Of the Castle Julius

Hey. My name is Moukie, and I need your help to escape from a toxic home environment. Because the alternative is great harm to me, or actually killing myself because that option is incredibly appealing right now. And that scares the jeepers out of me.

I came out to my mom on June 1st, 2018, and while we never had the healthiest relationship (she was always abusive, but she had her sweet parts too), I truly thought that she would at least still love me in some capacity. She would defend me against my homophobic dad and insist that if I was, that would be my “choice” and has nothing to do with her. 

She led me to believe that even if she didn’t support me because of my sexuality, that she would at least tolerate me. That she would at least love me, still. 

She doesn’t. It feels like she never has.

My mom is threatening me with kicking me out, and to a gay black boy with shit credit and no money saved, that’s pretty much a recipe for insta-death. I don’t think or know if I would survive out on the streets. I have no other family or friends I could turn to or stay with or anything like that. I work two jobs and I’m still fucking broke because of all our bills, tuition, bus fare, etc. 

I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m consistently suicidal. Those ideas are back in my head again, and they’re doing their damnedest to make sense. The trouble is, they really are. Whether or not I act on these impulses, the jury’s still out on that one. 

I’m trying to do my best to survive out of spite, to live my best gay life without my family, to reinvent and live and love myself the way I was meant to live and love myself. Maybe that’s in Los Angeles, or New York, or Paris, or Seoul, or maybe even here in Canada. Maybe I’ll just move to Toronto and try to survive and thrive on my own. 

But I need your help to get there.

Every five, ten, twenty, fifty, whatever dollars – they are invaluable to me and could mean the difference between life and death. Even reblogs help immeasurably. Between being stuck in this hellhole podunk town and house that has me living in fear whenever she comes home, that has me wanting to kill myself every single time she messages me to harass me some more because she’s fucking heartless. I’m trying to not love her anymore, to cut her off and distance myself and put boundaries between my mother and I the way I did and continue to try to do with my father. 

But she’s my mother, the way he’s my father, and it’s hard. But I’m trying to do right by me, to put myself first for once, and maybe help convince anyone who sees me live my best life away from the toxic influence of seemingly permanent family bonds that you can escape and go on to thrive and find your own family and make a better one for yourself.

I need help with finances to prepare me with my inevitable move. Bills, food, transportation, passport, tickets, rent for apartments, whatever. I don’t know how much to ask for. I’m just trying to get as much as I can as soon as I can so I’m not left with nothing and out in the cold Canadian winter and die on the street the way she clearly expects me to.

I’ll show her. We all will.

My paypal is [email protected].

Please help me out in whatever way you can. Under the cut is some of the shit I’ve had to deal with from her. Not exactly the best idea to read if you have a horrible relationship with your mother/parent, fyi.

The kicker is…I really, truly believed that maybe my own mother, the one who gave birth to me and took care of me and saw me my entire life, who raised me, who I came from, would maybe, possibly, hopefully love me for me. I thought maybe my mother would understand me. I thought maybe she would love me, for whom there was never a time before her. She decided I wasn’t worth loving.

And I have to live with that. I have to live with that knowledge. That my own mother couldn’t love me.

God, if that ain’t depressing. Fuck.

Any donations help!! It ALL COUNTS!!

https://www.paypal.me/YvesOrage

I’m trans, chronically ill and disabled !! PLEASE HELP ME SURVIVE!!

I’m so fucking stressed

https://www.paypal.me/YvesOrage

A lawsuit alleging the Ontario government has been arbitrarily making thousands of mentally disabled people wait indefinitely for provincial government supports after they turn 18 was certified as a class action on Friday.

In his decision, Superior Court Justice Edward Belobaba agreed the plaintiff had made a strong enough case to allow the as-yet untested claim to proceed to trial on its merits.

“The plaintiff’s complaint is not about inadequate funding or the need for a greater allocation of governmental resources but about the negligent utilization and administration of existing resources,” Belobaba wrote in his decision.

Hay guys Im sorry for asking for help again. I need $20 to get Challa some food. I only have 3 cans of fancy feast left. After putting gas in car,paying for his worm treatment and buying other supplies my $60 check is gone. I would appreciate any help. [email protected] cash app-SophiaChes

So Scientology has recently been purchasing ad spots on social media sites including Twitter and Facebook. Scientology has always worked hard to recruit young people it seems like they’re investing in social media as well now. I know most people think Scientology is a joke but it’s a seriously dangerous cult which uses fear, extortion, violence, vandalism and various other unethical actions against those who oppose them both inside and outside the church. Here is key information on the abuses committed by Scientology: 

•Scientology uses a form of pseudo-therapy called auditing which focuses largely on embarrassing and traumatic memories. Scientology collects the information you share and uses that information to threaten you if you oppose the church. They also charge huge amounts of money for auditing sessions (which is why they really are doing all this).

