𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚.

venom: the last dance is such a hilariously bad movie that i, the infamous Critique Enjoyer, couldn’t get past the first 30 minutes because it was just that bad. every actor phoned it in. the script was radioactive and written for co-viewing. a young girl reminds her twin brother that they’re related then gets struck by lightning at the beach. eddie and venom kill mexican cartel gang members for the crime of dogfighting because they’re “lethal protectors” then two minutes later blow out the engine of a 757 passenger jet and leave an entire plane of people to crash and die. every joke sucks. the romcom vibes from the first movie were shot out back and abandoned for buddy comedy shenanigans that never landed. every set piece was Generic Sci Fi Movie and not Venom Specific because sony either lacks the rights to the best venom characters or simply refused to use them in this trilogy. the writing felt like a giant FUCK YOU to studio notes and honestly i don’t blame the writers because wtf i’d be mad as hell too. movies are touched by a hundred hands before they reach theaters and every one of them clobbered VTLD with a greasy wet fist. that movie is a stomped on coke can. the sheer amount of totally fucked up tits-uppedness ratio to genuinely good story moments is ten gazillion to negative one. it should be studied in a lab. it is the only movie I’d ever watch a cinemasins video about. and for about five glaring minutes, venom is a horse going fast n furious nitrous mode through arizona or some shit, and no one laughed. and keely from ted lasso and michael from backrooms are there. all in the first 30 minutes.