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@luca-interlude
Let me introduce myself
My name is Luca/L and this is my personal Reblog/Ramble/Vent account
If you know me from anywhere else
No, you don't

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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âhello i relly enjoy your ff recs and reviews âŁïž i was wondering if you have any hybrid jk ff to rec?? (literally any type of animal is fine) i really like the concept but tbh i love like more dark tone ones where jungkook isnt acting like a baby n stuff... mostly they are all just the same and just fluffy etc and i dont really go with that, it feels like every single hybrid au is the same at this point :/
âtbh i have so much trouble with finding fics lately and im really frustrated by the fact that most fics here on tumblr are mostly ai one shots that have so much likes just cause they contain only smut?? like there is sooo many writers that dont get the recognition they deserve and they actually wrote it by themself i hate it tbh. I do like reading smut ofc but if it only contains that its just boring. the tension is the best part and you can acctualyy see when someone is writing by themself and really know the emotional side compared to those ai ones :/ and real people have better humor imo... idk i wonder what do you think about it??
âsorry for this long ass ask askdhjfhg thank u sm!!
Hybrid au ~ Jeon Jungkook
‷ ăA Beast and a Bracelet by @beautifulpaprika | Beast!jk x reader
‷ ăBonded by @borathae | Alpha!Jungkook x f. omega!Reader ËËË
‷ ăYou kept the Rose by @minalous | Vampire!Jungkook x Reader
‷ ăBloodlines entwined by @spideyjimin | Werewolf!jungkook x female reader ËËË
‷ ăMoonstruck by @jeonsweetpea | Werewolf & Vampire Hybrid!AU, Supernatural!AU | Hybrid!Jungkook x Hybrid!Reader | Werewolf!Taehyung x Hybrid!Reader ËËË
‷ ăBewitching by @taegularities | Vampire!au ËËË
‷ ăBlessed With A Curse by @sweetestofchaos | Werewolf!Jungkook x Hybrid!Reader ËËË
‷ ăTo tame a God by @jeonstudios | Wolf au, alpha!JK ËËË
‷ ăLisp by @aquagustd | Snake hybrid!jungkook ËËË
‷ ăThis Mortal Coil by @jinfizz | Alpha!Jungkook x Unspecified Wolf!Reader ËËË
â§âËđïžback to jungkook library đ
â§âËđïžback to the library đ
ahhhhh, hala dear. oh yesh i did a search and only rabbit shows. i haven't read much in this au, few only, so this list for you and me. happy reading. even im tired of ai fics, like why why would you do that.
thank you for reading my reviews âĄ
you're crying after a guy bothers you... and your boyfriend isn't about to let it slide.
bleehhh can't sleep and i made up this scenario w fratkuna sooooooooocontains college au frat!ryomen sukuna x midsize!fem!reader; themes of harrassment (the culprit is naoya bc i saw his ass in the mangađ), ryo is like ur knight but not in the toxic alpha male way ew & he punches a guy, & i'm using the hcs that toji, choso, & geto are all in a frat with him + the gojo twins are present (honorable mentions for twins satoshi "fratjo" gojo and satoru nerdjođ«¶) and everyone goes to 'tokyo college of jujutsu tech', and dw it turns into fluff n comfortâbtw this is noooottt proofread
"girl, you're really cute."
another nervous giggle, playing with a lock of your hair. jesus christ, you just wanted to get out of that fucking western poetry class.
you'd only taken the class because you needed a humanities elective, and it had looked interesting! unfortunately for you, though, every guy who thought they were a major philosopher and the next unbiological love child of nietzsche had also taken the class! and sadly, you had caught the attention of one of those guysânaoya zenin, one of the dean's relatives.
he was toji's cousin, you knew, and toji was your boyfriend's frat brother... so maybe you were fine? you tried to convince yourself you were as you sped walked out the door, naoya hot on your trail with a sleazy grin and a mouth full of harrassment.
"where ya goin'? class just ended, sweetie."
"i can't stay," you said quickly, heeled boots clicking rapidly against the floor. you'd dress so cute thatâpolka-dot glasses, a pink off-the-shoulder sweater, black skirt, and knee-high boots that really captured the prime look of a college girl! and it was being wasted because this motherfucker was ogling you. "i have to go back to my dorm."
"why? need an escort?"
"no, i know the way."
"well, someone might hassle you."
"somebody already is hassling me."
"huh?" that made naoya pauseâbut only momentarily. once he realized what you meant, he fell back into step behind you, seeming even more determined than before. "got some bite on you. i like that. lot of women don't know when they should play it easy or hard to getâyou do."
you hated when guys couldn't just take no for an answer the first time. because that meant you had to use the next excuse up your sleeveâ
"my boyfriend wouldn't like that you're following me. i really can't stay and talk, and i'd like it if you would kindly leave me alone."
you said it as curtly and politely as you could, then, before the surprised naoya could reboot and say anything else, you bolted through the doors of the humanities hall and out into the spring day.
campus was lively in the afternoon. there was ultimate frisbee and football being played, groups of friends on picnic blankets talking and tanning, girls swirling their boba and iced coffee as they commuted from classes and dormsâand there was ryomen's and a handful of his frat sitting on benches in the quad, lounging after smoking.
well, choso and geto were still slightly buzzed. toji hadn't taken a pass, and it took more than a few puffs to get to ryomen.
"oh my god, i can't feel my tongue," choso muttered, rubbing his eyes. his black mullet was shaggy, messed up, and he smelled like he'd been waterboarded in geto's cologne to cover up the post-smell of weed.
geto, sitting wide and strumming his guitar absently, grinned lazily. "you're too easy, man. second-hand molly in the wind would get you fucked."
"nuh-uh."
"uh-huh."
"shut the fuck up," toji muttered, waving his hand dismissively as he rubbed his face with the other. "i still have a goddamn headache."
"not our fault you hit your head on a fucking table last night," ryomen laughed.
toji groaned, turning his head to look off into the distance. the activity on campus only worsened his pulsing skull. "swear to god, 'm concussed or something. shouldn't have on that chair when i was drunk."
"you should've came." choso tapped ryomen's knee. "where were you?"
"with his giiiirrrllll," geto teased.
"yeah, yeah." ryomen didn't care if everyone in all of fucking tokyo knew he was whippedâhe was whipped for you, his sweet little girlfriend. "not my fault i wanna spend one night of the weekend watchin' pretty woman again instead of watching toji crack his head open."
like he was summoned by his name, toji started shaking ryomen's shoulder. "dude."
"one secâ" ryomen was about to say something else to choso, but toji wrenched his arm to the side. "what the fuck! what?"
"look where i'm fuckin' looking." toji pointed across the quad. "isn't thatâ"
"holy shit," geto said when he saw you briskly walking and crying, like you were trying to escape someoneâyou had been.
choso frowned when he followed everyone's line of sight. "is that your girlfriend? why is she crying?"
"i... gotta go." ryomen got up from the bench without another word and started across the quad. when he realized how fast you were walking, he thanked god that he was an athlete and started running after you. "hey!"
when you hear a male voice, you automatically moved quicker, expecting it to be naoya againâbut then it repeated, and you recognized ryomen.
"baby? hey, slow the hell down!"
fuck. you didn't want him to see you crying. think, think, thinkâ
but it was too late. ryomen had reached you, grabbed you by the shoulder, and turned you around in an instant. "shit, thought i was going to lose you. what'sâ"
you couldn't held but sob even harder when he began to ask you what was wrong, and ryomen gaped at your puffy, round face, smudged mascara, and the salty streams of tears down your cheeks.
"oh god, angel. what's wrong? c'mere, can i hold you?"
as expected, since he had the biggest soft spot and change of attitude when he was with you, ryomen engulfed you in the comforting embrace of his arms and let you bury your face and ruined makeup against his racing jacket.
"ok, ok," he whispered softly against your hair as he stroked it. "deep breaths. in and out, yeah? gotta calm down and take proper breaths. can i see your purse, please, hon? don'tcha keep tissues in there?"
"iâ" you wheezed slightly, trying not to choke on tears or words. "i was gonna wait inside until i looked for 'em..."
"all right, well, i'm here now. let me see."
carefully, he slipped your purse off your shoulder, located the pack of tissues inside, then extracted one so that he could dab your face gently. "there we go. better, hm? keep breathing f'me, just like that, pretty girl."
when you had calmed down enough to not explosively weep again, ryomen caressed the side of your face and asked, "tell me what happened."
you crossed your arms, lips pursed in a pout. "no."
you knew what he would do if you told him that naoya zenin bothered you...
"what? fuck you meanâ" he inhaled slowly, then tried again, softer. "angel, how can i help if i don't know what's wrong? orâhow are you gonna feel better if you don't talk about what made you cry like that? i mean, you were going pretty fast in those heels, i imagine something happened."
after a pause, he hardened. "did someone fucking do something to you?"
"ryoâ"
"nah, don't give me that soft stuff. tell me who and what."
"it wasn't anything serious!" you insisted, holding him tightly. "seriously."
"tell. me."
"promise me you won't be mad!"
"no."
"ryo!"
"was it a guy?" he brushed a few hairs out of your face, grimacing. "i'll beat the shit out of him if it was."
"it was a small incident. small, that's it."
"or was it a girl? 'cuz satoshi's brother satoru knows a girl named shoko in pre-med, she'll fight anyoneâunless you don't care if i do it, because i'll hit anyone you ask, babeâ"
"stop!" you shook him slightly. "a guy kept following me around and bothering me, i just wanted him to go awayâand he did! he just... overwhelmed me. i was scared."
ryomen stared at you when you finished speaking. he blinked a few times and nodded slowly, tongue against the inside of his cheek. "ok. yeah, ok."
you frowned, watching as his face contorted. "what?"
"this happened just now?"
"um... like ten minutes ago."
"where?"
you picked at your nails, growing nervous. "...the humanities building."
he'd turned on his heel without a second thought, and you hurried after him, having known he probably would've gone off the moment you gave him all the details, like a bloodhound with a scent for prey.
"waitâryo! it's not that big of a deal!"
"not that big of a deal my ass." he was practically snarling.
who you didn't expect to see soon after ryomen was on his war path was the culprit himself. naoya was crossing the pavement, staring at his phoneâbut when he saw the tattooed, six-foot-four jock headed his general direction, he couldn't help but freeze. you also stopping, surprised and wary, was a dead giveaway on who the guy ryomen was looking for was.
ryomen glanced between naoya and you, then pointed. "him?"
you slowly let go of his arm, knowing there was little you could do to help the situation or stop your boyfriend. "yeah..."
calmlyâtoo fucking calmlyâhe continued down the sidewalk until he was a few yards from naoya, then he nodded once and said, "hey, man."
naoya, contemplating fight or flight, tried to remain casual and nodded back. "hey..."
"wanna ask youâyou bother that girl over there earlier?" he jutted a thumb over his shoulder, at your nervous figure in the distance.
"i didn't bother her. i was just talking to her."
"in what way."
"huh?"
"In what wayâbecause you sound like a really shitty guy to talk to if she walked away crying."
"not my fault she didn'tâ"
before naoya could finish casting off whatever blame onto you, ryomen winded back a tight fist and clocked him in the nose.
naoya yowled in pain the moment the fist connected with his face, and he recoiled, hands snapping up to cover his soon-to-bleed nose. "what the fuck is wrong with you?!"
"ryomen!" you cried from behind him.
across the quad, it seemed that the others ryomen were with before had witnessed everything.
"ry!" toji waved a relaxed arm, like he knew ryomen had everything handled but still wanted to be nice and extend an offer. "good?"
ryomen cracked his knuckles, then wrung out his pulsing hand. "yeah, he shouted back. "good."
"is she ok?" choso called over, pointing at you.
"i'll take care of her."
"'kay, i guess." geto watched the entire thing with a skeptical look. "see you later."
without exchanging any words, ryomen returned to you and carted you up to his dorm. he was glad that you didn't protest or refuse to go with himâhe surely thought you were mad at him, until you whispered the soft "thank you" to him at his door. he simply kissed your head and pushed the door open.
in his dorm, he insisted you clean while he ordered food. lounging in his bed, shirtless now and just in a pair of sweatpants, he scrolled on his phone while resting a hand on you. you'd positioned yourself beside him after cleaning off your tear-streaked makeup and changing into one of his hoodies.
"sushi and boba, or thai?" ryomen asked, rubbing slow circles on your thighs. he loved to grip the plush there, to kiss up from your calf to the softness of your bellyâhe would later, but right then, he was focused on getting you fed and rested, the two things he thought key in recovering from bad days. "wait. chinese?"
you ran a hand through his hair and leaned over to peck his cheek. "anything."
"you always say that, baby."
"i know."
"ok. sushi and boba."
you smiled. "i trained you right."
taking a moment, ryomen dropped his phone and grabbed your jaw to bring you in for a full, proper kiss that lasted until you were both breathless. and when you pulled away only slightly, hovering closely above him, lips still brushing, he licked his lips and smiled. "you're ok, right? not mad?"
"no," you said, tilting your head slightly. "not mad. maybe a little annoyed that you always jump to violence, but... i really appreciate you wanting to protect me. i know you just want me to be all right in the end."
"damn right i do. i love you, gorgeous."
smiling, you kissed him once more. "i love you too, ryo. now order the food before the place closes."
send me asks <3
buy me a kofi
divider creds to @anitalenia check them out their work is so gorg!!!!
ride â jungkook
jungkook x you (femreader) | 3.3k words summary â spotting jungkookâs weight session in your home gym. harmless, right? rating â 18+ (sex, course language) a//n â this one is by far my favourite. masterlist
The soft, distant thrum of music playing was the only sound travelling through your otherwise peaceful home. You had set yourself up for a quiet afternoon with a glass of iced tea, catching up on work that youâd missed while travelling to a couple of tour dates, watching your boyfriend do his thing. Jungkook always gave you the VIP treatment, making sure your time away from your life was worth it and of course it was. But nothing could beat having him back at home in Seoul, lazily enjoying the time you had alone together.
Just as you settled into the couch, an almost finished lemon popsicle in hand and your laptop steadied on your lap, you heard your name being called from the other end of the house. The voice echoing through the hallway belonged to Jungkook and there was a part of you that wanted to pretend like you hadn't heard him, feeling way too comfy and in the zone to get up again if it wasnât important.
That was until you heard your name again, a little louder this time and you knew that you couldnât ignore him. Your man was persistent and even though you loved your time with him during the break and over the off-season, it did become apparent that when he was home, he always wanted you close by to talk to. Like he was trying to make up for lost time but he forgot that even though he had time off, your work life continued much to your dismay.
But you were both working on finding the right balance.
"Where are you?" You shouted back and pulled yourself out of your spot on the couch, on a mission to track down your needy but ridiculously cute boyfriend.
You followed the music, figuring that he mustâve been in the home gym heâd set up a couple of winters ago. A Leon Thomas album was playing through the sound system, echoing off the mirrors that lined the otherwise blank walls. It was a messy sight as you walked in â yoga mats that youâd left behind sprawled out on the ground while Jungkook sat hunched over, scrolling on his phone with his legs hanging over each side of the bench press that was sitting in the middle of the naturally lit room.
He was quick to notice your presence in the doorway and chucked his phone onto one of the many towels neatly folded up on the shelf behind him.
"Could you spot me, please? Because I nearly killed myself with this weight."
You swear you were listening but you couldnât help but take a second to drink in his appearance, suddenly feeling a hot flush wash over your chest. He was sans shirt, tattoos on full display and glistening with sweat, which wouldâve been enough to fuel your desires but the tight short shorts and the hair sticking to his forehead was what really got the endorphins running. And as much as you couldâve stared at him for the rest of your days, the last thing you wanted was for Jungkook to notice how flustered you were by his appearance.
"If that thing is going to fall on your face, there's no way my twig arms are going to stop it," You scoffed, eyeing at the weights behind his head with concern.
"You just have to push it off me so it doesn't crush my chest," He shrugged with a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, far too nonchalantly for your liking.
"Oh right â just casually save my boyfriend from being crushed to death. CoolâŠ" You sarcastically retorted while Jungkook wiped his hands on his shorts and scooted underneath the bar, back squeaking as it stuck to the faux leather.
"Just come and stand behind my head, honey," He sweetly directed and you sighed softly, knowing that he was going to keep lifting the stupid thing anyway and you would much rather be there if anything did happen.
So you shuffled around to where heâd settled himself on the bench, feet and shoulders with the part, ready to save the day if you needed to. Well, kind of ready because the view from where you were standing was not only magnificent but wildly distracting.
âThatâs it, baby,â He whispered with the smallest of smirks tickling his lips.
Jungkookâs strong hands gripped the bar and lifted it carefully off the stand, flickering his eyes to each side and making sure they were securely off before bringing it down towards his tensed chest. The grunts that left his throat as the muscles and veins in his arms bulged under his taut skin sounded exactly like the noises he was breathing in your ear last night as he fucked you into the next dimension, the sound immediately transporting you back to the way his hands felt on your skin.
His tight chest puffed out in time with his sharp hips that bucked off the bench with each rep and the groans leaving his lips were making it difficult to keep an eye on the job, even though a part of you wondered whether this was all a ploy to get you in here and see this glorified soft core in session. Knowing Jungkook, it was almost definitely the latter.
"Okay two more," He huffed out, lifting the bar up and down a couple more times, concentration stitched into his sticky forehead.
The grunts got louder the closer he was to finishing the set, again casting your mind back to your night between the sheets, before he slowly pushed it up towards the stand and let your fingers hook around the bar, just in case it slipped out of his slick hands. Because every part of his body was perspiring â his biceps, thighs, neck, chest, the bridge of his nose that was achingly close to your core was glistening and so were you, from doing absolutely nothing. Dripping.
Jungkook sat up with a groan and took a couple of deep breaths, blood pumping through his veins as you watched the muscles on his rippling back contract, âYouâre soaked â let me grab you a towel.â
This was your chance to try and shake the daze you were in. It was pathetic the way he wound you up without even knowing, hypnotising you with something as innocent as a workout. Maybe it was because you had been blissfully enjoying each otherâs touch the second he dropped his luggage in the doorway, jumping into bed and hardly leaving it ever since.
Or because he was the sexiest creature youâd ever seen and seeing him gleaming with sweat and groaning like an animal was a massive turn on for you. Either way you were soaking after his performance, desperate to have those sounds breathing down your neck as soon as humanely possible.
He graciously took the towel you were offering with a wicked smile, wiping his flushed face and roughly drying his dark hair before spinning around 90 degrees on the bench, gazing up at you with the same smile but now with that devious sparkle in his eye that always had you hook, line and sinker.
"Thank yoooou."
It rolled off his tongue too perfectly, almost in sing-song, and you couldnât control the eye roll, knowing how much he loved teasing you. He also loved how quickly he could get you naked when he put on that mischievous smirk, his charm always leaving you spellbound.Â
"Any time," You sang in reply, attempting to leave the room before you combusted on sight but you were stopped by a fistful of fingers grasping the hem of your black cotton shorts.
Jungkook gently pulled you back, a hole already burnt into the material from his eyes zeroing in on your curves. He loved every inch of you, worshipped the air you breathed and pinched himself daily that youâd stuck around with his crazy stupid schedule and maniacal whims. God, he adored you and ached at how effortlessly beautiful you looked in your matching crop top and tracksuit pants, waltzing around the home you had created together.
And he couldnât hide the way he felt when you looked around, bottom lip clamped loosely between his front teeth, chewing the inside of his cheek and admiring how fucking lucky he was to have such a beautiful creature in his grasp. Heaven sent.
"You look very cute today."
He was smitten; holding your hips in place as you slung your arms around his shoulders. His hands subconsciously trailed down to the back of your thighs and teased the thin hem on your shorts, fingertips melting into the skin like butter as he watched your gorgeously bright eyes narrow.
"I'm not wearing a bra just for you," You flirted, nudging closer to his chest and needing more than just the heat from his hands on your skin.
"I can see that," He hummed matter-of-factly as he gazed over the sheer top that had been driving him crazy all day, adoring the way your nipples hardened at his stare before pressing a peck to the bottom of your sternum.
Jungkook continued trailing soft kisses across your stomach as you brought your hands to his tousled hair, trawling your fingertips through the damp locks and massaging his scalp. A soft, barely audible whimper slipped from his lips as he tilted his head back and caught your eyes, succumbing to the drowsiness and closing them for a quiet moment.
"That feels so nice."Â
He practically whispered before opening his eyes and pulling you closer with his hands that were now hidden under your loose top, fingertips following the arch of your spine as you leaned down and captured his soft lips. He tasted salty, tongue deliciously warm as you explored his mouth with your own. You loved the way he inhaled you and swallowed the moans he was causing. The intimacy you shared with him never ceased to make you weak in the knees, putty in his hands.
"I wanna watch you fuck me in this mirror."Â
Your words were muttered against his pursed lips and Jungkookâs eyes were wider than a flying saucer when you pulled back ever so slightly, noses bumping together from how close you still were. He huffed out a soft laugh as you nodded towards the mirrors lining the walls around you both, eyeing your reflection beside him.
"Really?" He asked incredulously, a humorous expression ascending onto his blushing cheeks as you returned the raised brow, confused by his question.
"Do I look like I'm joking?" You scoffed, the deadpan look never faltering from your face and causing his goofy smile to fall; finally realising you were being serious.
"Well... no you don't but... Do you want me to do you against the mirror or on here?" Jungkook asked frowning down at the bench before bouncing up and down on it to make sure it was sturdy enough for your spontaneous demand.
"I don't really care," You almost moaned, smoothing your hands across his strong chest and over his tense shoulders, leaning down and pressing your lips to his damp neck again, "I just need you."
"I don't wanna risk breaking this because it was the last one at the shop so I guess we could do it against the mirrorsâŠâ
The consideration in his voice caused your brows to furrow in disappointment and your hands to drop from his shoulders as you stood up straight, looking down at your boyfriend with a frown. It was unlike Jungkook to not be jumping for joy at your suggestion, but although he was impulsive and spontaneous, he was also pragmatic. The duality of the man still surprises you.
"Jeez, don't get too excited about it."
The sarcasm was dripping from your tone as Jungkook shook his head fervently, quickly reaching out to pull you back. All he could think about daily was making love to you in different places in the house and shockingly, the home gym hadnât been ticked off the list but god, he wanted to. He was already twitching thinking about it, the tightness of his shorts already cutting off circulation to his legs.
"No, no. Baby, look at you â I am so excited but you caught me off guard and I was just trying to think⊠whatâs the word? Logically⊠LogisticallyâŠâ
"Itâs logistically but Kook â you called me in here and made me watch you gyrating and making sex noises, and then you told me I look cute and now you're caught off guard that I want to have sex with you?... Are you okay?" You joked, pressing the back of your hand against Jungkookâs sticky forehead, pretending to check if he had a temperature or if he even had a pulse at all.
He laughed, borderline giggled and shook his head, "Well, when you say it like that, it makes sense. I just didn't think you'd get turned on over that."
You couldn't help but laugh in his face at his assumption, "You're shirtless and sweaty and wearing shorts that are so tight that I can see your dick... There's no way you didn't think this would get me going."
You wagged your finger up and down his body and Jungkook simply shrugged, hardening by the second, "It didn't even cross my mind but if it's making you feel like that then let's fucking go!"
He slapped his hands down on his lap and immediately reached for the drawstring on your pants. âThese are definitely coming offâŠâ He murmured, eyes narrowed in concentration as he slid them down your legs.
"I promise if we break the bench, I will personally call every single shop in Seoul and replace it.â
You stepped out of the cotton material around your ankles, grasping Kooksâ shoulders for balance as he tugged on his own shorts; finally liberating himself of the constriction caused by his own unadulterated arousal. He had no self control when it came to you.
"Jeez, you are horny," He teased as you climbed on top of him; his tactile hands guiding your knees to each side of his thighs with a devilish grin.
He was in his element with you on top of him; he had the perfect view of his girl and could feel how ready you were for him when you rested on his thigh, your slickness cool against his soft skin. He loved how dialled in you were to his touch, every little wince or mumble making his heart pound harder in his chest â blood rushing to his dick every time you whispered in his ear.
But he knew that you knew how much he craved having you like this so of course he teased you in spirited retaliation, like any man desperately in love does to the one he adores the most.
âYou know that if you ever need to get some inspiration, you can always come in and watch me work out, baby. You like it, huh?â
"I do and I intend to enjoy this so shut up."
Now he was really hard, worked up beyond his limits.
As a distraction from his edge, he went back to what he did best â kissing you. You were both as pent up as each other, embarrassingly desperate for two people who had been going at it all weekend but you couldnât get enough. It wasnât until the firm grip on your hips tightened even more that you finally felt how enthusiastic he was about fucking you in his gym.
"You taste like lemons," Jungkook mumbled as your tongues collided.
You couldnât mask the smirk on your lips as he kissed you again, reaching down and massaging him over his boxer briefs. You pulled away slightly from the kiss, ghosting his swollen lips as you softly stroked him in your hand.
"I bet if you'd seen me eating that lemon popsicle, you would've felt the same way as I did watching you lift these stupid weights," and Jungkook chuckled at your annoyingly accurate theory, his warm breath fanning over your face before seizing your lips again. God, he loved kissing you.
"I probably wouldnât have lasted, let's be honest," He whispered back with a knowing smile, completely unashamed to be enamoured by the woman slowly stoking him, eyes fluttering shut from the pleasure surging through his body.
âMaybe next time, sweetheart.â
Kook simply smiled, eyes barely open as he watched your bodies connecting in the most intimate way, tongue quickly swiping across his bottom lip in preparation for your kiss. As you gripped him tight in your hand and bottomed out on his achingly hard cock, you pressed your lips to his own, forced to swallow the loud moan falling from your lips.
You whimpered before a sharp inhale caused Jungkooksâ eyes to shoot up to your closed ones, searching your face for any pain.
"You good?" He asked softly but swiftly with his hands firmly placed on the outside of your thighs, gently holding you in place until you gave him the okay to move his hips.
"So good," You breathed, tilting your neck back and arching your spine to change the angle a little, feeling that sweet spot deep inside you being brushed ever so gently, âYou feel amazing right there.â
Once you both hit that toe curling, achingly good rhythm that you had perfected together, Kook rested his chin on your shoulder and watched how mind-numbingly hot you looked riding him in the mirror, his big tattooed hands firmly grabbing your ass and spreading you out like a meal he was desperate to devour.
"My god..." He growled as you looked down and followed his eye line, biting your puffy bottom lip when you realised he was watching himself disappear inside you, every inch taken care of. And you too, were groaning at the sight.
âYou look gorgeous riding my cock, baby.â
"We look so sexy," You were quick to correct, breathless from both the sight of Jungkookâs large, veiny hands leaving prints on your backside and his relentlessness to have you losing your goddamned mind on his dick.
Both had you twisted in knots, the pit in your stomach tightening with every thrust and all you could do was thank whoever had invented weight training because boy, were you reaping the benefits now. Sex in your home gym â tick.
+ + +
âSoooo,â Jungkook drawled, a smug smile lacing every syllable.Â
The workout afternoon delight that had you and Jungkook panting and sending echoed moans through an otherwise silent house had required a change in location after one too many âdeadliftsâ. Maybe the bench press wasnât up to the challenge but you took the risk, knowing the consequences and it was an accident, of course, one waiting to happen according to the man brushing his warm fingertips down your spine; the unspoken promise you made hanging in the thick air.
âWhen are you going to replace my bench press, huh?â
A grumble fell from your lips at his leading question, head buried in a pillow and still coming down from the high that had sent your mind, body and spirit into orbit. Your tired eyes caught his glimmering with humour, tickled that you were now responsible for buying him a new bench, in Seoul no less.
âBut my Korean is so badâŠâ
Jungkooksâ soft laugh sifted through your ears, his giggle showing his hand and now you knew that this was his plan all along. He was the reason it broke, not you. He was the one who insisted on fucking you faster, harder, deeper until your legs were shaking and he had the neighbours downstairs questioning whether there was an earthquake warning for the city. He had you on all fours, rocking back on his dick like your life depended on it, loosening you and apparently every screw on the frame below. Screaming out for mercy.
And now he had the audacity to look at you with those mischievous doe eyes that had gotten you both in trouble more times than you could count, thrilled that you would have to fumble your way through a phone call for him. So instead of picking up your phone, you pulled Kook down into a deep kiss, distracting your sweet boyfriend until he was a moaning mess again.
The broken bench press was a problem for another day.Â
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The Wife Trap: Part III | JJK
Summary:Â There's no turning back after diving headfirst into the deep end with you, not that Jungkook would ever want to, but past secrets and choices entirely out of his control might just topple the delicate house of cards he's spent eight months building to conceal his web of lies.
Pairing:Â Jungkook x Reader, Jungkookâs Twin x Reader, (Slight) Jungkook x Jennie
Genre:Â Twins AU, Unrequited Love, Brother-in-Law/Friends to Lovers?, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Slow-Burn, Hurt/Comfort
Word Count: 18.7k
Warnings: intense grief, depression, self-loathing, crying, screaming, arguing, name calling, panic attack, cemetery, headstone, mention of funeral, anger, lying, manipulating, gaslighting, pregnancy/miscarriage, menstruation, cramps, doctors, mention of procedure, fertility issues, secrets, twins, trading places, tricking people, illness, motorcycles, the press/news, corporate world, blood, first dates, anxiety. SMUT: dub-con (she consents to the acts but is unaware of his real identity), kissing, unprotected vaginal sex, period sex, cowgirl, missionary, fingering, neck kissing, creampie. OK that's it!
Authorâs Note:Â guys can you believe it?? all this anticipation and you finally get to find out the truth and how everything ends! also, today is the one year anniversary of my writing era (aka when I dropped Universal Truths). so happy anniversary to us!! it's been the best year ever and I have all of you to thank for that. I can't wait to hear what you have to say, some people guessed pieces of the ending but no one got it completely so I'm pretty happy about that. alright, enjoy the climatic finale and I love you all soooo much!! :)
->Â The Wife Trap Masterpost
When a bell dings above Jungkookâs head as he enters the bakery, it reminds him of the sound he once believed heâd hear upon meeting his soulmate. Then, as if the universe is laughing at him, you appear in his line of sight.Â
Youâre exiting the kitchen with a large tray of scones balancing on your palm which you gracefully slide into the display case to replace the empty one. After rising to your full height again, you spot him in the doorway and your eyes light up like fireworks.Â
âHoney? What are you doing here?âÂ
Before he can even open his mouth, you scurry across the room to him. He naturally extends his arms out and pulls you in close once you barrel straight into his chest.Â
âThought Iâd surprise my beautiful wife at work,â he explains.Â
His lips find your temple before you unravel yourself from his embrace.Â
âArenât you too busy for that?âÂ
âEh, maybe. Iâm never too busy for you, though.â
Your responding smile is just as radiant as always, and the lovesick gleam in your eye is something heâll never tire of witnessing.Â
âBut how do you know Iâm not too busy for you?â You retort with a smirk.Â
Jungkook playfully clicks his tongue a couple times like heâs scolding you.
âThat's something I never wanna hear.â
âWell, Iâm a business woman now. So you donât have much say in the matter.âÂ
With your hands placed proudly on your hips as they are now, you look like a sweeter-than-candy version of Wonder Woman, and the corners of his lips twitch upwards.Â
âFair enough, business woman. Are you too busy for me?â
After momentarily pursing your lips in thought, you smile and shake your head.
âNope.â
He tsks at you.
âPut me through all that heartache for nothinâ.âÂ
Jungkook steals your hand so he can lace your fingers together while you holler at Jennie about leaving for a bit. He follows suit by waving at her with his free hand where sheâs standing behind the counter, to which she enthusiastically returns the greeting.Â
It lifts his spirits to see such a massive smile on Jennieâs face. He feared she would never wear such a bright expression again, but it seems sheâs found new fulfillment by helping you manage the bakery.Â
âSo, where are we going?â
The two of you are strolling hand in hand down the street adjacent to the building, your arms lazily swinging between you.Â
âThought we could just walk around together, maybe grab some coffee,â he proposes.
His answer causes you to stop short in the middle of the sidewalk.Â
âDid you do something bad?â
âHuh?â
âJae, the only time youâd ever leave the office for lunch was to meet with Kookie once a month. Let alone just to go on some afternoon stroll with me,â you declare.Â
He debates over his reply while beginning to tug you along with him again.Â
âYouâre right, but I think itâs about time I change that.â His hand squeezes your own. âWeâre both working now and that means less time to spend together at home.âÂ
âYou gonna make this a little routine, then?â
âIâd like to,â he firmly states. âAnything I can do to see your gorgeous smile more often, I will.â
The blush creeping onto your cheeks and up your neck is precisely why he canceled all his early afternoon meetings to spend time with you. Moments like these are priceless and he understands now more than ever how fleeting they are.Â
âSpeaking of routines, thereâs one you stopped doing after we lost Kookie that Iâve been really missing lately,â you announce.Â
âHm? Whatâs that?â
Youâre gnawing on your bottom lip as though youâre embarrassed, which is both adorable and heartbreaking, considering you shouldnât ever find it hard to tell him how you feel.Â
âWell, you know how you used to bring me home a new bouquet every Friday? I didnât mention it sooner because everythingâs been such a whirlwind the last eight months, but I seriously miss smelling flowers every morning when I come downstairs.âÂ
Jungkook mentally smacks himself in the forehead. Of course, he vividly recalls your kitchen table always having a fresh flower arrangement in the center. Not to mention Jaehyun spoke about it plenty over the years.Â
He even remembers how his twin would waltz into the house on Friday evenings with a massive bouquet in his hands and shout, âHappy Friday, beautiful!â
âFuck, baby, Iâm so sorry.â He pauses and turns to face you. âI never thought of it once this entire time.â
âI know. Itâs alright.â
âBut it isnât. My grief shouldnât prevent me from treating my wife how she deserves.â
His comment causes your eyes to roll.
âHoney, you treat me better than I could ever hope for. The flowers? Theyâre far above and beyond your duties as a husband. Thatâs why I didnât bring it up before.â
âAbove and beyond or not, itâs something Iâve done for you for years and it shouldnât just stop because I have a lot on my mind.â Jungkook sighs while encasing your hands between his own. âI promise to do better and youâll start regularly receiving your flowers again this week.â
You smile and acknowledge his vow with a nod before giving him a quick peck.Â
The stroll lasts another half hour or so, including a brief stop for drinks to sip on during your trek back to the bakery. Jungkook kisses you goodbye outside the entrance, out of view from any customers, but waits for you to safely step inside before returning to his own workplace.Â
Upon arriving at the office, he immediately begins digging around old files and notebooks for the name of the florist Jaehyun used. He imagines his brother had a weekly service set up with them and Jungkook wants to reestablish it if possible.Â
In the end, he finds absolutely nothing, and has to ask Jimin for assistance. Unsurprisingly, his twinâs longtime employee already has the name on hand and scribbles the information on a sticky note for Jungkook.Â
After work, he heads straight to the florist shop thatâs thankfully about equal distance away from both the office and house.Â
Just like the bakery, a bell dings overhead when he enters the building and the sound causes an older lady behind the counter to glance up.
âAh! Jaehyun, dearie, I wondered when weâd be seeing you again!âÂ
It only makes sense she recognizes him, Jaehyun probably saw her once a week for the last three or four years whenever he picked up the bouquets.Â
âI know, Iâm so sorry,â he remarks while weaving through the shop towards her. âWe had a death in the family and suddenly all my usual routines got thrown out the window.âÂ
âOh, I know, dearie. I saw the news in the paper after it happened. Iâm so sorry about your brother,â she tells him as her hand comfortingly covers his own where itâs resting on the counter.Â
Jungkook offers her a small, warm grin.
