#americansatan

- Like a pendulum I forgot where I came from With the weight of the world Swing me back and forth again Like a pendulum I forgot where I came from -

Storyline with @ambrosialmadness​  

I was free from spending the rest of my life in prison but the past few weeks didn’t feel that way. I’d signed the agreement to take council from the attorney Elias knew and was surprised to find I /did/ get off on the technicality just as he promised. That stop me from feeling like I was still imprisoned. 

For weeks I’d spent my time hiding out in my bedroom, only coming out for food and to use the rest room. After all I’d been through with the band and the media’s sensationalizing everything I needed time away from it all. Reporters came to my home repeatedly, wanting to know my version of what happened. The other band members had agreed with my words about the devil but also agreed it was just rock and roll music. Elias claimed the shooting of Malcom was just a show, all a hoax to gain more media attention. There were copy cat killings, whispers of odd events surrounding the band and a darker, deeper meaning to the music. After all, wasn’t the devil a big part of all that? The heart of rock and roll?

Fans continued to send their mail to the band, buying up our merchandise and listening to our music. Nothing seemed to sway them. To them? We had brought a light to a dark world. They saw the positive changes, the lowered rates in children committing suicide, less bullying in schools, and more focus on music and love. But damn it was so hard to look at all of this and say that it had been a successful ride.

I’d fallen for the devil, done everything I swore I’d never do. I deserved to rot in that prison cell away from the world, writing music that would never be heard. I’d betrayed those I loved the most in the name of drugs, sex and rock and roll. I couldn’t take that back. I had plenty of material for songs but no motivation to get them recorded. I only had two things on my mind, keeping my mom and I safe from the media until it all died down...and Gretchen.

The last time I’d seen Gretchen was in prison. She’d come with the others to encourage me to get out of prison and live my life, including going back to the Relentless. She claimed to know all of what had happened but since I’d gotten out, she’d screened each and every one of my phone calls. To say I was confused was an understatement. If she wanted me out so badly, why ignore me? There were things we needed to talk through, apologies I needed to make even if she could never forgive me for the things I did. 

Just after dark on a Friday night, I borrowed my mom’s car so no one would know it was me and headed down the road to visit her. I wasn’t sure if she would answer or not but it was worth a shot. I parked the car on the curb and pulled out my phone, texting her again to see if she would answer. Nothing. 

“Fuck...” I shook my head and dialed her number. I didn’t want to just show up like some crazy asshole. She probably thought of me that way because of what I did and how I acted in prison. Still, no answer.

so for those who didn’t know,Paradise City (the spin off series of the american satan film) is now back on amazon prime,and i finished watching it and when i say im broken after the last episode it is by far an understatement,i knew they would get revenge but not in that way and that poor guy thinking no one thought about him because they were so lost in the whirlwind.

christ i need a shot,i-just woah.

Overall it’s an incredible series but holy hell is it gonna break your heart throughout,the cast is maginificent and its a sad that Cameron won’t be reprising as simon but good lord im so thankful we got to see him rock out because he was such a goddamn star on the rise,the dedication at the end had me bawling. Booboo stewart what a goddamn legend,never knew i needed to see him as a rockstar but hell yes it is the best thing ever.

The incredible musicians from the voices of the acts and then of course Andy Biersack,Benjamin Bruce and pretty much everyone just woah.