Kane Shaw

I just miss you. Every single day. I miss your beautiful smile. I love you so much. (at Mountview Alpaca Farm) https://www.instagram.com/p/CnZK_0GJwn-dC91zaScyh7CHE7XmSVFWdZ80w80/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Two pictures. One that normally doesn't get posted to social media, and the one that does. Social media is all about posting a curated feed of your best moments. Hiding how you're really feeling. Hiding all the messy parts of yourself. Hiding the times you're not okay. I lost my wife to suicide 1.5 years ago. Today alone there will be about 9 people in Australia that take their own life, 6 males and 3 females. I was sitting in my car when I read a poem about loss, and in that moment I had every emotion of losing Jess come flooding back. It's not like it's not there all the time, but at that moment I couldn't stop myself from crying my eyes out wishing everything had been different. There are so many people, adverts, etc telling people "it's okay not to be okay," but still those of us that aren't okay usually just continue pretending we are. I don't know how to change that, but I think actually showing something that is hard/vulnurable might be helpful to those that are suffering in silence, to encourage them not only that they aren't alone but also that they don't have to pretend they are okay. I don't know about anyone else, but to me the hardest part of letting anyone know that I'm not okay is that I don't know how they can help, and so I don't expect them to know how to help. But for what it's worth, I'm not okay most of the time. I wish I could take my own advice when I say this, but if you're struggling, if you want to give up, know that whatever it is you're going through is only temporary. That one day you will be able to look back and be glad that you kept yourself alive. In the words of Winston Churchill, "if you're going through hell, keep going." #suicide #depression #itsokaynottobeokay https://www.instagram.com/p/ChcenkQJhEr/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Today was meant to be our 4-year anniversary. There is not a single day that goes by that I don't miss you. There is nothing I wouldn't give to bring you back. You're so incredibly beautiful, I miss your laugh, your smile, your kisses, your presence. I miss you so much. Nothing ever feels right without you here. I love you, I love you so so much. (at St Bernards Hotel - Mt Tamborine) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce2_ZEZJtAZ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Pass. https://www.instagram.com/p/CZworMRpX--/?utm_medium=tumblr

Parallel lines. https://www.instagram.com/p/CZrVuUHpw1u/?utm_medium=tumblr

3 years ago today(ish). I love you. I miss you so so much. ❤️💔 Every day I think about you. Every day I miss you. Every day I miss your smile. Every day I miss waking up to your kisses. I hate that you're not here. #love #missyou #missingyou #imissyou #forever31 (at Melbourne, Victoria, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWOGn8YpmHw/?utm_medium=tumblr

September 18th, 12pm. #wewillallbethere https://www.instagram.com/p/CT7j6Zypjso/?utm_medium=tumblr

Are you blind, or ignorant? https://www.instagram.com/p/CTLud6epY29/?utm_medium=tumblr

When I told you I'm fine, you were lied to. How could I think that all I gave you was enough? ❤️💔 Every day that passes I want things to get a little bit easier, but they don't. I don't want to feel like this forever. Jessica, I hope you knew how much you were loved, adored, cherished, and how many you inspired, and how much you would be missed. I feel like a hypocrite saying this, but if you ever feel like giving up, please don't. I saw a quote today that said: "If you're going through hell, keep going! Why would you stop in hell?" #fuckdepression #suicidalawareness #nevergiveup (at Bilambil Heights) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRjD340Jekg/?utm_medium=tumblr

Everything I know brings me back to us. Everywhere I go leads me back to you. ❤️ I miss you Jess. I love you and I want you. I want your smile, I want your kisses, I want your touch. This isn't fair. You should still be here. 💔 #fuckdepression #nevergiveup #suicidalawareness (at Kyoto, Japan) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRhG7cipxlU/?utm_medium=tumblr

