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minecraft âi canât remember where i put anythingâ asmr
[sound of chest opening] [sound of chest closing] [sound of chest opening] [sound of chest closing] [sound of chest opening] [sound of chest closing] [sound of chest opening] [sound of chest closing] [sound of chest opening] [sound of chest closing] [sound of chest opening] [sound of chest closing]
@ayeforscotland
villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman
this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation⌠he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.
now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.
on the other hand, if youâre looking for something a little more⌠advanced⌠then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.
These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each otherâs sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.
Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? Heâs been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, heâd be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you donât expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.
This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But donât judge a book by its coverâwhile his appearance and demeanor suggest âvillainâ, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If youâre secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.
Donât limit your search to just fresh young goonsâplease consider hiring an elder goon, like this old-timer here. They came to the shelter after outliving two previous villains and have been cooking up dastardly plots and wicked schemes since before you were born. Donât let their bent and withered figures fool youâthey know their way around a death trap better than you do. Unlike unpredictable younger goons new to villainry, this goon has a known and dependable temperament with a strong sadistic streak and no history of betrayal or usurpation. With a little patience, they will adapt to a new master and live out the rest of their days happily rattling chains and doing your dark bidding.
kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.
i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."
goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'
"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.
behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."
"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."
"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."
later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."
she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.
the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?
i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.
but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.
each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".
but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

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(via Turkish woman allegedly kills abusive husband, becomes social media icon)
âWill women always die? Let some men die too,â Dogan told police. âI killed him for my honor.â
Since it was not included in the article, I thought I would provide a rough translation of her historical defense on court;
âWhen men wear suits and look down they get their sentences lowered; I dont have a suit, my mom barely managed to find this shirt for me. I wonât lie, there is also the joy of being able to survive that i canât conceal. Iâve walked the corridors of these courthouses countless times, my face covered in bruises, for a restraining order. I didnât have any other choice. If he hadnât died, I was going to. He wasnât going to tell you he had decided to pimp me out, he wasnât going to talk about his plans of putting me in the arms of other men, he wasnât going to tell you about the beatings I endured just because the eggplants were slightly overcooked, because the curtains were dirty, because there were leftover crumbs on the table. He wasnât going to mention how many times I was hospitalized. There is a picture of me taken in the teahouse. Iâve smiled a bit lopsidedly. Maybe he was going to show you that picture and tell you I looked like a dishonorable woman. He was going to tell you he âcleansed my honorâ as if he wasnât planning to pimp me out. You were going to sentence him to 3-5 years and pardon him because i had dishonored him and see my lopsided smile as provocation and feel sad for him. However, honor is mine Mr. Judge, I wonât leave it to anyone else just because I signed a paper.â
her name is Ăilem DoÄan and she was sentenced to 15 years for this. the court initially wanted to give her life imprisonment. she was released on bail in june 2016 and has since become a symbol for the movement against femicide and violence against women in Turkey.Â
I just remembered my second Pride, where I made different flag themed daisy chain bracelets/necklaces to hand out. I need folks to understand something:
They were free.
They were fucking free.
They were maybe ¢60 of acrylic yarn each at the most, and the whole ziploc bag of them took 2 hours max.
Three people gave me sad eyes until I took their money.
Someone who was clearly the mom friend of their group made me take a $5 and gave a 10 minute pep talk.
At least four more people insisted on getting change to pay for the, once again, free bracelets.
In spite of all these shenanigans, the absolute best was this one person who I can only describe as, âqueer surfer dude who looks like a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend.â I can remember nothing of the outfit, only the impeccable vibes. I did the same thing I did with everyone else, explaining the bracelets were free, and they nodded along as they took the last 6 strand rainbow bracelet. As soon as they had it on their wrist, they pointed at something over my shoulder and, like a fool, I looked.
Next thing I know, theyâre running off cackling, yelling, âYOUâLL NEVER CATCH ME!â and Iâm holding a fucking $20. I had to stop at least two people from chasing them, cause they thought the person stole something, and then they tried to give me money cause they thought it was funny seeing me flail over people being Too Nice.
That was the year I got reverse-robbed at Pride. I hope everyone out there is having a good time and, in particular, that queer surfer dude is out there still causing benevolent chaos.