âThank you.â
âYou know, Iâm a twin myself.â
His eyes widen in pleasant surprise. He doesnât think heâs come across another twin since losing his own.
âReally?â
âMmhm. Identical, too, just like you. She passed away a couple years ago.â
Itâs hard to hide how his breath catches in his throat. For eight months heâs felt so unbearably alone itâs been like carrying around a physical weight. But hereâs someone who knows exactly how he feels, even if the circumstances differ.
âIâm sorry,â he quietly offers.
She merely waves him off.
âIt was old age, nothing like what you went through.â Her expression shifts from professional to caring; almost motherly. âItâs weird, isnât it? Going from two to one.â He nods, in complete awe of her speaking his own emotions aloud. âNo one else understands, do they? I mean, they try, but itâs impossible. Youâre with this person from conception and then all of the sudden⊠nothing.â
A stray tear sneaks out from the corner of Jungkookâs eye which he quickly wipes away, but she still notices and sends him a sympathetic, understanding look in return.Â
âItâs indescrible,â he replies.Â
âIt is.â
âOther people canât even begin to comprehend what itâs like walking around as just a half. Sometimes it feels like Iâve been cut right down the middle and Iâm bleeding out.â
Her head curiously tilts while she surveys him for a moment.
âIs that how you view yourself, dearie? As half a person?â Another nod. âWell, thatâs not true. You and your brother were two separate, distinct individuals. Although Iâm sure your bond was much stronger than most siblings, you didnât complete one another, you complimented each other.â
It takes a second for her words to sink beneath his skin and flow through his veins. He rolls the notion around in his mind a few times and when it finally solidifies, Jungkook feels like heâs been hit over the head with a metaphorical brick.Â
His entire life, heâs always viewed him and Jaehyun as two halves of a whole. It never even occurred to him there could be other schools of thought. Rather than two magnets stuck together by a natural force, from her perspective, theyâre closer to parallel lines moving at the same pace.Â
Jungkook doesnât realize heâs crying until he feels a tissue being pushed into his hand. The kind gesture brings a smile to his face as he thanks her with a curt bow before drying his eyes.Â
âIâve never thought about it like that,â he confesses.
She smiles as well.
âIt appears so. I hope the fresh perspective helps, dearie, I really do.â
âIt does. Thank you.âÂ
When his grin broadens, she reaches out to pinch his cheek, causing him to giggle and scrunch his nose.Â
âSo, what brings you in after so long?âÂ
Jungkook sighs.Â
âWell, my lovely wife misses her weekly flowers and if Iâd remembered sooner myself, I wouldâve been here ages ago.âÂ
âAh, I see. Do you want to return to the old schedule? I use whatever seasonal flowers we have and you pick them up Friday before closing time?âÂ
He enthusiastically nods while clasping his hands together in a prayer position.
âYouâre a lifesaver. Yes, please.â
She chuckles and types on her computer for a couple minutes before meeting his gaze again.
âDone. Weâll see you on Friday,â she announces.
âThank you. Thank you. Thank you!â
If it werenât totally inappropriate, he would leap across the counter to hug her. Not only did she solve his problem with you, but her words of wisdom were some of the best heâs ever heard.Â
The interaction leaves Jungkook with a genuine pep in his step as he strolls towards the front door after returning home. His good mood lingers beyond the threshold as well, especially when he finds you at the stove cooking dinner for two.Â
âHi, honey!âÂ
Rather than greeting you, he snatches your waist from behind to yank you into his chest. You squeal and kick your legs in mock protest, but he ignores you in favor of aggressively kissing your cheek.Â
âI missed you so much,â he proclaims into your skin.Â
âWe saw each other a couple hours ago.â
âStill too long.âÂ
You giggle and smack his forearm so heâll let you go. But once your feet are back on earth, you spin around in his arms for a slow, lingering lip lock.Â
âIf it makes you feel any better, I missed you, too,â you confess.Â
Jungkook smiles into the kiss before breaking it to tuck some hair behind your ear.
âIt always does.â
This is the typical affection that occurs between you two and after eight months, itâs as easy as breathing for Jungkook.Â
Ever since you had sex for the first time two months ago, youâve both been clingier. You were already a handsy couple before, but the deeper bond forged through intimacy amplified the urge to always be near each other.Â
Following that night, neither of you have been able to resist one another. In the last eight weeks, Jungkook can count on one hand how many days you havenât had sex. It doesnât just happen in the evenings, either. Sometimes he wakes you up in the morning by kissing his way down your torso until he reaches your center. On weekends, you often pause whatever afternoon activity youâre doing to force him onto the couch while sinking to your knees.Â
Youâre making up for lost time. Although, for you itâs about six months and for him itâs been almost sixteen years.Â
Despite having a full blown mental breakdown after making love to you for the first time, Jungkook hasnât had any issues since. He simply lives alongside his guilt like itâs a roommate inside his head, just as he does with the grief and loneliness of being without Jaehyun.
Itâs a good thing because youâre fairly insatiable, and if his emotions were still giving him pause, it would be impossible to please you. Â
Like right now, when you begin guiding him out of the kitchen and towards the living room with a mischievous glimmer in your eye.
âSweetheartâŠâ
âWhat?â You nonchalantly shrug, but your smirk reveals your true intentions. âDinner takes over an hour to cook in the oven.âÂ
âYou know, at one point you might just milk me dry,â he warns.
âSays the one who always asks for another round,â you counter after reaching the couch and shoving him down.Â
He plops onto the cushions with a low grunt, but heâs grown accustomed to this song and dance, and his eyes follow your every move as you straddle his lap.Â
His hands immediately start to crawl up your spine while you focus on kissing and biting his neck. Your hips are already rolling into his, causing his dick to strain against his slacks. Regardless, he doesnât hesitate to mirror your movements so you can feel how hard heâs become just for you.
âNot my fault your pussyâs so damn addicting.âÂ
You giggle and lift your head.
âYouâre right, baby. Iâm so sorry for having such a tight, wet cunt.â
Jungkook loudly groans while his eyes roll into his skull.
âFuck! You just love driving me insane. Donât you?â
âItâs only, like, my favorite pastime,â you quip.
Your lips meet before the banter can continue as your bodies work in tandem to provide friction to your most sensitive areas and nerve endings. After a little while, Jungkook sneaks his hands beneath your shirt to pull it over your head, but you sever the kiss and stop him.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â He asks you, concern evident in his features.Â
âNothing. Iâm just on my period at the moment and for whatever reason itâs really, really heavy.â
His head tilts in confusion.
âLike abnormally heavy?â
âYeah. The cramps are killing me, too.âÂ
âWell, donât orgasms help with cramps? Letâs kill two birds with one stone.â
He goes to kiss you again, but you maintain the distance between you by leaning away from him.Â
âWhat?â
Thereâs a sharp edge to your tone like you suspect heâs messing with you and youâre not in the mood.
âWhat?âÂ
His iteration comes out much more clueless.Â
âJae, youâre the most squeamish person I know. You canât handle the sight of blood at all. Let alone touch it.â
Shit.
Jaehyun did get pretty queasy around blood. Which is a shame because period sex feels fucking fantastic and his twin shouldâve gotten to experience it at least once while he was alive.Â
âRight, right.â Jungkook nibbles on his lower lip while his mind scores through different explanations he can use. âI guess once you wake up in the hospital next to your dead brother, that stuff just doesnât really bother you anymore.âÂ
You grimace and reach up to card your fingers through his hair.Â
âAre you sure? Iâm more than happy just to help you out.â
He nods.
âIâm positive, baby. But Iâm a little concerned about your period being so bad.â
âI mean, it happens to the best of us,â you claim.
Perhaps he simply doesnât have enough knowledge on the matter, but he hates the idea of you being in pain or discomfort.Â
âAlright. Just promise me youâll go to the doctor if it doesnât let up.â
You reassuringly smile.
âI promise.â
Jungkookâs hand rises to cradle your head so he can guide you closer for a kiss. You two quickly pick up where you left off, starting with him removing your top and tossing it aside on the couch. His shirtâs the next victim and then your bra, soon leaving you both nude from the waist up.
Your soft, warm skin brushing against his own is one of his favorite feelings in the world and he presses on the small of your back until there isnât any space left between you. The two of you proceed to lazily make out and dry hump for some time, but you both eventually grow too needy and start maneuvering so you can strip your pants and underwear off.Â
Once the rest of your clothes are strewn across the furniture, Jungkookâs hand slips between your legs where he glides his fingertips through your folds.
âFuck, youâre so wet,â he notes as his lips travel across your jaw and down your neck.
âI think thatâs all the blood, honey.â
âDoesnât matter.â Two of his fingers push into your hole and you naturally arch towards him when he begins curling them. âStill feels fucking amazing. And so damn tight.â
He continues to slowly fuck you while maiming your throat with his teeth and tongue. The airy whimpers he elicits are music to his ears and heâll do anything to keep hearing them. Which is why he glances up for an explanation when you suddenly grab his wrist to stop him.
âI want your cock,â you answer the silent question.
As if Jungkook could ever deny you.Â
âYeah, baby? You gonna ride me exactly how I like?âÂ
Following a nod, you kneel and wrap your hand around his dick to pump him. Heâs already rock hard, just like he always is as soon as you touch him, but the grip still helps lead him towards your cunt as you descend again.Â
When his head passes through your tight circle of nerves, you both groan, and the pleasure only increases the farther you sink down his length.Â
âGod, youâre so fucking big.âÂ
Jungkook snickers.
âDonât act like you forget. I was balls deep in you just last night,â he retorts.
âI know, but holy shit. I donât think Iâll ever get used to how full you make me feel.âÂ
The sentiment is certainly shared because having his cock buried deep inside you still frazzles his brain every time. Itâs especially true at the moment, since your pussyâs extra swollen and sensitive due to your period.Â
He would sit here with your bodies intertwined forever if you let him, even without any movement or friction. Itâs heaven on earth and heâs positive heâll never get enough.
âNo? Not even after all this time?âÂ
Your responding chuckle is fractured by a moan when he rocks his hips forward to send his cock straight into your g-spot.
âYes. Iâll be eighty and still babbling about how much I love your cock.â
Jungkook genuinely cackles, causing your chest to shake along with his due to the proximity.
âDitto.â
You join in his laughter before the noise gets muffled by your lips meeting again. Since youâre both still smiling, your teeth scrape against each other until you manage to find your footing.
While your mouths partake in an amorous dance, you begin dragging your hips across his lap. The fluid motion allows your cunt to seamlessly move up and down his shaft and it isnât long before his velvety skin is coated in arousal with a creamy, white ring at the base.Â
Youâre goddamn prolific at riding dick, and Jungkook doesnât have to do much but sit there and watch you bounce. Even so, he still lets one hand roam your spine while the other tugs on your hair. He also takes control of the kiss by nipping at your bottom lip and conquering your mouth with his tongue.Â
âShit, baby, youâre doing so well,â he encourages you. âTaking this big cock like you were made for it.âÂ
His words make you keen as your body instinctively speeds up. The pace isnât too fast, not like how he pounds into you after a particularly hard day, but itâs enough to leave you both panting between kisses.Â
Whatever the tempo may lack, you ensure itâs made up for by consistently sheathing his entire cock inside you. His tip keeps hitting your cervix at the conclusion of each stroke and feeling your pussy swallow him whole over and over is beyond divine.Â
âItâs sâgood, baby. I wonât last,â you admit.Â
âAlready?â Jungkook teases before dipping down to kiss your neck and shoulder. âYou used to be able to keep up with me.âÂ
He feels your muscles tense above him and giggles in accomplishment. You may be an expert at riling him up, but he knows precisely how to push your buttons, too.Â
âIâm sorry, which one of us came barely a minute into the last blowjob they received?âÂ
With a gasp, Jungkook lifts his head again to stare at you in faux offense.
âHow dare you use that against me! You had my balls in your mouth, what did you expect to happen?âÂ
You boisterously giggle while tossing your head back.Â
âAll Iâm saying is donât dish it if you canât take it, Mr. Jeon.âÂ
âHa! Letâs see about taking it, shall we?âÂ
Without warning, Jungkook flips you onto the couch before driving his dick right back inside your cunt. A sinful squelch accompanies the sudden action, but itâs nothing in comparison to how zealously you both moan.Â
âNo fair.â Your lips form an adorable pout he has to refrain from smooching. âI wanted to keep riding you.â
âIf you can hold out a little longer, Iâll let you sit on my dick all night,â he offers. âMrs. Jeon.âÂ
You wordlessly accept his challenge by wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist so you can force him closer. It leads your lips to naturally reconnect at the same time Jungkook begins rocking into you at a steady pace.Â
Even though heâs the one who mentioned holding out, the new position is already propelling him towards the edge of ecstasy. Between your walls fluttering around him, your limbs clinging to him, and your tongue inside his mouth, heâs a goner.Â
After just a couple more minutes, both of you are breathlessly whining and digging your nails into one another's skin. Jungkookâs strokes are as deep as ever despite not being that fast and itâs clear nothing can prevent either of you from crashing headfirst into an orgasm.Â
âIâm close,â you warn him, to which he concurs with a mindless nod.Â
As a final push, Jungkook trails his hand down so he can circle your clit. Youâre already sensitive from all the friction so far and it only takes the slightest touch for you to wail and cream his cock.Â
His own release follows with a series of animalistic grunts as his seed floods your cunt and he fucks the liquid deeper inside you. You two continue to grind throughout the climaxes, causing the wet sound of Jungkook thrusting into your drenched, swollen hole to echo around the room.Â
âJae⊠baby⊠itâs too much.âÂ
He stops as soon as he hears your quiet whimper, but remains nestled between your walls while he catches his breath.Â
âAre you alright?âÂ
Jungkook rises to his elbows so he can see your face before pushing back the sweaty strands of hair stuck to your forehead. Rather than answering, you just nod and tug him down for another kiss. He smiles into the lip lock, leading you to do the same regardless of how tired you are.
After pulling out and finding a rag to wipe down you, him, and the couch, which is thankfully leather, you both get redressed in a comfortable silence. Then you return to the kitchen to check the oven while he heads upstairs to file away his work stuff.Â
When he returns to the first floor, youâre busy setting the table since the food only has a few minutes left to cook.Â
âYou know, I had the strangest dream last night,â you announce after placing the final fork.Â
âHmm? What about?â
âSo, you know the bench right across from Kookieâs headstone?â Of course, he does, itâs one of the reasons they chose the location. He, you, and his parents all agreed and the four of you usually visit the cemetery together about once a month. âI was sitting there with him just like I have in some of my other dreams. We were talking about the bakery, how Jennieâs doing, etc. But when I said, âI love and miss you, Jungkook,â this confused expression crossed his face and he told me, âIâm not Jungkook.ââÂ
The actual Jungkook, the one standing a couple feet away from you, chokes on the grape he just nabbed from the fruit bowl in the kitchen. Never in a million years did he expect his twin to start sending you subliminal messages in your sleep.Â
âThatâs so weird,â he mumbles while attempting to chew properly.Â
âRight? I mean, why would he say that? I get itâs a dream and all, but itâs just so bizarre.âÂ
He begins racking his brain for a reasonable explanation, even though he knows you wonât actually figure him out based on a dream alone.Â
âMaybe he meant he isnât Jungkook to you. Because you always call him Kookie,â he poses.Â
A metaphorical lightbulb seems to flicker on above your head.Â
âOh, I didnât think of that.âÂ
Jungkook shrugs as though it was obvious and he didnât just pull it out of thin freaking air.Â
The timer for the oven saves him from the conversation as he joins you in the kitchen to help plate everything. Following dinner, despite him promising you full access to his lap for the remainder of the evening, your period makes that impossible.Â
So, you two cuddle in bed together and watch a couple movies before eventually falling asleep in each otherâs arms.Â
In the morning, Jungkookâs surprised to find you still asleep beside him. You usually wake up hours ahead of him to prepare the dayâs bakery menu.Â
âSweetheart?âÂ
He rounds the mattress so he can sit on the edge near you, where he begins softly combing your hair back.
âHi,â you croak.Â
Your eyes gradually blink open as a weak smile appears.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â
âMy cramps came for blood this morning. Pun unintended.â
âHave you taken anything?â You nod while resting your hand atop the one still parsing through your hair. âShould I bring you to the hospital?â
âNo, baby. I already called my doctor to book an appointment for Friday.â
âBut itâs only Wednesday,â he argues.Â
The small grin on your lips grows until he can see your teeth.Â
âIâll be fine. Maddie assured me her and Jennie have everything handled, so I can just rest until Iâm feeling better.âÂ
Jungkookâs hesitant to let you wait two more days, but heâs also aware youâve suffered through enough periods over the years to trust your own intuition.Â
âAlright, but Iâm staying, too.â
You shake your head.
âThat's not necessary. My mom will come over if I get worse. Sheâs driving me on Friday, anyway.âÂ
âY/N, Iâm not leaving you like this.âÂ
âYou are. Youâre going to go to work and Iâm going to lay here and do absolutely nothing. I assure you, youâll be far more useful at the office.âÂ
His head tilts in determination, but your eyes burn with resilience just the same. Itâs clear any form of persuasion will fail, so albeit reluctantly, he starts getting ready for work after placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.Â
But he does make you promise to call him if you feel worse, even if your mom comes to keep you company.Â
It takes an exuberant amount of effort to coerce him into finally walking out the door and leaving you home alone. Especially when all he wants is to dive back into bed and hold you close until the sun goes down. Alas, he still has other responsibilities to uphold.Â
Youâre feeling a little better by the time he arrives home that evening, with your symptoms continuing to lessen throughout the day on Thursday and again on Friday morning.Â
Nevertheless, Jungkook asks you to call after your appointment and you assure him you will before kissing him goodbye. You wave him off as he strolls towards the car and even though you do it whenever youâre home during his departure, it never fails to make his heart skip a beat.Â
âI love you, handsome!âÂ
An involuntary blush stains his neck, cheeks, and ears.Â
âI love you more, beautiful!â
The simple exchange sets his entire day up for success, and he finds himself practically skipping around the office until it hits five. But rather than heading straight home, he stops at the florist to pick up your arrangement.Â
He has another quick chat with the owner before paying for the bouquet and telling her heâll see her next week. The sweet, floral aroma fills the car as he drives home and it feels fitting for the spectacular mood heâs in.Â
You never called him after seeing your doctor earlier, but heâs choosing to assume no news is good news.Â
Upon arriving home, he locks the front door and kicks off his shoes before strolling into the house with the large bouquet in his right hand. He finds you on the couch with a novel perched between your fingers, so instead of possibly disturbing you mid-sentence, Jungkook kisses the top of your head.
âHi, baby,â he whispers.Â
A second after he goes off to find a vase for your flowers, he hears you set the book on the coffee table and stand up. Heâs busy placing the arrangement in water, but can tell youâre now a couple feet away on the edge of the dining room.Â
âJungkook,â you flatly call.
âWhat about him?âÂ
He moves the vase to the center of the table before smiling to himself for a job well done. It looks just as beautiful as he remembers it being when Jaehyun was alive.Â
âJungkook.â
His brow scrunches as he turns towards you.Â
âWhy are you just repeating my brotherâs name?â
When he finally faces you, he notices your demeanorâs completely different from this morning. Your face is cold and blank with your arms defensively crossed over your chest.Â
âIâm not.â A heavy silence stretches like elastic between you. âIâm talking to you.â
The rubber band cracks like a whip and damn near knocks Jungkook off his feet, but he hides the reaction by shaking his head.Â
âIâm not sure what you mean,â he claims.
A dry laugh shatters the stillness in the air.Â
âOf course, you donât.âÂ
Your behaviorâs making his head spin and his stomach curdle, so he naturally steps closer to you.Â
âBaby, what ââ
âDonât fucking call me that,â you snap.
Jungkook immediately raises his hands in surrender.Â
âY/N, I have no idea what youâre talking about.â
Another eerily silence floods the room as he waits with his breath trapped inside his lungs. Then you clear your throat while standing taller in preparation to speak again.
âAs you know, I went to the doctor earlier today.â He nods, but intense confusion is still etched into his features. âAnd it turns out I wasnât on my period this week, I was having a miscarriage.âÂ
His heart sinks straight through the floor and buries itself in the earth below. Heâs never once considered being a father; not when he was always resigned to loving you without ever being with you. But now youâre telling him you were pregnant, past tense, and the thought makes him ache done to his very bones.
âWhat?â
You completely ignore him. Your stern expression doesnât even slightly waver despite the sadness in his voice.
âBut see, that doesn't make any sense, because I have to be pregnant first in order to miscarry. And considering my husband canât have kids, that should be impossible,â you calmly explain. âThat only leaves two options.â In contrast to the unspeakable tension of the conversation, you wiggle two fingers in the air. âEither I cheated, which I know I didnât, orâŠâ You slowly inhale as a scalding fire blazes alive in your irises. âThe person I had sex with isnât my husband.â
The world feels like itâs crumbling into ash all around him. This canât be happening; there canât possibly be something so unavoidable in his path. Not when heâs spent the better part of a year successfully hiding the truth from you.Â
Could Jaehyun really not have kids? His brother never mentioned fertility issues, either on his or your behalf. Jungkook always assumed you two were simply waiting to have kids.Â
Even though this obstacle is astronomically larger than the previous ones, he knows he can overcome it. He has to, for you.Â
âThose are not the only logical explanations,â he counters, keeping both his voice and body relaxed so you donât suspect him any more than you already do.
âNo? Please, enlighten me.âÂ
Jungkook feigns confidence on the outside while reaching into the very depths of his mind for an answer.
âWell, the doctors couldâve been wrong.âÂ
Your eyebrows rise.
âAbout what? Me having a miscarriage?â
âOr me not being able to have kids.â
âOh, please, they were not wrong,â you retort. âIf you were actually the person there during the diagnosis, you would know that.â
His head feels like it weighs two tons and itâs difficult to even think straight when his anxiety sounds like blaring sirens.Â
âMiracles happen everyday, Y/N.â
âMiracles? Thatâs what youâre going with?âÂ
He groans and runs his fingers through his hair.
âWhat else do you want me to say, sweetheart? Because your theory sounds fucking insane!âÂ
âNo, it doesnât!â You shout. âAnd Jaehyun would never say something like that to me!â
âI am Jaehyun!â Jungkook yells right back.
âLike hell, you are!â You take two large strides towards him before recoiling, like you forgot you donât want to be that close to him. Then all at once, the anger seeps from your face and your shoulders slump. Tears collect along your waterline as your lip begins to quiver. âKookie, please⊠please donât lie to me anymore. I donât think my heart can take it.â
Hearing his nickname fall from your lips in such a somber, defeated tone yanks him into reality. The reason he did this in the first place is because of you. To keep you happy and save you from experiencing the same grief he had to endure. But now youâre standing ahead of him looking like a mere shell of yourself, and he canât convince himself this is right anymore.Â
So, he takes a deep breath and counts down from three in his head.
âYouâre right,â he confesses. âIâm not your husband.â
Your eyes widen dramatically, and Jungkook realizes you never expected him to actually admit it. That despite your determination and adamance, you wanted him to prove you wrong; to conjure up a reasonable explanation that could quell your doubts. Because if heâs not your husband, then that meansâŠ
âNo.â It starts as a quiet epiphany, but then Jungkook watches in horror as you crumble into a ball, your knees scraping against the floor while your forehead meets the wood. It almost looks like youâre praying, which you very well might be. âNo, no, no, no!â Each repetition grows louder until youâre desperately sobbing the word. Your whole body shakes from the immense force of your cries and soon enough, the short syllable turns into a gut wrenching scream. âNo, Jaehyun!â You choke on his name as though it physically hurts to say. âMy baby!â
Your shrieks are brutal and ear piercing, throwing Jungkook completely off balance. He canât think, canât breathe, and certainly canât move. Leaving him no choice but to stand there and witness the exact nightmare he was trying to prevent in the first place.Â
It honestly sounds like your vocal chords are being torn from your throat as you alternate between screaming, weeping Jaehyunâs name, and more helpless denials. Heâs never heard anything so horrible in his entire life and itâs utterly paralyzing. Everything he did was to avoid this moment, but now youâre on the ground wailing in front of him and heâs totally useless.Â
Jungkook doesnât know how much time passes, too crippled by his own mind numbing emotions and your cries of agony, but he eventually manages to kickstart his brain.Â
âY/N.â
On pure instinct, he tries to close the distance between you. Except when you register the movement, you instantly sit up and shuffle back before standing to further expand the gap.Â
âDonât you dare come near me,â you state with your arms out.Â
The defensive stance makes his heart shatter and his lungs tear.
âY/N,â he pleads.Â
âYouâre a fucking monster.â
Despite calling himself that in the past, it kills him hearing it come out of your mouth.Â
âNo.â
âHow⊠how⊠how could you?â Your frameâs still rattling from all the raw emotions as silent tears cascade down your face. âHow could you do this to me? Lie to me, manipulate me, betray me like this? You⊠you stole my grief from me!â
âY/N, please ââ
âAll this time, I shouldâve been grieving my husband. Eulogizing him, visiting his grave, remembering our time together. But instead you let me waste it all on you!â Jungkookâs never even seen you angry before, let alone like this. The fury in your eyes is borderline animalistic. âAnd for what? So you could take over his life? Were you so jealous of him you had to go this far? To steal his house, his car, his job, his fucking wife?âÂ
âNo, thatâs not why ââ
âBut it isnât just his life. You stole his death, too,â you proclaim. âJaehyun died protecting you and this is how you repay him? By claiming the act as your own?â Your rage seems to be simmering into a bleak calm, but thatâs actually scarier, because it feels like the person he knows and loves is fading away. âHe deserved to be mourned. He deserved to have a funeral, to be remembered and prayed for, to be buried under a headstone with his own goddamn name on it!â Jungkook opens his mouth to argue, but you donât let him. âBut you took all of that away from him and now IâŠâ You gasp for air as fresh tears escape your eyes. âIâll never get to say goodbye,â you declare in a fractured voice. âHeâs been all alone in that cemetery for eight months while I was busy playing house with his fucking brother.â
Your monologue not only rips his soul in half, but causes you to break down all over again. Thatâs when Jungkook realizes his face looks the same as yours; swollen eyes and cheeks stained with tears.Â
âAnd there were so many signs,â you note between sobs. âI knew you werenât Jae the second I got done hugging you at the hospital, but I needed you to be him so badly I gaslit myself into believing you were. Besides, the idea you would ever do something this horrendous was just unfathomable to me. So whenever your behavior didnât make sense or you couldnât remember something you shouldâve known, I ignored it.âÂ
He canât even begin to digest your words, no matter how much he wishes he could. His only thought is that he needs to fix this. Itâs his duty to heal your heart and save whatever may be left of your relationship.Â
âI⊠Iâm so sorry,â he whispers.Â
The despair in your eyes flickers out to make room for more wrath.Â
âYouâre sorry? Thatâs all you have to say for yourself?â
âNo, IâŠâ Jungkook inhales to gather his thoughts. âI didnât do it to steal Jaeâs life. I did it for you.â
âFor me?â
He nods.
âYes. To protect you from the truth. I didnât want you to ever have to feel what I was feeling at that moment. I couldnât let you lose Jae.â
His explanation makes you scoff.
âOh, no. You donât get to stand there and pretend youâre some selfless hero. You did this for you and you alone, Jungkook.â
âBut I didnât, Y/N. All I could think about after finding out he died was how you would react and how much pain you would be in.â
âHa! Well, look at me now!âÂ
âI know, okay?â He isnât even cognizant of his body moving towards you until you take a matching step back. It creates an even deeper wound in his chest seeing you repeatedly inch away from him. âI know it wasnât right, but I didnât have any other choice. I never shouldâve survived that crash. Jaehyun was supposed to be the one to walk away, not me. This was all I could do to fix it.â
You disagreeably shake your head.
âYour survivorâs guilt isnât an excuse to play with everyoneâs lives like this,â you argue. âI mean, did you even think about your parents? Or Jennie?â
âNo,â he answers without hesitation. âThe only person on my mind was you. Just like always. Youâve been my first thought in the morning and my last in the evening for fifteen years.âÂ
His confession doesnât seem to register with you like he thought it would, given how your eyebrows kiss in confusion.
âWhat? Why?âÂ
âWhy?â Jungkook gawks.Â
âYes!â
He laughs to himself, although there isnât an ounce of humor present.Â
âIsnât it obvious?â When you shake your head again, he braces himself to finally admit the secret he once swore heâd take to the grave. âIâm in love with you, Y/N. Iâve loved you since the moment I stepped foot in that classroom all those years ago. And I tried to stop it, tried and tried to get over you, but it was fucking impossible.âÂ
Jungkook has no clue what to expect in terms of a reaction. Maybe shock, horror, or disgust. But he certainly doesnât think it will be absolute, unadulterated anger.
âThatâs what this is about?â You yell at the top of your lungs. âYour brother bites it and your first thought is to take what youâve always wanted?âÂ
âWhat? No!â The possibility you believe he would ever stoop so low leaves his hands shaking at his sides. âMy feelings had nothing to do with it!â
âOh, so you getting to fuck me whenever you want was just an unintended consequence?âÂ
âThatâs notâŠâ He pauses to take a deep breath, although heâs finding it hard to keep his lungs inflated. âYes, my feelings were obviously a factor, but they werenât the reason for my actions.âÂ
Itâs your turn for an empty, heartless chuckle.Â
âYou can lie to yourself all day, Jungkook. But youâre done lying to me.âÂ
When you turn to grab your coat and bag hanging near the door, he panics and rushes forward.
âWhere are you going?â
You face him again with a look of total disbelief, as though youâre shocked he thinks he has any right to ask you such a question.Â
âI donât know. I just need it to be far, far away from you.â
Thereâs a burning sensation in his chest thatâs spreading into his veins and he has to bite back the whimper clawing up his throat.Â
âNo, please. We can still fix this.âÂ
âThis? Thereâs no âthisâ to fix!â Jungkook can feel you metaphorically slipping out of his grasp when you place one hand on the doorknob. âWeâre not a couple, Jungkook. This marriage doesnât belong to you. My real husbandâs lying six feet underground and Iâve been a widow for eight fucking months without even knowing it. All because of you.â
Before he can find another avenue to stop you, the door flies open and you disappear from his sight. The loud slam when it closes makes him jump as the first sob erupts from his lungs and he slowly drops to his knees.Â
âY/N,â he weeps, despite you no longer being there. âWait.â
Jungkook buries his face in his palms as his emotions pummel into him like rampant, merciless tsunami waves. His oxygen is long gone, thereâs an incessant ringing in his ears, and his vision is shrouded in tears.Â
Your name slips in between his cries like an undertow, pulling him so deep he canât see the surface anymore.Â
He has no sense of how long he stays in the position, but his head is pounding by the time he finally glances up. Based on where the sun is outside, or lack thereof, he thinks at least an hour has passed.Â
Of course, youâre his first thought once the dust clouding his mind settles. He immediately checks your location to ensure youâre somewhere safe and finds your contact photo at the cemetery.Â
It only makes sense thatâs where you went. Who else would you run to at your darkest hour besides the man you love?Â
The real man you love.Â
No matter how well Jungkook was able to fool himself into believing what you two had these last few months was authentic, youâre right. Thereâs nothing between you and him but a paper house.
His fingers begin typing you a message before he can think twice. It isnât anything of note, just a couple sentences stating heâs going to pack and stay with his parents so you can return home without having to worry about crossing paths.Â
Shortly after hitting send, a new thought dawns on him. His parents. You finding out the truth was one thing, but he canât even imagine how hard itâll be telling them.Â
Once he throws some clothes and toiletries into a duffle bag, he trudges down the stairs to survey the first floor.Â
Jungkook doesnât know if heâll ever stand here again, not after what heâs done. It isnât just the home where you and he lived together, either, but where his beloved twin once resided. Most of his memories of the three of you from the last five years took place in this house. By now, itâs become more akin to a physical piece of his soul than a mere building.Â
The ghosts of you and Jaehyun seem to dance around the various rooms; mirages of him helping you bake in the kitchen or covering your eyes for you during a scary movie. But theyâre soon replaced by visions of you and Jungkook instead.Â
He wishes he could claim he regrets his choices, and a piece of him does, but he canât wholeheartedly say so. Not when you were content, comforted, and fulfilled while he was pretending to be your husband. No matter how decimated your relationship is now, he canât bring himself to paint your time together in a negative light.
On the drive to his parentsâ place, Jungkook pictures the worst case scenarios for their reactions in his mind, and heâs downright terrified of any one of them coming true. Because if he loses his parents as well, what would he have left in this life?Â
Even after arriving, he waits in the car for a burst of courage to propel him towards the house. The problem is this confessionâs inevitable no matter how long he lingers outside. Thereâs no unwinding this wheel; all he can do now is face the music.Â
As the front door swings open, he hears his mother humming to herself in the kitchen at the end of the hall. Itâs mundane and something he grew up listening to around the house. If itâs the last creature comfort he gets to experience at his childhood home, he supposes itâs a good one.Â
âJae? Is that you, sweetie?âÂ
Jungkook halts upon reaching the threshold of the room.
âNo,â he quietly responds.Â
She giggles, clearly assuming itâs a joke, but when she turns around to find him looking as though all the lifeâs been drained from him, her face falls.
âDarling, whatâs wrong? You look like youâve seen a ghost.â
An anticipatory moment stretches for what feels like an entire eternity while Jungkook wills himself to open his mouth.Â
âIâmâŠâ His hands are shaking so violently he has to squeeze them into fists. âIâm notâŠâ
âJaehyun?âÂ
While she maneuvers through the kitchen to reach him, he fills his lungs with enough air for the weighted confession.Â
âIâm not Jaehyun.âÂ
The world freezes just like pausing a film. At least, everything except his motherâs pupils which are trembling in shock and astonishment.Â
âWhat did you just say?â
Fresh tears are already blinding him.
âIâm not Jaehyun,â he repeats as his voice breaks across his twinâs name.Â
âYouâre⊠Jungkook?â The very second he lifts his chin to nod, she gasps and throws her arms around him. His body involuntarily buckles once heâs inside her warm, familiar embrace while his hands cling to her like a life vest. âOh, my baby.â
Jungkook doesnât know if heâs ever cried this hard. Itâs as if hugging his mom reverted him to a child whoâs just fallen and scraped their knee. The overwhelming comfort of her presence unlocks all the emotional tension within him, freeing it for the first time since he woke up in that hospital room.
âIâm sorry,â he wails into her shirt.Â
âShh, shh.â She keeps kissing the side of his head and despite the affection healing something deep inside, it makes him cry even harder. âYou have nothing to apologize for.â One of her hands moves to cradle the back of his head. âIâm just so happy youâre alive. Iâve missed you so, so much.â
âBut Jae⊠Jaeâs dead. Heâs been dead all this time. He died saving me and then I fucking stole everything from him,â he explains. âI got Y/N pregnant. Thatâs how she found out the truth. Because she lost the baby, and since Jae couldnât have kidsâŠâÂ
âOh, sweetie.â
âHe never told me. Why wouldnât he tell me?â He feels like heâs speaking utter nonsense, but the words are just pouring out of him after being trapped in his chest for so long. âI hurt her, mom. Iâve loved her since we were kids, but I still lied to her and betrayed her trust in the worst way imaginable. I kept her from grieving the man sheâs loved since she was fifteen.â The longer he talks, the more his guilt bears down on him like a cage thatâs one size too small. âIâm such a monster.â
His mom delicately separates the two of them and as soon as they come face to face again, her own eyes fill with tears.Â
âNo. Youâre not even close to a monster.âÂ
âNo one else would be able to stomach doing something so awful.â
âThatâs not true,â she argues. âPeople have committed far worse crimes than trying to help the ones they love.â When his mouth opens, she lifts a finger to silence any retort. âEven if their methods were misguided.âÂ
âHe must hate me, right?âÂ
She shakes her head.Â
âNever. Jaehyun could never hate you.â
Jungkook sniffles before drying his face with his sleeve.
