So one of my neighbors has a lawn Roomba or whatever they're called, and this thing trundles around looking like a background robot in the background of the original trilogy, and ABSOLUTELY BAFFLING THE DOGS.
They have concluded, I think, that it's some kind of prey animal because right after this video ended they decided to crouch down and stalk it, which means I'm 90% sure I'm going to have to stop Arwen from eating it at some point.
Of course it's a prey animal it fucking eats GRASS
While I can’t fault your reasoning on robot taxonomy, apparently we’re both wrong: Arwen, as much as she is a high-prey-drive animal, is foremost, a herding dog, and has decided that the Lawn Roomba is a SHEEP.
What happened is the lawn roomba belongs to the guy that does most of the maintainence on the neighborhood park, and he had it out grazing on a different section of lawn when my parents came down for a walk and Arwen was siezed by 200 years worth fo Kelpie Instincts, rolled out of her Harness and proceded to herd the shit out of this tiny, oblivious robot.
Everything was on display- mock-stalking, intimidating eye contact, barking, running in front of it to try to get it to balk, the scariest barking she can muster (which is actually. pretty scary if you’re not used to Loud Dogs), looking back at my parents for directions. or rather, looking at my Mom while Dad tried unsuccessuflly to capture her.
After about ten minutes they realized she wasn’t biting it, and decided to let her play Sheep Simulator 5000 for a while. She eventually figured out that
It doesn’t respond to Yelling, Posturing or Aggressive Eye Contact
It does respond to having it’s wheels or bump hazards hit
It would respond to its side being nosed or slapped by moving in a different direction
Conent that this was apparently some kind of blind, deaf and particularly stupid sheep, she could now manage the robot by smacking it if it got too close to the creek bed or fence for her liking, and was eventually content to sit on the highest point of the field and Supervise (TM) it.
“Hey.” Said Roger, owner of the robot. “Do you think if I put the ramp down she’ll herd it into the back of my pickup?”
Arwen was mostly asleep in the afternoon sun as roger put the ramp down but woke right up when mom Whistled, then pointed at the truck. She immediately went after the robot and did something that wouldn’t have occured to me, an allegedly more intelligent being: the robot is roughly triangular, and when it hits an obstacle, will change direction so that one of its other sides (rather than points) is now the ‘front’. So to get it to move in a straight line in the direction she wanted, Arwen would smack the two sides of the robot that she didn’t want it to go in in quick sucession, and got it across the field, over a small hill and up the ramp as fast as it’s clumsy little wheels could go.
“I didn’t know you had a fully-trained sheepdog!” Said Roger
“Me either.” said Mom.
So Arwen now has a Semi-Weekly Appointment to play with Sheepbot.
Well this is just beguiling
It also just goes to show that all the dudes who have fretted about the Robot Apocalypse for generations needed to hang out outside with dogs more
Isn’t this the same Arwen from that one super popular text post?
Yes, this is the Terrible Shenanigans Dog. Since we all seem to need more Arwen Content right now, some of her greatest hits:
A Short List Of The Shenanigans My Parent’s Dog Has Engaged In
An Explanation of WHY Arwen Knows So Much Weird Bullshit and Is Physcially Capable of This Degree of Chicanery
Arwen Teaches My Dog Charleston Her Relentless Nonsense
Arwen Enjoys A Brussel Sprout
Arwen Enjoys Having The Hose Sprayed Directly In Her Face
Arwen And Charlie Work Together To Outwit Me
Arwen’s Ongoing Rivalry With The Local Fox
You can also search the #Family Lore tag on my blog for more funny stories
------------------------------------------------------------------
(If you want to support em AND get a physical copy of these stories you can subscribe to my Patreon or you can leave me tips on my Ko-fi or Paypal. I’ve had some unexpected expenses lately and it would REALLY help out!)
