"Tu eres mi hogar"

everyone had a phase as a kid where they wanted to eat random leafs off of trees and land before time is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT responsible for this phenomenon

GOOD FOR THEM

[description, mk 2: a middle-aged white woman, sitting calmly at a table and wearing a dress of birds and flowers, STARES DOWN the SCREAMING seagull that she is holding BY THE THROAT at arm’s length]

IT GOT BETTER

Now I want to get married just so I can do this.

If I were a billionaire I would absolutely tell my secretary to send wedding gifts to anyone who sent me an invite regardless of if I knew them, because- A. I know how expensive that nonsense is. B. I would be a billionaire and when else am I gonna do with that much money? Honestly… and C. I would totally make showing up at random weddings with crazy awesome gifts my new stress relief hobby. “Congratulations random strangers! I admire your daring and stratigic planning. Here’s that 700$ tea set you wanted but assumed no one would ever buy.”

“we invited an eccentric billionaire to our fake wedding in the hopes of getting a free present, but then they said they would come and now we have to have an actual fake wedding for them to attend.”

movie plot right there

Đần độn =)))

@righteousauthorities

No puedes quedarte con lo que dice la gente sobre alguien porque puede que la versión que te den, difiera mucho de la realidad. Así que es mejor que lo compruebes por ti mismo y te des cuenta de como es alguien sin juzgar por lo que te dicen.

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

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