âI think this might be the exception,â he claims.
âNo, my darling.â Her fingers caress his cheek, right where his scars are, and he automatically leans his head on her palm. âIâm sure he isnât the happiest with you at the moment, but he also knows you better than anyone. So, I think he understands why you did it, even if he disagrees.âÂ
âMom, I fucked his wife. Repeatedly.âÂ
She chokes on a dry chuckle.Â
âI said he probably isnât happy with you, didnât I?âÂ
The sound of his motherâs laugh eases both his heart and mind, even if just a little.Â
âWhat about you? Arenât you mad at me?â
âOf course not,â she assures him. âHow can I be when I thought you were dead, and now youâre standing here in front of me?âÂ
âBecause thereâs still only one of us.â
âYes, and Iâll have to work through that on my own time. But for now I just want to cherish my baby being alive.âÂ
Jungkook canât help but smile.Â
They end up gravitating towards the couch, where he stretches across the cushions with his head in her lap like he would do as a kid. He and Jaehyun used to fight over the coveted position all the time.Â
Her fingers gently comb through his hair as she listens to him explain everything from the moment he decided to pretend to be Jaehyun, to the second you walked out the door. She doesnât give her opinion unless asked, but hums in acknowledgment every once in a while so Jungkook knows sheâs paying attention.Â
âI just donât get why Jae never told me he couldnât have kids. I mean, did he not trust me with something like that?â Jungkook muses.
âNo, sweetie, it didnât have anything to do with you,â she clarifies. âYour brother was just so ashamed when he found out. He felt like he was letting everyone down; Y/N, your dad and I, her parents. He thought it made him less of a man, no matter how much we all assured him that wasnât the case.â Jungkook gazes up at his mom as she speaks. âHe even begged Y/N to leave him so she could find someone who could give her children.â
âNo, he didnât,â he gawks.
His mom nods.Â
âAs you can imagine, she totally lost it on him. I donât think Iâve ever seen her so mad, especially at Jaehyun, of all people. Being a motherâs always been her dream, but only if Jaehyun was the father. She didnât care whether it was natural or through adoption, but the only person she ever wanted to raise a child with was him.âÂ
âHow come whatever condition prevented him from having kids doesnât affect me, too?âÂ
âItâs environmental and develops after birth, so thatâs why youâre in the clear.â He hums and turns his head back to the front so his mom can continue carding through his soft, black strands. âIn fact, when the doctor found out Jaehyun was a twin, she suggested they ask you to donate for artificial insemination.âÂ
Jungkook nearly falls off the couch when he chokes and twists his entire body around so he can face his mom.
âYouâre joking.â
She cackles.
âNo, not even a little.â Her head shakes as she recalls the whole debacle. âThe doctor told them it would be biologically the same as having their own child, since your DNA is ninety nine percent identical.â
âOh, I bet Y/N loved hearing that,â he teases.Â
âJaehyun said she almost burned the doctorâs office to the ground.â The two of them share another laugh. âYour brother actually didnât mind the idea, but like I said, biology didnât mean anything to Y/N. Only he did.âÂ
Itâs easy for anyone who knows you to understand your negative reaction. Nothing in the world mattered to you more than Jaehyun, and it only makes sense that if you couldnât have kids with him, you wouldnât want them at all.Â
The thought causes Jungkookâs heart to start aching again because on one hand, your unconditional love for his twin is the very reason he took his place, but itâs also what makes the truth so much more devastating.Â
âHe knew, you know,â his mom professes.Â
âKnew what?â
Her lips form a pout like sheâs debating whether or not to elaborate.
âThat you were in love with Y/N.â
Jungkook genuinely does flop right over the edge of the couch this time. His left side meets the ground with a thump as his mom gasps and leans forward to check on him.
âIâm okay,â he groans while sitting up.Â
âGod, you havenât changed one bit. Have you?âÂ
He smiles before standing and sitting down beside her.Â
âApparently not.âÂ
âI donât even know how you pulled it off. You two were such opposites,â she notes. âI mean, when I look back on the last eight months, it seems obvious. Even you and Y/Nâs interactions were different.â
âHow so?âÂ
She thoughtfully sways her head side to side.
âY/N and Jaehyun moved like the earth and the moon. They orbited around each other, complimented each other, and relied on each other. But you and her were more like waves crashing against a shoreline. There was a push and pull as though you took turns guiding one another. High tide and low tide.âÂ
When people claim mothers know everything, his mom proves them right by a long shot. She somehow notices every little detail no matter how small and it genuinely amazes him.Â
But he canât focus on her words of wisdom with the massive elephant still in the room.
âWait, we need to rewind,â he states.
Of course, she knows what heâs referring to, and clears her throat to explain.
âDarling, your brother knew you better than he knew himself. Just as you did with him. You really thought he couldnât tell you had feelings for Y/N?â
âYes! I mean, why didnât he ever say anything? Or throw a damn punch?âÂ
She chuckles again.Â
âLike I said, because he knew you. He was certain you would never try to steal her away regardless of your feelings. He was also sure Y/N would castrate you if you ever even attempted to.âÂ
Jungkook echoes her laughter.Â
âThatâs what you meant, then? When you said you think he understands?âÂ
âAbsolutely. He knows where your heart lies, sweetie. That you wouldnât do something like this out of malice, selfishness, or jealousy. It obviously doesnât make it right, and he might cash in that punch once you join him upstairs, but Iâm sure he doesnât see you as the monster you claim to be.â
The words permeate his mind as he ponders whether or not he can agree. On the surface, he recognizes her point, but his guiltâs still too thick to wade through.Â
âThatâs what Y/N called me,â he tells her while fiddling with his fingers in his lap. âSheâll never want to see me again.âÂ
His mom reaches out to tuck some hair behind his ear, prompting him to meet her gaze.Â
âYes, she will.âÂ
âYou didnât see her face, mom. She looked afraid of me. Or repulsed, at the very least.âÂ
She sighs and drops her hand so she can cover his own.Â
âDidnât you hear all those wonderful things she said about you a couple months ago? She loves you, Jungkook. Maybe not how you wish she would, and itâll definitely take time, but I have no doubt sheâll forgive you one day.âÂ
All Jungkook can do is hope sheâs right. Because he truly doesnât know what heâll do if he loses you forever. Until then, he just has to focus on cleaning up the mess he made.Â
Speaking of, the sound of the front door opening and his dad calling for them ends their conversation. Jungkook looks towards his mom with fear written all over his face, but she simply reassures him with a smile.Â
His dad doesnât take the news nearly as well as his mom did. Thereâs screaming, an abundance of questions, and even a door slam when his dad needs some fresh air. But once the initial shock wears off, he hugs Jungkook tighter than humanly possible while whispering how much he loves and missed him.
Now that his folks know, the next step is to tell the world. The three of them spend the evening contemplating all their options before settling on claiming it as a business move.Â
The official story printed in the press the following morning is that after finding out Jaehyun died, his dad worried people in the industry would question whether Jungkook could fill his shoes without any prior experience. So, they decided to let Jungkook prove himself under the guise of being Jaehyun for a pseudo-transition period.Â
Of course, the entire technology world goes crazy. His dad spends multiple days fighting with board members and shareholders alike over his poor decision making. But like all news, it simmers into just some strange family drama after a couple weeks.Â
Jungkook doesnât leave the house much during that time and according to his mom, who you still regularly contact, neither do you. Apparently Jennie and Maddie have been running the bakery together in your absence while you rest and grieve on your own terms. His mom also informs him you told Jennie the truth shortly after the article dropped, so sheâs the only person outside of family who knows.Â
A month goes by in the blink of an eye and unfortunately, he has to return to work next week. Despite all the rigmarole, the board eventually decided Jungkookâs leadership has been exemplary these past eight months, and he should remain in his position as CEO.Â
Given that real lifeâs about to start up again, and very soon, Jungkook swallows his nerves and ventures outside to visit the bakery. Not to see you, but to finally face his best friend for the first time since the news broke.Â
He arrives just before closing time so there wonât be any customers around. Jennie also isnât anywhere to be found, but he decides to enter the building anyway by using his spare key.
His eyes map all the different desserts and adorable decor around the room as he waits for her. Everythingâs still so you even though you probably havenât stepped foot inside the building in a month. It makes his heart throb because he just misses you so damn much, but he knows itâs his own fault you arenât here.Â
A recognizable doodle on the chalk board behind the counter is currently holding his interest, so he doesnât hear anyone approach until they clear their throat.Â
âScoutâs honor, huh?âÂ
Jennieâs voice automatically causes his head to whip in her direction. She looks exactly the same as she always does; beautiful, radiant, and headstrong.Â
Once her comment clicks in his mind, his shoulders slump forward and he sighs from deep within his chest.Â
âJen, I ââÂ
Before he can even begin his spiel, she interrupts by colliding with him in the center of the bakery. He grunts in surprise, but still naturally pulls her body closer by her waist. His other hand cups the back of her head while her arms wrap around him so tightly she almost chokes him.Â
She buries her face in his neck, but it doesnât muffle her quiet sniffles very much. The sound prompts Jungkook to return her affection by nuzzling the side of her throat.Â
âIâm so fucking happy youâre alive,â she whispers.Â
Jungkook starts beaming following a huge sigh of relief.
âMe, too.â
They simultaneously pull apart and without thinking, Jungkook wipes a stray tear away with his thumb once her face reappears in his view.
Her eyes grow wide when his finger grazes her cheek, but her expression soon relaxes into one of content. And armed with the newfound awareness of her feelings, he also realizes itâs full of love.Â
Itâs strange being here with her. Even though heâs seen her numerous times throughout the last few months, it doesnât feel like he did because he wasnât technically himself.Â
âIâm so sorry, Jen,â he tells her. âI never⊠I never meant to hurt you. Thatâs the last thing I ever want to do, but I just⊠got lost, I guess.â
âI know.â Sheâs wearing her signature smirk and Jungkook canât resist mirroring it. âYou donât have to explain yourself. I already understand.âÂ
âYou do?â
âKook, you were going through the worst possible moment of your life. You made a mistake. I mean, it was a huge one, but I canât claim I wouldnât have done the same in your position.âÂ
Although he feels an enormous amount of relief because she isnât furious with him, a part of him wishes she was.
âSure, but I still lied to your face and let you believe I was dead. Not to mention when I sat here and listened to you confess your feelings for me like it was nothing.â
She simply shrugs.Â
âYeah, that was pretty fucked up, but it wasnât a secret or anything,â she states.Â
âHuh?â
âI wouldâve told you how I felt if youâd asked.âÂ
Jungkook shakes his head to prevent any more confusion from infiltrating his mind.
âWhat are you talking about?â
Her eyes roll like itâs the most obvious answer in the world.Â
âIt wasnât a secret, Kook. Me having feelings for you changed absolutely nothing between us. The only reason IÂ never told you is because it wouldâve been pointless.â
âWhy would it have been pointless?âÂ
âUh, because youâve been head over heels in love with Y/N since forever?â
That response nearly knocks the air out of his lungs.Â
âBut you said you didnât know who I had feelings for when I asked you that night!â
She laughs while crossing her arms over her chest.Â
âOf course, I did. I wasnât going to out you to who I believed was your brother and her husband.â Jungkookâs mouth forms a little O and it causes her to laugh again. âIâm fairly certain everyone but Y/N was well aware.â
âNo shit. Mom told me even Jae knew,â he replies.
Jennie gasps.
âAre you serious?â He nods with a disbelieving chuckle. It still doesnât really compute in his brain, either. âDamn, your brother was a saint. I wouldâve kicked your fucking ass.â
âThatâs what I said!âÂ
They share in more giggles and suddenly itâs as if no time passed at all. Being around Jennie always feels like coming home, and he sincerely hopes she knows that and agrees with the sentiment.
Then again, thereâs still so much left to apologize for even baring the current situation. He honestly doesnât know where to start, but he promised himself he would try.Â
âJennie?â She raises her eyebrows to show sheâs listening. âAbout your feelings⊠Iâm sorry. I shouldâve considered how certain things might affect you, even if I didnât know you were in love with me at the time. All those late night hook ups and trauma dumps. I canât imagine what those mustâve been like for you. I used you and your body to make myself feel better and best friends should never treat each other like that.âÂ
âKook, thatâs not ââ
He stops the interruption by throwing his hand up.Â
âI know youâre going to say itâs fine, but it isnât.â Once she concedes with a short nod, he continues. âThe truth is, thereâs nothing I wouldnât do to make myself love you back. Youâre fucking perfect, Jen. But even if I could force myself to reciprocate, it wouldnât be fair to you. My feelings for Y/N are unalterable and no matter what, you would always come in second place. And you donât deserve anything even close to that. You deserve someone whoâll cherish you and worship the very ground you walk on.â He sighs. âI wish it could be me. God, you have no idea how badly I want to love you. And Iâm so fucking sorry I canât.âÂ
His best friend looks shell shocked by the time heâs done talking, but she immediately returns the favor when in lieu of a verbal response, she clutches his head with both hands. Before Jungkook can register the sudden movement, sheâs already yanking him down to her level for a kiss.Â
Itâs gentle and chaste. Neither of them even move their lips or attempt to deepen the connection. Although Jungkook does lightly cup her face and caress her cheekbones with his thumbs.Â
She pulls back first, but they both keep their eyes closed for a second longer than the kiss itself. It doesnât feel romantic, even though in any other circumstance it should. Jungkook also understands why she did it without her explaining herself.Â
It was a thank you, an I forgive you, an I missed you, an I love you, and a âyouâre my best friendâ all wrapped into one. Maybe even a farewell to the possibility of ever being more.Â
âYouâve never hurt me, Kook,â she assures him. âEvery moment weâve spent together, platonic or otherwise, Iâve utterly adored. My feelings for you are like an underwater current. They arenât something I agonize over or think about often. They just⊠exist; a part of me in the same way my love for my other friends and family is.â
He smiles after her proclamation fully sinks in.Â
âI love you, Jen. I truly donât know where Iâd be without you.âÂ
A matching grin appears on her lips.Â
âDead in a ditch. Easily.â
They both laugh again as the seriousness of the moment passes to make room for a new chapter in their friendship. One without any misunderstandings or secrets weighing either of them down.Â
Jungkook assumes those are the only amends heâll make this week, but shortly after leaving the bakery, he checks his phone and finds a text from you on his screen.Â
You want to meet at the cemetery this Saturday to talk.Â
Honestly, he can hardly believe what heâs seeing, and he even blinks a few times to check if the message will disappear. When it never does, he swiftly types an affirmative reply and hits send.Â
Visiting Jaehyun has been on his list for the last couple weeks now. He hasnât been to his brotherâs grave since everything fell apart and more importantly, he wants to see the new headstone you had installed with the proper name on it.Â
Besides redesigning the small monument, youâre also planning a very belated celebration of life on the first anniversary of his death in a couple months. It wonât ever replace losing your chance to give him a proper funeral, but itâs at least something thatâll be dedicated solely to him.Â
On the morning of your first meeting in just over a month, Jungkookâs so nervous it feels like his entire body is resting on pins and needles.Â
Heâs bracing himself for this to be goodbye. In fact, heâs half expecting you to hand him a restraining order and make him sign a visitation schedule for the cemetery so you never run into one another while spending time with the person you both loved most.Â
Except when he arrives at his twinâs grave and slowly approaches the bench youâre sitting on, he notices you appear totally relaxed. It could very well be the calm before the storm, but after you glance up and pat the empty space beside you, he stops believing it is.Â
Jungkook follows the silent instruction, but neither of you speak at first. You both simply admire the headstone across from you as the birds chirp overhead and the leaves rustle beneath your feet.Â
You quietly chuckle to yourself after a while and Jungkook finally gathers enough courage to look your way.Â
âI wonât bite, you know,â you tease.
He checks his spot on the bench and realizes heâs cartoonishly far away from you. His ass is actually only half on the seat because he felt it was necessary to leave a comfortable distance.Â
âRight,â he sighs before sliding closer. Â
âHow have you been?âÂ
The question feels so foreign compared to how you two normally communicate, but small talk is where you have to begin again if your relationship is ever going to be mended.Â
âAlright, all things considered.â You hum. âWhat about you?âÂ
Itâs a stupid thing to ask given the circumstances, but manners are manners.Â
âUh, not the best. Not the worst, either. At least, not anymore.âÂ
Jungkook nods to acknowledge your response, but every second the air is becoming thicker with tension.
âSo ââÂ
âI ââÂ
You both awkwardly chuckle while avoiding each otherâs gaze.
âYou first,â Jungkook offers.Â
âNo, I insist.âÂ
Itâs difficult deciding where to start, but then Jungkook remembers who heâs talking to. No matter whatâs happened between you two, youâre still you. He knows he can ramble or stutter for hours and youâll still understand him somehow.Â
âFirst of all, the headstone looks beautiful.âÂ
Following the compliment, you both look towards the monument just a few feet away. Itâs relatively the same as before in terms of design, except it now reads âJeon Jaehyunâ and rather than âbeloved brother, son, and friend,â it lists âbeloved husband, brother, and son.âÂ
You initially only wanted to change the final word, but his parents insisted what Jaehyun was most proud of was being married to you.Â
âThanks.â In a surprise twist, you giggle for a second and Jungkook canât help but feel his spirits lift. âThey asked if I wanted to keep the old one. And I almost said yes so I could, like, smash it with a mallet or something. But I realized that might not be very conducive to my healing.â
Jungkook genuinely cackles at your admission and as if itâs second nature, you parrot the laughter. The moment is so mundane itâs almost like nothingâs changed between you at all.Â
âDamn, I wish youâd said yes. I wouldâve loved to see that.âÂ
âOf course, you would. Youâre the only person I know whoâd find enjoyment in watching their own headstone get demolished.âÂ
âI mean, duh. Thatâs metal as fuck, Y/N.âÂ
You snicker with a familiar shake of your head.
âNext time you die, Iâll be sure to grant your wish.â
The smile on his face simply refuses to disappear. Not when you two are chatting like old times and the negative energy surrounding you is gradually fading away.Â
âWill you?â He asks, bringing the conversation back to a more serious tone. âI mean, next time I die, will you be there?â
His question makes your eyebrows pinch together.
âWhy wouldnât I be?âÂ
Jungkook shrugs.Â
âI honestly thought we were coming here to say goodbye. That youâd never want to see me again, but were at least willing to give me some closure before you leave my life for good,â he explains.Â
The words have barely left his mouth when you begin vehemently shaking your head.
âJungkook, no,â you clarify. âNo matter what, youâre still my best friend. Thereâs no reality where I wouldn't want you in my life. Even if I still need time to forgive you and move on, Iâll never say goodbye.âÂ
He doesnât register himself crying until you shock him by reaching out to swipe at the lone tear on his cheek. Your touch causes his entire body to tense, but it has the complete opposite effect on his soul, which relaxes for the first time in a month.Â
âIâm so sorry, Y/N,â he cries. âI know it isnât enough, and that itâll never be enough, but I am. Hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted. Everything I did was supposed to prevent that from happening. It may be hard to believe, and I understand if you donât, but my feelings for you had no bearing on my decision. Iâm sure it sounds confusing, but I never wanted you for myself. Yes, Iâm in love with you, and I have been for more than half of my life. But the one person I love more than you is Jaehyun, and I wouldâve never dared to take something so precious away from him. Especially when you made one another so fucking happy.â He pauses in case you want to interject, but you just gesture for him to continue. âIf I had wanted that, I wouldnât have taken his place after he died. I wouldâve just comforted you in your grief in order to get closer to you. Me pretending to be Jae was so you two could stay together, not so I could have you. And I know that doesnât make any sense and itâs so fucking twisted, but itâs the truth.â You encourage him with a nod when he checks in with you again, prompting Jungkook to take a deep breath. âWhen the nurse told me Jae was dead, all I could think about was how wrong that was. Not only was he always my better half, but he had so many people who needed him. Then I thought about you, and how I was feeling at that moment. And Y/N, I couldnât let that happen to you. The idea of you experiencing the same devastating loss I was going through made me sick to my stomach. All I wanted, my only goal, was to shield you from that pain. In my mind, I had to keep Jae alive because heâs the one who deserved to live.â He sighs. âIâve done a lot of reflecting this past month and Iâve come to realize that, although you were on the forefront of my mind, there were also other factors involved in my decision. The truth is, Iâve always hated myself for being in love with you. I saw myself as this leech constantly feeding off you and Jaeâs relationship. I know that isnât the case, but I felt so much shame about not being able to get over you. And I loved Jaehyun so fucking much, but the problem is, I think I mightâve hated myself more than I loved him. Which led me to believe I was making the right choice in keeping him alive and letting myself die.â Finally, he twists his upper body so heâs facing you head on. âI know none of this makes it right, and that you donât owe me any forgiveness, but I needed to tell you. Again, Iâm so, so sorry. Thereâs no amount of apologies that can ever make up for what Iâve done.âÂ
Once he concludes his speech, you blow air out of your mouth and thoughtfully nod.Â
âI know,â you nonchalantly respond.Â
Jungkookâs eyebrows rise and he looks around like someone will appear out of thin air to explain.Â
âYou⊠do?â
You ever-so-slightly smile at him.
âYeah. The day I found out the truth, that the love of my life was dead, it felt like being sucked into a cyclone of vicious, excruciating emotions. I could hardly think straight. But after mulling it over these last few weeks, I understand your reasoning. I certainly donât agree, and wish more than anything that youâd never done it, but I can see why you did.âÂ
âOh.â
âAnd Iâm actually just as angry at you for a different reason than lying to me,â you confess. His eyes go wide and you know him well enough to understand it means you should explain. âI am so, so mad at you for choosing to deal with Jaehyunâs death alone. Grief is meant to be shared. The only way someone can get through something so horrible is by leaning on their community. But you decided to hold it all on your shoulders without letting anyone else help carry the weight for you. Do you know how much that breaks my fucking heart, Jungkook?â He shakes his head. âYou lost the most important person in your life and yet you stomached everything on your own so none of us had to lose him. It isnât fair. And even more than that, you gave up everything that made you special; chose to live as someone else for the rest of your life if I hadnât found out. That isnât okay. Yes, Jae had people who loved him, who relied on him, but so did you.â You rest your hand over his own and Jungkookâs eyes flicker down to ensure he isnât imagining it. âIf Iâd known you were the one who survived that day, I wouldâve run to you just the same. And I wouldâve been okay because I still had you. Minus any romance, we wouldâve gotten through it together exactly like we did when I believed you were him.â When you squeeze his hand, he flips his palm up to reciprocate. âIâve never once compared you and Jae. Obviously, losing my husband is an entirely different level of grief, but it isnât necessarily worse. You both held the same weight in the world and left a hole in my heart when I believed you were gone. Just like how platonic and romantic love are two versions of one emotion, but despite being so different, can share the same intensity.âÂ
It takes him a second to process your monologue and he knows itâll be even longer before he can internalize it. His self-loathing runs deep, and itâs only gotten worse after all this, so any positive feelings directed towards him are met with a hard line of defense.Â
âIt was an easy choice to make when I thought it would make you happy,â he counters.Â
âThere canât be real happiness without truth.âÂ
Jungkook nods.
âYouâre right.âÂ
You release his hand and turn back towards the headstone with an almost peaceful expression, and Jungkook finally understands. Knowing where the person you love actually is, even if itâs far away from you, is better than blind ignorance. Any happiness you mightâve felt while he was pretending to be Jaehyun is hollow in comparison. Â
âJaeâs death wasnât wrong, either.âÂ
His eyebrows instantly meet in the middle of his forehead. Of everything he claimed, he didnât expect that to be what you disagree with.Â
âHuh?â
âHe died saving your life, Jungkook. How can that be wrong?â Heâs never considered viewing it in that light before. âIn a split second decision, his gut instinct was to protect you. And I know if your car had been traveling in the opposite direction, you wouldâve done the same.â Jungkook fervently nods. âNo matter how unfair it is or how much I wish it never happened, you shouldnât take that away from him by belittling yourself. His death meant something and I know without a shadow of doubt that he doesnât regret it. Not even a little bit.â
âEh,â he objects. âConsidering I proceeded to sleep with his wife countless times, he might regret not using me as a shield instead.âÂ
His familiar humor elicits another giggle out of you.Â
âOkay. Fair.âÂ
Once a comfortable silence begins to stretch across the cemetery, Jungkook clears his throat so he can change the subject.
âSo, where do we go from here?âÂ
The question makes you purse your lips, but it also seems like you might already know the answer.Â
âThis is the hard part,â you state.Â
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
You start stamping your toes on the ground and rhythmically tapping your thighs. Any sign of nervousness is out of character for you, but Jungkook just waits for your explanation rather than probing.Â
âAlright. After âyouâ died, I automatically expected Jaehyun to be different. Grief that insurmountable is bound to change someone. Which is why I never questioned all the discrepancies I kept noticing while you were pretending to be him. I simply came to terms with the fact that my marriage was never going to be the same.â Jungkook has no idea where your train of thought is going, but he still listens intently. âBecause of that, throughout our time together, I felt like I was falling in love with Jae all over again. And even though âheâ was different, I welcomed it with open arms. Iâve loved every version of him since we were teenagers, and this was just another iteration.â As you talk, the wheels inside his brain twist and turn until the purpose of your speech finally clicks into place. âBut since you werenât actually Jae, that means the newfound love I feel doesnât belong to him. It belongs to you.â
If his heart could physically leap out of his chest and start doing cartwheels, it would. Jungkook genuinely canât believe what heâs hearing. Here he thought this would be the end of your relationship forever, but youâre speaking as if it might be the opposite.Â
âYou⊠I mean, youâŠâ
âI donât know,â you admit. âThe problem is, this love is shrouded in well over a decade of feelings for Jae, so theyâre too intertwined and convoluted to properly distinguish what I feel for him and what I feel for you.â He isnât even breathing while he listens to you, but rather holding in his air supply until you allow him to exhale by clarifying. âBut Iâd like to try. Not now or even soon, because I still have to forgive you and we still need to rebuild what we lost, but eventually, I think we should give it a shot.âÂ
Itâs as though the heavens have opened up overhead and the angels themselves are singing a song of celebration. He actually worries he didnât hear you correctly because his headâs so high up in the clouds.
âYouâre serious?â
âI have one condition, though.â
âName it,â he blurts out.Â
You side-eye the instantaneous response before chuckling under your breath.
âWe have to start from scratch. Thereâs too much history and baggage between us thatâll only weigh us down. When the time comes, I want to go on a first date like weâre total strangers. Ask one another stupid questions about our favorite colors and what we do for a living. Back to square one.â
Jungkook wouldnât be able to stop himself from beaming if he tried. Because youâre posing the idea as if itâs a bad thing, but he canât think of anything better than relearning everything he already adores about you.Â
âDeal. Iâll even repeatedly pronounce your name wrong so it feels authentic.â Your bright laugh echoes through the air and fills his heart with song. âY/N, Iâve loved you for so long. Iâll be happy with whatever you give me, even if itâs just an annual call on my birthday and a Christmas card.â
âI want more than that, Jungkook. Even if a romantic relationship between us fails, I never want to lose you.â Like itâs muscle memory at this point, you lift your hand to comb back his hair. âI love you. Iâm not entirely sure to what degree just yet, but I do know thatâll never change.â
He cups your hand and presses them both to his cheek.
âDitto.â
A massive smile might honestly be a permanent feature of his after this and itâs still present when he turns his head to kiss your palm.Â
âSo, I have this theory,â you proclaim.
âOh, yeah?âÂ
You reclaim your hand before fiddling with your fingers in your lap.
âItâs kinda bizarre, but itâs helped me make sense of all my emotions.â Jungkook nods for you to continue. âOkay. It starts with the multiverse. You with me?â He nods again, albeit more tentatively. âNow, letâs assume in all the other universes, you and I, or Jae and I, are soulmates. As in, weâre always meant to find one another and be together. But what if thereâs usually only one of you, but here you happened to be split into two as twins. It would explain why you both fell for me and I ended up developing feelings for each of you. Because everywhere else your personalities and traits are combined in one person.â
Well, youâre definitely right about it being bizarre. But in some strange sense, itâs comforting to imagine. Jungkook likes the idea that you, him, and Jaehyun are fated by the universe to always intertwine in one way or another. Or that he and his twin really were one soul in two bodies as he so often described.Â
âI think itâs got some legs,â he confidently concludes.
You laugh again before another natural lull in the conversation occurs. It allows for Jungkook to finally admire you up close, which is when his eyes land on something shimmering around your neck.
A gasp escapes his lips upon realizing you're still wearing the pendant he gave you. He was positive you would rip the jewelry clean off after your last interaction. Yet here it is looking just as beautiful as the day he gifted it to you.Â
âWhy didnât you take the necklace off?â He asks in awe.Â
Your fingers rise to map the familiar outline.
âI tried, believe me. Except whenever I went to undo the clasp, something inside just wouldnât let me,â you explain. âIâm obviously still very angry with you. There are even nights when I wish Iâd never met you. The sense of betrayal and violation I feel because of what you did isnât going away anytime soon. But sometimes when I remember certain moments from the last eight months, I canât help but smile.â
His heart soars all over again.
âReally?âÂ
You smirk and shrug your shoulders like itâs no big deal, but Jungkookâs still far above cloud nine. After a moment, your hand falls from your clavicle and you affectionately gaze at your wedding rings.
âYou know, Iâm thinking about wearing my wedding band on my right hand and getting the diamond from my engagement ring made into a pendant. Maybe something with a âJâ and a sapphire for your guysâ birthstone.âÂ
Jungkook can already picture it in his head. Everything looks beautiful on you, but something like that would be icing on the cake.Â
âI think thatâs a wonderful idea.â
âMe, too.âÂ
Suddenly, he remembers his own memento he got earlier this month.
âActually, I have something to show you,â he exclaims.Â
Your attention shifts to him as he rolls up his right sleeve and presents his forearm to you. You gasp at the colorful artwork on his skin while instinctively reaching out for a closer look.
âYou finally got a tattoo?âÂ
Heâs always wanted one, but when Jaehyun was alive it somehow felt wrong. For whatever reason, he hated the idea of having something that would permanently differentiate them. As though the tattoo would make them less identical or weaken their bond.Â
âFigured it was about time.â Your fingers delicately trace along the curves and sharp lines of the ink. But while youâre busy admiring his tattoo, heâs doing the same to you. âItâs a tiger lily. Jae and Iâs birth flower.â
âI remember,â you tell him. âYou drew this yourself. Didnât you?â
His eyebrows rise.
âHow did you know that?â
You shrug again after one last look at the tattoo.Â
âIâd recognize your artwork anywhere.â
Jungkook drew all the time when he was younger until he eventually opened the bar and became too busy for the hobby. Whether a hand-drawn birthday card or personalized painting, he often gifted his art to friends and family alike. Heâs always been known for his creative mind in comparison to his twin, but he had no clue you could distinguish his style from other artists.
The notion of you remembering what his brush strokes and shading looks like, even after all these years, causes his heart to beat like a jackrabbit in his chest. In fact, itâs so touching that tears begin to crowd his waterline.Â
âYou know, you make it really fucking hard not to be in love with you,â he notes.Â
That not only pulls more giggles out of you, but a pink blush stains your cheeks and neck.Â
âSorry.â Jungkook smiles while waving your apology off with one hand. âNow I want one,â you pout.
Heâs never taken you for a tattoo person, especially since youâre a self proclaimed hater of needles. Although, the devious side of his brain canât deny how alluring the thought is. Not to mention how amazing one would look on your skin.Â
âMy tattoo artist was great, I can take you to her if youâre really interested.âÂ
âYes, please,â you confirm. âBut will you draw it for me?âÂ
His hand automatically flies to his chest to point to himself.
âMe?â
âWell, duh.â
âYou want me to⊠to draw a tattoo for you?âÂ
You seem totally endeared by his surprised expression, evident by your eyes crinkling in the corners when you smile.
âOf course!â
Every time Jungkook believes he canât possibly fall for you more than he already has, you come in swinging with a steel bat straight to his heart.Â
âThis is where I came after I found out the truth,â you state, changing the subject.
âYeahâŠâ Jungkook awkwardly chuckles. âI know. I checked your location.â He put his hands out in surrender when he realizes how that might come off. âJust to make sure you were safe.â
Once he hears you softly chuckle in return, he lets his arms fall.
âI probably shouldnât have been driving, to be honest, because I could hardly see through my tears. Then I got here and immediately fell to my knees in front of the headstone,â you narrate. âI just sobbed, screamed, and apologized until I was too lightheaded to keep going.â
âApologized?â
You nod while making eye contact with him again.
âYes, because I shouldâve known. Or at the very least, been slower to accept what you were telling me.â
Jungkook isnât able to see your irises anymore when you glance down at the ground.
âDonât do that. Donât victim blame yourself,â he replies. âI lied to you for months.â
âI know. But he was my husband, Jungkook.â A heavy sigh makes your chest rise as you shake your head, seemingly at yourself. âYou didnât kiss or touch me the same. You didnât smell like him or laugh how he did. I mean, you even tasted different. But I just kept chalking everything up to grief, despite that making no fucking sense.â
âY/N, the world itself stopped making sense as soon as Jae wasnât in it.â He nudges your shoulder so you look up. âBesides, I donât think many rational people jump to someone actually being their dead twin brother when they start acting different.â
The gentle smile that appears makes him hopeful youâll stop being so hard on yourself about what he did to you.
âYou make a good point,â you concede.
Even though he would love to just talk about everything and nothing with you, thereâs one more topic he wants to cover.
âUm, do you think itâs a good idea for us to talk about the miscarriage?â He poses. âWe donât have to, I just thought Iâd offer.â
âHmm.â You momentarily mull it over. âHonestly, with so much on my mind lately I havenât had time to even think about it.âÂ
âMe, either.â
âAre you alright?âÂ
Jungkook tilts his head in confusion.
âWhy wouldnât I be?â
âBecuase you lost something, too.â
A hum serves as his initial response. Â
âI never really saw it like that. I mean, logically I know thatâs true, but I was so distraught about what Iâd done it almost felt like penance.âÂ
âMakes sense,â you conclude. âTruth is, my dream of having kids naturally ended as soon as we got the diagnosis. I was perfectly fine with adoption and Jae and I were actually planning on beginning the process later this year.â You shrug your shoulders and meet his eyes. âSo when I found out I was pregnant and miscarrying, it didnât really register with me.â
âYou and Jae wouldâve been amazing parents,â Jungkook wholeheartedly declares.
A huge smile forms on your lips.Â
âHopefully in another lifetime.â He agrees with a nod. âIâm actually getting my tubes tied this spring.â
âWhat?âÂ
Just last month there was a bun cooking in your oven and now youâre burning down the kitchen. He worries youâre only doing so because of him, and thatâs the last thing he wants.Â
âJae and I couldnât have kids together, so even if I do ever fall in love again, it wouldnât feel right having them with someone else.â
âAnd your doctorâs willing to do the procedure when youâre still so young?âÂ
You scoff.Â
âNo. I had to go to three different practices until one of them was touched enough by my sob story about tragically losing my husband.â You click your tongue with evident indignation. âItâs such bullshit.â
Thatâs an understatement. Jungkookâs proud of you for standing up for yourself and choosing to do what you feel is right. Itâs what you deserve after he took away all your agency.
âIt is. Iâm sorry you have to deal with that,â he tells you. âMy mom actually told me about your fertility doctorâs suggestion to ask me to donate.âÂ
The memory must still irk you because you theatrically roll your eyes.
âLet me tell you, Jungkook, I almost started throwing the clipboards in that damn office.â He laughs while a vision of you chucking office supplies around plays inside his head. âThen Jae had the audacity to ask why it was such a terrible idea!â
The mention of his twin acting so clueless brings a smile to his face.
