until then he is allowed of smacking plants and trees, and eating bugs.

Next week is my drivers Test, after my lesson today It hit me with the full force of twenty two trains.

After that test - I will probably never speak with my driving instructor again. We vibe with each other, and also like each other, but all of that is based on her job.

She can be as flexible and as ridgit as she feels like it with her work schedule. This schedule is the reason why it is easier for her to stay in "contact" I pay to learn to drive and to hang out with a friend.

The longer she got to know me, the longer I also got to know her.

After hitting my goal we both move on.

She knew that beforehand.

I just learned it now.

I will still live on in her memories as "That guy that did art with birds" or something similar.

~read this with the voice of zeFrank~ And that is how the drivers teacher do.

Good movie. 7/10 (might revisit this rating later) If you havent watched it, do it if youre able to.

One friend of mine, I met her through another friend, she is really into Space, she might also love this movie. I will ask her on the weekend.

Also, I am meeting up with her and her boyfriend this weekend, and I am really looking forward to it. I miss them both, normally we meet every other weekend to play boardgames, but me working towards my drivers licence, and them being busy with uni and work... It made meeting up more difficult.

3 people read my cards, the first 2 just straight up trash but the 3rd reading?!

@blog-from-bed Today I finally saw (and took a picture) my beaver friend. The water of the stream was so still today, I could still track that beaver after he dove down, just by the ripples alone. It was so cool 😎.

Current animals I really like, in random order: Black bird, Crows, Beavers, Cats, dogs (some of them), rats, turtles, pigeons.

Besides me watching this "live stream" I also had an psych appointment. It went something between well, and okayish. Also I got officially diagnosed with IBS, followed by, "we are leading the research, but to be totally honest, we dont have a clue what exactly is wrong"

I mean, I dont like it. But honesty is better than false promises.

[Theoretical problem]: It is dark in my room

[Me]: Finding the safest way to lit a fire in my room

[Person B]: Why didnt you use the lightswitch?

My arms and hands + Body is still very unreliable. I try to work with it.

Still working on getting my drivers license, my expected timeframe is longer, around double of what I originally planned. My poor savings :,(

In a few weeks, I also will get tested for food allergies / intolerances again. Starving myself just to be a barely functioning human is not something sustainable, and I want to build something sustainable for me.

We have beavers in my area, I like them. Today I went on a little stroll with my sister and my dad to see if we can actually see the beavers. (without disturbing them) I have no clue about how they build their homes so I looked it up. In german, it is called a "Bieberburg" I found it very interesting, so I told my sister about it. She looked at her phone, but responded like she was listening to me.

FKING TWO MINUTES LATER, SHE SAID TO ME "Hey do you know that the beaver home is called a Bieberburg, I just read about it"

[me]: Its interesting, I know, I told you two minutes ago.

[L]: No I would have remembered that. I have just learned this fact from reading this article

AND THEN WAS REALLY FKING DEFENSIVE ABOUT IT AHHHHHHH.

I wish I could filter other talking people, but I am always listening. It seems my sister is able to do that a lot better.

vent over.