After thinking about it for 15 minutes, I now know where the fuck my gremlin tendencies come from. I was always a little shit, and I always tried to be helpful, but this? This was when 19-year-old me realized that chaotic and good are not mutually exclusive.
The world has not known peace since.
These are a compilation of tweets I found and saved on my phone as reminders for when I feel like I need to feel validated or reminded that I am a worthy person no matter what and I thought you guys might need those too (part 5)
I really feel like Television should enter an era of allowing happy endings. Thatâs not to say characters canât suffer along the way or that storylines canât be âdarkâ but I would really like to see stories end on hopeful notes. Iâm so sick of every story having tragic endings, especially considering the world we live in right now. Call me naive, I donât care, but hope breeds hope. Love breeds love. Happiness breeds happiness. Allowing our characters to overcome and find the light in the end is powerful. Allowing characters to be happy is brave because happiness is not boring. I feel like weâre surrounded by dark stories in fiction and in reality and I find myself wondering whereâs the hope and happiness.. is no one overcoming the darkness?
As Terry Pratchett said:
Why does the third of the three brothers, who shares his food with the old woman in the wood, go on to become king of the country? Why does Bond manage to disarm the nuclear bomb a few seconds before it goes off rather than, as it were, a few seconds afterwards? Because a universe where that did not happen would be a dark and hostile place. Let there be goblin hordes, let there be terrible environmental threats, let there be giant mutated slugs if you really must, but let there also be hope. It may be a grim, thin hope, an Arthurian sword at sunset, but let us know that we do not live in vain.â
Too cute

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The kingdom pays you quite well in order to bury the remains of magical beasts on your property. Youâve always just seen this as free and easy income, but this season you start to notice something off about your crops.
While I was never particularly fond of the arrangement, it had helped my family through tough times. When I was young, I would eavesdrop on princes, knights, hunters, and anyone else looking to have something quietly burried on our land. It made me sad when whatever they brought us hadnât been hurting anyone. If it had been killed for sport or as some kind of rite of passage.Â
Sometimes after they were done, I would sneak out and sit by the newest mound and look at the stars, hoping that whatever was resting beneath me knew I was sorry for it; that I hoped it found some kind of peace on the land I call home. It never felt like enough though. Once, I decided to make a headstone for one of them, a baby frost dragon. Really, it was a log with the word âfrostyâ carved in it, but the next day it appeared in our fireplace as my father lectured me about the dangers of magical creatures. It never changed how I felt about the whole thing.
When I inherited the property once my father passed, I still couldnât break off the deal, but I did change how things were done. I would ask the client what they were burying and hand them the shovel. No small talk, no explainations, no tales of gradure overshadowing the body slumped over their horses backside. I wanted to make it clear I wanted nothing to do with what they had done and I did. After they finished and brought back my shovel, I would go and mark the grave. Something small that only I would notice. That way at least someone would remember them as more than prizes or monsters.
The garden was my plan to wean myself from depending on offering this sickening service. I couldnât bear the thought of leaving my home, but the reality of keeping a mass grave was even worse. So, I vistited a farm nearby who were willing to give me enough seeds for my first year. In the spring, I went around my property and began planting them by the markers I had left. I wasnât sure how well they would grow if they would at all, but I couldnât sit and stare at these ugly mounds of death and shame anymore. I wanted to make them beautiful.
To my joy, they grew. Some of which better than I had even expected and others grew differently than I thought they would. Of course, this was due to what was under them, but I had never considered that possibility.
It started small. First, I noticed the berries on the blueberry bush above Frosty were sparkling. When I looked closer, it wasnât some trick of the light, they were frosted and frozen solid but still growing strangely enough. They tasted sweet and helped me keep cool on long summer days. Only one was enough to make someone shiver on the hotest days of the year.Â
I never expected the apple tree I planted above the Caladriusâ grave to live. For years, there was a radius of dead soil around it. No matter how much rain or sun it recieved, any seeds that fell upon it were doomed to shrivel and die. Except for the apple tree. By the end of the year, it had grown to an astounding height of 30 feet and in the fall, it produced a number of white apples. Theyâre sweet and they can keep for months, but storing them is tricky. Anything theyâre near starts rotting or dying meanwhile the fruit remains perfectly fine. The tree itself is beautiful in a haunting way. No animals ever nest in it, not even ants touch the fallen fruit. As it grows, the trees closest to it are starting to die. Fearing what it could do to the forest, Iâve taken it upon myself to dispose of its seeds carefully, not wanting the species to spread if it can.