âHe may have been the perfect husband, but he was still just a man.â You chuckle and concur with a short nod. âIâm surprised he didnât react the same way you did. I canât imagine him being comfortable with someone shooting my sperm into you given the circumstances.âÂ
A wave of confusion contorts your features.
âWhat circumstances?âÂ
âOh, my mom also told me Jae knew about my feelings for you.â
It takes a moment for his words to register, but once they do, your jaw drops open.
âAre you kidding?â
âNope! Trust me, I was just as shocked.â
You click your tongue a couple times before glancing at the headstone again.Â
âWhat the fuck, Jae,â you mutter. âAnd he never confronted you about it?â
He shakes his head.
âMom said itâs because he knew Iâd never actually try anything and even if I did, youâd kick my ass.â
His motherâs explanation produces a tandem, warm laugh from the two of you.
âHe sure was right about that.âÂ
Jungkook joins you in turning to face his twinâs grave again as you two allow the wind and rustling of leaves to fill the air instead of your voices.Â
After a little while, you lean over to rest your head on his shoulder and Jungkook naturally follows suit by mirroring the position. You both stay like that for some time and although he doesnât know exactly what youâre feeling, he believes itâs a shared emotion.
For the first time since the night of Jaehyunâs work event, the three of you are finally together again. Itâs how things should be, even if you both wish Jaehyun was physically here beside you.
âI miss him so much,â you whisper.
âYeah.â
Itâs difficult for Jungkook to respond with anything else when no words exist to truly capture what itâs like living without him.Â
âEveryday I find something new to miss about him. Like yesterday, I remembered how he would always squish my cheeks and shout âkawaiiâ whenever I did something cute.â A deep, solemn sigh makes your chest rise and fall. âI always pretended it was irritating, but I would give anything to hear him do it again. Even just one more time.â
Jungkook hums in response before an idea flickers inside his head and he sits up to face you.Â
âClose your eyes,â he instructs.
âWhy?â
You look skeptical, so he flashes an encouraging grin in your direction.Â
âJust trust me.â
Although youâre hesitant, you soon straighten your spine and shut your eyes.Â
Jungkook takes a second to survey your features without you seeing him do so. Being around you brings him more peace than anything else in the world and heâs just grateful to be sitting here in front of you.Â
He recalls almost nine months ago on the morning of the funeral when he spoke to you as himself to cheer you up. It made you feel better back then and he hopes itâll do the same today.Â
His twin used to do this to you all the time, so Jungkook remembers his exact tone of voice and mannerisms.
Following the short reverie, he inhales and gently clutches your cheeks with one hand. He ignores the questioning glance you shoot him. Although, he canât deny how cute you look with your face all scrunched up.Â
After another deep breath, he focuses on his memories of Jaehyun before wiggling your head back and forth.Â
âKawaii!â He mockingly cheers to imitate his brother. Â
You immediately beam brighter than the sun as your eyes fly open and a laugh rises from deep in your belly. Jungkook shares in your giddiness, but he also notices fresh tears falling down just above his fingertips.Â
âThat was spot on,â you assure him.Â
Before letting your face go, he wipes away the droplets on your cheeks.Â
âIt helps when you have the same voice.â Jungkook feels a sense of accomplishment when you chuckle and your smile persists. âIâll do that for you anytime you want, Y/N. Other stuff, too, if you think of it.â He lays his hand over your own where itâs resting on your thigh. âJust because Iâm not pretending to be him anymore doesnât mean I canât help keep his spirit alive.â
The grin on your lips broadens.
âI think Iâd like that.âÂ
A silent calm moves through the air and settles over the scene. Even with all the grief and pain between you, itâs clear you both agree about wanting to fix whatâs been broken.Â
Jungkook still canât really believe it. He also doesnât feel like itâs what he deserves, but he isnât going to question you. His actions already ripped away your independence and free will, whether initially good intentioned or not. So heâs ready to simply stand by your side and follow your lead.
âIâm really happy to have you back. I missed you so much when I thought you were dead.â You rest your free hand on the growing pile of appendages and squeeze, leading him to complete the stack. âMy Kookie.â
Your familiar, effervescent smile could heal even his deepest wounds all on its own. Not to mention hearing his nickname pass through your lips again after so long.Â
âI missed you, too.â He lets go of your hand so he can tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. âMy sweet Cupcake.â
By now youâre both grinning like little kids as you rest your head in his open palm.Â
You two stay in the cemetery for a little while longer; sharing memories of Jaehyun, catching up some more, and reminiscing about your lives together so far. Jungkook further explains his feelings for you by detailing how contradictory they are at times. In return, you open up about your experience while he was pretending to be your husband and how youâve been coping with the truth since.
For instance, how it would give you pause whenever heâd slip up, but you could always think of more logical reasons for his actions than him not being Jaehyun. And it was only once you were faced with the indisputable fact of a miscarriage that you couldnât deny it any longer.Â
As you said the night you found out, you needed Jaehyun to be alive, so as long as your brain could rationalize his behavior, you werenât going to question him.Â
You elaborate about how your doubts were subconscious, rather than something running through your head all the time. Jungkookâs someone you trusted, and you also had no idea he had feelings for you, so accusing him of taking your husbandâs place was the last thought on your mind.Â
In terms of afterwards, you tell him every dayâs a different story. Most are full of despair, others are confusing, but sometimes you feel at peace.Â
Jungkook actually chooses to remain even after you head home for the evening. Since the daunting conversation with you is behind him now, thereâs only one person left to apologize to.Â
A few minutes after you leave him alone on the bench, he stands to walk towards the headstone bearing his brotherâs name. He hates the sight of it, if heâs being totally honest, because it still doesnât feel right for Jaehyun to have a grave at all. But he can still admit itâs a gorgeous testament to who his twin was.Â
âHey, Jae,â he greets him while sitting cross legged on the ground in front of the monument. âIs this alright? I mean, Iâm not sitting on you. Am I? I figured this is more like when Iâd throw myself on your bed while you were studying or something.â Of course, thereâs no response, but then again he never needed one even when Jaehyun was alive. They could always communicate without words. âI, uh, donât really know how to start. Apologizing to our folks, Jennie, and even Y/N seemed fairly simply even though I was nervous as hell. But you? I think youâre the person I hurt most of all. I know that sounds terrible considering theyâre here and youâre not, but none of them died so I could live.â A couple tears roll down his cheeks, but he doesnât bother swiping them away. âY/Nâs right. You fucking gave up your life for me and just like always, I was too damn stubborn to accept it. I lost count of how many times you offered to help me over the years, in a million different ways, and I rejected you every time because of my own insecurities. I shouldâve been shouting from the rooftops about what you did for me. Telling everyone I came across how my brother chose to leave everything behind; his accomplishments, his family, the love of his life, just so Iâd survive. But instead I threw your sacrifice away like it meant nothing.â Heâs crying much harder now, leaving him no choice but to use his sleeve so he can still see. âIâm so sorry, Jaehyun. I messed up. I betrayed you. Before your wedding you made me promise to take care of Y/N if something ever happened, and I fucking failed you.â It takes Jungkook a moment to catch his breath, but then he places his hand on the tombstone, right over where the word âbrotherâ is engraved. âI swear to you Iâll uphold that promise from now on and forevermore. Iâll do it right this time; watch over her as myself instead of pretending to be something Iâm not. And we can⊠we can talk about the feelings stuff another time. Iâm actually a little peeved you kept that shit to yourself. But anyway, I know you might not be able to forgive me yet and I understand. I just hope by the time we meet again, youâll welcome me with open arms.â Jungkook stares at the lettering while blinking back more tears before his emotions propel him forward until his forehead meets the stone. âI love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.â He sighs and forces his eyes shut, trying to picture his twin sitting across from him. âIâm gonna live the best life possible, Jae. As me. For you. For both of us.âÂ
Maybe heâs crazy, or sleep deprived, but he swears he hears a faint echo of his twinâs laughter, almost like his response to Jungkookâs apology is: âOf course, I forgive you, you loveable idiot.â
He misses Jaehyun more than any words in the multitude of human languages that exist can describe. His life will always feel like something's missing, but heâs also certain there isnât a single step heâll take where his brother wonât be right beside him.Â
After that night, you and Jungkook begin to rebuild your relationship brick by brick through visits to each otherâs homes or the bakery, running errands together, and going on adventures you never have before. Including you finally teaching him how to figure skate and him taking you on your first ever motorcycle ride. You also try deep sea fishing off Jeju Island, hiking Dobongsan Mountain, and even a weekend trip to Japan.Â
Itâs all strictly platonic, but just like the last decade and a half, Jungkook doesnât mind. Heâll wait forever if thatâs what it takes, and he wonât complain even if you end up never wanting more. Simply being in your life is all he needs and without his better half, your friendship means more to him than ever before.Â
About eighteen months later, three months after the second anniversary of Jaehyunâs death, you finally ask Jungkook if heâs interested in testing more romantic waters with you. To no oneâs surprise, he enthusiastically accepts without hesitation.Â
You both agree on upholding the deal you made in the cemetery to start from scratch. Jungkook even goes the extra mile by deleting your contact from his phone. His antics send your eyes rolling back, but thereâs also an endeared grin on your lips while you re-input your number.Â
The day of your first date goes by way too fast. Jungkook swears he just woke up and yet when he checks the clock, itâs already time to get ready. Perhaps itâs because heâs more anxious about tonight than heâs ever been in his entire life.Â
Thereâs honestly no reason to be. Youâre his oldest, dearest friend and you always have fun together no matter what you choose to do. Although even that knowledge doesnât stop his fingers from shaking as he buttons up his shirt and throws on a coat.Â
His new apartment is close enough to the restaurant to walk, so he decides to let the fresh air calm his nervous system.
He arrives ten minutes before the agreed upon time, but heâs thankful because even after the brief stroll, he needs a second to slow his racing heartbeat and quiet his mind.Â
Jungkook dives face first into the menu as a distraction while he waits. Except itâs hardly any use because he ends up deciding on all his courses within the first five minutes.
His leg incessantly bounces beneath the table before he holds his knee down to stop the movement. Thatâs when he decides to pray to whoever might be listening to save him from sweating through his clothes. Â
If anyone, he believes Jaehyunâs watching over him. Sometimes heâs positive he can sense his twin beside him or hear his voice in his ear. Itâs comforting, even if it might very well be all in his head.Â
He hopes Jaehyun isnât upset with him. If heâs still pissed about what Jungkook did immediately following his death, thatâs reasonable. What he doesnât want is for his brother to be angry at him for moving on with you.Â
Jungkookâs fully aware heâll never be able to replace Jaehyun, nor would he want to. His twin wasnât just your first love, but the love of your life.
Now, that doesn't mean you and Jungkook canât live a long, happy life together full of devotion. Because if he learned anything from his mistakes, it's that love can manifest in multiple different forms, none of which are any less than another.Â
Heâs too deep in his reverie to hear the footsteps approaching his table. It takes someone rapping their knuckles against the wood and speaking to grab his attention.Â
âYou must be Jungkook.â
The familiar, yet distant phrase forces his gaze away from the menu as his head slowly lifts to reveal the person standing across from him.Â
Youâre smiling, but as soon as your eyes meet, it becomes a smirk while you playfully tilt your head to one side.Â
Perhaps it wonât make sense to anyone else, but you somehow look identical to when you two first met and entirely different. Your brilliance, charisma, and beautiful features are all the same, but itâs also clear youâre older, wiser, and more refined.
All Jungkook can think about is how lucky he is to be able to witness so many versions of you. He wishes Jaehyun had the same opportunity, but heâs certain his twin is always admiring you from above. Just as he did every day of his life here on earth.
The memory your words trigger in his brain instantly paints a huge smile on his face and elicits a warm, nostalgic chuckle as he maintains your eye contact.
Despite it feeling like almost a whole other lifetime, Jungkook knows precisely how to reply.Â
âYou must be Y/N, then.âÂ
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The bad twin | ì ì ê”
as your boyfriend hungrily makes the most passionate love to you, you soon come to the realisation that it's his trouble-making twin brother instead â the 'bad boy' who intrigues you more than anything, the one who often corrupts your thoughts â the man who secretly obsesses over you.
genre â secret pining au, angst, fluff, smut.
pairing â bf's twin brother jungkook x fem reader.
warnings â oc's boyfriend is a dick, cheating, jk is secretly obsessed with oc and a little pervy, explicit language, mentions of intimacy between oc and her boyfriend, a lot of smut between oc and jk (will add specific details in the chapter)
note â had 1k words of this in my drafts for over a year, but after reading and OBSESSING over @wintrbears The wife Trap, I've been extremely motivated finish it up hehe. (thank you for beautiful story and some inspiration, queen!!!)
lmk if anyone wants to be tagged. will post this lil oneshot next month!!
missed you, baby - a min yoongi oneshot pairing: yoongi x f!reader genre: established relationship summary: it's been rough lately. you're on your period and no matter how much you sleep, you're exhausted and depressed. luckily you have a boyfriend who has no problem busting down your door because he misses you. warnings/tags: just fluff, very sweet, mcâs on her period and dealing with some depression, yoongi is the king of acts of service, i just love to imagine a man who pays attention and gives a fuck wc: 1.7k notes: not proofread or beta'd and i kinda rushed the ending oh well. but be proud that i was able to write something without smut lmao. sorry it's only 1k. thank u to aqua @glossdebut for reading through some of this <333.
Youâre so tired. Youâve been lying in bed all day. Really all weekend. The whole entire week was exhausting, work stressful, school draining. And to top it all off, youâre on your period. You havenât looked at your phone since it died yesterday afternoon. Itâs almost 7pm on Saturday. You should charge it. Yoongi hates when you donât check in after a day or so. But you donât think you can muster the strength to even move out from under the covers.
Then your doorbell rings and you groan and throw the covers over your head. Maybe someone is just at the wrong door. You can only hope. You miss your boyfriend horribly, but you feel like shit, you havenât showered, or eaten, or tidied up, and your cramps are killing you. Youâre the definition of a hot mess. And he hasnât seen this kind of hot-mess-you yet.
Closing your eyes, you silently beg whoeverâs at the door to go away, but they fly open at the sound of a key turning in your lock and you spring out of bed. Blood rushes down to your legs and up to your head as you rush out of your room because the last thing you need is Yoongi witnessing your rock bottom. Heâs stepping out of the foyer, shoes neatly tucked in the corner, by the time you skid into the living room, blanket flailing behind you like a cape.
âUh, hi,â you greet lamely, moving to get in his way of further entering your apartment. âYou couldnât wait for me to answer?â Fuck, you sound mean. Pms has gotten the best of you.
Despite your tone, he smiles. This guy just has to make it hard to shut him out. âI thought you might be asleep.â
âI wasnât,â you say, self-consciously wrapping your blanket beneath your neck to hide as much of you as you can.
He turns his snapback backwards, revealing his entire pretty face. âWell, I havenât heard from you in a few days, my love. I know you need your space, but I need to know that youâre alive. Why else would you give me your spare key?â
âSo that you can bring it in case I lose mine.â
He puts his free hand on his hip, leveling you with a playful glare. âIâm your boyfriend, not a locksmith.â
You shrug, and glance over your shoulder, checking to make sure your unkempt living room didnât manage to become more unkempt just because he showed up.
âAre you gonna let me in or am I just gonna be your food delivery guy?â
âItâs a mess in here. Iâm a mess.â
He tilts his head. âBabe, when have I ever cared?â
âI care. I hate that youâre seeing me like this.â
âI just like seeing you. No matter what state youâre in.â
You stand there like a statue as you go to war with yourself because you miss him but youâre having a hard time believing he doesnât care that it looks like a category 5 tornado ran right through your place.
âItâs not that bad in here,â he says, stepping around you to head for the kitchen. Okay, mind reader. âJust come eat.â
âIâm gonna shower first.â
He just nods and sets the food on the counter to unpack it. Halfway through your glorious shower, you pause when the bathroom door squeaks open. Instinctively, you reach for the handle to adjust the temperature to a cooler one he can stand, expecting him to join you, but you donât hear his footsteps pad onto the damp, steamy tile. You donât hear anything.
âWhat are you doing?â
All you get in response is a closed door. Okay?
After brushing your teeth, washing your face, moisturizing, and changing into clean sweats, you come back into the main area to find Yoongi in the kitchen washing dishes. The washer is running in the corner, half-empty hamper by the end of the counter. Youâre horrified, that thing was overflowing, clothes smashed against the wall. And he took it upon himself to start doing your laundry?
âPlease donât clean up after me,â you say in a panic, darting into the kitchen.
âCanât hear you,â he says, tapping his earbud, and completely ignores your attempts to stop him from scrubbing a plate. You would be annoyed if you werenât so relieved you donât have to do your dishes tonight. The least you can do is help.
Side by side, he silently passes you one of his earbuds and you finish up with the dishes and wiping down the counters while listening to his playlist, the one thatâs filled with songs you both picked together. You almost start crying when âMansard Roofâ comes on - a song on your playlist that was on in the background when Yoongi first told you he loved you. Corny, you know. But that was the two of you. Before you can reminisce and become more emotional, Yoongi bumps hips with you and loudly sings the lyrics. You shriek when during the bouncing beat of first verse, he grabs your hand and twirls you around, ignoring your shouts of his name as he pulls you into a silly, uncoordinated dance routine. You laugh giddily and the sound surprises you. Leave it to Yoongi to bring out the sun when all youâve known is rain.
âYouâre ridiculous,â you giggle breathlessly when the song ends, pushing at his chest but he remains close. He grins and swoops in for a swift peck.
âYou love it.â He turns around for the food before you get the chance to say you love him.
You sit next to him at the island counter, legs tangled together, picking from each otherâs bowls. Yoongi makes sure you have enough protein, you give him extra vegetables. As you eat, your cramps slowly creep in and get worse, and they become harder to ignore, but you try your best not to let your pain show.
âCramps?â Yoongi asks after you start cleaning up.
âYou can tell?â How the fuck?
âYou make a face.â Oh. You shouldnât be surprised. Your boyfriend is insanely attentive.
âNeed meds?â You shake your head.
âHeating pad?â
âItâs somewhere in my closet.â
âGo get it. Iâll finish up here.â
You canât get over how good he is to you despite the fact that you ignored him for three days. He brought food, did your dishes and laundry, and twirled you around the kitchen when he hates dancing. Just to make you laugh. He put on your favorite chill playlist while you ate together. He didnât ask you about your week, didnât try to push you for answers about why you went MIA. Because he knows you prefer to eat in silence, especially when itâs been a while since youâve eaten. And he knows when youâre in pain because of a face you make? You really hit the jackpot with him. You need to show him how grateful you are.
When you come back to the kitchen, heâs back at the sink, towel drying the dishes and putting them away. You set the heating pad on the island counter and stride up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist, cheek planted on his back.
âIâm sorry I sounded like I didnât want you here,â you apologize, guilt swimming through you. âI just donât want you to think I canât take care of myself.â
He sets down the dishes and swivels around, eyes filled with something that makes you want to shy away as he reaches up to hold your cheek.
âBaby, itâs okay if you canât sometimes, though. God knows Iâve been there. You know Iâve been there.â You sniffle, remembering the times when youâve been in his shoes, worrying about his prolonged silence, wondering if heâs okay, if heâs taking care of himself, showing up unprompted to do it for him. You donât know why itâs hard to accept when he does it for you.
âAnd I love you, or something, so I want to be there for you.â You glance up to the small smile playing on his lips and it spreads onto yours.
ââOr somethingâ?â
His gums show under a grin and you canât help but crack into a full smile. He reaches out to brush the corner of your quirked up lip.
âLove seeing this.â
Youâve known this man for a little over two years and dating him for eight months but he still makes you so, so shy. To hide it, you knock your face into his shoulder, heart melting when his hand smooths up to your neck and his lips press into your temple.
âMissed you,â you mumble into his shirt, tears jumping to your waterline when his scent overwhelms you with comfort.
âMissed you, too, baby,â he says softly.
âAnd,â you sniff. âIâm really grateful for you.â
He tilts up your chin with a knuckle. âI love you.â
Heart bursting, you lean in and kiss him with a full smile, and he holds both sides of your face as he kisses you back - soft and slow and warm and with a silent promise that heâll always care.
âCan I stay?â he whispers after you break apart, feeling dazed and like youâre floating on a cloud.
âPlease.â
âIâll even suffer through watching your favorite show,â he sighs exasperatedly. You roll your eyes. Like he doesnât verbally scrutinize the plot after each episode and make insightful commentary about the charactersâ dynamics.Â
âYou know youâre just as into the drama as I am, stop denying it.â
He shakes his head belligerently. âNo.â
Laugh resonating in your chest, you push him towards the living room, curl up with him on the couch under a big, soft blanket, and get into a huge debate about the direction of the cliff hanger.
Hours later, after making your bed together, you crawl under the covers, each on your designated side, and he pulls you into him as you get settled. You nuzzle into his neck and breathe in his intoxicating and soothing scent. Youâre so comfortable and safe, and now you have a better reason for not leaving your bed. With his beating heart echoing under your skin and his arms wrapped snugly around you, you find yourself the happiest youâve been in a while. You could stay like this forever.
âIâm calling out tomorrow,â you declare against his throat.Â
âGood,â he yawns. âI already did.â
You kiss him in a silent thank you. As you get settled, his hand finds yours under the covers and tangles your fingers together. You go to sleep wondering how many times he can make you fall in love.
.
.
.
bc i haven't posted in a while <3 kinda self indulgent i wrote this when my period was killing me
blanket tent for two | oneshot
Pairing : Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags : boyfriend! jungkook x reader, fluff, pure fluff, comfort, established relationship, power outage AU, monsoon season, domestic bliss, playful banter, fake capitalism, emotional honesty, cuddling, soft jungkook
Summary : When a massive summer monsoon violently knocks out the electricity, your chaotic K-drama marathon is brought to a tragic, sudden halt. Stranded in the dark with nothing but a vanilla-scented candle, an old Monopoly board, and a massive knit blanket, you and Jungkook turn a blackout into a battlefield of absolute nonsense and made-up rules. But as the high-energy banter settles into the quiet rhythm of the rain, the storm outside shrinks your entire world down to a single blanket cocoon, bringing out a soft, devastatingly sweet side of Jungkook that makes the rest of the world completely fade away.
Word Count : ~2.3k (pure tooth-rotting fluff)
Warnings : zero angst, extreme pouting from jungkook, aggressive abuse of fake Monopoly money, excessive cuddling, completely unrealistic board game rules
The thunder didnât just rumble anymore; it performed a full, theatrical percussion solo across the sky, violently rattling the old window panes until they buzzed in their frames. The sound vibrated straight through the floorboards, traveling up through the soles of your bare feet and settling like a low hum in your chest.
A split second later, a sharp, dramatic click echoed through the walls, and the entire house plunged into absolute, pitch-black darkness.
The sudden silence of the television cutting out left an eerie, hollow vacuum in the living room, which was instantly filled by the relentless, roaring drumbeat of the monsoon attacking the glass outside. It felt as though the world had suddenly been swallowed by the sea, leaving your apartment floating like a tiny, isolated island in the middle of a summer tempest.
For a five-second count, there was absolute, unmoving stillness. You sat frozen on the sofa, the remote control hovering in mid-air, your eyes wide as they strained to adjust to the sudden void.
Then, a loud, deeply tragic, incredibly theatrical groan cut through the dark right next to you. It was accompanied by the dramatic rustle of couch cushions and the heavy thud of a body throwing itself backward into the pillows in pure, unadulterated agony.
"No! No, no, no, the chairman was just about to find out that his secret identity had been discovered by his own pet bird! Y/N, why does the power always cut out during the season finale of the most beautifully unhinged drama on television?!"
A match flared to life with a sharp, crisp scritch, casting a sudden, dancing amber glow across the dark living room. Holding the tiny flame carefully between his fingertips, Jungkook shifted to look over at you. The light illuminated his face from below, highlighting the sharp, clean slope of his nose, the wide, sparkling depth of his dark eyes, and the messy fringe of black hair falling softly over his forehead. He looked like a remarkably handsome, friendly ghost who had materialized specifically to complain about television formatting.
His eyes crinkled with deep amusement, a soft, dimpled smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he watched you. "First of all, your priorities in a full-blown weather emergency are truly a work of art."
"Itâs not just a show, Jungkook! Itâs a masterpiece of modern storytelling, and the emotional stakes were at an all-time high," you huffed, already moving.
You dragged the heaviest, thickest, softest cream-colored knit blanket off the back of the sofa, wrapping it tightly around your shoulders, then around your waist, and finally tucking it under your feet until you were a completely sealed, impenetrable, self-sufficient burrito. You shuffled off the cushions and slid onto the floor, sitting cross-legged by the low wooden coffee table. "Itâs freezing in here now that the AC died. Bring the Monopoly board over here. I need to channel my emotional devastation into aggressive fake capitalism."
Jungkook chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that felt incredibly warm and cozy in the dim, chilly room. He leaned over the table, carefully bringing the match to the wick of a thick, three-wick vanilla-scented candle that sat right in the center.
The tiny flames caught, blooming into a steady, golden glow. Instantly, the living room melted into a warm, amber sanctuary. The long, soft shadows stretched up the walls and danced across the ceiling, creating a tiny, insulated universe meant strictly for the two of you. The storm outside felt miles away now, reduced to mere background white noise.
Jungkook climbed off the couch, his long legs moving with a casual grace despite the low light. He dragged the dusty, taped-up board game box out from under the TV stand, blowing a fake puff of air onto it to make it look ancient. He dropped it onto the wooden table with a soft thud and slid down onto the floor right across from you, his knees nearly bumping into yours under the table. The vanilla candle sat exactly between you, flickering like a tiny, domestic campfire.
"You realize I'm not showing you any mercy just because the lights are out, right?" Jungkook warned, his voice dropping into a playfully competitive, gravelly register. He rubbed his hands together, his dark eyes gleaming in the candlelight as he looked at you. "I am going to completely bankrupt you, Y/N. I am going to take every single piece of your fake colorful money, all your railroads, and your absolute dignity."
"Bold words for someone who can barely see which token is the top hat," you teased, leaning forward into the warm circle of light, your chin peeking out from the top of your blanket burrito like a turtle emerging from its shell.
"I am the thimble, obviously. It represents my sharp wit, my precision, and my protective nature." He opened the box, carefully sorting out the metallic pieces with his large hands. He picked up the pair of dice, shook them vigorously inside his closed fist, and blew on them for good luck before giving you a dramatic, intense look that was entirely ruined by the soft, bunny-toothed grin bursting across his face. "Prepare to weep."
He rolled. The dice clattered loudly across the cardboard, bouncing off the Boardwalk square, spinning wildly, and knocking over a little green plastic house.
You squinted through the dim light, tracing the numbers. "Ha! Income tax! One, two, three... yes! Income tax!" You cheered loudly, breaking one arm free from your blanket cocoon to point a finger triumphantly at his nose. "Pay up, Mr. Monopoly. The universe has spoken. It sides entirely with the burrito."
"This is a mistrial," Jungkook argued instantly. He pouted, his lower lip jutting out in that ridiculously dramatic way that always made it physically impossible for you to stay mad at him. He reluctantly counted out a crisp, fake hundred-dollar bill from his neat pile. "The candlelight distorted the gravity of the dice. The wind from the storm clearly affected the trajectory of the roll. I demand a legal, internationally recognized recount."
"There are no recounts in the monsoon, Jungkook. Pay the fine or go directly to jail."
For the next hour and a half, your living room became a chaotic battlefield of absolute nonsense, terrible accents, and breathless laughter. Because the dim, flickering candlelight made it nearly impossible to read the tiny, faded print on the "Chance" and "Community Chest" cards, you both simply started making up the rules as you went along, weaponizing the dark to your advantage.
When you landed on his carefully built-up Marvin Gardens, you confidently argued that "monsoon amnesty" was a legally binding clause in the official, invisible rulebook. You claimed that tenants were legally exempt from paying rent if the property was currently experiencing a power outage lasting longer than four minutes.
"Show me where it says that," Jungkook demanded, leaning across the table, his face getting so close you could see the tiny, dancing reflection of the candle flame in his dark pupils. You could smell the faint mint of his toothpaste. "Show me the legal text, Y/N. Point to the clause."
"It's written in special, invisible emergency ink, specifically for natural disasters," you replied with a completely straight face.
Jungkook let out a dramatic gasp, throwing his hands in the air and slumping back against the sofa behind him. "Unbelievable. Corporate corruption at its finest. I am being swindled in my own living room."
But, of course, he let you get away with it, a fond, soft smile tugging at his lips as he handed you zero dollars.
Ten minutes later, the tables turned. He landed on your Boardwalkâwhich you had aggressively loaded with three hotels using a suspicious amount of pink five-hundred-dollar bills. Jungkook didn't even try to argue or make up a rule. Instead, he clutched his chest, let out a piercing, theatrical gasp, and fell completely sideways onto the hardwood floor. He lay there entirely flat, arms crossed over his chest, eyes closed, playing dead.
"I'm gone," he groaned from the floor, his voice muffled against the plush rug. "The financial stress has taken my soul. You are now playing against a broken spirit. My ghost will haunt this board forever."
"Jungkook, get up, you still owe me two thousand dollars. Ghosts still have to pay rent."
"Ghosts don't carry wallets, Y/N. My earthly assets are currently frozen in the afterlife," he wailed dramatically, making spooky, high-pitched ghost noises until your stomach hurt from laughing so hard. You picked up a crumpled wad of fake fifty-dollar bills and threw them at his face until he finally sat back up, shaking his hair out of his eyes and grinning like a triumphant kid who had successfully distracted you from his debt.
Slowly, however, the frantic, high-energy banter began to wind down, matching the steady, hypnotic rhythm of the rain outside. The storm seemed to settle into a deep, heavy pour, a thick sheet of water rushing down the glass in beautiful, shimmering waves. The air in the room grew noticeably cooler, a slight draft sweeping across the floorboards as the apartment building grew quiet.
You shivered slightly, pulling the knit blanket tighter around your shoulders, your teeth clicking together once in the quiet.
Jungkook noticed instantly. The playful, competitive spark in his eyes vanished in a heartbeat, replaced by an immediate, quiet attentiveness that always made you feel incredibly looked after. Without a single word, he abandoned his neat piles of colorful property cards, stood up on his knees, and moved around the low table to slide down right next to you on the floor.
"Hey," he murmured softly, his voice dropping into a low, soothing register that felt like a warm hug in the dark.
Before you could respond, he reached out with his large, warm hands, took a loose corner of your massive knit blanket, and draped it over his own broad shoulders. With a gentle, steady pressure against your waist, he tugged you sideways until your body was pressed completely against his side.
The contrast was immediate. Jungkook was incredibly warm, like a personal radiator. As you leaned into his side, you closed your eyes, inhaling the comforting, familiar scent of his clothesâa mix of fresh laundry, a hint of the vanilla candle, and that distinct, clean, earthy scent that belonged entirely to him.
"Better?" he asked, his arm winding securely around your waist, his fingers splaying flat against your hip to pull you securely into his space.
"Much better," you whispered, letting your stiff muscles relax.
Suddenly, the vastness of the dark, powerless house didn't feel intimidating or cold anymore. Wrapped together in the shared knit cocoon, you felt incredibly small but completely, untouchably safe. You rested your head against the sturdy, comfortable curve of his shoulder, your eyes drifting back to the center of the table where the vanilla candle flickered, casting golden ripples of light across the abandoned, messy game board.
Jungkook rested his chin gently against the top of your hair, exhaling a long, slow breath that stirred a few stray strands of your hair. His large hand rested against your hip, his thumb moving in slow, rhythmic, lazy circles over the fabric of your shirt. It was a silent, comforting motion, a reassuring beat that said I've got you, I'm right here. The playful, dramatic storm you had manufactured inside the house had completely cleared, leaving behind a profound, weighted stillness that felt almost sacred.
For a long time, neither of you spoke. There was no need to fill the silence. The world outside was loud, chaotic, and drowning in a summer tempest, but inside your little circle of golden light, everything was completely still.
"You know," Jungkook said after a quiet, lingering minute, his deep chest rumbling soothingly against your cheek as he spoke, his voice soft and thoughtful. "I was having a really stressful week. Just... a lot of noise in my head. Deadlines, training, feeling like I was constantly running out of time, trying to keep up with everything."
You shifted your head slightly, tilting your face up to look at him through your lashes. The golden candlelight traced the sharp line of his jaw, the soft curve of his lips, and the incredibly vulnerable, tender expression in his eyes. "Yeah?" you murmured softly, your heart swelling at his honesty.
"Yeah," he whispered, turning his head to look down at you. He broke his hand free from the blanket for a moment, his fingers gently brushing a stray lock of hair away from your forehead, his knuckles scraping softly against your cheek before tucking the strand carefully behind your ear. His touch was incredibly lingering, hesitant, as if he were handling something fragile and infinitely precious to him.
"But the second the lights went out," he continued, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that made your breath hitch, "and it was just you complaining about a television show in the dark, and making up ridiculous rules to beat me at a board game... all of that noise just stopped. It completely disappeared."
He looked into your eyes, his gaze heavy with an unspoken depth of affection that made your throat tighten. He pressed his palm against the side of your face, his thumb softly wiping across your cheekbone. "Itâs like the whole world shrank down to just this room, just this blanket. And I realized... I don't miss the rest of it at all. I don't need any of it, as long as I have this."
The raw sincerity in his voice hit you like a sudden, emotional wave. It wasn't the loud, teasing affection he usually used to make you fluster during the day; it was the quiet, devastatingly sweet kind of honesty that catches in your chest and makes your eyes burn with happy tears. It was the realization of just how completely you held his heart in your hands, and how safely he held yours.
Slowly, you reached your hand out from the warmth of the blanket and placed your open palm against his chest, right over his heart. Beneath the soft cotton of his shirt, his heart was beating a steady, powerful, reassuring rhythm beneath your fingers.
"I'm glad the world disappeared then," you whispered softly, your fingers curling slightly into the fabric of his shirt, holding onto him.
"Me too," Jungkook murmured, his voice thick with emotion. He leaned down, his eyes closing as he pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. He held the kiss there for a long moment, breathing you in, his lips warm against your skin, before resting his cheek back against your hair. He pulled you even tighter against his chest, closing every single inch of distance between you until you could feel the exact rhythm of his breathing matching yours.
You sat together in the dim, golden sanctuary, watching your intertwined shadows dancing softly against the far wall, completely untethered from time, responsibilities, and the outside world. It felt like a memory you would keep stored away in a glass jar, perfect and untouchable.
Zap.
A sudden, brilliant, aggressive flash of artificial light illuminated every single corner of the room, followed instantly by the loud, mechanical, high-pitched hum of the refrigerator kicking back to life. The overhead ceiling light snapped back on, harsh, white, and blindingly bright, violently shattering the golden, candlelit bubble you had spent hours building.
You both blinked rapidly, wincing and squinting up at the ceiling in perfect, miserable synchronization.
"Oh, turn it off," you groaned, instantly burying your face directly into the warm crook of Jungkookâs neck to shield your eyes from the aggressive light, your hands gripping his shoulders. "It's too bright. The simulation is ruined. Tell the electric company I am filing a formal complaint."
Jungkook let out a sudden, loud, breathless laughâa deep, beautiful sound that vibrated joyfully right against your own chest. He didn't make a single move to get up and hit the light switch. Instead, with a mischievous grin spreading across his face, he grabbed the edges of the heavy cream knit blanket and pulled it all the way up over both of your heads, draping it over you like a low, protective roof.
Beneath the heavy fabric, the harsh ceiling light was completely blocked out, and you were plunged back into a dark, private, insulated tent of your own making.