Today, 3 years ago. You are so absolutely gorgeous. Not a day goes by that I don't miss waking up to your smile, or hearing your voice. In just a week after those photos, you became my wife. Every day I want this all to just be a bad dream. I want to somehow bring you back. I hate that you're not here. I'm sorry I didn't know how to save you. I love you so much. (at Bilambil Heights) https://www.instagram.com/p/CP5qThFpScb/?utm_medium=tumblr

Don't mind my pasty white feet, but how's my new bruise from doing lyra and trapeze last night? 😅 #hapystudio #aerial #lyra #aeriallyra #aerialhoop #trapeze #aerialtrapeze https://www.instagram.com/p/CPRzo3aJ8Jo/?utm_medium=tumblr

This week, a year ago. You're so beautiful. I'm having a particularly hard day/week. I can't stop wanting to talk to you, to see you, to hold you. I love you so much. I want to scream, but I know it won't change anything. Nothing can. Every day I think about you. Every day I want nothing more than to be with you. https://www.instagram.com/p/CPKnD5opob2/?utm_medium=tumblr

A new way of looking at the world. Follow @iseegood_ now so you don't miss the launch. #mentalhealth #mentalhealthadvocacy #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthdiscussion #mentalillnessawareness #depressionandanxiety #depressionawareness #anxietysupport #anxietydisorder #selfcareeveryday #selflove #selfcarevisuals #iseegood https://www.instagram.com/p/CNZxvfdpuDp/?igshid=1cy9vs60xurkg

Go and follow @iseegood_ so you don't miss out. #mentalhealth #mentalhealthadvocacy #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthdiscussion #mentalillnessawareness #depressionandanxiety #depressionawareness #anxietysupport #anxietydisorder #selfcareeveryday #selflove #selfcarevisuals https://www.instagram.com/p/CNXoqHRJ5Aq/?igshid=cp4zkmd6okx4

Ankle Hang. This one is painful, haha. Thx @sarebear_mc for showing me this one! And everyone for always telling me I can do these things 🙃 My inspiration: @jessi_cara ❤️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CNJ87TPpnUK/?igshid=ho5gsiouw8su

Repost @howmental • • • • • • Type “IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU” in the comments if this speaks to you❤️ About 5 years ago I was having suicidal thoughts. My heart hurt so bad that I had marks on my chest from holding it so tight. I would stay up dayssss at a time. I hadn't eaten well in weeks and it had started to show. I just felt like I could no longer survive in this world and I had to go. I wanted to talk to someone but every time I tried it felt like I couldn't breathe. I was afraid of what people would think. I'd heard people say that suicide is selfish because their family and friends would be in pain. But what about the pain I and so many people have gone through??? To get to the point where I don’t wait to exist and I am willing to harm myself is not a show, it’s not a drama - it is life! I am fortunate enough to have been found and rushed to medical assistance. I was met with love and support and not judgment. It was about my feelings not theirs. And that is so important. IT IS ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL NOT YOU. We all deserve happiness and I hope that you can always provide and receive the love, help, and support you need 🥰❤️✨ If you are thinking about harming yourself @HowMental is here for you! 🤝 Tap the link in our bio for a list of amazing list of apps, organisations and therapists who want to help you take care of your mind 😇 Follow 👉@HowMental to join our community and for even more support ✨ 📸: @girlyzar #mentalhealth #positivethoughts #positivemind #positivelife #dailymotivation #keepmovingforward #personalgrowth #mentalhealthawareness #bpd #helpothers #innerstrength #believeinyou #endthestigma #mentalhealthmatters #bethechangeyouwanttosee #breakthesilence #talkaboutit #stopthestigma #breakthestigma #mentalillnessawareness #anxietyrecovery #mentalhealthrecovery #anxietysupport #generalizedanxietydisorder #anxietyquotes #bipolardisorder #depressionrecovery #createyourownhappiness #selfhelp #selfcareisntselfish https://www.instagram.com/p/CND__JUpkRW/?igshid=1rnmzmiev94k2