Planting watermelons on the Kelpies grave was a mistake, one that I wouldnât recommend repeating. Of course, they began just fine, growing fast and gracefully. Their flowers were a vibrant yellow and despite the bees avoiding them, they soon began growing into fruit. They looked gorgeous, sporting deep shades of emerald green and promising to be delicious. They werenât. When I cut into them, the smell was atrocious. They were rotten and the gooey mess they left behind stayed around wash after wash until I eventually decided to burn the table that slime had gotten all over. I never replanted there, but I did give the remaining melons to pretentious clients if they would inscesantly brag about the things theyâve killed. Rarely did I ever see them again after that.
The same farmer the following spring traded some of my blueberries for a pair of lambs, boy and a girl. They were adorable when they were little and it didnât take long for me to grow attached to them. That why I began panicking when their skin began to turn gray, stiff, and cold as stone. Their wool fell out and they began refusing the hay I was giving them, instead choosing to gnaw on stones and pebbles. Despite all these changes, their temperment never did so. They acted happy and content, continuing to thrive despite my worries. The ramâs horns began growing in and had a golden shine to them. Then, their wool grew back even though it wasnât the same. It was sharp and shiny. Once it was long enough, I could see it wasnât even hair. It was steel. I had to comission a blacksmith for a special pair of shears so I coud shear them properly. Now sheâs the primary buyer of their wool, using it to make modified chain mail. It took me far too long to realize the stones in the field where I grew their hay were really the remains of stone golems that had likely been there since before I was born.
Mastering the properties of my land has been a long process. However, I did what I set out to do. I no longer rely on providing a service I despise. Iâve made my home something to be proud of, something magical. At last it is somewhere I and any others here can feel at peace.
I'm still not over the fact that the last full song my chemical romance released before the Great Hiatus they broke up forever we promise was literally titled Fake Your Death
People who have symptoms but no official (or unofficial) diagnosis are just as welcomed into the Ouch Community as anyone else. I don't care if you're in the "tummy hurted for too long" or the "i have no arms or legs, my skin is made of paper, my bones are made of glass, and I have the most advanced Disease ever" category.
The community is "it hurt and is now my life"
âListen to me, girl, you have castles inside your bones, coronets in your heart, if he threatens you with battle, you raise him a whole war, the last time I checked, Queens cower before no man.â
This quote Queens II by Nikita Gill hits even harder today.
To all the women whoâs lives are now at risk due to this unjust ruling by the Supreme Court, and to those fighting against it.
We will not back down. We will not be silent. We are with you. We will win.
Miss World Philippines Lambunao-Iloilo 2022 National Costume Contest Entry
Inspired by âReyna Del Santisimo Rosarioâ, this national costume depicts the Philippinesâ proud heritage and culture, strong faith, responsible and resilient Filipinos. The respresentation, through this wonderful piece, is an embodiment of a true Filipina that can outshine the world - strong, outstanding and an inspiration.Â

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There is a post deep down on my blog somewhere that is just a full grown tiger in a giant cardboard box with FREE KITTEN written on the front of it that is my favourite post on this entire website I think about that baby and I cry a little
ouuuuhahsjldfkht34wtiegyduhgrhwtih baby sweet little baby itty bitty tiny sweet cat im gonna start SOBBING are you SEEING THIS
The spirit of Diogenes is alive and well
This is funny, obviously, but even if you don't go to the extreme of the example above, this is a separate seat for one person, with a back and 4 legs:
But it's not a chair. It's a bar stool.
This, however, are all chairs:
Each one is missing at least one component of the chair definition above.
So like... it's almost like strict definitions are exclusionary.
Reblog to hit a transphobe with a separate seat for one person
This is so fucking important and so fucking funny at the same time