In the shadows of the blanket, his face was mere inches from yours again. You could feel the warm, steady puff of his breath against your lips, smelling faintly of sweet vanilla. His eyes were sparkling with a soft, playful light, his bunny teeth peeking out as his smile widened in the dimness.
"Honestly?" he whispered, his voice full of gravity as he leaned forward to gently nudge his nose against yours in a sweet, lazy edit of a kiss. "The electricity can take its time going back to sleep. We still have a corporate dynasty bird to find, Y/N."
SOLITARY CREATURES
pairing | matt murdock x reader
summary | Your ex-boyfriend, Matt Murdock, breaks no-contact when he needs someone to patch him up. But are things really over between you?
warnings | exes to maybe-lovers, goofy/sarcastic reader, hurt/comfort, banter, Catholicism, injury and blood, ambiguous ending that leans hopeful, matt is shirtless, whale sharks
wc | 3.8k
MATT'S LIVING ROOM SWIMS IN SHADES OF BLUE.
You glance sidelong at the electronic billboard posted outside his windows. âThe aquariumâs got a new whale shark exhibit,â you tell him.
The ad shows a whale shark â surprise surprise â swimming up to greet smiling guests. In bold white letters, the ad reads: Come Meet the Gentle Giant
You frown.
âDo you think they only have one?â you ask, then immediately feel like a moron when you remember Matt canât see the billboard. âIt says gentle gi-ant,â you explain, ânot gi-ants.â
Mattâs response is a pained groan.
Heâs lying flat on the couch. Shirtless, bruised, bloody â classic Matt.
Youâre kneeling in front of the couch, an open first-aid kit at your side. Youâve got a needle pinched between your fingers, threading it with what is definitely not medical-grade thread.
Eventually Matt chokes out real words.
âWhale sharks are solitary creatures,â he says. âThey only gather to eat.â
Hmph.
You donât like the way he answered. Casual. Or as close to casual as someone can get while fighting for breath. Like this isnât weird. Like a whole year hadnât passed since the last time you were in a room together. Like youâre still his girlfriend, entitled to a serious response to every âWould you still love me if I was a worm?â-esque question.
âWell thatâs sad,â you say.
Matt shakes his head. Pretty stupid since every movement seems to cost him, but itâs clear he means to comfort you. âThey prefer it that way. Besides,â he winces, âis it the aquarium down on Surf? The buildingâs too small. Even if they tried, they probably couldnât get a permit for more than one.â
âThen maybe they shouldnât have any.â
âEven if whale sharks prefer to be alone?âÂ
Your traitorous eyes flick up from the needle to his lips. No one prefers to be alone, you almost tell him.
But thatâs too vulnerable. Too close to an admission.
Instead, you say, âEven if.â
A flash as the billboard changes. New colors bathe the living room: bright red and bleach white. You donât have to look to know what ad is on display.
The emergency room wait time for Metro-General.
Ironic.
If it was up to you, thatâs where Matt would be right now. In a real hospital, getting real medical treatment.
But thatâs an old argument, and vigilantes are stupid by nature. âWhy would I need a doctor?â asks a dying vigilante. âThis random civilian has seen Greyâs Anatomy, right? Thatâs basically an M.D. crash course. Someone, quick! Give them a sewing kit before my intestines meet a Brooklyn sidewalk.â
With the needle readied, you chew your bottom lip and consider Mattâs injuries. His muscled torso is a sweaty mess of slashing cuts. The worst cut steals your attention, a straight line from the top of his hipbone to a little past his belly button. Looking at it turns your stomach. Itâs one of the wounds that reminds you the human body is nothing more than a meat sack.
You swallow bile â swallow fear â and reach for one of the hand towels beside the first-aid kit.
Gently â very, VERY gently â you dab the towel against his bloody wound.
Matt writhes, arching off the cushions.
âSorrysorrysorry!â You hardly recognize your own voice. Youâre too focused on Matt, his clenched teeth stifling a groan, fists curling at his sides.
Apologies donât cure pain.
Distraction might.
âHave I ever told you how much I hate that billboard? I mean, donât get me wrong! I miss penthouse living every day. But you know what I donât miss? Falling asleep on the couch and waking up to the lights of a hemorrhoid cream ad burning into my retinas.â
True. You do hate the billboard, and you do miss Mattâs apartment.
Your current apartment is a shoebox that Foggy helped you score two days post-breakup. To call it a hellscape would be too kind. The lights are all faulty, a massive roach has squatterâs rights under your white refrigerator, and youâre one hundred percent certain that Frank Castle lives down the hall.
Youâve been careful to keep that last bit hush-hush. If Foggy or Karen were to find out that you share a mailroom with the Punisher, theyâd definitely tell Matt.
Not that Matt would care.
âŠ
âŠ
âŠ
Okay, fine. Matt would care. About everything.
Heâd go on for hours about the risk of electrical fire, how roaches carry E. coli, that your landlordâs violating New York State law by refusing to install a carbon monoxide detector, and oh, yeah, a convicted murderer might knock on your door any day now for a cup of sugar!
Just thinking about it makes your chest hurt. The depth of Mattâs care.
And Matt â sweet, loving, woeful Matt â makes it all worse by saying, âI offered to buy curtains.â
He had.
Countless times.
Once again chewing your bottom lip, you toss the towel aside. Youâd cleaned enough blood to see what Meredith Grey wouldâve called subcutaneous tissue. Or maybe she wouldnât have. Maybe itâs something else. Greyâs Anatomy, after all, is not an MD crash course.
Either way, the raw mess of his stomach proves what was already obvious: this cut is deeeeeeeeeep.
âSure you donât want any pain killers?â you ask him. âIâve got Midol in my bag.â
He shakes his head once.
You scoff. âYou know you donât earn tough guy points for taking it raw, right?â
Matt laughs at your poor phrasing; though âlaughâ might not be the best word for it. Itâs more of an exhale turned cough turned sound of agony, but whatever. You take it as a win! If Matt wants to feel the pain of being a human embroidery project, so be it. At least you managed to distract him for a second, make him chuckle-cough over something silly.
âHold your breath,â you tell him.
His brows knit with confusion. Soon as he starts to ask why, you shove the needle through the edge of the ruined flesh above his hipbone. His question becomes an exclamation that is very un-Catholic.
âThatâll be seven Hail Marys, Murdock.â
A vein pulses at his temple. âFeels more like a Psalm 88 kind of moment.â
âIs that a joke?â You settle into the old rhythm of stitching him up. Needle in, out, pull the thread, repeat. âYou know altar boy humor goes over my head.â
âI was never an altar boy,â he reminds you.
You tut. âHow ableist.â
âNot because Iâm blind.â Amusement flickers through agony, reminding you that pain is second nature to Matt. Youâve only finished one stitch, yet already he can mask a wince when the needle pops through flesh. âI was a nervous kid,â he explains, âespecially in front of crowds. My hands used to shake so much the pastor thought Iâd drop the candles and set the altar on fire.â
âWhat a headline,â you say. âLocal Blind Boy Burns Parish: Godâs Judgment or Innocent Mistake?â
He chuckle-coughs.
You ask him, âCouldnât you have carried the wine?â
âYou mean the body of Christ?â
Your eyeroll is affectionate. âThe wine.â
Transubstantiation is one of those things youâve always filed under Complete Malarkey. How does random bread and crushed grapes become the body and blood of Jesus Christ? By invoking the Holy Spirit? Is that not a form of witchcraft? And why is it cannibalism to eat each other, but not the Son of God?
Catholics are, in your opinion, an awfully confusing people.
Mattâs no exception. A devout lover of God â yet a glimpse up from stitching reveals his mouth curving into a small smile. Heâs always liked your sacrilege. It amuses him. Gives him reason to challenge his faith.
âIf the pastor was too nervous to let me hold a candle,â he says, âyou can bet he wasnât eager to hand me the blood of our Savior.â
âIf only he could see you now,â you say. âWell not now, but in court. Iâve seen you and Foggy tackle plenty of cases in jam-packed courtrooms, and not once have you ever set a judge on fire or spilled Jesus down their moo moo.â
âYou mean the judicial robes they work decades to earn?â
âWhatever. Hey, while weâre on the subject, how come they did away with those powdery wigs?â
âA barristerâs wig?â
âDo you get paid by Big Law to make sure I use their terminology right?â
âI do,â he says, âand youâre cutting into my paycheck.â
You laugh.
A comfortable silence settles.
Mattâs stomach remains tense under your fingertips. But his breaths come easier now â a steady rise and fall that breeds comfort inside you. Itâs easy to lose yourself in the rhythm. Needle in, out, pull the thread, repeat.
The room around you glows pale purple. Itâs easy to lose the present in the past, you realize. Your mind flips through old memories like songs in a jukebox, lingering on a favorite.
You and Matt used to dance in this room. You both had two left feet and spent more time tripping over abandoned takeout containers than actually dancing, but what did that matter? You were always giggling. Matt was always smiling.
The steady weight of his hands on your lower back had been the closest you ever came to finding proof of religion. Because someone like Matt couldnât be the result of some random assimilation of atoms. Perfection at his level required divine planning. The sweetness of spirit mixed with the miracle of light. A pure heart placed inside his chest by the sure hand of God.
But despite what the Bible tells you, God is not an expert craftsman.
Matt is proof of this, too.
When silence stretches into discomfort, you glance up.
Mattâs dead.
Okay â okay, okay! â not dead since heâs still breathing. But he looks dead, eyes shut and lips parted enough to go full cadaver.
You snap, âEyes open, Murdock.â
âWhy?â His quick response eases your nerves, even if he doesnât obey your command. âWant to see if I can tell how many fingers youâre holding up?â
âYou probably have a concussion.â Not to mention a bloodborne illness or two. Whenâs the last time he got tested for hepatitis? âThe last thing I need is for you to fall asleep and never wake up again.â
Youâre pulling the thread through his wound when you notice the smirk in his voice.
âWould you miss me?â he asks.
You hesitate.
Of course.
Of course youâd miss him.
âFoggy will start ditching me for Thursday brunch if I let you die,â you tell him. âDo you know how many waffles your life would cost me?â
Matt opens his eyes. He blinks like his eyelids weigh a thousand pounds. Like they might shut again at any moment.
He keeps them open.
âThree,â he says.
âWaffles?â you ask.
âFingers,â he chuckle-coughs. âThatâs how many youâre holding up. Three.â
Amusement bubbles in your chest, rushing up your throat like a Mentos dropped into a bottle of Coke. You try to stifle it, but a lone giggle slips out.
âIâm not holding up any fingers, idiot.â
He huffs softly. âTalk about ableism.â
Youâre offended, perplexed, giggling even more now. âThat was so not ableist!â
âNext youâll claim Braille offers subpar education.â
âSince when did me insulting you become me insulting the entire blind community? And Iâm not even calling you an idiot because youâre blind! Iâm calling you an idiot because youâre an idiot.â
âOuch. So you really think so low of me?â
âI just said so, didnât I?â
His head tilts where it lay on the armrest. âRemember when I graduated summa cum laude from Columbia University?â he asks.
âRemember how you currently look like the victim of a violent anthropomorphic lawnmower?â You smile when he chuckle-coughs. âYeah, not a thing that happens to smart people, Matty.â
The world stutters for a beat. Or maybe thatâs only your pulse, jolting at your embarrassing slip-up.
Matty. You almost curse yourself; what was your tongue thinking?
Matt accepts defeat with a humble âFair enoughâ that doubles as your path of least resistance. Heâs always been good at withholding salt from a wound, giving you time to stew in self-loathing.
You have no doubt he can still hear your heart thumping stupidly against your ribs.
This isnât easy. Being here. Seeing him. Pretending your breakup isnât as much a third party in this room as the billboardâs glaring lights.
Youâve already stitched three-quarters of his wound. You should finish your work in silence. Then leave before he can make this anymore difficult, remind you of some reason to stay.
And yet.
âWhatâs Psalm 88, anyway?â
Matt likes this question.
âYou dated a Catholic for two years,â he says, âand you donât know Psalm 88?â
âSorry, I hadnât realized reading the Bible was a prerequisite for sucking yourââ
Ever a child of God, Matt cuts you off â his voice an octave too high â with a sudden urge to recite.
âLord, I am overwhelmed with troubles and my life is slipping toward death. You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths. You have taken from me my closest friendââ his voice wavers here ââand made me repulsive to them. Why, Lord, do you reject me? From my youth I have suffered. Your wrath has swept over me. Your terrors have destroyed me. They surround me like a flood, engulfing me completely. Darkness,â he says, âis my closest friend.â
You say nothing.
Needle inâ
You think about how pain has always been second nature to Matt.
âoutâ
You think about the breakup.
âpull threadâ
The breakup youâd initiated.
ârepeat.
âNOT TO TOOT MY OWN HORN, but that is going to be one fine scar.â
Half an hour has passed since you finished stitching Matt up. If you were wise, you wouldâve excused yourself the moment you closed the first-aid kit. But excuses are easy to come by, and even easier to make yourself believe.
Iâll stay a little longer, you keep telling yourself. Just to make sure heâs okay.
At some point the two of you switched places. Youâre on the couch now, legs folded underneath you. Matt stands in front of you, testing his body for breaks and sprains â stretching an arm, rolling his neck.
At your comment, he pauses his self-assessment to run his fingertips over the stitches. You track the movement, a slow sweep from hipbone to belly button.
âSome of your best work.â
The praise straightens your posture.
The curve of his lips becomes devilish. âIâm surprised,â he adds. âI thought youâd be rusty.â
âYour faith in me is astounding, Murdock.â
âMy faith in you is boundless,â he shoots back. âBut itâs been a while since you last played nurse.â
With theatrical flair, you say, âAn artist never forgets how to paint.â
âEven if they swore theyâd never touch a brush again?â
Levity drops from the air like a butterfly hitting a bug zapper.
He hadnât meant for it to come out that way. Not resentful, butâŠhurt. You know this because you know Matt, and heâd sooner walk into traffic than make you feel guilty for your choices.
Some relationships are like a winter storm. Rarely do we take the first snowflake to mean danger. Some people even find them beautiful â like noticing the quirks and habits of the one we love. But snowflakes pile up. They become inconvenient. Isolating. And, in some cases, they become dangerous, too.
Sometimes the only way to stay safe is to evacuate.
Matt will never blame you for evacuating.
With a soft sniff, he turns his head toward the windows. Too quiet, he asks, "What advertisement is showing?"
The billboard shines with a dark image, car keys lying next to an empty whiskey glass. "Think twice," you read aloud, "don't drink and drive."
Matt nods. "Good message."
You nod. "Indubitably."
Matt keeps facing the windows, but your own focus has already shifted back to him. He looks sad. Confused. Like heâs trying hard to hide both emotions, yet failing miserably.
A flash as the billboard changes. White light illuminates Mattâs profile â bruised, bloody, beautiful as ever.
As if he knows the ad has changed â as if he can hear it somewhere, electrical pulses whispering secrets only to him â he asks, âHow about now?â
You donât answer. You donât know.
You canât look away from him long enough to find out.
âI wouldâve bought curtains,â he mumbles, and you donât know what heâs talking about. Then it hits you. Your confession about the billboard, how you always hated it. âIf you wouldâve told me the light bothered you, IâŠâ He swallows. Calls upon shaky confidence, betraying that what he says next lives somewhere between truth and wishful thinking. âI wouldâve fixed it.â
Your eyes start to burn.
He wouldâve tried, you know. He wouldâve tried.
You find yourself rising off the couch. Taking a step â two, three â to close the gap between you. Matt looks away from the windows and you swear he can see you. He does, in that peculiar way of his. Through soundwaves bouncing off your skin. The smell of your shampoo. The rhythm of your heartbeat.
âI know,â you say.
âThen why didnât you tell me?â he asks.
âIâm telling you now, arenât I?â
âBack then. Why didnât you tell me back then? It wouldâve been an easy fix.â
Your laugh is half-sob. âNo, Mattââ
He reaches up to cup your cheek. âYes,â he whispers.
It takes Herculean effort not to lean into his touch. You manage, but donât pull away from him, either.
âFine. Youâre right. Curtains would be an easy fix. Get on Amazon and theyâll be here in ten seconds. But what about the bigger issues? The lies? The secrets? You trying to get yourself killed?â
He winces. âIâm not dead yet,â he tries to argue.
âYet,â you say. âKey word, Matty.â
An awful key word. One that had been haunting you for far longer than the year you two had been apart.
You had never wanted to leave Matt. And if youâre being honest, you hadnât even left because of the lying and the secrets â though they were factors. When it came down to it, youâd left because Matt was on a suicide mission. Because you wouldnât survive watching him die.
Only now â with the warmth of his hand on your cheek â can you see the flawed logic in your breakup plan.
Sure, leaving Matt ensured you wonât be front row for his death. That it wonât be you holding pressure to wounds that canât be stitched, crying âLord, why do you reject him? Your perfect soldier, your pure-hearted boy?â
But that doesnât free you from pain.
Youâll feel Mattâs death as a ripple effect through Foggy and Karen. You'll feel it inside of you, when his last breath severs the invisible string connecting you to him and him to you.
Distance will not spare you.
You will feel it.
It will hurt.
And will all this distance make it hurt worse? you wonder. Until tonight you hadnât realized how unsteady you stood on your decision to leave. A single phone call had been all it took to undo three-hundred sixty-five days of progress. So much time spent assuring everyone you had made the right decision. That youâre happier without Matt. So much time â each second a tally toward a life free from pain, now useless as sand in an hourglass, so easy to flip.
Youâre not happier without Matt.
Youâre not happy, period.
The heat coming off his palm is too much. Does he have a fever? Probably. Is fever a normal response to getting sliced up like salmon on a Hibachi line? You have no clue. You'll Google it if you ever remember how to form thoughts not centered on the flecks of gold in Matt's eyes.
He speaks.
âIâm sorry I called tonight. I know I shouldnât have. I know when youââ He canât make himself say it. So he drags a hand through his hair. Pulls easier words from a bucket labeled: Half-truths. "I know you wanted to get away from all this. From me. And it was wrong of me to drag you back into it, but..." A chuckle-cough. "Whenever something happens...when I'm stressed, or hurt, or...or happy, I..."
His thumb traces your lower lip. Lovingly. Mournfully.
"You're still the only one I want around.â
You're bawling. You hate yourself for it, and you hate him for causing it. You sob and laugh and tell him, "You're a goddamn idiot, Matty."
He smiles at you. "I know."
"It was never you I wanted to get away from."
He hesitates. "I know."
You hate him for that, too. But what else could he have said? You both know nothing can erase the true problem. The Achilles' heel to an otherwise perfect relationship.
Daredevil.
God, you think, how is it possible to hate the mask but love the man behind it?
It's simple, though. You don't hate Daredevil. Can't. He'll be the death of Matt Murdock, but that doesn't make him any less the salvation of Hell's Kitchen.
You sigh. Does that justify it, then? Does some PEMDAS bullshit make it okay that Matt suffers so long as his suffering saves others?
You don't think so.
But you know Matt holds a different opinion.
A stupid opinion, but.
"I wish things were different," you tell him. No jokes. "Maybe we could drop Daredevil off at the shelter. Y'know, like a stray dog who won't stop digging in our trash."
Okay, fine. Some jokes.
Matt chuckles. âI donât think the shelter will take him.â
âCanât say I blame them.â
You donât know when you grabbed Mattâs other hand, the one not touching your face. You only know that youâre playing with his fingers, trying to keep more tears from escaping. He hadnât coughed when he chuckled this time. Does that mean heâs feeling better? You hope so â and hope not, too.
You're not ready to go back to your shoebox apartment. You don't want to crawl into bed alone. Spend all night wondering if walking out Matt's door a second time makes it permanent. What are you supposed to do? Go back to getting all your Matt-related info via Thursday brunch with Foggy? Search for scraps of him in your texts with Karen?
No.
You're not sure you can survive that, either.
But what does that leave?
"Let me buy you dinner."
Your pulse jolts. âMattâŠâ
"Nothing romantic," he promises. Though the way his thumb continues brushing your bottom lip feels opposite of that. "And it doesn't have to change anything. Tomorrow we can go back to our normal lives, pretend none of this ever happened. But tonight...how about pizza? We can call it repayment for you saving my life."
You should say no.
You smile despite yourself. "Fine, but I get to pick the toppings."
A flash as the billboard changes. Shades of blue wash over you both.
Even without Mattâs enhanced senses, you swear you hear joy spark to life in his veins.
"I wouldn't have it any other way.â
A/N | if you've read this far, i am in love with you and i've already booked our flight to Vegas. booked the Elvis impersonator, too. do you have any allergies i should know about? i love you.
seriously, thank you so much for reading! comments and reblogs much appreciated :)
feat. frat!sukuna x populargirl!reader c/w. intended lowercase letter. AFAB!reader. mentioning AFAB!reader x frat!toji. cheating. slightly suggestive (making out) wc. 264 a/n. hi!! this is my first post in tumblr, so it's pretty short. i hope you all like it! dividers from @/pixopix
frat!sukuna knew. everyone knew. anyone who didnât know about your relationship with frat!toji lived under a rock. you were found always together, his muscular arm around your waist as you walked side by side down the halls, his buff body pressed against you as you both danced in the fraternityâs parties.
frat!sukuna reassured frat!toji that nothing would happen between you, since the bottle decided to land on both of you.
frat!sukuna who was shocked when the closetâs door closed, you were already on him. wrapping your arms around his neck, you started placing kisses along his jaw.
frat!sukuna didnât care. it was not his problem after all. it wasnât his girl. so, why not give in? he thought.
frat!sukunaâs burly arms found their way around your waist, replacing frat!tojiâs touch for his. knowing they only had seven minutes, he decided to use the most of it by pressing his lips against yours.
frat!sukuna didnât mind getting his hair messed up with your hands. your fingers running through and tugging his salmon-pink locks. your almond nails scratching his scalp.
frat!sukuna who, for the first time, was disappointed when you pulled away. there was still a minute left.
frat!sukunaâs lips curved into an amusing smirk, tilting his head sideways as he watched your touching up your makeup and fixing your messy hair, all caused thanks to him.
frat!sukuna who was filled with a need to keep you all for himself as he watched you go back to frat!tojiâs arms when the seven minutes had passed. as if it was nothing, as if it had meant nothing.

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â Jealousy
Includes: Logan Howlett, Wade Wilson, Kurt Wagner, Scott Summers, Remy LeBeau, Warren Worthington III & Piotr Rasputin
Summary: how they get when they're jealous
Content/CW -> gn! reader, jealousy/possessiveness, slightly suggestive in some, mostly wholesome
â requested by pookie bear @i-gotta-go-so-much-bigger
froggi yaps -> these have been kicking my ass for dayssss i'm so happy to finally have finished them :,) wade & logan were kind of hard to do since i've already done this prompt w them but still wanted them to be included. enjoy!
Logan Howlett:
Logan likes to pretend like he isnât the jealous type, despite him being the most possessive man alive. Youâre his, and only his, and heâll make damn well sure everyone knows it. His scent is definitely all over you.
If anyone is getting a little too close to you for his likingâmaking you laugh too much, maybe getting a little touchyâLogan is on his feet in an instant, coming up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist.Â
Maybe gets a little too handsy, hands travelling lower to cup your butt, canines grazing the side of your neck. He wonât say anything, heâll just loom there so incredibly ominously until whoever was with you gets the message and leaves.
âLogan,â you warn.
He just grunts, âyouâre mine, you know that?â
And you sigh, suddenly weak in the knees, and nod along to his words. He keeps you extra close afterwards, usually sitting you in his lap and looking sideways at anyone who so much as glances your way.
Wade Wilson:
Wade is absolutely the jealous type but it takes a lot to actually get him going, and when he does, he hides his insecurity behind humour and substances. Still, it gets the best of him sometimes and he just canât help it.
If someoneâs flirting with you, heâs inserting himself into the situation immediately. Heâll sidle up next to you, prop an arm on your shoulder and grin at whoever youâre talking to.
âExcuse us for a moment.â
He wonât even give you a chance before heâs pulling you in for a bruising kiss, tongue swiping along the backs of your teeth. His hands roam your sides, maybe cheekily pinching your butt.Â
You pull away gasping, hands on his chest. âWade!â
âWhat?â He grins goofily, âI couldnât help it, you look so fuckable.â
Kurt Wagner:
Kurtâs not really the jealous type, and when he is jealous, he just gets sad. Heâll watch someone else hit on you and wonder if heâs enough, if you would prefer someone less blue.
Heâll go quiet for a while, maybe get a little distant while he thinks it over. He does his best to reassure himself, remind himself that you love him and you donât want anyone else, but it only gets him so far.
Finally, heâll cave and come to you, dropping to his knees and pressing his face into your stomach. You rest a hand on the back of his head, tilting yours to the side, âKurt, baby, is everything alright?â
He sighs, words muffled by the fabric of your shirt. His words all come out in one big jumble, each one mumbled and bleeding into the next. Still, you get the gist of it: heâs feeling insecure, and he wants to know if youâd be happier with someone else.
You blink, stunned. âOf course not,â you frown.Â
âReally?â He pulls away, looking up at you with wide eyes.
âYes, really.â You reach for his hands, helping him to his feet, âcâmere, silly.â
And Kurt sighs, letting you pull him in for a kiss.
Scott Summers:
Scott either gets really quiet or really arrogant when heâs jealous.
Heâs analyzing the situation, watching you talk with a friend. Heâs focused on the way they get a little too close, the subtle contact they make on your arm, the way your smile changes ever so slightly.
When he canât take it anymore, heâs sidling up to you and throwing an arm around your shoulders. âHey, doll.â
Heâll plant a sloppy kiss to your lips, lingering just a little too long until whoeverâs talking to you gets the message. If heâs feeling extra devious, heâs making a snide comment.
You smack his bicep once theyâre out of earshot. âReally?â
âWhat?â He smiles, feigning innocence, âI just missed you.â
Remy LeBeau:
Remy is so clingy when heâs in love with you so itâs only natural heâd be jealous too. But not the angry jealous type, no, Remy gets sad when heâs jealous.
Someone comes up to flirt with you while youâre at the bar and heâs sitting in the corner pouting, nursing his drink and watching. Someone calls you cute right in front of him and heâs not letting it go for the rest of the day.
âOh thatâs cute of you.â âMhm, yeah, trĂšs mignon.â
However, if someone gets handsy with you, Remyâs on his feet in an instant, cards in hand. Is it too far? Maybe, but he doesnât care.
âThis guy bothering you, amour?â
You take a step back into Remy, letting him wrap an arm around you. âYes,â you say quietly.
Thatâs all he needs to hear before heâs sizing him up and sending him on the way, hand clenched around the desk of cards in his palm.
Warren Worthington III:
Warrenâs jealousy is a lot more low key, but itâs definitely there. He shrugs it off and pretends like he doesnât care but inside, heâs in shambles. The minute someone else tries to flirt with you, heâs at your side, wrapping an arm around you and leaning his head on your shoulder.Â
He smiles but thereâs no humour behind it as he stares down whoeverâs coming onto you.
Sometimes, if heâs been drinking a little or youâre in a safe space for mutants, heâll even go as far as to wrap his wings around you, creating a shield between you and the other person. You roll your eyes, turning to face him in the trap of wings heâs created for you.
âBaby?â
âHm?â His jaw is clenched but his eyes are soft when they find yours.
âCan you let me go?â
He tilts his head down, wings ushering you closer to him for a slow and soft kiss. âNo.â
Piotr Rasputin:
Heâs not really a jealous person to begin with. He knows youâre his and he trusts you enough to believe youâd never do anything behind your back. The rare times he does get jealous is when someone is doing something for you that he could do.
Someone else holds the door? His brows are knitting together. Someone lifts something heavy for you? Heâs frowning for the next hour and a half. Heâs your partner, he should be the one doing all that for you. Heâll spend the next few hours trying to show off, flexing his muscles and doing everything for you.Â
He gets a little sad when heâs jealous, too. Is he not enough for you, would you rather be with someone like that? As secure as he likes to think he is, that all melts away in the face of jealousy.
Finally, heâll come to you, tail between his legs. âDo I make you feel loved?â
You blink, looking up from your book. âOf course you do.â
âReally?â
You dogear the page altogether, putting it down to look at him properly. His lips are pursed in a frown, eyes big and wide with emotions. You rise to your feet, placing your hands on either bicep.
âWhatâs this about, Petey?â
He sighs and admits to his jealousy, head hung low in shame. Itâs only when you cup his cheek and force him to look at you, planting a soft kiss to his lips, that he starts to feel like himself again.
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thanks for reading & have a wonderful weekend /á > Ë <ă âËâčâĄ
SOMETHING LIKE COURAGE
á ášłàŹ Ő summary âËàż
you have never wanted children. at least, that's what you told yourself â until you watched your husband feed your niece ice cream like she hung the moon, and something you thought you'd buried a long time ago quietly came back to life.
ášłàŹ Ő tags/warnings âËàż
fluff, established relationship, married couple, husband!jungkook, girl dad jungkook (technically uncle but we know), discussions of wanting children, emotional confession, soft!jungkook, domestic bliss, a child who commits ice cream crimes, happy ending
ášłàŹ Ő word count âËàż
~2.0k
For years on end, you have stifled the desire to raise children. It isnât a lack of love for the life that could be, but a fear of the world it would awaken toâa place far too jagged for such sweet, cherubic souls. Â
But certainty is often non-linear.Â
Your gaze follows the careful movements of your husband, tending to his five-year-old niece â Hae-in â with the patience he reserves for your late night musings.Â
The little brunette is curled up on his lap with her wondrous doe eyes, tracking the rollercoaster his hand has become as he keeps the spoonful of ice cream just out of her reach, before bringing it to her waiting mouth with a theatrical woosh! noise. And every time, her cheeks flush like peaches under the sun, followed by endearing giggles.Â
Jungkook exists the way gravity does â effortless, inevitable, the kind of pull that makes everything orient towards him. And the moment settles in your heart like an old love letter â tucked way, but never truly forgotten.
However, your body seems to tug you towards the familiar laughter of your lover â bright, unguarded â anchoring you back to the familiar warmth of the living room. Your heart flips at the vision of his head thrown back in delight, eyes turned into tiny crescents that you long to feel under your fingertips.Â
Instead, your words come out a little breathless. Fond. âPenny for your laughter, darling?â
Jungkook barely manages to speak up between those melodic giggles, but his head is tilted slightly towards Hae-in, who is now giving him a traitorous glare for painting her button nose with chocolate ice cream, her cheeks puffed up like sheâs beyond all this.Â
âOh Christââ He canât even finish. Just dissolves back into laughter.Â
For the sake of her tiny pride, you stifle your giggle and press your lips together. Instead, your feet take you toward the adorable crime scene. Crouching down to be on eye-level with her, you flash her an understanding smile. âOh, sweetheart,â you coo, your fingers gentle as they swipe away any traces of the sticky sweetness from her offended nose. âWe must find a way to get back at your Uncle, hmm?â you cheekily suggest, earning an affirmative nod from her.Â
âYes! Uncle Koo-Koo must be punished!âÂ
The enthusiasm in her voice coaxes a warm laugh out of you. Though you seem oblivious to the heart-stopping gaze your husband directs at you. It is only when he lets out a soft gasp â realizing the mischief you directed through your nieceâs ice cream laden fingers, now painting his nose in chocolate brown â that pulls your gaze to his reaction with a victorious smirk.Â
Yet again, any retort he might have ready on the tip of his tongue is swallowed by Hae-inâs chirp voice echoing in the space between you. âSilly Uncle!â
âSilly?! You wound me, princess.âÂ
His lower lip juts out in a childish pout for emphasis.Â
Hae-in giggles, not fazed in the slightest by his theatrics. If anything, her arms reach up to you in solidarity to which you celebrate your successful revenge by scooping her up and your beloved husband receives the playful image of you sticking your tongue out at him.Â
âOh no, my own wife is teaming up against me!â
âHeh. Gotta back up my princess, after all.â
âWoahââ
Hae-in, always one step ahead, declares smugly: âAunt Y/N loves Hae-in more than Uncle Koo-Koo!â
âOh, you bratââ
You laugh, warm and unguarded. Not even realizing the way your loverâs breath stills with something like realization and longing as you cradle Hae-in snugly to your chest and kiss her temple. Old letters are impossible not to revisit.Â
.âïž ĘË
All good things must come to an end â however temporarily â because when Jungsu knocks on your door with a grateful smile and warm hugs, thereâs a bittersweet reluctance that makes home in the space between your ribs. More so when Jungkook bribes Hae-in with more ice cream for next time to which the little sunshine responds by sloppily kissing his cheek.
âUncle Koo-Koo is the best!â
âOh, is he now?â He chuckles knowingly.Â
You, for your part, take it all in with a pensive smile on your lips. The ache in your chest threatens to consume you, but you lock that door and hope, quietly, that Jungkook will find the key. Youâve never been good at saying the thing out loud, but youâre getting better at hoping someone will ask.Â
The journey is always unpredictable, but in this moment â observing the same reluctance in your husbandâs posture, the way his eyes follow Hae-in until the elevator closes behind them â shows you that maybe, just maybe⊠youâre not as alone as you think.Â
.âïž ĘË
With night comes the blooming scent of jasmine, encompassing the air with floral, creamy notes. It mingles with your own scent of sweet coconut and citrus â washing away everything but the stubborn ache in your chest.Â
Occasionally, the ache is stifled when you focus on the steady rhythm of Jungkookâs heartbeat beneath your ear, your head tucked under his chin. But it returns with an persistence thatâs hard to lock away as meaningless. The golden lamplight holds steady. You do not. You ignore it â choosing, instead, to focus on his fingers threading through your hair with tender reverence, his inked arm wrapped around your waist protectively.Â
A moment of silence passes. Then another. You sigh. Lifting your head just enough to glance at him, you note his closed eyelids and the tiny, peaceful smile on his plush lips.Â
"KooâŠ?" you call out, soft and hesitant.Â
"Mm?"Â
He lazily peeks an eye open. "What is it, jagiya?"Â
Despite your scattered thoughts, your lips twitch up in fond amusement at his endearing habit. Heâs all sharp, beautiful curves framed by the amber glow.
As if sensing your conversational demeanor, his eyes flutter open to meet yours with renewed interest and curiosity.Â
âIâve been thinkingâŠâ you start, albeit too careful. âThe day passed beautifully because of Hae-in. Donât you think so?â Â
Waiting for his reply, your thumb caresses over his cheekbone.Â
âYeah,â he murmurs, his own thumb stroking small circles on your hip. âSheâs a delight, really. Got me wrapped around her little finger with a look.âÂ
He chuckles, then adds: âEven if she loved the ice cream more than me.âÂ
A warm huff of agreement escapes your lips. But then you go quiet again. Your thoughts drift before you can stop them. âThe house seemed to bloom with her giggles,â you muse.Â
Jungkook hums low in his throat. His fingers curl around your own as he brings them to his lips for a kiss to each one of your fingers. In-between kisses, he speaksâ âFelt like some kind of untainted melody. I was in awe every time she smiled.â
I was in awe of you, you almost say.Â
Instead, you let the silence speak for itself. The warmth blooms into something sweeter as you reflect on the afternoon spent with your niece.Â
Jungkook props himself up on an elbow this time, his gaze roaming over your face.Â
Itâs as if heâs trying to peek into your soul. âWhat?â you mumble.
