Hot, But Unhelpful

Propaganda

Niklaus Hendrix (Just Roll With It: Riptide):

Niklaus Hendrix was an honorary mention without propaganda.

Bruce Wayne AKA Batman (Batman: Bump In The Night):

What if Batman was the last line of defense between Gotham and the supernatural unknown? What if he did less punching and more paranormal detecting (but still a generous amount of punching)? What if he could exorcize, comfort, or rehome antagonists instead of just throwing them in Arkham?

he talks his villains down and then HIRES THEM AS PART OF THE BAT TEAM

HE'S FRIENDS WITH VIKTOR FREEZE

HE'S EXES WITH SO MANY PEOPLE

Propaganda

Renée Minkowski (Wolf 359):

She's a 40-something space captain who was desperate to be part of something and to matter, so she went to space. She puts on a serious, no-nonsense persona to feel capable, but she's actually a huge dork who loves poetry, musicals, and ice cream. She's a first-generation Polish immigrant, and her arc is very much tied up in that and in how she feels like she has to be the best at everything in order to have any worth. She's a failgirl who got rejected from the NASA space program five times. She spent two weeks hunting a plant monster in the vents of her ship. She Russian-Rouletted a guy into turning off the bomb he was trying to blow up the ship with. She killed the main villain of the series with the same harpoon she used to kill the plant monster. She loves her crew and would protect them with her life. She learns to embrace her own identity outside of externally-given roles. She's frighteningly competitive in board games. What's not to love?

There's nothing hotter than a beat up woman who shoots a harpoon. And Minkowski is that woman.

Faustina (Fucking) Fetamine (KILLJAM XXX):

SHE'S FAUSTINA FUCKING FETAMINE THE KILLJAM QUEEN!!! SHE'S UNDEFEATED! SHE KILLED SOMEONE WITH HER THIGHS! SHE LOVES UNICORNS AND PINK! SHE'S FAUSTINA FUCKING FETAMINE!!!

if we can get her to 30% by the end of the vote I will draw a Faustina pinup!

Propaganda

Renée Minkowski (Wolf 359):

She's a 40-something space captain who was desperate to be part of something and to matter, so she went to space. She puts on a serious, no-nonsense persona to feel capable, but she's actually a huge dork who loves poetry, musicals, and ice cream. She's a first-generation Polish immigrant, and her arc is very much tied up in that and in how she feels like she has to be the best at everything in order to have any worth. She's a failgirl who got rejected from the NASA space program five times. She spent two weeks hunting a plant monster in the vents of her ship. She Russian-Rouletted a guy into turning off the bomb he was trying to blow up the ship with. She killed the main villain of the series with the same harpoon she used to kill the plant monster. She loves her crew and would protect them with her life. She learns to embrace her own identity outside of externally-given roles. She's frighteningly competitive in board games. What's not to love?

There's nothing hotter than a beat up woman who shoots a harpoon. And Minkowski is that woman.

Faustina (Fucking) Fetamine (KILLJAM XXX):

SHE'S FAUSTINA FUCKING FETAMINE THE KILLJAM QUEEN!!! SHE'S UNDEFEATED! SHE KILLED SOMEONE WITH HER THIGHS! SHE LOVES UNICORNS AND PINK! SHE'S FAUSTINA FUCKING FETAMINE!!!

if we can get her to 30% by the end of the vote I will draw a Faustina pinup!

Propaganda

Niklaus Hendrix (Just Roll With It: Riptide):

Niklaus Hendrix was an honorary mention without propaganda.

Bruce Wayne AKA Batman (Batman: Bump In The Night):

What if Batman was the last line of defense between Gotham and the supernatural unknown? What if he did less punching and more paranormal detecting (but still a generous amount of punching)? What if he could exorcize, comfort, or rehome antagonists instead of just throwing them in Arkham?

he talks his villains down and then HIRES THEM AS PART OF THE BAT TEAM

HE'S FRIENDS WITH VIKTOR FREEZE

HE'S EXES WITH SO MANY PEOPLE

Propaganda

Renée Minkowski (Wolf 359):

She's a 40-something space captain who was desperate to be part of something and to matter, so she went to space. She puts on a serious, no-nonsense persona to feel capable, but she's actually a huge dork who loves poetry, musicals, and ice cream. She's a first-generation Polish immigrant, and her arc is very much tied up in that and in how she feels like she has to be the best at everything in order to have any worth. She's a failgirl who got rejected from the NASA space program five times. She spent two weeks hunting a plant monster in the vents of her ship. She Russian-Rouletted a guy into turning off the bomb he was trying to blow up the ship with. She killed the main villain of the series with the same harpoon she used to kill the plant monster. She loves her crew and would protect them with her life. She learns to embrace her own identity outside of externally-given roles. She's frighteningly competitive in board games. What's not to love?