 •They are extremely anti-psychology and psychiatry and pressure you against taking any antidepressants, anti-anxiety medication or any other drugs for mental health.

 •They believe homosexuality can be “cured” and are blatantly homophobic. •Enemies of the church are labeled “suppressive persons” and it is forbidden to communicate with such people. This isn’t just to limit the negative press they receive but also is a manipulative tool. If you are in the cult and decide to leave or criticize the church you stand the risk of being completely cut off from your friends and family. “Suppressive Persons” are often also harassed, stalked, or threatened. 

•If you’re new to Scientology and your family or friends are worried about you being in a cult you’re instructed to cut them out of your life, increasing your reliance on the support system (though there’s nothing supportive about it) the church give to you. 

•Scientology’s doctrine includes the concept of “Fair Game”. This basically says that those who are judged a threat to the Church can be punished and harassed by any and all means possible.

 •Because of this, they have no moral qualms about having their members lie in court which they use to defend themselves from lawsuits or charges that they’ve broken the law and also to help win lawsuits against their enemies. •They essentially spied on and stole information from the IRS and tried to frame the mayor of Clearwater Florida for a hit and run. 

•Scientology filed 50 different lawsuits in one year against the Cult Awareness Network, an anti-cult organization. Using false testimony they won one of the suits and because the organization couldn’t pay the fine Scientology took the organizations name and logo so if you were calling to get out of Scientology you’d be unknowingly telling Scientology of your intentions. (For full transparency my mom was a member of the Cult Awareness Network before it was taken over and was sued individually by the Church of Scientology) 

•Scientology has an official branch known as the Sea Org, a mixture between a paramilitary group and slavery, comprised of their most dedicated members including many children/teens who’ve been raised in Scientology. This is where some of the most rampant and terrifying abuse in Scientology occurs. 

•Sea Org members often work over 100 hours a week for Scientology for around 2$ per hour.

 •Sea Org member’s living conditions are terrible; they live in overcrowded communal rooms with up to 12 other people, are not given healthcare unless there is a free clinic in the area, often are forced to miss meals or sleep in order to successfully completed their work. 

•Several former Sea Org members have accused the church of physical abuse. •Sea Org members may not have children and women who have become pregnant have reportedly been forced/coerced by their higher-ups to have abortions. 

it’s one of the scariest “religions” you’ll ever meet if not THE scariest because it was PURPOSELY created to make money. unlike most cults that do have some seed of genuine belief however twisted and off base the founders are, scientology was never a belief system - it was a get rich quick scheme for a terrible hack author who saw that there was more money to be made in manipulating people into a cult and then not letting them leave. higher and higher levels of scientology, which you have to take to be truly “clear” aka free of evil spirits, will cost you thousands and even millions of dollars. they will literally hook you into a billion year contract and then pursue you for any money you “owe” them, thousands of “back fees” for their religious training, if you try to leave.

oh and it has literally driven people to suicide as part of its goal to keep “suppressive persons” from spreading information. someone even made a fucking song about its abuses.

stay the fuck away from anything marked scientology or dianetics. narconon (NOT the same as narcotics anonymous, the 12 step program) is also their thing. never even step FOOT into one of their free dianetics “auditing sessions” because they will use it to manipulate you into joining. they are incredibly persistent and will use every trick in the book to get you on board.

Narconon

Dianetics

Associate of Better Living and Education (ABLE)

Criminon

Applied Scholastics

Delphi Schools

The Way to Happiness Foundation

Author Service Inc.

Bridge Publications Inc.

Golden Era Productions

New Era Publications

Citizens Commission on Human Rights

The National Commission on Law Enforcement and Social Justice

Cyntoia Brown (29 years old now) was 16 years old when she was imprisoned for killing a 43 year old man in self defense. 

She’s been ordered to serve 51 years in prison before becoming eligible for parole. The Tennessee Governor can grant her clemency and free her before he leaves office in January. 

Contact Tennessee Governor and urge him to grant clemency for Cyntoia before he leaves office. Call, write letters, send emails:

Governor Bill Haslam 1st Floor, State Capitol Nashville, TN 37243 (615) 741-2001 https://www.tn.gov/governor/contact-us.html

Information: https://theappeal.org/not-a-cardboard-cut-out-cyntoia-brow…/

https://www.nashvillescene.com/…/209875…/the-meaning-of-life

http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/films/me-facing-life/

Send a letter of support and encouragement to Cyntoia:

Cyntoia Brown #410593 Tennessee Prison for Women 2 North, B49 3881 Stewarts Lane Nashville, TN 37218-3302

The porn bots didn’t disappear. You just have to tap one more time to see them and they still spam posts.