He smiles knowingly. âYou looked really happy with her. And she seemed smitten with you.â
âEh, donât flatter me like that.â
âI call it as I see it, jagiya.â A pause, then warmer: âShe adores you.â
Your cheeks flush a charming pink. "She does?"Â
Jungkook hums, but it comes out more like a disbelieving huff. Almost like he can't comprehend how someone could be so unaware of the way she moves through the world â all quiet care and instinctive warmth, like she doesn't even notice herself doing it.Â
âHyung told me sheâs usually very reserved around people, but she immediately teamed up with youââ
That earns him a small laugh from you. He grins, continuing. "So yes, jagiya. She adores you.â
Deep down, maybe the thought had already taken root, but his assurance has made it bloom and settle in your chest like flowers on an endless pathway â briefly lessening the ache. The unknown ache. Where does it lead you? Â
You try to make sense of it, but it tangles like a knot the more you do. But as you think back to the time you spent with Hae-in, youâre reminded of the trust and affection she so sweetly directed at you, and it cracks something open in your chest.Â
A deep, suppressed melancholy.Â
Before your mind even catches up to the frown on your lips, or the single tear slipping down your cheek, youâre being cradled against a broad chest. Jungkookâs warmth envelopes you like a shield against your own thoughts â the familiar woody scent of his skin pulling you back from the longing quietly unraveling at the edges of your heart.  Â
He doesnât demand, doesnât offer empty words â just holds you like a delicate, contradictory poem. âIâve got you, jagiya.âÂ
âKooâŠâ you breathe out, your voice shaky at the edges. âIâ I donât understand what Iâm feeling. Everything feels tangled up with no loose ends.â
âItâs okay, sweetheart. Thereâs no rush.âÂ
His lips brush against your temple in reassurance. âBreathe with me.â
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.Â
Following the instructions, you repeat it until your heartbeat is far less erratic.Â
Even so, your thoughts flow like an endless stream, all pointing to directions youâre too afraid to admit even to yourself.Â
But when his arms tighten around you to hold you more snugly, you reach for the bravery youâve not yet developed. âIâŠâ you start, but trail off soon after.Â
âYou what, jagiya?â he prompts gently, pulling back slightly to look at your face. He brushes a strand of your hair, tucks it behind your ear, and smiles patiently.Â
A soft pause and then:Â
"Whatever it isâyou're not alone, sweet girl," he promises, well aware of how words tend to fail you when it matters most. âNever.â
You search his eyes for something â sincerity? acknowledgement? â and when you find it, the last of your frustration melts away into something like longing.Â
âI want to be a mother,â you confess. Your voice comes out too soft, almost like youâre afraid to let the words exist out in the world.Â
Jungkook goes still as a statue, his mind working hard to process your current words with the reality of your past ones. A flicker of doubt passes over his features. âBabyââ
âNo,â you interrupt gently. âI know what youâre going to say. But, itâs not a temporary âbaby feverâ because of Hae-in. Itâsââ You pause, gauging his reaction. âItâs because of you, Kook. I saw how happy you were with her. And I remember how happy we both were. It made me realize that even when the world is cruel, the softness, the love â it starts with us.â
Jungkook is silent yet again. It lingers in the air like hope and anticipation. You almost take everything back until you notice the tears welling up in his eyes.Â
âHey, heyââ You palms cradle his face with reverence preserved for prayers. âWhatâs wrong, honey? Did I say something wrong?âÂ
He shakes his head. âNo, no. Itâs justâŠâ Sighing softly, he leans in until your foreheads are pressed together. âIâm so overwhelmed with emotions, jagiya. Thatâs all.âÂ
âDo you want to talk about it?â you offer warmly.Â
Thereâs a moment of silence as he gathers his thoughts. When he speaks up, his warm breath ghosts over your lips.Â
âI didnât expect this. I never thought youâd change your mind,â he admits. âAnd itâs not that I wasnât happy earlier â it was a mutual agreement, after all â but⊠if this is what you truly want, thereâs no one else I'd rather start a family with, jagiya."Â
âI want this, Koo,â you affirm, the tip of your nose brushing against his. âI think Iâve been haunted by the narrative of my own childhood for the longest time. But after seeing how naturally we fit in with Hae-in â it gave me something like courage.â
âYouâre not your parents, jagiya. Their patterns are not yours to carry anymore."
âI know that now.âÂ
(Male) marvel rivals characters and their favorite ways to fuck you
Authors note: Iâll probably do a girl version soon, playing this game makes me so horny
nsfw 18+, fem reader, overstim, spanking, creampie
Adam Warlock:
He loves the look of you on your back, pretty doe eyes blinking up at him as he rocks into you at an even pace, legs locked behind him. He always insists on stripping you naked, wanting no scrap of clothing to cover your body from his gaze. And of course, this extends to him as his golden skin shimmers with sweat above you. His hand usually finds a home entangled with yours, his other arm braced on the mattress, allowing you to squeeze and feel his comforting grip. The words that tumble from his mouth as your pussy grips his cock like a vice are always sickly sweet like honey, praising the way you look squirming under him, the way your features contort with pleasure, the way your eyes look hazy with tears as he keeps going after you cum. âThose sweet eyes on me are the most powerful aphrodisiac in the universeâ heâd say, honesty pouring from his tone, not even realising how flustered his words make you as tears begin to roll down your cheeks at his unstoppable movements. Because he doesnât stop, he canât. He has to see you experiencing the heights of pleasure, being brought to ecstasy again and again otherwise heâll feel like he failed. Itâs only after your crying out following your 4th orgasm that his hips snap inside you once, twice, before stilling and filling you up.
Doctor Strange:
He loves taking you against things, finds the almost taboo nature of being too desperate to wait oh so tantalising. Heâs enjoyed fucking you against one of the bookshelves in the sanctum sanctorum, feeling the wood rattle and books fall to the floor as he snaps his hips against your ass. There have also been many times where heâs had you against the wall, legs wrapped around his waist to keep your cunt squeezing him. But best of all is when he takes you over his desk. He goes feral every time, usually due in part to you teasing him, sat there all pretty, using your foot to nudge against his bulge. Theres nothing better than putting a bratty girl like you in her place, pushing you down and making your ass stick up for him. Always spanks you a couple of times to hear you whine, telling you âhow much of a bad girl have you been to drive me to take you in such a manner? Have you no shame?â before pushing his thick cock inside of you, shushing your desperate gasps. The feral nature of fucking his girl against his desk, the slight thrill of someone walking in and realising have him almost cumming too soon, having to slow down and grab the meat of your hips to calm himself down.
Gambit:
Oh he wants you on your back, but with your ankles pinned behind your ears. Heâs always charming you into bed with his words, his light touches, his empty promises of âGambit just wanna hold his woman, ainât nothing bad âbout that?â. Usually it isnât long before heâs bullying his fat cock into your pussy, remarking how easy it is to get you gushing around him. Pushing your legs up allows him to get deeper inside you, feeling every little bit of your cunt gripping him like a vice. The expression on your face riles him up, the look of pure ecstasy as he fills you so completely, but itâs the fact that all of you is for his eyes only. His fingers dance everywhere they can, groping your tits, feeling the squish of your thighs, hell even massaging the soles of your feet. Every part of you turns him on beyond belief. So the fact he can see it all laid bare as he snaps his dick into you over and over has him frantically strumming your clit to ensure he doesnât leave his lady unsatisfied before he pumps her full of his cum. And that he does, a man like him usually isnât satiated by just one round. Depending on how hyped up heâs been, how much tension needs to be released, he can usually be up for another round. And he loves not pulling out. The sounds of your cries mixed with the slick sounds of his dick fucking the wetness between your legs, watching his cum leak around the edges and form a ring around the base of his cock. He swears he sees god every time.
Human Torch:
Heâs an ass man, through and through. So obviously doggy style appeals to him the most. Loves it when heâs standing, seeing that arch of your back as you drape yourself over the mattress, ass up and ready for the taking. Always takes the time to properly squeeze and grope each cheek, spreading them to get a good look at your empty cunt until you canât help but beg him to put it inside. And he does, but only after a few slaps of his palm against them, moaning like heâs the one being struck. The recoil of your ass each time he thrusts into you is pure heaven, and if youâre willing he definitely records it on his phone, making sure to get each plap plap as the camera zooms into the sticky mess youâre making his cock. But when heâs gonna cum, he loves to paint your ass white, especially if his earlier ministrations mean the skin is red. His mouth is on overdrive as he jerks himself off, telling you how gorgeous your ass is, how heâs so lucky to have got a girl like you, how âgod you could make a fortune from sellinâ some videos babeâ before heâs cumming ropes all over. Will probably spread it all around your cheeks when heâs done, before rushing and nearly stumbling over his shaking legs to grab a towel.
Iron Fist:
Up against the wall is always one he goes back to in his mind when youâre both apart. He loves demonstrating his strength to you, relishing in the excited gasp and giggles you let out when he picks you up, muscles flexing, before pushing you snug against the nearest wall. Grinning as your legs lock behind him, as he guides his dick inside of you with a groan, cockiness slightly leaving his body as he feels your familiar walls around him. He always stutters out a laugh at your concern as you tell him he can put you down if heâs getting tired, mumbling a âyouâre like a feather baby, donât you worry about me.â Alternatively he does love pressing you against a wall, tits smushed as he pulls your ass towards him. Something about the feral nature of taking you like an animal, the desperation meaning you couldnât wait. He loves it, slamming into you over and over again, arm wrapped around your waist to keep you still. Even better if your legs partially give way, allowing him to keep you upright as he continues to thrust away. And if you offer to get on your knees when heâs close? You swear you can see actual hearts in his eyes.
Loki:
Riding always gets him going. A god deserves to be worshipped, no? He loves to lay back, comfortable among the asgardian silks as his cock rests against his stomach. It gets to a point where he doesnât even need to ask anymore, a simple raise of his eyebrow and nod of his head has you knowing what he wants. Letting you straddle him, watching as you position his dick beneath you and slowly sinking down, it does things to him heâd rather not admit. But he will tell you how much he loves the performance, how stunning of a pet you are as you use your body for his pleasure, how âyouâre doing such a good job for your king my darling, keep it up and you may just earn a rewardâ. He doesnât remain detached the whole time, as he loves feeling your hips and waist, reaching up and up to playfully pinch your nipples to hear the gasp it elicits. In times where he needs the release, itâs not uncommon for him to grip your hips hard before fucking up into you, revelling in your surprised cries and moans as you can only grasp his biceps for dear life. Other times heâs content to let you set the pace, loving the way you draw your own pleasure from your movements. But of course heâll use a thumb on your clit to bring you to completion, after all, what kind of king would he be if he didnât care about his subjects?
Mister Fantastic:
Another who loves riding, but more specifically in a chair. Itâs no secret that he spends much of his time in the lab, and he loves how understanding you are. His mind is a brilliant tool to help humanity, but even geniuses need breaks. Thatâs where you come in, massaging his shoulders and telling him that just a few moments away from a problem could do wonders. He knows every time what youâre doing, but your eagerness to help him has his dick hard before youâve even undone his belt. When you get to bouncing on it, he adores the different sensations; the squeaking of the chair, the noise of your ass slapping against his thighs, the mixture of your moans together in the air, it all just paints a beautifully lewd painting within him. The risk of doing it in the lab also thrills him more than he believes it should, the thought of someone coming in and seeing his girl taking care of him like this makes his cock throb almost painfully inside of you. He grabs at your hips so hard itâs almost harsh, gritting out âyou look so beautiful my dear, what an honor it is to have you all to myselfâ. And when he cums inside you, he often has a devilish smile as he gets his own back on your teasing, stretching his dick to make sure not a drop of his cum can leak out of your pussy.
Go girls
(MAKE SURE TO READ THE NOTES !!!)
*a Gilmore girls adaptation
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: seafood pub owner! jungkook x single mom! reader, friends to lovers, lorelai gilmore x luke danes inspired, grumpy x sunshine, angst, smut, fluff, hurt/comfort, slow burn
Summary: When you found out you were pregnant at the ripe age of 16, you realized you couldnât keep living a life built around old money, country clubs, charity galas, business dinners and maintaining a flawless reputation in Seoulâs elite social circles, so you left and traded the glittering skyline of Seoul, your familyâs suffocating expectations and a future that never truly belonged to you for a quiet seaside village on the outskirts of Busan with nothing but determination and a newborn baby in your arms.
16 years later, after countless jobs and dingy basement apartments, youâre nestled between sandy beaches and a cozy neighborhood where everyone knows everyone, where gossip spreads faster than the ocean breeze and where your lovely daughter⊠and quite frankly, your best friend in the whole wide world, Go Minji, has been lovingly adopted by a crowd of self-appointed aunts, uncles and grandparents who have spent years watching her grow up.
And then thereâs Jeon Jeongguk, the perpetually grumpy owner of the villageâs most popular seafood pub, whose permanent scowl has somehow become just as famous as his cooking. Heâs blunt, stubborn, allergic to smiling and seems to like the company of the ocean more than he likes actual people.
Unfortunately for him, youâve never been particularly good at taking hints or respecting personal boundaries because he doesnât know when or how it happened, but somehow you and your daughter become annoying regulars at his pub⊠somehow, thereâs always an empty table waiting for the two of you and somehow, despite the endless complaints and dramatic sighs, Jeongguk is always setting down a bowl of your favorite seafood stew, the one that isnât even on the menu and the one he swears youâre far too obsessed with.
Between village festivals, late-night walks along the beach, community gossip and a village full of people who have made it their personal mission to involve themselves in your lives, you never realised that the grumpy seafood pub owner whoâs always scolding you for eating too many shrimps or secretly setting aside the freshest catch for your dinner or fixing the loose step outside your house before you can even notice itâs broken or replacing the porch light youâve been meaning to change for 3 months or driving Minji to school when your car refuses to start or showing up during storms to make sure your windows are properly secured or grumbling his way through every favor as though helping you is the greatest burden heâs ever enduredâŠ. has been hopelessly head over heels gone since the very first time his eyes landed on the young single mother carrying a toddler walk past his pub with the weight of the world on her shoulders and a smile that somehow refused to disappear.
And if the entire village is to be believed, everyone knows it.
Everyone except you.
cherâs notes: PLEASE READ
OKAY HELLOOOO !!!! this project is heavily inspired by lorelai gilmore and luke danes from the show âGilmore girlsâ. while it doesnât follow the exact storyline or details of the original couple, their dynamic served as a huge source of inspiration so because of that, you might notice certain moments and scenes that pay direct homage to the show.
this is essentially my little self-indulgent writing corner where i get to throw jungkook and reader into whatever scenario i want, so feel free to send in requests.
at its core, this story will revolve around reader, jungkook and readerâs daughter, Go Minji, as they navigate life together in a small seaside village. their relationships, friendships, family dynamics, personal growth and allllll the little moments in between will be the heart of this project. (but ofc the major focus will be on the romance between reader and jungkook)
rather than following one strict plot from beginning to end, i want this to feel a lot like a sitcom so itâs going to be a collection of stories with the same set of characters where some chapters might focus on major milestones and character development, while others might simply be a glimpse into a random tuesday. (some chapters might also be directly inspired from the show)
there will be plenty of character introductions along the way and iâll also be diving into different backstories, relationships and lore as the story progresses. honestly, iâm still figuring out exactly how i want to structure everything and where i want certain storylines to go. i have a bunch of ideas floating around in my head, and iâm excited to see how they all come together as i write. updates will be sporadic and entirely dependent on whenever inspiration decides to show up. no promises, no schedule⊠just sudden bursts of creativity and whatever scenario i can come up with :3
if youâre a gilmore girls fan and this sounds like something youâd enjoy, let me know if youâd like to be added to the taglist âĄ
Marry Me?
pairing: levi ackerman x reader
summary: levi isnât bad at a lot, this just happened to be one of them. or: five times levi tries to propose and one time he does.
wc: 4.5k
levi ackerman is not a man that feared many things, in fact some would say he's fearless but that's not the case.
levi, like many people, has his own fears.
they just look a little different than everyone else's.
levi didn't know what the right way was to go about this. if it were up to him the two of you would just go down to the courthouse and elope. and if he was being totally honest, that had been his plan until hange caught wind of it.
after teasing him a little, they'd insisted on him buying a ring, even offering to go with him and as much as he didn't care for those things he knew one thing, that you did.
so he went and bought one.
a simple oval cut ring with a gold band. he wasn't sure of what to get, it's not like you two spoke about marriage often. you couldn't really plan for the future in your line of work.
but levi knew life was too short to not do what one desires.
which is exactly why this should have been simple.
it was not.
the small velvet box had been sitting in his uniform pocket for days now. it was something he was constantly aware of, something he knew he had to do but he, for whatever reason, kept putting it off. so it continued to sit there, burning a hole in his pocket.
i. in his office
he sat in his office chair, filling out documents like usual when you'd barged in.
he knew it was you because no one else would ever have the courage to walk into his office like that unannounced.
he didn't exactly hear much that you said when you came in, but he knew it had you heated. you were pacing his office as you spoke passionately, clearly you had been wanting to get this off your chest for a while. but he wasn't paying attention to that. he was paying attention to you.
he watched your face silently as it glowed in the dim lights of his office.
god were you beautiful.
"levi, you're not even listening." you said, stopping in front of him.
"ÂĄ am. you just began to repeat yourself."
"because you weren't listening."
"i'm sorry. finish what you were saying." he said, gently taking ahold of your wrist.
you took that opportunity to slip into his lap, letting him wrap an arm around your waist as you continued talking again.
and he let you, let your voice fill his office once more as he silently studied your features. the way your eyes squint as you furrowed your eyebrows, or the slight pout your lips had when you spoke about something that upset you, or-
"levi!"
he blinks slowly. "hm?"
"what's up with you?"
"you look pretty." was all he said, catching you off guard.
his compliment brought a smile to your face, taking that opportunity to lean in and press a gentle kiss to his lips.
âthank you.â
he'd grunted in response, acknowledging your words.
a comfortable silence surrounded the both of you, one that was familiar. it was nice, familiar.
maybe he should do it now.
levi pulled you closer to him, looking at you deeply which caused you to tilt your head slightly in question as his free hand slowly gravitates toward his pocket.
"what is it?" you asked, messing with a bit of his hair.
deep breaths.
"i wan-"
he couldn't even start his sentence before someone barged into his office panting, catching you both of guard.
"captain lev-oh."
it was jean. the annoying brat.
"i'm so sorry captain." he apologised quickly, bowing his head.
you took this chance to get off levi's lap, straightening yourself up.
levi let a small noise of disapproval, the sudden lack of warmth not welcome.
"you're being requested urgently by higher ups, sir. i didn't mean to-"
"that enough." he grunts, standing from his chair. âletâs go then.â
he glanced at you as he walked toward the door, silently apologising for the interruption. you didnât say anything, just nodding in response. you knew it wasnât his fault.
ii. your bedroom.
rays of sunlight shone through the gaps in the curtains, casting a warm glow onto your boyfriendâs chest.
he was up, of course he was.
the fact heâd slept last night was a miracle but you were forever grateful he did because it meant you had his chest to sleep on.
you turned over to be met with levi, seated upright on the bed with some documents in hand.
he heard your movement, placing them down on the bedside table, giving you his full attention.
âgood morning.â
âgood morning, handsome.â you greet, leaning up to giving him a soft kiss.
levi liked mornings like these.
though they were rare because you never seemed to be up on time, he cherished them deeply.
you rested your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes again, and levi took this opportunity to look at you.
really look at you.
his gaze lingered, taking in every small detail heâd already committed to memory. he often found himself wondering how he had gotten so lucky.
he wasnât one that was used to expressing his emotions and for whatever reason, you understood that.
you let him take his time as he tried to get comfortable with it.
and even now, though he may not be there yet, he was definitely getting better at it.
his eyes flickered briefly to the bedside table. the top drawer to be more exact. where the ring sat in its box, waiting for him to open, waiting for him to ask you. where heâd placed it there earlier without much thought.
but now it felt impossible to ignore.
this could be it.
it was quiet.
you were here.
there was nothing to interrupt him, no one to get in the way.
just the two of you.
â..levi?â you mumbled quietly, your voice thick with sleep.
âhm.â
âcome back to bed.â you murmur, shifting closer to him, your hand resting against his side.
he removed himself from his thoughts, looking down at you. at the way you were barely awake, completely relaxed against him.
and suddenly it felt wrong to do it now, not when you were half asleep.
so he pushed down the thought, sinking back into bed and wrapping an arm around you to pull you close.
iii. campsite
itâd been four days since that morning.
it was dark out, the sky clear with occasional bright white dot visible in the sky.
youâd insisted on sitting out in the dark for a while and who was levi to deny his girlfriend?
you both sat outside your tent, your head resting on his lap as you looked up at the sky. pointing at the occasional star or constellation you would spot in between idle chatter.
levi didnât say much.
not that he really did.
he much preferred listening to your voice as spoke, his hand resting on your waist, thumb absentmindedly moving back and forth.
âthat one.â you say, raising your arm to point.
âwhich one?â
you nudge leviâs leg, raising your arm again. âthere, the really bright one.â
he follows your finger this time, looking up.
âi see it now.â
you smiled to yourself before getting yourself comfortable as familiar silence fell between you both again.
your eyes remain fixed on the sky, watching the stars flicker faintly above you.
âwait,â you gasped, sitting up suddenly.
leviâs hand naturally reached out to steady you. âwhat?â
âlook.â you say quickly, pointing at the sky again.
he follows your gaze just in time to see a bright streak of light cut through the night sky.
a shooting star.
âmake a wish!â you say, immediately closing your eyes.
levi watches you for a moment.
âthatâs not how it works.â he huffs, earning a nudge from you.
âjust do it.â you insist.
he sighs in defeat, but he doesnât close his eyes. just watches you quietly.
your soft expression, the small smile on your lips.
he didnât need to close his eyes to make his wish.
he already knew.
you open your eyes and look up again, as if expecting the star to still be there and then turning to look at levi.
âwhat did you wish for?â
your question earned a scoff from him. âyouâre not meant to say.â
âi know,â you smiled. âiâm going to tell you anyway.
he doesnât reply. just looks at you, waiting for you to continue.
âi wished for things to stay like this. just us. for as long as possible.
if you looked closely you could see the smallest shift in leviâs expression.
âwhat about you?â
his face remained unreadable, stiff. but his hand reached for yours, holding it in his gently.
this was it.
the perfect opportunity to tell you just how he felt, noâ
âcaptain!â a distant voice called, followed with the heavy sound of footsteps.
really? levi thought.
he slowly closed his eyes, composing himself before rising to his feet, holding his hand out to help you up next.
the scout was stood before you now, drawing deep breaths.
âcaptain, youâre both needed urgently. some movement has been detected at the left wing.â
and just like that the both of you were sucked back into work, your previous moment forgotten.
iv. on a walk
the spring breeze felt nice on your skin, cooling you down as the hot sun continued to beat down on you.
for the first time in a while, you had some time to yourself before training. but that wasnât even the most shocking part. the most shocking part was the fact levi also had that same period of time off. so what better way to spend it than basking in the late afternoon sun whilst taking a quiet stroll through the grounds.
this was a rarity you both enjoyed whenever you had the chance.
the two of you walked a familiar path, hand in hand, taking in the stillness around you. it was quiet, peaceful in a way your lives rarely allowed, and for once there was nothing pressing waiting for either of you. no orders, no responsibilities.
this was perfect.
âwe should think of heading back soon. iâm sure training will begin shortly,â levi said, glancing ahead.
you sighed softly, turning to face him. âcome on, levi, donât be like that.â
he frowned slightly, not understanding what heâd said wrong. he was right, you both had to head back soon.
âdonât you want to spend time with me?â you asked, stepping in front of him and wrapping your arms around his neck.
his hands found your waist easily, like they always did, holding you without thought. he liked when you touched him, even if heâd never say it out loud. there was something grounding about it, something heâd grown used to without realising.
âi am,â he said simply.
you smiled at that, studying his face for a second before leaning in. he met you halfway, your lips moving together in a way that felt second nature now.
he definitely liked this.
you let out a quiet hum against him as his grip tightened slightly, pulling you just a little closer as the kiss deepened. for a moment, everything else faded away.
levi knew.
this was it.
heâd planned it this time. waited for the right moment, made sure no one would be around, no one to interrupt or pull you away. everything was exactly how it should be.
slowly, his hand slipped from your waist, moving toward his pocket. his fingers closed around the small box, steady but deliberate as he pulled back from the kiss just slightly.
you followed instinctively, your forehead resting against his, your breath still warm against his lips.
ââŠwhat?â you murmured.
he hesitated for only a second before pulling the box out, holding it low between you. his thumb brushed against the lid, heart steady in his chest even as the weight of the moment settled around him.
this was it.
ââŠiââ
a drop of water hit your cheek.
you blinked.
then another.
and another.
you both glanced up at the sky just as the clouds that hadnât been there moments ago seemed to roll in all at once.
âyouâve got to be kidding me,â you muttered.
within seconds, the light drizzle turned heavier, rain falling fast and sudden, soaking through your clothes before either of you could properly react.
you laughed, grabbing onto him as the rain came down harder. âokay, maybe we should go.â
levi stood there for a second longer, the box still in his hand, the moment slipping away in real time.
then he exhaled sharply, snapping it shut and shoving it back into his pocket.
âcome on.â
he grabbed your hand, pulling you along as the two of you rushed back toward shelter, your laughter mixing with the sound of the rain hitting the ground.
by the time you made it inside, you were both soaked.
you pushed wet hair from your face, still smiling. âthat was fun.â
ââŠyouâll catch a cold,â he muttered, clearly not happy with the rain.
âloosen up, grumpy,â you teased.
he didnât respond.
just watched you for a second, taking in the way you looked; soaked and laughing.
the moment had been perfect.
everything had gone right.
and somehow, it still hadnât happened.
v. at dinner
it was a special night tonight.
it was date night, which meant one of you cooked while the other stayed out of the way, and then you both sat down and ate together like nothing else mattered. it was a tradition you kept every month or so. something simple, but something you always found yourselves looking forward to. though tonight felt slightly different.
âwow, levi.â you smiled, taking a seat across from him.
he didnât say much, just adjusted your chair slightly before sitting down himself. everything was neat, organised, exactly how he liked it. the food was still warm, the table set properly, not a single thing out of place.
levi had one rule on nights like these; no one was allowed to disturb. and everyone knew better. tonight, he had made sure of it.
because tonight, he was going to propose.
you picked up your fork, glancing at him again. âyou went all out.â
ââŠitâs nothing.â
you smiled slightly, shaking your head. âitâs not nothing. this is really nice.â
he hummed quietly, his attention on you more than the food. heâd planned this. every detail, every moment, making sure nothing would go wrong. for once, everything was exactly how it should be.
the box sat in his pocket, heavier than usual.
this was it.
the conversation stayed easy between you, light and familiar, the kind that didnât need effort. you spoke about nothing important; training, small things, whatever came to mind, and he let it happen, waiting for the right moment to shift it into something more.
when you finished, you leaned back slightly, letting out a soft breath. âi enjoyed that.â
âyeah.â
you smiled at him, softer now. âi like this. just us.â
his gaze lingered on you for a moment longer than usual. âso do i.â
silence followed, calm and steady, the kind that usually didnât need filling. this was the moment.
levi felt it.
his hand moved slightly, brushing against his pocket where the box sat, waiting.
say it.
just say it.
âthereâs something i want to say,â he said.
you looked up at him, curious but relaxed. âokay.â
his chest felt tight, not in fear, but in the weight of it. of what it meant. of how much it mattered. you watched him patiently, like you always did, and for some reason that made it harder.
his fingers curled slightly against his leg. the words were there, he could feel them. all he had to do was say them.
ââŠwe should do this more often,â he said instead.
you blinked, then smiled faintly. âi was just thinking that.â
he nodded once, like that had been what he meant all along, like that had been the question. the moment shifted, just like that.
you kept talking, completely oblivious to what had almost been said.
and levi sat there, listening, responding when needed, like nothing had happened.
like he hadnât just failed again.
this time, there was no interruption. no bad timing. no one to blame but himself.
just him.
and the words he couldnât seem to say.
iv.
the room was warm, lit softly by the lamp in the corner, the glow low and golden as the record player spun lazily in the background. the music wasnât loud, just enough to fill the space, paired with the faint crackle of the vinyl.
you were already halfway through the song when levi walked in.
bare feet against the floor, hair still damp from your shower, wearing one of leviâs shirts that hung loose on you. you hummed quietly to yourself, moving around the room without much care.
he stood near the door for a moment longer than necessary, watching you move around. it wasnât anything new. heâd seen you like this before. but for some reason, tonight it felt different.
âif you fall and hurt yourself i wonât help.
you turned immediately, grin already forming. âdonât lie.â
âi wonât.â he lied, he knew if anything were to happen heâd be by your side in an instant.
âliar.â
he didnât bother responding to that, but his eyes followed you as you walked toward him, like youâd expected him to just⊠join in.
which he wouldnât.
âcome here,â you said, holding your hand out.
ââŠno.â
âlevi.â
âi said no.â
you pulled him forward before he could finish, laughing softly as he stumbled the slightest bit, more from surprise than anything else.
âyouâre no fun,â you murmured, placing his hands on your waist yourself before resting yours loosely around his shoulders.
he looked down at you, unimpressed on the surface, but he didnât move them away.
âiâm not dancing,â he muttered again.
âyou donât have to dance,â you said, already placing his hands on your waist. âjust stand there and look pretty.â
âi donât do that either.â he scoffs in disbelief.
âyouâre doing it right now.â
he gave you a look for that.
you smiled wider.
and then you started swaying again, slow and easy, guiding him without asking, like you always did.
it didnât take long before he stopped pretending to resist.
âsee?â you murmured. ânot so bad.â
he doesnât respond to that, just grunting at your words.
you laughed, leaning in slightly, your forehead brushing his for a second before you pulled back just enough to look at him properly.
âyouâd be miserable without me.â
âiâd be able to get more done.â
âexactly. miserable.â
he never said anything, but something in his expression softened just slightly.
enough for you to notice.
âdo you like being with me?â
the question came out of nowhere and it caused you to look at him with confusion.
âof course i do.â you said like it were obvious.
âwhy..?â
you let out a small breath, almost a laugh. âwhat do you mean why?â
âwhy?â he repeated.
the tone in his voice told you he wasnât joking with you and it made you frown a bit. to you it was obvious why you were with him but levi was failing to see the same.
because.. youâre always there when i need you, even if you pretend it inconveniences you. you care for me and youâre honest. you make me feel safe.â
leviâs eyes never left your face, even when he finished speaking. instead he ket silence consume the both of you as he thought of what to say.
âi know i donât talk a lot about how i feel.â
you huffed quietly, a small smile tugging at your lips. âyou could say that.â
âi donât.. but i think about it. i think about it way more than i say it.â he speaks slowly.
your smile faded slightly, your attention fully on him.
âiâve lost a lot of people growing up. people i thought would see grow old alongside me. and i constantly think of all the things i never said to them.â
his words made you chest tighten. he didnât talk about his past often and you knew there were scars there, scars that would most likely never fully heal. but whenever he spoke of it to you, you couldnât help but feel grateful that he trusted you enough to open up to you.
âi know that nothing in this lifetime is promised, especially with our line of work but also know i wouldnât be able to live with myself if anything were to happen to you. i canât let it happen again, not with you.â
your expression changed, your hands resting on his shoulders.
âi donât want this to end because of something i shouldâve said. i donât want to lose you knowing i couldâve prevented it.â
you shook your head in response. âyouâre not going to lose me.â
âyou donât know that.â
âi do.â you said, stepping closer, your hands tangling in his hair. âiâm not going anywhere.â
he looked at you properly, like he found it hard to believe.
â..then marry me.â
you couldnât believe the words thatâd left his mouth, you breath caught in your chest.
âwhat?â you questioned in disbelief.
his voice remained firm as he repeated his words.
âmarry me,â he repeated, just as steady. âso i donât have to keep wondering if you know how much i love you.â
your chest tightened at that, something warm and overwhelming settling in all at once.
âlevi..â
you knew your answer and you also knew the fact that you hadnât given him a proper answer yet was eating at him so you decided to mess with him a bit.
âthereâs no ring.â you huffed in fake annoyance.
he paused, mentally cursing himself for being so unorganised.
âright..â was all he said before pulling away.
before you could react, heâd already crossed the room, opening the top drawer beside his side of the bed. you watched him, confusion settling in for a moment before he turned back around, the small black box now visible in his hand.
ââŠno way.â
he walked back over to you, slower this time. when he stopped in front of you, there was a brief second where he just looked at you before lowering himself onto one knee.
âwill you marry me?â
you couldnât believe this was actually happening. you just stared at him for a second, pure disbelief written all over your face before you nodded quickly, almost stumbling over your words.
âyesâof course i will.â
he slid the ring onto your finger carefully, his touch steady despite everything. when he stood, you didnât even give him a second to say anything before you were pulling him into you, wrapping your arms tightly around him.
âi canât believe you,â you murmured, your voice slightly shaky against him.
âdo you like the ring?â he asked, his arms settling firmly around your waist.
you pulled back just enough to look at it again, a small smile breaking across your face. âof course i do.â
your gaze lifted back to his.
âi love you, levi.â
and for the first time in a while, you were met with a small smile.
âi love you too.â
you barely had a second to react before he pulled you back in, one hand coming up to your jaw, holding you there as he kissed you firmly, pouring all his emotions into the kiss.
when you pulled back, you let out a quiet laugh, still a little breathless. you shakily placed your hand on his chest, staring in pure shock as you get a proper look at the ring.
you stared at it properly this time, like it had only just sunk in.
ââŠoh my god.â
your voice was softer now, almost disbelieving, your thumb brushing over it like you needed to make sure it was real.
levi didnât say anything.
he just watched you.
you glanced back up at him after a second, a small smile slowly forming. âdid you plan this?â
he scoffed at the question, shaking his head.
âno.â he started. âi tried five times before this.â
that caught your attention immediately, laughter bubbling up in your chest.
âwhat? youâre kidding.â
levi shook his head, completely serious.
âiâm not.â
you pulled back slightly just to look at him properly, eyes narrowing a little like you were trying to figure out if he was messing with you. ââŠyouâre lying.â
ââŠiâm not.â
âlevi,â you laughed, shaking your head. âthereâs no way you tried five times and i didnât notice.â
âyou didnât.â
âthatâs actually embarrassing for you.â
he gave you a look, unimpressed. ââŠit wasnât my fault.â
âoh, so now itâs my fault?â you shot back, smiling.
âthings kept getting in the way.â
you tilted your head, clearly entertained now. âyou have to tell me about each time. in detail.â
he sighed quietly, like he already regretted saying anything.
the music from the record player continued to spin softly in the background, the faint crackle filling the space between you, playing a familiar tune.
you stepped a little closer, your arms settling comfortably around him as the two of you began to sway gently to the music.
âfine,â he muttered after a moment.
you smiled against him, resting your head on his shoulder as he started, reluctantly, to tell you about each failed attempt.
and as he spoke, quiet and low, you listened, that same warm feeling settling deep in your chest.
because every almost, every failed moment.
it had still led him here.
to you.
you smiled to yourself, eyes closing briefly as you held onto him just a little tighter.
yeah.
this was a life you could get used to.

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âThe commander told me to tell you that you need to give me a kiss.â
Levi looked up from the papers he was reading, peering at you with raised eyebrows. His face remained neutral, unchanging, but on closer inspection, one could see a flicker of amusement in those cloudy, stormy grey eyes of his.