There's nothing hotter than a beat up woman who shoots a harpoon. And Minkowski is that woman.

Faustina (Fucking) Fetamine (KILLJAM XXX):

SHE'S FAUSTINA FUCKING FETAMINE THE KILLJAM QUEEN!!! SHE'S UNDEFEATED! SHE KILLED SOMEONE WITH HER THIGHS! SHE LOVES UNICORNS AND PINK! SHE'S FAUSTINA FUCKING FETAMINE!!!

if we can get her to 30% by the end of the vote I will draw a Faustina pinup!

Propaganda

Dr. Ava Maddox (Midnight Burger):

Theoretical physicist with four PhDs

She has, as of season 4, figured out All of the Universe(s) (yes all of it she knows how it works she is the biggest brain ever), and is well on her way to figuring out All of the Existence.

She writes in a fucking terrible dead form of Dutch shorthand because if she doesn't people will try to steal her science

Found The Diner, so a time-travelling dimension-spanning vessel that is notoriously impossible to find, through the power of Math and her GIGANTIC BRAIN. SHE IS SO SMART. SHE'S A SMART MEAN LADY WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT

Mean in the funniest, coolest, sexiest way possible. She will cut you to pieces and leave you to metaphorically bleed out on the sidewalk if you try her.

She was a professor at Cornell so she's been through the pits of academia and back. And it very much shows.

She was disowned by her mom

Once she was kidnapped by space fascists and she made them cry and question the nature of their reality

"The more you disconnect me from my physical body, the more powerful I become." Is an actual thing she said. And she is right.

Terrible taste in men. Sorry to say it but. It's true.

Lives in Her Booth like some sort of fae creature attached to her territory. No one is allowed to touch Her Booth.

Is fuelled by "coffee, nicotine and pure darkness"

Does Not Have Time For Your Bullshit

Does not know how to handle emotions

Tom Lehrer fan

She's in a situashionship with the most miserable man of the multiverse

Colette Geise (The Kingmaker Histories):

Propaganda

Niklaus Hendrix (Just Roll With It: Riptide):

Niklaus Hendrix was an honorary mention without propaganda.

Bruce Wayne AKA Batman (Batman: Bump In The Night):

What if Batman was the last line of defense between Gotham and the supernatural unknown? What if he did less punching and more paranormal detecting (but still a generous amount of punching)? What if he could exorcize, comfort, or rehome antagonists instead of just throwing them in Arkham?

he talks his villains down and then HIRES THEM AS PART OF THE BAT TEAM

HE'S FRIENDS WITH VIKTOR FREEZE

HE'S EXES WITH SO MANY PEOPLE

Propaganda

Renée Minkowski (Wolf 359):

She's a 40-something space captain who was desperate to be part of something and to matter, so she went to space. She puts on a serious, no-nonsense persona to feel capable, but she's actually a huge dork who loves poetry, musicals, and ice cream. She's a first-generation Polish immigrant, and her arc is very much tied up in that and in how she feels like she has to be the best at everything in order to have any worth. She's a failgirl who got rejected from the NASA space program five times. She spent two weeks hunting a plant monster in the vents of her ship. She Russian-Rouletted a guy into turning off the bomb he was trying to blow up the ship with. She killed the main villain of the series with the same harpoon she used to kill the plant monster. She loves her crew and would protect them with her life. She learns to embrace her own identity outside of externally-given roles. She's frighteningly competitive in board games. What's not to love?

There's nothing hotter than a beat up woman who shoots a harpoon. And Minkowski is that woman.

Faustina (Fucking) Fetamine (KILLJAM XXX):

SHE'S FAUSTINA FUCKING FETAMINE THE KILLJAM QUEEN!!! SHE'S UNDEFEATED! SHE KILLED SOMEONE WITH HER THIGHS! SHE LOVES UNICORNS AND PINK! SHE'S FAUSTINA FUCKING FETAMINE!!!

No parts of it extended beyond the lines, and the paper ticket was clearly displayed, impaled on a horn.

Remember when Lil Nas X beautifully explored his sexuality, seduced and killed the devil to the banger of all time, and instead of cheering on this openly gay and proud Black artist for his artistry and fighting back against respectability politics, suddenly said respectability politics was all the Queerest Place on the Internet cared about? Hm. Wonder what happened there.

Propaganda

Niklaus Hendrix (Just Roll With It: Riptide):

Niklaus Hendrix was an honorary mention without propaganda.

Bruce Wayne AKA Batman (Batman: Bump In The Night):

What if Batman was the last line of defense between Gotham and the supernatural unknown? What if he did less punching and more paranormal detecting (but still a generous amount of punching)? What if he could exorcize, comfort, or rehome antagonists instead of just throwing them in Arkham?