âOh?â Levi mused, pushing his chair back from his desk, gaze following you as you moved closer to him. Youâd taken off your Scout jacket and tied it around your hips, your boots having been toed off by the door upon your entry, leaving you to roam around in your socks. Levi would be lying if he said that seeing you like thatârelaxed, unguarded, at ease, familiarâdidnât make warmth bloom in his chest and butterflies erupt in his stomach. âDid he, now?â
âHe did.â You nodded matter-of-factly, straddling his lap once you were right in front of him. Levi let it happen, used to your antics at that point, and let his hands settle on your hips. âYou canât disobey the commander, captain. I wouldnât want to report you for not following orders.â
Levi hummed. âPerish the thought,â he said, deciding to entertain you and play along with your little game. âCome here, then. Orders are orders.â
You giggled, and Leviâs lips quirked up into the tiniest little smile. Barely noticeable, but there. Then, without warning, Leviâs lips crashed against yours in a hot, passionate kiss, making you gasp, but you soon melted into the kiss. One kiss turned into two, two turned into three until soon enough, you were lifted onto his desk, papers scattering to the floor. He would certainly complain about the mess later, but that was future youâs problem.
The order had been a kiss, but itâs better to be thorough, right?
a/n: i saw a prompt on pinterest and sprinted to write this...in february. this has been in my drafts since february. sorry for the lack of writing, especially long-form, angels. as soon as life settles down, iâm hoping to get some longer writing done.
general taglist: @francisofthespook @angelsanarchy @negansbestie @holdmytesseract @lovergyal @levislolita @stellar-waves @ppnutz
attack on titan: @jeansjolly @dreamydaredevil @yvsesa @magnificent-marie
levi ackerman: @valessenpai @vngelisse @bruisedsoupsworld @d3nkiswife
join/remove yourself from my taglist/s here!
choose me
âŠBucky Masterlist - Main Masterlist - Read on aO3!âŠ
âŠsummary: bucky isn't your boss, but he's still off limits. and even if he wasn't, there's no way he'd ever go for someone like you. weird that he matched with you on a dating app then, isn't it?âŠ
âŠwarnings/tags: bucky barnes x female!reader, modern!au, ceo!bucky, no use of y/n, mutual pining, virgin!reader, dating apps, no description of reader (pictures for aesthetic only), fluff, angst, love confessions, kinda boss x secretary, plot to earn porn, feral level smut, (fingering, teasing, stripping, soft dom!bucky, dirty talk, mean bucky but you're into it, teasing, possiveness, mutual masturbation, pussy spanking, praise kink, manhandling, dumbification, big dick bucky, p in v sex, creampie), soft!bucky outside of smutâŠ
âŠwc: 13.9kâŠ
âŠAuthor's Note: this one is for all my wound up "want love but afraid of intimacy girlies". we go through it. Enjoy!âŠ
Bucky Barnes is ruining your life, and he doesnât even know it.
You wish you could blame him. Slash his tires and scream in his face, maybe drain the oil from his bike or mess up his lunch order. But he wouldnât deserve that, and youâd just end up homeless on the street. Youâd have to sell your body, but youâve never been that good at sales, and begging Steve for your job back wouldnât get you anywhere when youâd just given his best friend food poisoning.
And Bucky wouldnât deserve that. Heâs perfect. Heâs a mountain youâd love to scale, if you hadnât always been horrid at climbing. Youâd dig your nails into his chest, and maybe just keep him at eye level forever. So you could watch that quiet joy that only shines for the people he really, truly likes.
Youâre a member of that rare club. Itâs taken years of small kindnessâ and lingering in Steveâs shadow to get there.
Even if you wanted to, youâd never risk ruining that just because of some schoolgirl crush. Not when Bucky might make your heart stumble and your face heat, but he hasnât taken away your wits.
The same wits that tell you, itâs not worth the risk.
It will never be worth the risk. You worked too hard to get where you are. Itâs too good a job, to burn up because you have a few fantasies. Steve Rogers famously went through assistant after assistant, before you. When youâd asked Natasha whyâSteveâs a perfect boss, he lets you take hour long lunches and use sick time as PTO, as long as you donât tell HRâsheâd just shrugged.
âItâs not Steve thatâs making them quit.â Sheâd hummed, like you were supposed to know exactly what that meant.
You hadnât. You still donât. Best guess, he thinks that everyone can keep up with him and forgets to slow down and match pace. But you can keep up with him just fine. Without breaking a sweat. Sometimes you out-pace him, and that earns you a loud, approving laugh and small smirk from Bucky.
Bucky.
James. Youâre trying to call him James, in your head. Itâs more formal. Creates a larger gap, between private fantasy and reality.
In fantasy, Bucky is a hazy voice that creeps into your dreams and rough stubble that brushes over your cheek. You tangle the sheets and blankets between your legs in bed, and pretend heâs there, holding you tight. Dreams and scenarios play out before you go to sleep, where he backs you against a wall and declares that heâs loved you since he first saw you. Or he shows up at your door in the middle of the night, pleading because he canât take being away from you anymore. Maybe all his stares at conferences and meetings finally amount to something, and he grabs your jaw and kisses you so brutally you both just fall onto that soft couch in his office.
But Bucky doesnât just stare at you. Itâs one of his weird little quirks that Steve calls just Bucky, and Sam calls creepy and weird, heâs lucky we love him.
You do love him.
Buckyâs perfect. When youâd met him, heâd seemed as if heâd fallen out of a silver screen or leather-bound book. Youâd never understood fantasies about powerful men, until one with the brilliance of fifty suns had been adjusting his cuffs in front of you. Youâd barely been able to breathe, and itâs only gotten harder since youâve known him.
At first look, Buckyâs a sharp jawline, dark hair, and eyes that follow you into your sleep. Heâs cold and standoffish in that annoying way that makes the fool in your heart babble about how you could melt him. He snaps and orders and doesnât waste time on things that donât matter, and youâd like to hear how his voice could go soft, if you could make it.
That fool in your heart is loud. It tends to get the better of you, until the object of itâs fleeting obsession shatters the illusion by itself. Most of your crushes take a sledgehammer and destroy the heroic visage youâve made of them in a second. You just have to wait for it, and they save you from themselves.
But Bucky likes to ruin your life.
Itâs been a year, since Steve hired you. Fresh out of college, nervous, and with what Natasha called doe-eyes.
You love Bucky more than you did at the start, and itâs incredibly rude that he wonât just cut it out so you can focus.
âHowâs your mother?â You ask one night, when itâs just you and Bucky.
James. When youâre alone in a room with him, and the white sleeves of his shirt are rolled up to show off obnoxious muscles, itâs important to remember you should be calling him James.
âMy⊠Mother.â
Heâs staring at you like youâre crazy. Heat floods your cheeks, but you just nod. He doesnât get to win.
âYou said she was moving.â You shrug, and Buckyâs tongue flicks over his lips.
âI did say that.â
âYeah. I know.â You pretend to turn over a paper. âI was there.â
Bucky snorts, and itâs enough to yank your attention up. Heâs shaking his head with that tiny curve of a smile, and it makes your heart do something that might resemble overdrive.
âWhat?â
âNothinâ.â Â
âWhat-â
âMy motherâs doinâ just fine.â Bucky says, staring at you across the room. âShe loved those muffins you made her. Got me and my sisters in a lotta trouble, for not bothering to make her a housewarming gift.â
You swallow. âOh, I- I didnât mean to-â
âDonât hurt yourself.â BuckyâJames, but itâs impossible to remember when he looks at you like thatâsmirks. âIâd want you over me every time, too.â
Thereâs no possible response you can think of, to that. Not one that makes sense, and isnât humiliating. You look back to your papers, mumble a thank you, and try not to let Buckyâs low chuckle pool heat between your thighs.
You donât succeed.
But thatâs a problem for your vibrator to worry about, when you get home.
Because thatâs where the fantasy. And the reality is always starker. Harder to escape.
Bucky is a mountain of a man, but youâve never climbed anything at all. Not a tiny hill, not a slope, not even a bump in the road. The most basic things, that most people get out of the way in middle school, youâve never even brushed against. Not on purpose. Itâs just⊠Never happened. And youâre certainly not going to start doing anything now. With your older pseudo-boss and sort of friend. You donât have a death wish, and youâre certain that rejection will kill you with the humiliation alone.
So in reality, youâre never going to risk anything. Youâve never had health insurance this good before. Steve buys you lunch every dayâtechnically he buys himself lunch, but youâre allowed to get whatever you wantâand you got to move out of your rundown apartment with the landlady who kept getting mad you dared to have trash, but refused to fix your broken heater. In New York.
You havenât had freezing fingers in a year. Because now, you could afford gloves. And in the harsh cold of reality, no dick is worth more than a nice pair of gloves.
Buckyâs might be. Bucky and his smile and low laugh and nobleness and silent kindness and-
No.
Nothingâs worth it. Not when Bucky wouldnât even want you anyway.
Youâd rather have the gloves.
âYou get a plus one to this event, you know?â
You look at Steve over the desk, frowning slightly. âHuh?â
Steveâs lips twitch. âYou get a plus one.â
âOkay?â
âWasnât sure you knew.â He shrugs. Your frown deepens.
âOf course I knew. I send out all the invitations.â
âHm.â
âWhatâs hm? What does hm mean?â
âJust hm. Do you have the numbers, about-â
âTheyâre in front of you, Steven.â You narrow your eyes. âWhatâs hm mean.â
âTold you, nothing-â
âWhat.â
Sam says that there are only three people Steve is afraid of. Natasha, Buckyâs mother, and you. At the time, youâd laughed it off and rolled your eyes.
With how his throat bobs and he avoids your gaze, youâre starting to think that last part might be true.
âYouâve just always had that plus one offered.â Steve mutters, looking at the reports like theyâve suddenly turned into something interesting. âNoticed you never used it. Wanted to, uh- Make sure you knew.â
âI knew.â You snap, and Steve sighs.
âYeah, I thought you did.â
âThen whyâd you ask-â
âYou wanna get lunch?â Steveâs voice raises, and the conversation is clearly over. âI think I could go for some sushi, or- Mexican. Maybe acai?â
Those are three very different things, and it is your job to figure out which one he really wants. But you canât stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.
You have never used your plus one. Youâve never needed to.
Thereâs never been anyone worth using it on, except for one, dumb, handsome man who already has his own invitation to every event, and never has a problem finding his own date. Youâve spent dozens of nights lingering at Steveâs sideâbecause he can tell you all he wants to enjoy yourself, youâll slack when youâre deadâand glaring daggers at the model hanging off of Buckyâs arm. Giggling at everything he says and trying to drift closer than the polite, respectable distance he keeps them at.
He lets you sit closer to him than he lets them. And they are all a little younger, so maybe he wouldnât mind that youâre not experienced and-
You stamp those thoughts under your heel. Not worth it.
But is Steveâs noticed how you never bring anyone, maybe heâs noticed how you stare at Bucky as well. And if heâs noticed that, he might start looking closer. And if he looks closer, heâs going to realize that youâre in love with his best friend, and heâs going to tell Bucky, and youâre going to get fired, and lose your cool apartment and fuck, you arenât emotionally prepared to be a prostitute-
You need a date.
Itâs the safest, most logical conclusion. You study Steve across the room, and quickly decide against asking to be set up. That might get back to Bucky, and you donât want him to know for reason that defy common sense. You canât ask anyone at work, but all your friends are your co-workers. You could go out to a bar, but that sounds dangerous and exhausting, and youâre not even sure where youâd find the time.
Which leaves one option.
Dating apps.
There are millions of them. You know from college friends and social media that there are about five worth having. You download all of them, and spend the rest of your lunch setting up your profile. Youâre by no means ugly, and youâve got plenty of pictures in exciting locations thanks to Steve being unable to get through any work event without you there. You put down that youâre not sure what youâre looking for, because youâre really not. You lie about your job, because when you tell people youâre Steve Rogerâs personal assistant, they usually get weird. You settle just secretary, even though Steve and Natasha would shout at you if they saw.
They wonât see. None of them will see.
And youâll get a nice, boring date to the next event, and everything is going to be fine.
âYou never tell me about your family.â
Buckyâs words are so low you almost donât hear them. You look up at him in surprise, and hope the dim lighting hides your flush.
âYou never ask.â
His lips twitch down. âIâve told you about my family.â
âSo?â
âUsually.â He mutters, glaring at his papers like the did something to personally offend him. âWhen you tell someone about yourself, itâs an⊠Exchange of information.â
âAn exchange of information?â You snort. âIs that a CIA thing?â
âNot everything I do is a CIA thing.â
âEverything Natasha does is a CIA thing. And you were in the CIA together.â
âNat was better at it than I was.â He grumbles. His brow does a tight-knit wrinkle thing, when heâs frustrated. For a grown man, itâs always rather adorable. âIâd like to know about your family.â
âIâŠâ You blink at him, your brain turning fuzzy and useless.
Heâs staring at you. Saying those words like they matter, and you can barely understand them at all.
âWhy?â
âBecause. Weâve worked together a while. I know⊠A lot about you.â He takes a deep breath through his nose, giving you a strange look. âYou know about me.â
âUh huh. Thatâs usually how being friends works.â
Bucky sighs. âYeah, well. Youâve met my mother. She adores you.â
âShe doesnât adore me-â
âShe adores you.â
He says it like itâs really not up for debate. You flush. âOh- Okay.â
âEveryone you meet adores you.â Bucky grumbles, like that complete lie of a statement infuriates him. âAnd I tell you everything about me.â
You donât think thatâs true either. You know a lot about Bucky, but not everything. Steve says Buckyâs just like thatânot big on sharingâso you hoard every bit of information he offers you like a dragon with gold, but itâs far from everything. âBu- James-â
âBucky.â He corrects, and you sigh.
Heâs not making that part easy, either.
âBucky.â You say, smooth and careful. âYou know everything about me that Steve knows. I- I can tell you more. But Iâm not all that interesting.â
âI disagree.â He mutters. âYouâre impossibly interesting.â
You can only hum, pressing your thighs together as he just keeps staring at you. He shouldnât be allowed to do that. It makes your brain slow down and all your thoughts turn honeyed and gooey. His hands are right in your eyeline, and heâs got those big, deft fingers that youâve imagined tracing over your hips and lips, and heâs giving you compliments. Compliments like theyâre just breathing, like he doesnât even have to think about them because you could be all he sees.
âWhat do you want to know?â You mumble, desperate to move the conversation away from this. If you offer yourself too much of his attention, itâs going to drag you under like quicksand.
âWhatâs your favorite kind of flower?â
âMy favorite flower-â
Bucky grunts, nodding tightly. You take a deep, slow breath, careful not to look him in the eyes.
âI donât know. Iâve never really thought about it.â
Bucky grunts. âWell, what kinda flowers have people gotten you before.â
âI- Iâve never been given flowers.â
âYouâve never-â Bucky cuts himself off, and you risk a glance up to see him scowling. âEver?â
You can hear the what about that he wonât say. What about a boyfriend.
If heâs not brave enough to ask itâalthough you donât understand why heâd careâyou donât have to be brave enough to answer it.
âNo. Never ever.â You mumble, and you might dissolve into a mist of humid humiliation and confusing arousal.
You have Buckyâs attention, and you both wish heâd take it back and never want him to stop pushing. Youâve never had someone poke at you this much. It makes your core ache, and youâd rally rather not explore what that means right now.
âYou need to sign these.â You shove some papers across the desk, staring at Buckyâs hands again.
Theyâre curled in fists. Youâd like them inside you-
You mentally slap yourself, and force a smile onto your face, nodding to the papers. âSteve told me not to let you go home, until you did.â
Bucky chuckles at that, though thereâs still a strange look in his eyes. âNot let me go home, huh.â
âYes, sir.â You drawl.
Buckyâs knuckles go white. You could swear his voice gets lower.
âAnd how would you stop me from gettinâ home, kid?â
âWith lots of talent.â You shrug, giving him a tiny smile. âAnd my body.â
Bucky coughs, and the desk jerks suddenly. His knee mustâve slammed against it. You shoot to your feet, ready to check on him, but he waves you quickly back down.
âFine. Iâm fine.â He scowls, scooting forward in his chair. âPapers.â
He makes a beckoning gesture, and you just stare at him.
âJames, are you-â
âBucky.â He grunts. âPapers, sweetheart.â
You nod stupidly, shoving the papers into his hands. Youâre not sure whatâs happening. Your thoughts are all still made of candy-clouds and goo, so you donât want to overthink it.
Itâs only when you get home, that you realize what he called you. I
Sweetheart.
You canât blame him. He canât know what that does to you.
You really need to find that date.
It happens in the middle of work. The worst possible place for it to happen.
Steveâs on a conference call, and youâre lying on his couch, swiping through dating apps. Youâre only there in case he forgets something, and you donât have to pay much attention for that. The voices of old, annoying men drone on and on and on in the background, and you have everything memorized so well that when Steve calls your name, you answer without even realty paying attention to what youâre saying.
The call is three hours for no good reason at all. You get bored.
Hence, the dating apps.
Itâs almost as mindless as the call itself. All in all, the experience is turning out to be more of a fun game than an actual method to find a date. The next gala is creeping up, though. You refuse to give up.
But youâre also picky. And you keep comparing every profile you see to Bucky, which is deeply counterproductive.
Michael is handsome, and the exact same height as Bucky, but heâs built with corded muscle instead of the softer, thicker strength youâve seen straining through Buckyâs suit. Henry has a picture of himself with kidsâhis sisterâs, according to the captionâbut you look at it and just think of when Bucky and Steve went to the childrenâs hospital, and Bucky had become such a soft and approachable person youâd been worried youâd get pregnant watching him.
Leon has nice eyes, but theyâre not as pretty as Buckyâs. Cal is in the military, but heâs beaming about it in a way that makes you think he joined so he could run around with a big gun, while Bucky joined because his family needed the healthcare. Jake has a sweet smile, but it doesnât make you feel bubbly like Buckyâs. Asher and Kyle both have high paying jobsâall their photos showing them driving Maseratiâs and drinking expensive whiskeyâbut one of the things youâve always loved about Bucky is how he doesnât brag. His suits are less expensive and more well-tailored. His watch costs $150âhe always grumbles that he just needs it to tell timeâand he drives a motorcycle that Sam says he built from scratch.
You squint at Damienâs profile, and heâs got a motorcycle too. His caption says that he built it himself, and you donât know anything about motorcycles, but you doubt he built it as well as Bucky did.
You swipe left with a sigh, and go onto the next profile.
James. 41. Business Manager. You give the picture a quick glanceâbeefy, shirtless chest that makes you drool a little, only the sharp, bearded jawline of the owner visible in the photoâand squint at the bio. Wealthy bachelor looking for his Queen.
You snort, and scroll lazily down. Jamesâ Interests include music, cars, technology, dancing, family. No kids, but wants them. Looking for casual funâyou canât be causal, or have fun, but itâs always nice to pretendâlocated thirty feet away, pet cat, smokes and drinks socially-
Located thirty feet away.
Oh.
Oh, fuck.
You sit up suddenly, rapidly scrolling back up to the photos and main bio. James, 41, Business Manager. Â Â
Fucking- Fuck-
You click frantically through the photos, somehow burning alive and freezing to your bones all at once. Jamesâ next photo doesnât show his face either, instead displaying a fluffy white cat on his bare chest. You know that cat. Youâve fed and pet her, paying her more attention than Bucky himself whenever he brings her to the office. Alpine adores you. You have more photos of her on your phone than you do of yourself.
Next photo.
Bucky drinking at that Italian place he, Steve, and Sam always go to for celebrations. In the background, you can see Natasha flirting with the bartender. You remember that night. Sheâd taken him home, and youâd heard far too many details about how hot and submissive he was in the morning. Youâd been happy for her, and sick with jealousy. Youâd spent all of that night standing next to her, trying not to stare at Bucky while he and Steve drank.
Which means-
You pinch in on the photo, feeling a little sick when you find it. Shrouded enough in the background that you can only see it if you look, but you can definitely fucking see it.
Your lovelorn, sad expression as you stare at Bucky like heâs made of stars.
Heâs seen this photo. Everyone whoâs been on his dating profile has seen this photo.
You feel sick. You unpinch the photo, ready to maybe just fall back into the couch cushions and have them swallow you whole, and then it fucking happens.
Your thumb drifts a little to the right.
You swipe yes on Buckyâs profile.
And a little heart graphic overtakes your screen, the bolded words Itâs a Match! Shoved into your face.
You scream, and throw your phone across the room.
Steve looks at you like youâre insane. You feel insane.
âAre you-â
âI need to go to the bathroom!â You shout, and Steve opens his mouth, but youâre already running.
You have to pass Buckyâs officeâright next to Steveâsâto get to the bathroom. You pause to stare at him, unable to form any coherent thoughts but fuck and Bucky.
Heâs on his phone. Reading something with a knit brow. You might actually be about to throw up.
Like he can sense you, he looks up.
Your eyes meet.
And you run away, as fast as you fucking can.
Steve is a lovely boss. When you tell him you need a week off for vague personal reasons, but that you can still work remotely, he tells you not to bother and just take the time without work.
âBut- I can help-â
âI know. Iâm telling you not to.â He gives you a small smile. âYouâve earned the break.â
âSteve-â
âYouâre allowed to just rest,â he says your name kindly, and you shake your head. No. Youâre not.
âPlease give me something to do.â You plead, and Steve sighs.
âKid, you donât have to prove something-â
âPlease.â If you donât have anything, youâre just going to stare at your match with Bucky the whole time. And thatâs a harrowing, deadly prospect of a way to spend your week.
Steve sighs, and gives in. You get a bunch of emails to send, and theyâre just enough to distract you.
Barely.
Sometimes, you still manage to falter, and open up the app. Stare at the you matched with James three days ago! Banner at the top of the screen. Maybe he hasnât seen it at all, and youâre hiding for no reason. He could be someone who never even checks who he matches with unless they message first, because he just gets so many matches. Jealousy stabs through your heart, sour and sharp, and you sigh.
Itâs your best hope. That heâll just never know.
But he matched with you, too.
He could just swipe right on every girl he sees. Thatâs a thing you hear men do.
Buckyâs not the type to do that.
Heâs also not the type to be looking for his Queen. Maybe you donât know him as well as you thought you did.
But youâre pretty sure you do.
This is making your head hurt.
Your real best bet is that someoneâs been catfishing as James Barnes, but thereâs no real hope of that with the bar photo. Youâre going to have to quit your job and change your name. Maybe Steve can reference you to another similar job if you apologize enough. Maybe you can move to Alaska and learn how to be a fisherwoman. Youâre not very patient. And youâre not going to be able to afford your nice gloves anymore. Maybe you should just die. The best option might just be dying-
Your phone buzzes.
Message from James.
You throw your phone again. He knows.
Death is looking lovely right now.
Your days off turn into a week off. Steve checks on you, but doesnât push you to come back. If anything, heâs still trying to convince you to just take a real vacation.
âItâs going to help more than⊠What youâre doing right now.â He stands in the middle of your apartment, gesturing at your ice cream and the mess of clothing on the floor.
âThis is helping plenty.â You mutter. Steve sighs.
âLook, Iâm really not mad about you taking the time. I know you. You wouldnât take it if you didnât need it.â
âBut?â You give him a pointed look, and his jaw ticks.
âBut I wish youâd tell me what was goinâ on.â He says, sounding more sad than annoyed. âSo I could help.â
You give him a tight smile. âSteve-â
âAnything you need. If I canât get it, Iâm sure Bucky or Nat could-â
âSteve.â You donât want to hear about how Bucky can help you. Not when he knows perfectly well why youâve gone into hiding. âI- I really donât want to talk about it.â
Steve frowns, but lets it go. In the Steve way, where he keeps asking every time he visits, but always takes the no in stride.
âCan you at least tell me what I should be saying to everyone else?â He asks after a week. âPeople are noticing Iâm missing my brain.â
You laugh softly. âIâm sick.â
âBut youâre not.â
Not visibly. Your heart feels sick. Buckyâs sent you two more messages on the app, one into your personal number, and none on Teams, and youâve read none of them. You donât want to hear his gentle rejection, because itâs going to crush you into fine, little pieces.
âWeâre worried about you.â Steve says. âAnd again, no rush to come back, but I donât know how to work my own schedule and Buckyâs started pacing whenever I try to do your job, so-â
âBuckyâs pacing?â You blurt, and Steve blinks.
âYeah? Think he misses you, too.â
You swallow, and glance at your phone. The unread messages.
Bucky only paces when he feels like something is wrong. Really wrong.
And you donât want to know. That heâs been thinking about. That heâs been pacing. Because it all ends the same anyway.
âIâll be back soon.â You mumble, flipping your phone face down. You donât want to know. âJust- A few more days.â
Steve looks at you like he doesnât believe you. You donât believe you.
But youâre a big girl. You can survive a little rejection, and it doesnât have to be anything at all.
Youâre going to keep going, and this wonât have to have been anything at all.
Nobody asks, when you get back to the office. Nat and Sam check in that youâre okay, and Steve lets you pick lunch three days in a rowâand you think heâs blaming himself for everything, which at least tells you that Bucky hasnât snitched about anythingâbut the only thing waiting for you is a phone full of voicemails and a crowded calendar.
And Bucky.
Bucky, who almost acts like nothing even happened at all.
Almost.
Heâs staring more than he used to, and heâd always stared quite a lot. When youâre left alone in a room together, he stares until you look up at him, before immediately coughing and looking back to his own papers. He lingers outside of Steveâs office until you ask if he needs to talk, and he shakes his head and runs off like a teenager caught trying to buy drinks. Nat shouts at him after two meetings where he wasnât paying attention, and he mutters that he was distracted.
âWhat?! What could you possibly have been so distracted by that you missed every cue Sam gave you, five times in a row?â
He just shrugs, and you can feel his gaze burning straight into your heart. You bow your head, and pretend you donât see it.
You still havenât looked at the messages. Youâre not going to. And he hasnât brought it up, so itâs like nothing ever happened.
Like nothing ever happened.
But it happened. The world ended, but it also just kept spinning, and now youâre suspended in a world where Bucky doesnât even treat you like a friend anymore.
Steve notices. Of course he does. Asshole.
âDid something happen?â He asks softly. âDid Bucky⊠Say something to you?â
You look up with wide eyes, mouth going dry. âWha- What? No, Bucky- James and I, itâs fine.â You laugh, high and nervous. âEverythingâs fine.â
Steve hums, and he doesnât believe you. You can see it, shining in his eyes. âYou know⊠Iâve known Bucky a long time.â
âI know. Iâve read the about page.â
He laughs, shaking his head. âNo. I mean, yes, but-â He sighs. âBuckyâs not good at⊠Talking. When something matters to him, he shows it.â
âOkay.â Heâs shown you nothing but silence and stares.
âAnd he, um- Heâs a good guy-â
âIâm aware.â
âI know you are, but-â Steve sighs, slumping in his chair. âJust, if Bucky ever says something to you, or asks you to do something, and you donât want to, donât. Iâd rather you piss him off then feel pressured. Not that heâd pressure you,â he adds quickly. âBut if thereâs ever⊠Anything. And Iâve been wrong about⊠Stuff. Just know youâre as valuable as he is.â
Heâs speaking in riddles. This has been a long few weeks. âOkay.â
âOkay.â Steve nods, taking in a deep breath. âAnd is there⊠Anything you want to tell me? As my friend?â
Itâs a mean card to play. You almost want to. Steveâs kind, and he gives good advice, and you believe him. You know that if you confessed your silent, raging love for Bucky, Steve would just support you.
But you donât need someone to support you right now. You need someone to smack you in the face and tell you to stop being a baby about your crush not liking you back.
âNo.â You give him a strained smile, and it hurts on your face. âWhy, is there something you need to tell me?â
Steve stares at you for a moment, then slowly shakes his head. âNo. Just⊠You were missed.â
Thereâs a long moment of silence, and Steve clears his throat.
âBy everyone.â
You nod, useless tears stinging at your eyes, and look back to your work.
Later that day, Bucky goes into Steveâs office and they talk for two hours. You want to eavesdrop, but that would be a new, pathetic low.
You stare at Buckyâs head through the glass, and chew on a pencil until it snaps in half.
When Bucky leaves the office, he stops in front of your desk and lingers. You can feel the heat from his body, and youâd like to fall into it. He clears his throat, and you look up like heâd grabbed your chin and demanded it.
His eyes are shining on yours, and youâve never seen his jaw clenched so tight. As if heâs disgusted, just from the sight of you.
âYou look nice.â He rasps, and you canât tell if youâre glowing or burning out.
âThank you.â
He nods, looking up to the ceiling, then back to you. âWe all missed you.â
âIâve been told-â
âI missed you.â He says those words firmer. They sink into your core, molten and demanding, so overwhelming youâre not even sure what to do with yourself.
Youâve been staring at him too long. Words are failing you, thoughts are failing you, and-
âI, uh- Iâll leave you to it-â
âYou too.â You breathe out, and Bucky stumbles back like you hit him. âI- I missed you too.â
He blinks. His nostrils flare, and he gapes at you with a red face. For a second, you donât see the calm, collected man you know and adore so well. You see something closer to a teenage boy, fumbling and gaping and unsure what to do with his own strength.
You like him, just as much as you like the rest of Bucky. Love it.
Endlessly and uselessly love it.
Bucky turns on his heels, and almost runs back to his office. Your nails dig into your palms, and you force your attention back to your work.
It will pass. All of this, like every storm, is going to have to pass.
You get a night off. Steve has a date, and itâs the one part of his life you have and want nothing to do with. You were going to use the evening to catch up on more voicemails, until Sam shooed you out of the building like a bird. Go rest, woman.
You are resting.
By catching up on emails.
Thereâs a knock on your door, long after anyone should be out doing anything. You donât move from the couch at first, because you think itâs a mistake.
Then the knock repeats. Louder than the first time. And someone shouts your name, muffled through the door.
Not a mistake.
Bucky. Thatâs Buckyâs voice.
You fall, trying to get up. Your knees feel like jelly, and you havenât even seen him yet, but heâs already doing that thing where his attention makes you feel like youâre made of electric static. Sensitive and empty-headed in the best and worst way. You can barely stand it. You canât really stand at all.
When you finallyâsomehowâmake it to the door, Buckyâs standing on the other side like heâs awaiting inspection. Tall and silent, shoulders squared and arms behind his back, looking at you like youâre holding his life in your hands.
You stare at him. He stares back, and you can measure your every breath in heartbeats. Louder and louder in your ears.
âHi.â You finally say, shifting on your feet, and his throat bobs.
âHey.â
âWhatâre you-â
âI wanted to check on you.â He blurts, and you freeze. âAnd- Talk.â
You ignore that last part. Itâs the last thing you want to do. âIâm fine.â
Buckyâs pretty lips tug down. âYou took two weeks off.â He mutters. âYou donât even take sick days.â
You swallow. âI- I was trying to take care of myself-â
âBy working the whole time?â He looks past you again, and you follow his gaze.
Right to your laptop, open on an email draft.
âYouâre supposed to be takinâ tonight off too.â He says, a little scolding, and you stiffen.
âYouâre not my boss.â
Bucky chuckles. Low and deep, shivering up your spine. âTrust me, doll. Iâm fully aware of that.â
Oh. That does something nice to your core. You think you might be getting a fever.
âJamesâŠâ
âBucky.â He grunts, and you take an unsteady breath. Staring at his chest seems to be the most effective way to speak to him.
âBucky, I- Iâm fine, really-â
âI brought you flowers.â He says suddenly, and his hands shoot out from behind his back.
Heâs holding out a large bouquet of roses and lilies, each in about three different colors. Itâs a stark contrast to his black suit and neatly pressed white shirt, petals spilling and little bits of yellow pollen clinging to the stems. To the cuffs of his sleeves.
Bucky clears his throat, pushing the flowers a little further forward. You take them with shaking hands, a little worried theyâll dissolve the moment you touch them. They donât. And Bucky clears his throat.
âI, uh- I gave you options, and-â He shakes his head, rubbing the back of his neck. âCan I come in? Please?â
You canât think of a good reason to say no. You donât even think youâd get out the words, if you tried. So you nod, and step to the side.
And now Buckyâs in your apartment. Looking around at your things and licking his lips, nodding slowly. He fits into it, like a puzzle piece being slowly slotted in, and-
No.
You canât think like that. Itâs not going to help anyone, not by far.
He brought you flowers.
To apologize for breaking your heart.
Bucky looks back to you, bracing his hands on his hips. You swallow, hugging yourself tight, and neither of you dare to move. Bucky takes a ragged breath, looks to the side, and back to you with the strangest, most anguished expression youâve ever seen on his handsome face.
âTell me if Iâm steppinâ over the line.â He starts, urgent and pleading. âYou gotta tell me if Iâm steppinâ over the line.â
âBucky-â
âWe both know why Iâm here.â He takes a step forward. You take a step back.
Bucky freezes, and you take a shaking breath, staring at his shoes.
âI- Iâm sorry.â You mumble. âI didnât mean to-â
âYou didnât?â Bucky cuts you off, and you glance up to see him frowning. âAt all?â
You blink. âNo, I- I donât know.â
âYou donât know if you meant it?â
You nod, and Buckyâs jaw works tight.
âCould you?â
âWhat?â
âCould you mean it?â He rasps, and your mouth falls uselessly open.
âJa- Â Bucky.â You shake your head, stepping further back. If this is a trick, youâre too fragile to fall for it. âI- I donât know.â
âWhy not?â He takes a step forward, your eyes trapped together. âIs it me?â
âIs it you?â
âYeah, I- I mean- You donât really date.â He clears his throat. âAnd Stevieâs never told me why, âcause- Iâm not your boss, but Iâm not not your boss- âs what Sam says-â
Youâve never heard him ramble. Never heard him speak like heâs not sure of the next work. Itâs just as endearing as the display at the desk, but youâre even less sure what to do with it. âBucky-â
âIf itâs just me that youâre not- Thatâs the reason.â Heâs standing over you now. Bowing his head. âThen thatâs fine. Iâm not gonna be an ass about it. ButâŠâ His shoulders slump. âIf itâs not that. Then I- Iâd like toâŠâ
He trails off, giving you a hopeful look.
But youâre lost. Nothing heâs saying is making sense, and youâre almost being dragged under by the current of his words.
âWhat?â You repeat, more pleading than before. Bucky sighs.
âYou never answered my messages.â He mutters. âFigured Iâd need to ask in person. Needed to hear it.â He clears his throat, lips twitching. âEven if itâs a no.â
âEvenâŠâ You frown. âEven if whatâs a no?â
His head shoots up, and his frown deepens. âIâm⊠Asking you out. On a date?â
Oh.
What.
Your surprise must be written all over your face, because Bucky looks bewildered. He can join the club. Â
You just keep staring at him stupidly, and he says your name, slow and measured.
âYou read my messages, right?â
You shake your head, and he groans.
âI- Iâm sorry-â
âNo, itâs- Itâs my fault.â He mutters. âNat told me you were oblivious-â
You cut him off indignantly. âI am not oblivious-â
âWe matched on a dating app.â He drawls, lips twitching slightly. âAnd youâre shocked Iâm askinâ you out.â
You scowl, hugging yourself tighter. âI thought you made a mistake.â You grumble, and Bucky chuckles.
He takes another step forward. Close enough that you can smell him, smell his cologne and aftershave and something deeper thatâs just Bucky. You step back more out of fear that you were about to fall forward.
Bucky follows you.
Suddenly your pinned against your counters, Buckyâs arms braced on either side of your body. You swallow. Buckyâs tongue darts over his lips, and you think you did drown in his everything. Youâve been swept out to sea, and thereâs no hope of being dragged out to shore.
And with how Buckyâs looking at you, youâre not sure youâd ever ask to be saved.
âYou.â Bucky reaches up, brushing hair out of your eyes with a small smile. âAre not a mistake. And if someoneâs been tellinâ you that you are.â He leans down, until your lips are almost brushing. âTheyâre damn lucky youâre lettinâ them make it.â
Dear God. Youâre not strong enough for this.
âJamesâŠâ You breathe out, and his brows knit. âBucky. Donât.â
He tenses around you. âDonât?â
âDonât.â You whisper, eyes dropping to his lips. They look so soft. âDonât do this.â
Bucky leans a little back, but doesnât pull fully away. âWhy not? I told you, if itâs not âcause of me, we can work it out-â
âBucky-â
âIâll quit.â He says suddenly, and you gape.
âYouâre the boss, you canât quit-â
âThere are like, four bosses.â Bucky waves you off. âFive if weâre countinâ you, which I am, and you do twice the fuckinâ work. Iâll just quit, and you can have my job, and we can-â
âBucky.â You grab his shirt, and he falls silent immediately. âJust- Stop. You canât quit, you shouldnât-â You take a deep breath, trying to focus on speaking instead of crying.
Bucky says your name softly, and big hands thread through your hair as you start to sniffle. Itâs so pathetic, but youâre tired and overwhelmed and you canât take him doing this to you twice. Youâre not the kind of girl Bucky Barnes is going to want. Not for real. Not for long. And you canât handle him pretending you are.
âItâs not nice.â You whimper, even as he tugs you into his chest.
Pressing your face into his chest is just as amazing as youâd always imagined. You wish you werenât crying when it finally happened.
âWhatâs not nice.â Bucky prompts gently, and you swallow.
âYou.â
âMe?â
You nod, wrapping your arms around his torso. Bucky pets the back of your head, words low and cautious.
âWhat about me isnât nice?â
You shake your head, hugging him tighter. You canât stop. Itâs like a reflex. âYou canât- You canât say that stuff. âS mean.â
âMe tellinâ you Iâd quit for you is mean?â
âYou donât mean it.â
Bucky tenses. âI do mean it-â
âNo, itâs not- Iâm not-â You swallow, breathing him in. âI donât just wanna beâŠâ
You trail off. Bucky prompts you softly. âBe what?â
âBe fun.â You mumble. âI canât do fun, you know than, and- And if youâre not serious, then-â
âIâm dead serious.â Bucky grunts, and you swallow.
âJames-â
âNo. Listen to me.â He picks you up without a warning, sitting you on the counter so youâre at his eye level. You grab his shoulders, and he keeps his hands planted on your hips, almost holding you under his words.
Forcing you to hear them, as he watches you like youâre the most important thing in the world.
âI am serious about this. About you.â He grabs one of your hands, holding it between your bodies. âI have wanted you since I met you. Donât look at me like that,â he squeezes your hand when you give him a doubtful frown. âI have. You are beautiful and smart and bossy, and Iâve been obsessed with you so much, Natâs slapped me about it twice.â
You swallow, closing your eyes tight. You canât look at him right now. âYour profile said looking for casual.â You mutter, and Bucky snorts.
âLast year, Sam made that thing for me. âCause I was obsessed with Stevieâs new PA, and I needed to get under someone to get over it.â
âHm.â You peek at him. He looks sincere. âDid you?â
âI got under many someoneâs.â He shrugs. âDidnât have Samâs intended effect. Think I just wanted you more, after every time.â
You swallow. That does explain a lot about the profile, in hindsight. Those were all very Sam things to say.
âI want you.â Bucky murmurs, pressing a little closer. Your noses are bumping, and heâs still not looking away. âYouâre in my dreams, and days without you are nightmares. Just- One shot. Itâs all I need. Please.â
And God, you want to give it to him. More than anything. You want to tell him that he doesnât even need his shot, he hit a bullseye a year ago and youâve just been waiting for him to realize it since.
But-
âIâm a virgin.â You blurt, and Bucky blinks.
âOkay-â
âI canât do what others can. For you. And I- I donât know how anything works- Well, I know how sex works, I got an A in health class, but everyone got an A in health, but I got an A and paid attention, and-â Youâre rambling. âI just donât know how dating works, or- Or relationships, and Iâm not- Youâre very- You.â
You gesture over his everything, and Buckyâs lips twitch.
âThat a problem, doll?â
âNo. God, no. Youâre perfect, Iâm just- Not? And thatâs not really fair to you-â
Bucky grabs your face, and your cut off in a kiss.
Youâve seen kissing in the movies and on TV. Read about it a million times. Itâs always all sweet and romantic, with swelling music and breeze and passion.
And nothing has done it justice at all.
Kissing Bucky is awkward for a secondâhis lips slotted over yours, your whole body frozen as it shuts down, then rebootsâand then itâs like breathing. Your hands fly back to his shoulders, your legs spread so you can lean further forwards, and your lips move without a thought. Pressing against Buckyâs, moving in a dance he seems more than happy to lead, chasing at the slight chance that you could have just a little more.
One of Buckyâs hands finds this back of your head, and the other grabs your waist. Dragging you further forward until your chests are pressed tight, massaging the softness there in rhythm with his lips. You sigh, breathy and content, and Bucky presses further down. Heâs all you can feel, muscle under your hands and love pounding in your heart. You nails scrape his neck, and he groans into the kiss.
The sound vibrates against your spread thighs. His hand on your waist flexes, fingers digging into the softness, and you gasp.
Bucky pulls back too fast, and you follow. Tugging him back, unwilling to let him go just yet. He follows for a second, tongue tracing over your lower lip, then yanks himself back.
His brow presses against yours, and you both breathe raggedly.
âI like you.â Bucky almost growls. His thumb presses over your swollen lips, palm cupping your cheek, and you melt further into him than you already were.
âBucky-â
âYouâre what I want.â He leans forward, demanding and pleading all at once. âYour body.â He pushes his hand under your shirt, rough fingers dragging against sensitive skin. âIs a bonus.â
You shiver, whimpering softly. You feel pliant. Dizzy, in a way that no flirting or video has ever rendered you before. You think Bucky mightâve sucked your soul out with that kiss. Youâd like him to do it again.
But when you try to lean up, Bucky pushes you gently back down. You whine, and his lips twitch.
âYou like me too.â He mutters, watching you like heâs somehow still unsure.
âMhm.â You say, and he stands a little taller.
âHow long-â
âThe same.â
âOh.â He grins. âGood. Thatâs- Good-â
You slam back up, kissing him with an open mouth and sloppy need. Bucky responds immediately, and heat is starting to build between your thighs. Itâs not just going to go away with a little touching and petting. Itâs almost painful. You need him.
Bucky pulls away again. Youâre going to punch him.
âJesus.â He mutters, staring down at your desperate expression. âYou gotta slow down, baby-â
âDonât want to.â You breathe, pulling at his shirt. âWant you, Bucky. Want you now.â
His throat bobs, eyes darkening, but he remains composed. âYou⊠Youâre a virgin-â
âThen show me.â
Bucky says your name, and now heâs the one begging. But youâre not letting him off this easy.
âShow me, Bucky.â You rest your chin on his chest, giving him your best pout.
He grabs your face between big hands, chest heaving as he stares at you. You offer a sweet smile, and his nostrils flare.
âPlease.â You whisper. âAnything. I just want to feel you.â
âFeel me.â He echoes, like he canât believe it. âYou wanna feel me?â
You nod, and he presses his brow over yours his, his eyes squeezed shut.
âAnd you want me to show you.â He rasps. âAll the different ways I can make you feel good.â
You nod frantically, almost clawing at his shirt. Buckyâs eyes shoot open.
âYeah?â He grunts, and you whine.
âYeah. Yes. Please-â
He grabs your jaw, grip hard and unyielding, folds over you like heâs trying to fuse your bodies together. His lips move, harsh and hungry, and his hand on your hip starts to knead the skin like heâs trying to leave a mark.
âWanted this for so long.â He grunts, dragging his hand down to squeeze your ass. âWanted you. So fuckinâ bad.â
You moan into his mouth, and Bucky sucks on your lower lip. You canât have enough of him. Heâs warm and leaves little fires everywhere he touches. Youâd like them to sweep through you, overtake you and send you higher.
âSo gorgeous.â Buckyâs hand moves lower, resting on your upper thigh. âThought about you all the time, hated beinâ in a room and not getting to touch you, was so sure I was going to lose my damn mind not havinâ you be mine.â
âI- I wanted you too.â You breathe out, almost delirious from his kisses. âAlways wanted it to be you, never- Oh-â
You lose your ability to speak for a second, when Bucky starts to kiss under your ear. Your body goes pliant and soft, and his growl against your skin sends a shiver up your spine. Heâs holding the back of your neck now, guiding it to offer himself better access. You tug on his hair and he moans. It makes your knees wobbly.
âNever anyone else,â you breathe, and he seems to like that. The massive hand on your thigh shifts slightly, so Buckyâs thick fingers are grazing your core through your clothing.
Itâs a perfect pressure where youâd been craving any of his attention, and itâs a promise of more later. Your legs give out, eyes fluttering as your brain short circuits with arousal.
Bucky picks you up like you weigh nothing. Your nails dig into the back of his neck as he sits you on the counter, back arching as he captures your mouth in another kiss. Â
âNo one else.â He mutters, hand on your neck slowly, possessively moving down your spine. âNever gonna be anyone else, doll. Not for you,â he nips at your jaw, hand on your thigh teasing the sensitivity under your shirt. âSure as shit not for me. Been no one else since I started thinkinâ of you.â
Your breath hitches, and you lean back with wide eyes. âBucky, you donât have to-â
âIâm not lying.â He says firmly, dropping his brow against yours. You try to lean back, but he grabs your chin, forcing your eyes back together.
You blink at him hopelessly, grabbing at the collar of his shirt like youâre looking for balance. Bucky gives you a tiny smile, pressing his lips sweetly over yours. Another, softer promise.
âNo one,â he murmurs. âWas ever gonna live up to you. First few months Iâd fuck a girl and feel sick the next day. Like Iâd done you wrong.â
âYou- You didnât-â
âYeah, I did. We coulda been doinâ this a lot sooner.â
You flush, looking down to where your bodies are pressed so tight together. Buckyâs dress shirt and hidden muscle, both hard and gentle all at once. Your sleeping clothes and bare feet, swinging off the counter. You lean a little further into him, suddenly feeling rather small.
âWhat if Iâm notâŠâ You take a deep breath, frowning at the floor. âWhat if I donât-â
Bucky says your name, concerned and caring, and you shake your head.
âWhat if Iâm not the fantasy, Bucky.â You look back up with your best pleading eyes. âWhat if that- That idea of me isnât worth what you thought?â
His brows knit tight, and you try to shirk away as he studies you. You canât tell if you like it or not, but you know you feel bare. And you both want him to look away, and never go where you canât reach him again.
Buckyâs lips twitch. He leans forward slowly, kissing each corner of your mouth before taking it fully under his. The kiss is hot and commanding, almost forcing your brain to slow back down. You dissolve into it, your thoughts a nice haze of Bucky. He guides your legs a little further apart, and takes both of your wrists in one of his hands, pinning them behind you.
âI love you,â he mutters. âI told you. And remember,â he pulls back with that lovely, secret smile. âIâm helpinâ you through it, right?â
You nod, and Bucky leans back forward, bumping your noses together.
âTrust me?â
âYes.â You breathe, and he grins.
âGood girl.â
Heat floods between your legs, and oh. You like that. Youâre shaking a little bit, you like it so much. Want it so much. Want Bucky.
Like heâs reading your mind, he rasps against your lips. âYou enjoyed other things before?â
You nod, unable to tell if thatâs another flush or just how turned on you are, and Bucky smirks.
âLike what?â He kisses your cheek, massaging your thighs. âTell me what you like, sweetheart. What you want.â
âI- I want to be under.â You whisper, and you think his hands might be magic. Pulling answers out of you that you wouldâve rather died with an hour ago. âWant you over me. Tell- Telling me what to do.â
Bucky hums, nosing at your neck. You close your eyes, forcing on.
âTell- Tell me how good Iâm doing. And- Other stuff.â
He leans back, and your core throbs at the shine in his eyes. Like heâs going to eat you alive. âOther stuff?â He rasps, and you nod weakly.
âIf you can- Can do that.â Itâs hard to focus, between his piercing gaze and the hand wandering between your legs. Teasing your inner thigh, until youâre voice is high and breathy. âDo that, and- and be-â
âBe a little mean?â He coos, thumb pressing over your aching button. You swallow, and nod.
âA little mean.â You echo, and Bucky grins.
âYes, maâam.â He kisses you again, slow and romantic, and you barely notice his hand moving away. âThink thatâs enough outta you for now.â
âWha- Bucky-â
He steps away. Without warning, Bucky just backs up, and you almost fall off the counter trying to chase him. He laughs, and pushing you back into place in a second, then moves away again. Where you canât follow.
âBucky, come back-â
âNope.â He grins, like he knows youâre already too lost to chase him. He probably does. Asshole. âYou want me to show you?â
You scowl. âJames-â
âCall me whatever you want, baby. You ainât gonna be able to talk at the end, anyway.â He braces his hands on his hips, raising a brow. âWant me to show you.â
He wonât come back until you answer, so you just nod, crossing your arms like a scolded child. Bucky grins, and youâre hoping for another good girl and kiss, but he doesnât even lean closer.
âAlright.â He stands a little taller. âStrip.â
You blink at him. âWhat?â
âStrip.â
âLike, completely?â
âHm.â He pauses, raking over your body in a way that really shouldnât make you feel more turned on. âYep. All of this, off.â
He waves to your body, and gives you a silent, challenging look. Like heâs expecting you to go back, and ask for that date first.
But at this point, youâre going to explode if he doesnât make you cum. And youâve never backed down from him before. You have no interest in starting now.
Slowly, you peel off your sweater. Your shirt. The cold air hits your bare chest, and not wearing a bra was the right choice. Buckyâs looking at you like he wants to eat you alive, the evidence of your effect on him straining through his pants.
Your nipples are peaked, and you awkwardly palm at them the way youâve seen in porn. Bucky shifts on his feet, hand flexing like heâs trying not to reach for you, so you repeat the motion again.
âPants.â He grunts, and you smile sweetly.
âPlease?â
Bucky chuckles, like he canât believe you. âJesus, woman-â
âItâs polite-â
âIf you donât take your pants off.â He grunts, giving you a firm look. âIâm gonna rip off your pants and fuck you on this counter right now.â
You swallow. That doesnât sound all that bad, but-
Something foolish and lovesick inside of your chest demands that tonight be special. So you move on from your breast, but give Bucky a nervous smile.
âNext time?â
He softens slightly, and nods. âNext time. Pants.â
You smile, and he smiles back. But the expression quickly shifts back into desire, as you shuffle out of your pants. You take your underwear down in one motion as well, leaving you completely exposed. At Buckyâs mercy.
And heâs just watching you.
Watching you and rubbing his crotch, where an erection is demanding attention. The lewd sight makes you fuzzy in all the right places, your own legs spreading a little wider apart.
You need him so bad it hurts. Your fingers dip into your wet pussy, clumsily rubbing your clit, and Bucky groans.
Suddenly heâs back against you, staring at your hand between your legs and panting like a dog.
âLook at you.â He groans, dragging his gaze back up your naked body. âBetter than a dream.â
âThank you.â Your hips buck up against your own, suddenly flimsy and useless hand. Youâve touched yourself before. With Bucky all around you, itâs simply not enough. âBucky- You-You need to touch me-â
âI know.â He grunts, lips ghosting over yours. âNeed you to be ready, just-â
His throat bobs as he cuts himself off, his hand on his own hard dick suddenly pressing against your pussy. A spasm shoots through your body, and you almost fly off the counter.
Bucky presses further down, attaching his lips to your neck and collarbone. His tongue flicks against a pulse point as he spreads your pussy lips. Rubbing up and down while his thumb circles around your clit, working you up and up and up. Youâre panting in his ear, vulnerable and dazed, and Bucky hums against your skin.
âShirt.â He grunts. âGet my shirt off.â
You nod, and it should be a simple task. But Buckyâs relentless. He suckles on your neck, leaving possessive bruises on your skin all while working your pussy and drawling in your ear.
âI know exactly how I want you, pretty girl.â He mutters, flicking your clit with his thumb. âTold you Iâve been thinkinâ about it forever. âBout every single way Iâd take you if I got the chance. And Iâm gonna show you all of them,â he kisses over a bruise, teasing two fingers against your fluttering core. âBut tonight, weâre takinâ it easy.â
You whine, fumbling with just the top button of his shirt. âI- I donât want easy-â
âI know, baby.â He presses just the tip of his finger into your cunt, and you clench around him with a whine. âBut youâre so sensitive.â
If you had the power right now, youâd hit him for saying it like that. All mocking and syrupy. Making you try to fuck your hips down onto his fingers. But Bucky just pulls fully out, moving his attention back to your swollen clit.
âYou need to take care of the buttons.â He whispers, pushing down hard on the bundle of nerves. âThey need a little extra attention.â He rubs his thumb back and forth. âBefore we get goinâ.â
âFuck- Bucky-â You breathe, almost slumped against his chest. Your fingers are shaking, desperate to just hold onto something as thighs spread as wide as they can go. âFuck you-â
He chuckles, kissing the side of your head as his thumb picks up speed. âWeâre getting there, needy girl.â
You scrape at his forearm, one hand still trying to pry his shirt open with no real resolve at all. He knows exactly what heâs doing to you, the asshole. Driving you insane with the teasing over your exposed entrance, never fully offering relief. You manage to get the top button open, but then Bucky pushes down hard on your clit, and an open moan falls from your lips as you double over.
âThatâs it.â Bucky laughs, low and dangerous in your ear. âDoesnât that feel good, baby?â
You nod, watching him move on you. âBu- Bucky-â You pull on his collar. âHelpâŠâ
âYouâve got it.â He says simply, spreading two fingers and dragging them between your pussy lips. âJust keep tryinâ.â
There is no world where you have it, but Buckyâs words are enough for you to keep grasping fruitlessly at the fabric. Your head drops onto his shoulder, as you paw at his shirt. He laughs, rumbling through his chest, and slows his pace on your clit.
âAll the ways Iâve pictured havinâ you.â He mutters. âThis is the prettiest. Got you nice and ready, barely even touched you.â
âYouâre- Youâre touching me-â
âNot like I could touch you.â He says, a deep promise in his voice. âTold you, Iâm going easy on my best girl. But if I wantedâŠâ
He chuckles, kissing the side of your head. Pushing on your clit as your body starts to wiggle, trying to find more relief. âBucky-â
âEvery time Iâve seen you, layinâ on the couch.â He presses further forward, his bulge against your thigh. âIâve thought about putting my hands all over your perfect fuckinâ body. Touching these tits,â he ducks his head, and your breath hitches as he kisses over the curve of your breast. âTouchinâ this sweet little pussy.â He plays with your clit like it a toy. âAnd makinâ you squirt all over Stevieâs nice cushions.â
âIâd look at you.â You gasp, holding onto his shirt for dear life. âIn your chair. Wanted to sit on your lap.â
Bucky groans, hips jerking slightly. âShit, Iâve thought about that too. Pinning you on my cock âtill youâre sobbing, fucking you over my desk- Christ, whenever youâd bend over Iâd just want to drag your ass back and fuck it âtill you were drooling.â
âFuck, yes.â Youâve given up on the shirt.
Your hand is wandering down between your bodies, and you rub against Buckyâs crotch, trying to return some of the favor. Bucky moans into your ear, pressing his hand flat over your cunt.
âShit, you- Canât just fuckinâ-â Bucky grunts your name, and you roll your hips against his hand.
âNeed it. Need it, Bucky- Just- Your fingers, please-â
âNo.â He mutters, his own voice gravelly as you squeeze him. âCanât be patient, can you, sweetheart? Want this cock so bad youâre just grabbinâ for it, wasnât even able to get my shirt off-â
âItâs a mean game.â You breathe, and he laughs, pushing his lips back over yours.
âYou started it.â He brushes the hair from your face, easily moving you backwards until youâre just groping for something of him to hold onto.
âWhy canât you just- Just fuck me-â
âBecause you wanted to be a good girl.â Buckyâs kisses are turning slow. Lazy. Heâs groping your pussy again, but with far less purpose.
Just spreading your arousal and teasing everywhere you need him, driving you up to an edge you think might take away your mind. A mind youâd be happy to lose for him, if heâd just take it.
âAnd I want to show you.â Bucky rests his thumb over your entrance, his free hand pushing on your abdomen. Forcing you to stay still. âBut youâve got a greedy pussy, sweet girl. Think you need a little break?â
You shake your headâyou do not want a breakâbut Bucky pushes his thumb a little harder, and you squeak.
âBu- Bucky-â
âLook at me.â He orders, and you donât have another choice. His voice is magnetic.
With just the top button exposing his sweaty collarbone and his erection evidence that he cares about this as much as you do, all of Bucky is magnetic. Gravitational. And it makes you feel so unbelievably good, just to be seen by him.
Being fucked by him might kill you.
Itâs a risk youâre willing to take.
âHi.â He smiles, and your lips wobble with need.
âHi.â
âYou still in this?â
You nod, and Buckyâs throat bobs.
âIâd like you to say it-â
âYes, sir.â You canât help yourself from saying it.
Itâs supposed to be mocking. But your voice is still high, and Bucky looks at you like youâve lost your mind.
âYouâre lucky youâre so pretty.â He shakes his head, tone something between amused and exhausted. âOtherwise youâd be a really fuckinâ brat.â
You flush violently, and Bucky slaps your pussy once. Just enough to make you feel like youâve been struck by lightning, and mold back into his whims.
âOne day.â He drawls, one knuckle pushing up to press on your clit. âIâm gonna get you on my face. Let you ride me, fuckinâ suffocate between your legs.â
Youâre shaking, watching him. Heâs talking like heâs predicting the weather, but your head is running wild. The image of Bucky under you, forcing your cunt onto his generous mouth. It would be hot and wet, his hands would leave bruises, and, and-
âYouâre so reactive,â he mutters, using featherlight swipes of his thumb against your clit. âThink I could make you squirt on me. Itâll be like this,â he starts to move in tiny, rapid motions back and forth. âLike this. But my tongue,â he licks up your neck, nipping at the underside of your jaw. âAnd your needy clit beinâ sucked like Iâve got some fuckinâ candy.â
He pinches your clit, and starts to roll it back and forth. You can feel a pressure, building and building. Itâs almost blindingly good.
âYouâre makinâ such nice sounds for me.â Bucky mutters. âBet youâll sound even better, coming apart all over my cock.â
You nod, humping into his hand. You need more, but just when you think itâs going to snap, Buckyâs hand moves back down.Â
âYou feel this, baby?â He circles his thumb against your hole, and you hum, eyes flutters. âSheâs ready for me.â
âYes.â You breathe. âReady, Bucky, please- Wait-â
You almost whine when he pulls away again, but this time itâs for a good cause. Bucky rips his shirt off, tossing it to an unimportant corner of the room.
Heâs a work of art. All thick, tanned muscle and scars from his time in the army. They ripple when he moves, decorate him like earned tattoos, and you want to map each one with your fingers. His arms are fucking tanks, reaching out for you, and you tumble into them without a thought.
Bucky hauls you into his arms, hooking under your ass and dragging you off the counter with only a grunt.
âLegs around me.â He orders, and you obey. Itâs nice to be this close to him.
Plus the bonus, of getting to try and ride his chest while he carries you to your room. You stumble and giggle, trying to give him directions. Bucky shoves open your door with his shoulder, and you laugh as he walks backwards to the bed, his knees hitting the mattress and sending you both tumbling down.
âShit- Bucky!â You shriek with delight as Bucky rolls you over, trapping you under his broad body. âOh- Ooh-â
Your words fall off as he kisses you into the mattress, settling between your spread legs quickly. Your hands wander over the expanse of his back, and itâs a nice wealth to be crushed under. Youâre losing cognitive function again, as Bucky ruts his still covered erection against your wet core. You donât know how heâs kept it together so long. You feel like youâre going to cry with desperation, and youâre fully at his whims.
This is nice, though. Itâs a hot pressureâstill far from what you need, but enough to tide you overâand Buckyâs wall of muscle around might be the best things youâve ever felt. Your tits pressed against his chest, his arms braced by your head as you just make out like teenagers. He glides one hand down, rolling your nipple between calloused fingers, and you gasp softly.
âBu- Bucky-â
âIâm gonna start slow.â He murmurs, low and commanding. âThen pick it up. Fuck you âtill you canât walk, baby. Give you what you deserve.â He drops his hips, forcing you to stop grinding up. âThat sound good?â
You nod, blinking hopelessly up at him, and he smiles.
âGood girl.â You get a sweet kiss on your cheek, his beard tickling softly. âStay down.â
You donât understand the request until heâs moving again, and suddenly it seems impossible. Being naked in front of him had been one thing. Naked, sprawled out in bed below him, and watching him strip is another thing.
Bucky sits up on his knees, never breaking eye contact as he pulls off his belt. You start to chew on your lower lip, and he moves back forward, stopping you with a gentle press of his thumb.
âEasy.â He murmurs. âRelax.â
You whimper, but try to. For Bucky.
And you think you might be turning into a puddle anyway, under the reverence in his gaze.
Bucky gets his pants off with practiced ease, and your mouth falls open.
His cock is thick and big. Veiny in a way you want to feel dragging against you, the head red and angry. Your breath catches as he starts to stroke it, just watching you wait for him.
Your legs close, trying to rub together for some friction. Bucky grabs your knee, and drags them back apart.
âLet me see you.â His thumb rubs in small circles. In a perfect rhythm, with his hand beating his cock. âNice and relaxed for me, doll. Need you to be relaxed.â
You hum, watching him under hooded eyes. You canât stop yourself from glancing down to his dick again. You feel empty, waiting for him. Youâve been waiting long enough as it is.
Bucky follows your gaze, and his lips twitch.
âYou just walk around all the time?â He teases. âWaiting for some cock to fill you up.â
You nod, breathing through your mouth, and Buckyâs throat bobs.
âYeah?â
âMhm.â You whisper, dragging your gaze back to his. âNeed to feel you, Bucky. Pleeease.â
He swears under his breath. âLegs a little wider. Now.â
You listen quickly, and Bucky lowers down. He drags his cock between the puffed, slick lips of your pussy, the head bumping against your clit.
âDirty girl.â He hovers over you, watching your every breath as he plays with you. âSo fuckinâ pretty, should be stuffed with cock all the time, shouldnât you. Gonna keep you in my bed, fuck you full of me.â He kisses you quickly, his words getting rough. âMy smart fuckinâ baby, begging for my cock.â
âDonât- Donât tease-â You mumble, and Bucky grins.
âBut youâre so pretty when I do.â
He kisses your cheek, and you feel raw. A live nerve, open for him and almost vibrating with desire. But Buckyâs hands are gentle against you. And you know.
Heâs going to treat you well.
âYou think you can let go for me?â His question is gentle. Almost soft. âAlways workinâ so hard.â He notches himself at your entrance, and your breath catches. âIâm gonna take care of you, arenât I.â
âYes.â You whisper. âPlease.â
Bucky grins, and kisses your lips. âThatâs right. You just gotta take it.â
You donât get to even nod, before Bucky starts to push in.
And youâre not a blushing nun. Youâve used your fingers, and even some toys. Tried to see what the big deal was. But it had just felt like something was inside of you, and kind of heavy, and mostly just annoying.
This is different.
Bucky splits you open, and it knocks the air from your lungs.
âBreathe.â He grunts in your ear, and you nod uselessly. âBreathe, baby.â
You gasp for air, burying your face in the crook of Buckyâs neck, and clawing at his shoulders.
He mutters your name, and you try to arch your back up, inviting more. You need more. Everywhere he isnât feels cold and hollow. Bucky needs to smear himself all over you, or youâre going to lose your mind.
âMore.â You manage to croak out, and Bucky grunts.
âAre you-â
âYes- Fuuuuck-â
You moan, loud and shameless, as Bucky presses deeper in. He bullies your pussy open, thick cock pressing deep into you and making your feel more full than you couldâve ever felt possible. Your body feels like itâs singing, a shiver of delight pushing up your spine as he hits that spot inside you that you werenât even sure was real.
Your pussy clenches involuntarily, and Bucky hisses in your ear.
âShit- Relax.â His thumb snakes between your bodies, massaging your clit. âLet me in, babydoll, come on-â
The massaging helps. You melt into him with a shaking breath, head tipping back when he bottoms out.
Buckyâs head drops into your chest, his breath hot against your breasts. Youâre just sitting in each other, in the sticky, feverish heat that might drive you insane.
âYou feel⊠fuckinâ perfect.â
Buckyâs voice is a rasp, and he sounds like a man ruined.
You might have already lost your mind.
âYou too.â You breathe out, and he chuckles.
The sound is a vibration, and you bite your lip as pleasure rushes right down to your toes.
âOh⊠God.â You squeeze your eyes shut, clenching again, and Bucky grabs your hips.
âYou gotta stop doinâ that-â
âCanât.â You whine. ââS- You did it, you spent forever working me up, and- And now-â
His muscles shift around you, and thatâs enough for your body to keen. Your back arches, pussy squeezing, and Bucky makes a guttural sound from his chest.
You squeak, when he pulls the tiniest amount out and slams back in. Your body goes completely limp, and Bucky pushes up over you, his cock still buried deep inside as he stares down at you.
âFor someone who asked me to teach her, youâre bad at takinâ directions.â
âYou- Bucky-â Heâs fucking you, shallow and slow. Just dragging back and forth. You might cry over it. âYou- You knew that already-â
âI did.â He muses, pressing your hips further down. Forcing you to feel every thrust of his cock against your cervix. âItâs something that I love about you, yâknow? So sweet and mouthy, all at once. My dream girl. So far outta my reach.â
He angles you a little up, letting him rut against your g-spot, and any chance of a sassy retort is knocked out of your head.
âNot right now, though.â His lips twitch. âBet youâd tell me anythinâ right now, if I fucked you nice and properly. Fucked you like you deserve?â
Your head bobs, words slurred on lust. âAny- Anything, Bucky, oh my god- mmmmh-â
His thumb swipes your clit, and itâs like a tiny shock you canât even react to. Your body jerks, but Bucky just pins you back into the mattress.
âThink I donât want you to talk right now.â Bucky leans down, smirking as you blink with teary eyes. âWeâre a little past that, arenât we sweetheart?â
Thereâs something mean and powerful, radiating off of him right now. He really knows exactly where he has you right now. And you have no desire to be anywhere else.Â
âYe- Yes.âÂ
âMightâve fucked you nicely, if weâd just talked a month ago.â He raises his brows. âBut you made me wait for this pretty pussy. Hurting us both, baby.â
âI- I was-â
âI know.â He kisses your nose. âYou are a fuckinâ brat. Bet you thought about this every time you touched yourself.â
âI- I did.â You confess. âNeeded your cock, Bucky. Youâre- Youâre so big-â
You mewl, as he rolls his hips and slams back in. He kisses you, open-mouthed and sloppy, and you can feel your slick need running down your ass. Or just Buckyâs sweat, as he tenses with the effort to hold himself back.
Effort is visibly, slowly slipping.
âYou feel that? Feel this dick inside of you?â He fucks a little harder, and your head rolls. âAll yours, babydoll. This hard, just for you.â
You whine, and Bucky sucks on a soft spot at the base of your throat.
âYouâre a natural.â He groans against your skin. âMade for this cock, made to be my pretty doll, and- shit-â
He rises back up, watching you with a dark, hungry gaze.
âYouâre trying so hard, arenât you. To not choke my dick with your tight little pussy.â
âI- I am, Bucky- Please-â
âYou gonna be good and listen to me, now?â
You nod, doe-eyed and cockdrunk, and Bucky hums in satisfaction.
âHands on my shoulders.â He instructs, and your body somehow finds the strength to listen. âMouth open. No holding back, wanna hear how you like it. Hear you scream my name.â
He kisses under your jaw, and you moan loudly. Buckyâs lips curve, and he pulls a little further out than before.
âJust like that. Good, isnât it?â
âSo good.â You whine, and Bucky hums.
âStay just like this for me, doll.â He drags fully out, then slams back in. You think you see stars behind your eyes, and a sound you didnât know you could make is pulled from your chest.
âBuuccky-â
âI know. Needy girl, wound up so tight.â He sets a slow but brutal pace, his hands bruising into your hips as he holds you down. âIâve got you now.â
And he does.
Buckyâs got you so good, youâre already ruined for anyone else.
He fucks you the same way heâs been kissing and touching you. Like heâs trying to lay a claim. Make it so thereâs no question what he wants, no doubt in your head that this is anything but serious. His hips piston against you, but itâs not rapid. Itâs the measured, strong work of someone who knows exactly what heâs doing.
If thereâs a pleasure point on your body, Buckyâs finding it and using it. You babble, as he abuses your g-spot with the thick head of his cock. His kisses swallow your every moan and plea, and you canât think beyond his massive body, completely draped over yours. Youâre tangled together, his balls slapping your ass and hands wandering over your body like he owns it.
He drags your knees up to your chest, helping him hit even deeper. Youâre so wet itâs smearing all over his cock, and the sight of him driving in and out of you is enough to make that pressure in your tummy feel like itâs going to explode.
Buckyâs beyond words himself, hunching over your and taking one of your nipples in his mouth as he grabs at the other. You mewl, eyes glazed over and body overwhelmed with the need to cum. You might scream if you donât. Youâre probably already screaming.
âI- I need- Bucky, please, please, fuck-â
You scratch at his shoulder, so close to toppling over the edge but unable to figure out how to just fall. Bucky grunts, slamming down harder. His tongue swirls your nipple, sucking the peak between full lips before he crashes back up. His kiss is sloppy and open. Youâre writhing in the sheet, edged into complete oblivion and on the verge of tears.
âYou having some trouble, babydoll?â Bucky teases, throaty and wrecked.
You nod, shaking with the need to snap. Bucky hums, kissing you too sweetly to be productive.
âLet go for me.â He squeezes your ass. âJust let go.â
Bucky finds your clit, and barely even offers more than a tease before youâre coming with a scream of his name.
Your back flies off the mattress, your hips bucking, and youâve never cum this hard in your life. The tension in you burst like fireworks, heat pooling down your pussy and your body trembling. Your vision goes white. You might black out for a second, the daze of pleasure clouding your gaze.
Thereâs nothing but Bucky, still pounding into you. The obscene sounds of it, his guttural moans and the slide of his cock through your spasming cunt. His thrusts are jagged and uneven, his mouth kissing you everywhere he can seem to reach.
He follows you quickly, thick ropes of cum painting your insides and dribbling out of your pussy.
Bucky kisses you one more time, before he pulls out. Itâs slower, like heâs trying to memorize you. You reach up to cup his face, smiling against his lips, and he lets out a heavy breath.
âThat wasnât too-â
âPerfect.â You whisper, and he relaxes.
âGood. Good.â He rises back up, brushing away the hair stuck to your face.
For a second, you just watch each other.
And with Bucky looking at you like youâre the most beautiful thing in the universe, you feel like it.
He certainly treats you like it, too. Cleaning you up like youâre a princess, a treatment you never thought youâd want until it was Bucky offering. A warm, wet cloth between your thighs and a glass of water. He carries you into the bathroom, changes the sheets, then brings you back to bed.
He pauses after he sets you down, hovering around the mattress with a frown.
You scoot a little to the side, give him a hopeful look, and his shoulders slump.
He crawls into bed next to you, pressing his face into your breasts and holding you tight.
âWe got things to talk about.â He mutters, and you hum, playing with his hair between your fingers.
âI know.â
âI was serious, about all of it-â
âI believe you.â
Bucky looks up at you with tired, but happy eyes. You smile, and they crinkle when he returns it.
It doesnât matter if youâre the most anything in the world.
To him, you seem to be the world. And thatâs more than enough.
âIâd like to take you out.â He says. âOn a real date. Then the gala, too. If you-â
âYes.â You beam. âYes, please. Iâd like that a lot.â
âŠEnd note: bucky on a dating app has haunted me since tfatws. glad to do something with that.⊠âŠIf you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3⊠âŠBuy me a coffee!âïž (and get early access!)⊠âŠTaglist (Fill out this form to be added!)âŠ




